A/N:

I'm very sorry that it's taken me a while to update. I plead Christmas mania. Thank you to all of you for reading. I see that I am getting a lot of new readers – so many story alerts – but you guys don't leave reviews! Please, if you are enjoying the story, leave a review! It gets others to read too. And it lets me know how I'm doing. I am ever faithful at writing back – so if you want to exchange ideas – leave me a review!

And please check out my all human story: Second Chances. It's very different; but hopefully, equally passionate. I love the passion…

Chapter 13

The dull throbbing pain in my head was so persistent that it woke me from the deepest night of sleep that I'd had since we moved to Forks. I swung my legs off the edge of the bed sending a new wave of sharp daggers to attack the sensitive spot behind my eyes. I recognized this sensation as a residual effect of the intense mind reading session from the previous night.

I stumbled into my bathroom and turned on the light, squinting against the new assault to my senses. I opened the medicine cabinet and after a few minutes of scanning the shelves, all the while cursing the continual throbbing, I found the pain killers. I ripped open the plastic bottle and shook more than the required dosage into my palm. In one swift motion I threw back my head and swallowed the pills all at once. I turned on the faucet, cupping my hand to gather some water and slurped it sloppily, dribbling on my chin.

It was as I hovered over the sink, wiping the line of water from my chin, that I heard a soft but persistent knock at my bedroom door. I shuffled over, my head still hanging and opened the door a crack. As Alice's head shot through the door, my languid body was forced to react, and I somehow managed to jump backward a foot or two to let her enter.

"Oh my god, Edward. You look…um…"

"I know Alice. What do you want?" I interrupted her. I didn't need to know that I looked as bad as I felt.

"Looks like you partied a little too hard last night. I didn't really expect that of you, Edward. Emmett said you left with Bella. I just knew that something was going to happen between you two but I never could have imagined that you two would go off drinking."

Alice didn't really ever wait for any one to respond, happily rambling to fill in the empty spaces of conversation. And this morning I was content to let her come to her own conclusions while I tried to pull myself together enough to think through all that had happened the night before.

Bella. Bella. I couldn't explain it, but she was my life now. I knew what she was but somehow it didn't change how I felt about her. I went over all things she had told me the night before as I flopped back down on the edge of my bed. I looked up at my impatient sister with her hands on her hips, her foot tapping restlessly and wondered what I should or could tell her.

"Ed-ward," she whined. "Are you going to talk to me or not?"

"Yes, Alice, I'm going to talk to you. Yes, I was with Bella last night and…and well, we weren't drinking. We just talked."

Well, why do you look like that?" she gestured toward my face and I remembered my gaunt, worn reflection in the mirror.

"I don't know. I just have a headache," I explained. Alice sat her tiny body down on the bed next to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "I'm sorry for being so nosy, Edward. But you know you can tell me anything. Tell me about Bella. Are you guys together now?"

"I don't know what to tell you. We just kind of got to know each other better last night. And well, I…" I was saved from saying anything more by Emmett's booming voice coming from the living room announcing the arrival of Rosalie and Jasper. Alice bounded from my bed and out to the door, her interrogation about my love life completely forgotten. I heard her squeal, "Jasper!" and thought, not for the first time, that I was infinitely thankful for Jasper's presence in my sister's life.

As my siblings paired off with our visitors, I pulled on some sweats and a t-shirt and headed out for the kitchen. I downed a cold cup of coffee, wincing at its bitterness and sat down on the edge of the piano bench. Images from Bella's memories flooded my mind and I felt drawn to my piano, my fingers fluttering lightly over the keys. Each emotion, each moment of passion and horror became notes that wove themselves together in a melody that flowed from my heart to my fingers.

I played for hours, working out the pattern of the haunting, lilting song. I obsessively worked and reworked the phrasing so that it conveyed all that I was feeling, all that she shared with me. I interwove parts of the songs that I had only heard in my mind – tunes that Bella had been thinking or humming. When I had been at it for hours, my energy finally spent, I pulled out my composition paper and scribbled down all the music that I had played – inspired by Bella and all of my feelings for her. Before closing the folder I wrote the words, "for Bella," on the top of the sheet.

I spent the rest of the evening wondering where Bella was and what she was doing. I shut myself in my room for the night, trying without success to read and do homework. Alice attempted to pull me out of my melancholy and lure me out of the bedroom with the promise of chocolate brownies she and Esme had made for dessert. But even chocolate had no appeal. I knew I wouldn't feel complete until I saw Bella again. I felt like time was simply wasted without her.

*

I woke up on Monday morning to the sunlight coming in through my bedroom window. I felt my chest expand with each breath in my eagerness to see Bella's beautiful face again, to touch her exquisite skin, and to hear her melodious voice as my name fell from her sweet lips. But as I neared Biology class I could already sense that she wasn't there. There were no thoughts, no images, no lovely humming drifting my way to fill my empty mind. The world was painfully silent.

Rather than spend an excruciating day at school, in constant speculation about Bella and her whereabouts, I decided to try and find her. After suffering through a very dull Biology class without her, I sprinted out to the parking lot. I had been so anxious to see Bella again this morning that I was ready to leave for school before Alice had even gotten out of the shower. Thankfully, Emmett had volunteered to wait around for Alice to finish her lengthy morning routine and give her a ride to school.

Even in my anxiousness to flee the school, I couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of Emmett's mud-splattered Jeep parked at ridiculously crooked angle next to my Volvo, effectively taking up two parking spaces. So absolved of my responsibility to drive my siblings home, it was a perfect day to ditch school.

I didn't hesitate for a second, but slipped into the driver's seat of my Volvo and headed toward Bella's cabin. After driving down a couple of wrong insanely bumpy dirt roads, I finally found the quaint little wooden structure in the woods.

I knew as soon as I got out of the car that she wasn't inside. I sensed its emptiness. And moreover, I didn't hear her thoughts. Still, to be certain, I peeked in the windows and walked the circumference of the little house. When I had exhausted any possibility that she was near, I slumped down onto the porch and dropped my head in my hands. Like I did when I was anxious or nervous, I ran my hands through my hair, thoughtlessly messing it and spiking it in all directions.

After some time, I settled back on the doorframe and took in the beauty of the surrounding woods. Even though it felt remote and solitary here, the wilderness was surprisingly noisy. I listened to birds fluttering around in the branches high above me, and the wind whooshing aggressively above as it filtered through endless clusters of prickly pine needles. I inhaled deeply, breathing in the raw scent of the wet, mossy forest floor.

Everything seemed so intrinsically in sync here – the trees, the earth, and the moisture in the air. It was fresh and teeming with life. I aimlessly watched a fat slug slither its slow but determined path across a fallen bruised leaf. I closed my eyes and pondered my next move. Without Bella's presence here it felt foreign. I was an outsider here, witness to an organic world that I could never completely fathom. I felt small and unnecessary and with that realization, I became all at once eager to leave.

I drove home to find Esme in the kitchen baking chocolate chip cookies. I could already smell them from outside of the kitchen door and my mouth watered involuntarily as I was enveloped in the comforting aroma of baked sugar and vanilla. I clomped into the house thoughtlessly and startled Esme when the screen door banged on its hinges.

"Edward! What are you doing home?" She asked, her face rigid in surprise. "I'm sorry, Mom, I just couldn't stay at school." I felt a twinge of guilt as I played the card I knew would buy me my freedom for the day. "The song I've been working on keeps coming into my head, distracting me and I just couldn't focus on school. I had to come home and work on it."

I was fairly certain that Esme could read the real desperation on my face. She was silent for a moment and I could tell she was deciding what course of action to take. When she narrowed her eyebrows and her eyes softened sympathetically I knew I had succeeded.

She sighed and then nodded in understanding. "Okay, Edward. I will call the school." I instantly made my way to the piano, my fingers actually aching in anticipation of touching the keys. I longed to hear the notes to the song that kept lingering in the back of my mind. I wasn't discontent to spend the remainder of the morning sitting at the piano, relishing in the creation of my love song for Bella.

By the time that Alice and Emmett bounded through the front door, I had begun to feel the cramping in my arms and back. Rather than face all their questions, I retreated to my room and hid out until I had to make an appearance for dinner. Carlise had specifically worked out his shift at the hospital so that we could eat dinner together as a family. Sitting down to eat our final meal of the day together was one of the only consistent demands he made on our schedules as we got older. This nightly ritual was not negotiable, it was mandatory.

Now that I had a secret to hide that I wasn't prepared to share, I was worried that they would be able to see that I had changed, that I was different. But no matter how much I wanted to avoid their scrutiny, I had to face my family. The dinner table was like the interrogation room at a police station. I was screwed.

Emmett thankfully seemed impervious to my foul mood and dominated the conversation at dinner. Alice kept shooting questioning glances in my direction and I bided my time before she brought up my absence at school. Unlike Emmett, Alice was perceptive and I could tell that she knew something was up and wanted to know what it was. Before she could corner me and ask discreetly like I was expecting, Emmett forced me to address the very issue that I had been avoiding sharing with my family. There was a lull in the conversation and Emmett looked at me with sharp eyes as though just noticing that something was wrong.

"So what's up with Bella, dude? You skip to hang out with her or something?"

All eyes flashed to me. Both my father and mother seemed awakened by his question and looked at me imploringly. I didn't answer. Esme did.

"Edward came home early…he was here," she said to Emmett and then turned back to me. "Who is Bella, Edward?" I didn't answer. Alice did.

"Bella is a girl at our school. She is so beautiful and incredibly smart," Alice stated bluntly, placing the green bean dangling on the end of her fork into her mouth.

Everyone reverted their gaze back to me. I could especially feel the eyes of my mother of me. I knew that she was concerned and I couldn't help feeling guilty for constantly adding to her worries. But I waited. I felt as though I should say something but instead I dropped my eyes to the pool of buttery sauce on my plate and pushed a wilted bean from side to side with the tines of my fork. The heat of my family's focused attention blazed across my face but I steadfastly focused my eyes downward, denying them satisfaction.

Alice huffed, shifting in her seat dramatically. I could sense that she had reached the limit of her patience.

"Bella was absent too. I was sure that you guys ditched together. What were you doing here all day? I am so disappointed. I thought…well I thought. Edward, are you going to look at me?"

"Alice, leave Edward alone. It's clear that he doesn't want to talk about this…Bella," Esme said pointedly, ending the conversation.

She pushed her chair back determinedly and stood, beginning to gather dishes. I shrugged off her irritation. I hated to keep things from my mother, from my family – I just wasn't prepared to talk about Bella yet. As soon as I could, I took the opportunity to escape back to my room, marveling that I had survived the awkward dinner. For the moment, it appeared that I was safe.

*

I was stretched out on my bed in a tee shirt and cotton boxers, listening to music and trying to relax my body enough that sleep would come. But I just couldn't stop thinking of Bella and why she hadn't gone to school. I didn't even know how to get in contact with her. Did she have a cell phone? Did she even live at the little cabin where we had spent the most intimate night of my life? When would I see her again?

I closed my eyes and finally felt my body sink heavily into the mattress. "Edward?"

My eyes flashed open. "Bella?" I sat bolt upright and looked into the darkness. "Bella?" In my haze of sleepiness it was too easy to believe that I'd imagined it. I flopped limply back down on the bed. "Bella" – I called to her again with no words, yearning for her presence.

And then I heard it again – but like my plea there were no words spoken. "I'm coming Edward." This time I was completely awake and sat upright in my bed, positive that Bella was near.

I flicked on my bedside lamp, casting a dim amber glow in a small area around my bed. I heard a scratching at the window and snapped my head in that direction. I could just make out the silhouette of flowing mahogany hair and the moon's reflection on a triangle of luminous pale skin hovering outside of my window. Bella.

I'm here Edward. I couldn't stay away.

End Notes:

Sorry to leave it here. Bet you can't wait to see what Bella and Edward are going to do in his bedroom!?! Leave a review!