A/N: Hello, my wonderful readers! It's late, but I'm updating! I want to apologize for the relative crappiness of the previous chapter. I'll probably re-write it later on...this one is considerably better, though, so maybe it will make up for it a bit! So real quick I just want to answer a review:

Melt The Street: Thanks for saying such nice things about my story! So I definitely agree with you about the LJ dynamic not getting interesting until 7th year, but we're going to go through all the years anyways because this is not just about Lily and James--it's about everybody! Don't worry, I'll try not to drag the years out too long, and I'll keep it all interesting, and if you feel like things are not up to scratch, just let me know. I want to make the best story possible!

Also, just wanna clear up something--nobody called me out on it, but thought I would anyways. Lily's memories in the Pensieve. I figured that since James owned it, Lily had access to it too. Simple explanation. Also, yes, in my story, James made the Quidditch team as a first year. This is because James is a Chaser and Harry was the youngest Seeker in a century...looking back I probably would not have introduced Quidditch so soon, but it's live and learn, right? Besides, it's not really that big of a deal...but thank you to my awesome reviewers for keeping me honest! Anyways, I'll stop rambling--here's the chapter!

Chapter Five: Dungbombs and Slytherins

"Has anyone seen my Chocolate Frog card collection?" Peter was asking, searching underneath his four-poster. Nobody answered him; the chaos level in the boys' dormitory had reached an all-time high.

"And it's Potter, Potter with the Quaffle, speeding towards the goal!" James was yelling, wearing only his pajama bottoms and a Gryffindor scarf tied around his head and holding a balled up pair of socks in his hands. He jumped off his bed, landing close to the ground and then jumping up again to run a lap around the dormitory. "Dodges a bludger, fakes left, fakes left again, shoots, and—oops, sorry Sirius," he said after nailing his friend (who had been carelessly throwing everything in reach into his trunk, regardless of who it belonged to) in the face with his dirty socks.

"Oho! What's this? In the aftermath of a vicious and unprovoked attack, Black chases down Potter in a sudden disregard for the rules of Quidditch and pushes him off his broom!" Sirius shouted, chasing after James and pulling him down to the ground.

"And it's a foul! Penalty shot awarded to Potter!" said James, but Sirius did not let go.

"Well, look at that! The referee has re-considered and decided that Potter was in violation of the No Gross Dirty Laundry Allowed on the Quidditch Pitch amendment of 1971! Penalty shot awarded to Black!" Sirius jumped up and grabbed the socks, but James grabbed Sirius's leg, who almost tripped over.

"The referee re-re-considers, as Black is now in violation of the No Making Up Bull Crap During a Quidditch Game amendment of 1971! Penalty shot awarded to Potter!"

"The referee re-re-re-considers, and awards Black two penalty shots, because he is way better looking than Potter!" Sirius jumped out of James's grip and throws the socks into his own trunk and shutting it. "And the crowd goes wild!"

"No way, that's completely ridiculous!" James protested. "Need I re-direct your attention to the No Making Up Bull Crap During a Quidditch Game amendment of 1971?"

"Ah, but little Jamesiepoo, that's not bull crap, that's the truth!" Sirius said, now taking a victory lap around the dormitory.

"Ha! I'd still be better looking even if I'd had a Bat-Bogey Hex put on me right now!"

"You mean that's not the after-effects of the Bat-Bogey Hex?" said Sirius in mock surprise. "That's your real face? Ooh, that's not even funny anymore. Now I just feel bad for you."

"Shut up," said James, though he was laughing along with Sirius. "Remember whose house you're staying in for the next few weeks!"

The lock on the bathroom door clicked and Remus stepped out of it, towel-drying his hair.

"Seriously, guys? Your trunks are even emptier than they were when I left!"

"Will you settle something for us?" Sirius asked, ignoring Remus's jibe and not bothering to wait for an answer. "Who's better-looking, me or James?"

"Sorry, guys, neither of you are my type," said Remus, shaking his head and neatly stacking his textbooks in his trunk.

"Oh, is that so, Lupin?" said Sirius in dramatic tones. "Because I'll have you know that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you!"

Remus laughed loudly.

"If by 'best' you mean 'most irritating,' then yes. Where's my Transfiguration book?"

"You know you love us," said James, ignoring Remus's question and batting his eyelashes.

"What is on your head?" Remus asked, facing James for the first time and rolling his eyes.

"It's super hot," James told him, tossing his hair back. Remus rolled his eyes again and picked his Transfiguration book up from under his bed.

"While all this attention is flattering, you both should know that I'm taken," said Remus casually, shutting his trunk and sitting on his bed.

"Oh? Who's the lucky lady?" asked James.

"Peter," replied Remus simply.

"What? Ow!" shouted Peter, accompanied by a loud thump that was his head on the underside of his bed. The three other boys laughed.

"You two are especially off the wall tonight," Remus observed as James jumped up and down on his bed. "I suppose this has nothing to do with the four treacle tarts you two downed at dinner tonight…"

"Tomorrow's the first day of the holidays!" James exclaimed. "No homework, no teachers, no classes, no Snivellus, and, best of all, presents!"

"I do not envy your mother on Christmas morning," said Remus, shaking his head. "You and Sirius on sugar high after getting gifts…"

"Well, you're welcome to come and visit!" James said, slightly out of breath from all the jumping. "Peter, too. My parents won't mind!"

"We'll see," said Remus warily, looking as though the only way he would consider coming to the Potters for Christmas was with a helmet.

"Seriously, guys, where is my Chocolate Frog card collection?" asked Peter.

"Have you checked your trunk?" asked Sirius.

"Of course I've checked my trunk! What do you think—oh, it's right here."

"Whoa, James, what's this?" Sirius pulled a long, silvery cloak from James's trunk. James's smile broadened, and Remus's jaw dropped.

"Is that what I think it is?" he gasped, touching the silky fabric in Sirius's hands. James took the cloak and wrapped it around himself so all but his head disappeared. Peter squealed and fell off his bed, while Sirius and Remus stared at James in awe.

"Is it real?" asked Remus breathlessly, and James nodded. "Where did you get a true Invisibility Cloak? Those cost hundreds of thousands of Galleons…"

"It's been in my family for ages," James explained, throwing the cloak up over his head so he was entirely invisible. "Dad gave it to me just before I started Hogwarts."

"You kept that quiet!" Sirius said indignantly, looking around wildly for his friend.

"Well, I thought I'd save it for a special occasion," said James's voice. "Like tonight." Sirius, Remus, and Peter all looked eager, and James's bodiless voice continued. "We'd better make sure the Slytherins don't forget us over the holidays, don't you agree?"

"Oh, yeah," said Sirius. "What did you have in mind?"

"Just thought we could spread a little Gryffindor pride," smirked James as he lowered the Invisibility Cloak. But before James could explain exactly what he had in mind, the dormitory dissolved, replaced by a dark, empty corridor.

Or, at least, Harry thought it was empty.

"I'm hungry."

"Shut it, Peter."

"Ouch!"

"James, you're stepping on my toes."

"Well, watch where you're putting them!"

"Sirius, are you sure this is right?"

"Of course I'm sure. I've heard my parents bang on about Slytherin for eleven years, haven't I?"

"SHH! Someone's coming!"

The four invisible Gryffindors immediately fell silent as footsteps echoed through the dungeon. James, Sirius, Peter, Remus, and Harry soon found that they belonged to two Slytherins, both of whom were considerably older than the first years.

"—spending my holiday in France," the all-too-familiar voice of Bellatrix Black was saying casually. As the pair stepped into the dim torchlight, Harry saw that her arm was slung around the waist of a mean-looking boy much older than she was. "Father is taking the whole family, as a special treat. He just got promoted, you see. Obviously, Sirius, my reject of a cousin, won't be going. I'll bet he's staying here with all the other pathetic losers and orphans." She laughed loudly, her shrill voice echoing through the dungeons.

"I don't know how I'm going to last without you, Bella," said the boy, kissing her full on the mouth. Harry heard one of the concealed Gryffindors (Harry guessed it was Sirius) gag, but the two were so intent on each other that they did not notice. The finally pulled apart, both a little out of breath.

"Once I'm done with you tonight, Rudolphus, you're gonna have plenty to think about," said Bellatrix in a low, suggestive voice, and Harry felt himself gag as well. This had to be one of the most disturbing conversations he had ever heard—watching the fourteen-year-old version of Sirius's murderer talk like that to her much older boyfriend was enough to make him want to puke and hex something. "Can you make sure your dormitory is empty?" Bellatrix asked.

"Yeah," said Rudolphus. "Meet you up there in ten minutes."

They continued down the hallway and stopped in front of a blank stretch of wall.

"Salazar," said Bellatrix, and the wall slid open. Harry and the rest of the boys snuck in behind them, and followed Rudolphus up the stairs to the boys' dormitories. They stopped on the first landing, where a sign reading "First Years" hung over the door. Harry and the others silently cracked open the door, hardly daring to breathe and cringing as the hinges creaked slightly.

All the hangings on the four-poster beds were drawn, and the snores of the Slytherin boys filled the room. James pulled the Invisibility Cloak off of all of them, and all four boys pulled out their wands.

James pulled out two dungbombs and muttered, "Locomotor dungbombs." The dungbombs rose into the air in front of him, and with his wand, he directed the dungbombs in front of Remus, who muttered, "Incendio." A flame erupted from the tip of his wand, and he lit each dungbomb carefully before quickly extinguishing his wand. James threw the cloak over all four of them again and forced the dungbombs to float into the Slytherin dormitory.

Then, many things happened in a very short amount of time. There was a BANG, and the dungbombs exploded, and almost instantly the smell of dung permeated the room. Harry heard loud, angry voices inside of the dormitory, followed by the wrenching back of the hangings on four-poster beds, and stifled giggles from the invisible Gryffindors.

The door was thrown open, and one of the Gryffindors said, "OUCH!" as the door hit him. Snape whirled around.

"Who's there?" he demanded.

"Severus, who're you talking to?" shouted a voice from inside the dormitory. There were uneven footsteps and two other Slytherins stumbled out of the room.

"There's someone here! Lumos!" Snape scanned the landing now drenched in wandlight, but there was nobody to see.

"Get out of the way," said another Slytherin, pushing Snape aside and hurrying down the stairs to the Common Room. The other followed. Snape didn't move for a few minutes, and continued to search for the invisible perpetrators.

Suddenly, Harry felt himself being tugged down the stairs. He was taken by surprise, and would have tripped had be been solid, but instead merely floated through the steps. The Gryffindors must have moved into the Common Room.

Harry couldn't see them. All he could see were the other two Slytherin boys, spluttering and swearing at the top of their voices. A door slammed somewhere up the dormitory, and a few moments later, Lucius Malfoy and another boy Harry didn't recognize had descended the steps, Snape on their heels.

"What is going on?" the boy Harry didn't recognize hissed.

"Some prat let off a dungbomb in our dormitory!" exclaimed one of the Slytherins. "Or did you miss the smell?"

"Avery, shut up," said Lucius Malfoy. "Are you trying to wake the whole House?"

"Yeah, but someone let off a dungbomb in our dormitory!" Avery told him.

"And what are we supposed to do about that?" asked Malfoy's friend, stifling a yawn.

"Um, fix it, Parkinson!" said the other Slytherin.

"Help us find who did it," said Snape.

"Everyone's in their beds," said Parkinson flatly. "Nobody's door was open when we came down here."

"Check the girls, then!" Snape told him.

"You had all better show us a bit more respect or we might decide to give you all detention," Malfoy snapped.

"Fine. Will you please check the girls?" said Snape, forcing calm.

"Stefan, go check," Malfoy told Parkinson. Parkinson went to the entryway of the girls' dormitory and called up, "OI! BLACK! BLACK!" He banged on the wall with his hand. "BLACK!"

Harry heard muffled voices and footsteps from up the stairs.

"What?"

Three half-asleep girls were standing on the landing; one beautiful with dark hair and heavy-lidded eyes—Bellatrix, one taller, older and paler, with white-blond hair and a long face—this was unmistakably Narcissa Malfoy, and the other, who was both pale and dark-haired, with light eyes. Harry did not recognize her.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Bellatrix snarled. "It's the middle of the fucking night!"

"Save it," Parkinson told her. "Go back to bed. You too, Narcissa. We were looking for Andromeda." Narcissa turned and retreated up the stairs silently, but Bellatrix continued to grumble all the way, no doubt frustrated that she was being denied the opportunity to scream at Malfoy and Parkinson for waking her up.

"What is it?" asked the other girl—Andromeda, Harry remembered.

"Someone set off a dungbomb in the first-year boys' dormitory," said Malfoy. "And they won't go back to sleep until we help them find out who did it. Are any of the girls out of bed?"

"No," yawned Andromeda. "Well, Bellatrix was trying to sneak out a few minutes ago, but Magdalena Gardovi caught her and threatened to give her a detention if she didn't go right back to bed."

"There, happy?" said Parkinson. "Now, I'm going back to bed."

"There was someone on the landing!" said Snape. "When I opened the door, I felt it hit them, and they made a noise."

"Did you see them?" asked Andromeda.

"No."

"Snape, it was probably just someone's cat," said Andromeda. "It's late, you're all going home for the holidays tomorrow…just sleep in the Common Room tonight."

"But someone was there! On the landing!" Snape protested as Andromeda made her way back towards the girls' dormitories.

"Snape, let's go over your story, shall we?" said Parkinson impatiently. "You claim that invisible people on the landing put dungbombs in your dormitory?"

"Er…well…I don't know if they were invisible, I just couldn't see them!"

"You were probably dreaming," said Malfoy shortly. "Go to sleep."

"But—"

"Nobody cares, Snape," snapped Parkinson.

"And if any of you wake us up one more time, I'll hex you all," Malfoy added. The older students went back to their respective dormitories, leaving the first years alone.

"There was someone there, I'm sure of it," said Snape stubbornly.

"Like Parkinson said, nobody cares," Avery replied, plopping down in an armchair by the dying fire. "I'm going to sleep." The other Slytherin first year followed suit, and Snape, left with nobody to argue with, had no choice but to sit in one of the chairs and close his eyes.

Minutes passed, and nothing happened. The breathing of Avery, Snape, and the other Slytherin became more and more rhythmic, and the embers in the fire withered away and became nothing. Just when Harry was wondering if James had fallen asleep, he heard Sirius whispering, "Are they sleeping?"

"I think so," said Remus's voice quietly.

"Let's get out of here before we're stuck here all night," said James, and Harry heard their soft footsteps across the carpet, and the swish of the stone wall as the Gryffindors exited the Slytherin Common Room.

A/N: Oh, look another author's note! I just want to thank all my awesome reviewers: DistractedButSerious, falafel90, deisegirl, Jessluvsharry, kittyatza, hanak95, -EHWIES, Kira2667, the sudoku kid, FallingForFootie, Ms. Estella Black, EatenByFlowersAndStillLaughing, Anonymous, reyne, Vivsheryl, XsinglovelivedanceX, Somi-chan, words behind my eyelids, prongster, and melt the street. You guys are super amazing and encouraging and give really good feedback! Thanks so much! Again! But, alas, my need for reviews rivals Bellatrix's sex drive, and so don't forget to click that little button and tell me what's on your mind!

-Dem