Dear Diary OR Hogwarts' Romeo & Juliet

by Raekitty13

Disclaimer: J.K. Made Draco the Antagonist, I, on the other had, have made him the Protagonist. You do the math- Do J.K. And I add up? Didn't think so!

Author's Notes: Wee I .heart. Summer! FINALLY warm weather & laziness!! A special shout out to my best friend, for all of her outstanding ideas and unwavering support and to the following reviewers: MatoakaWilde, Kittyatza and Burg gurl thank you ever so much guys!

Chapter Seven:

Dear Diary,

You will not believe what I just heard! Guess who was making out with WHO the other night! Okay, so I was out last night, after hours and what not, but I was going to meet Terry Boot. He's a really cute guy from Ravenclaw. He was flirting with me the other day in herbology and it seemed to make Ron jealous, so I decided to follow up on it. So, anyway I was going to meet him, when I ran into Luna and we stood there talking for a while. Apparently she was meeting someone too, but she wouldn't tell me who. She said it was a secret. She's so weird!

So, after a while, I left her to go meet Terry. I passed Draco a while back and thought nothing of it. Stupid git would probably tell on me. Shortly after that, I felt as if someone was following me. I purposely passed by the girl's restroom, using the puddle on the floor (Myrtle must've been in there) instinctively to see who it was. Believe it or not, Draco seemed to be back tracking. He was muttering about how something was "damn near impossible to find". I shrugged it off, even though, by that point, I was feeling just as frustrated. It was almost impossible to find Terry's hiding spot. Which, could work out to his advantage later, if my plan works. I'm sure Ron's wrath matches Molly's.

But that's not important right now! Gosh, I'm so jittery I bet my handwriting looks silly! It probably sounds stupid, but I can't figure out why I'm so flustered! I can't determine if I'm just surprised, hurt, angry or just bubbly OR who the heck I should put the blame on for these odd feelings! Draco or Terry? God, if only I could have an emotional range of a teaspoon right about now... Ron... Oh for Heaven's sake!!

It'd probably be best if I didn't keep getting side tracked... but if I don't get side tracked I forget to breathe and my handwriting gets all messy. I can't stand messy... maybe I do have OCD, but that's for another diary entry... right now I need to sort all of this out.

Okay, so, I finally found Terry and we did a bit of making out, but we didn't get far or anything. Harry said it wasn't even considered "snogging" so it was nothing to worry Ron about (oh well, guess I'll just have to try again with Terry and get a bit further. Tee hee ; ). His mouth was so tender against mine. At first I was a little disappointed, Ronald wouldn't be my first kiss, and then I realized that it would probably be better if I got a bit of practice in, I mean, it couldn't hurt, could it? But as I mentioned, we didn't get very far.

The reasoning behind it wasn't even because I was thinking of Ron while kissing Terry and rather dirty in doing so. Nope. The reason wasn't even because he could read my mind and feel how dirty I was beneath his soft, wet lips (my first kiss!!). Or because at the time I was thinking, 'God, are you supposed to feel this guilty during your first kiss? I mean I know you're not supposed to be thinking of other guys but... seriously, have I taken this too far?' (It was about then that I realized that all guys I found attractive, whether it was Ronald or Terry or even... no. Whether it was Ronald or Terry, I acted differently around then than I did when I was with Harry. Thankfully, Harry is almost always around when I'm with Ronald though and he buffers out all my negative "must-fight-or-lose-to-helpless-mind-wondering-OCD/bubbly-girly-head-over-heels" syndrome.) We were interrupted by two very closely entangled bodies trying to squeeze into OUR make out hiding spot.

It was kinda creepy and at first I didn't even realize who it was. After a couple of tries to squeeze in ( I swear, they didn't even LOOK first they were so GLUED together) they realized (maybe it was the lack of oxygen from not ever unlocking their lips that made them react so slow... or maybe they were rubbing off on each other- er personality wise) that they wouldn't fit unless they let go of the other long enough to breathe. They decided not to split up and decided instead to make like a banana and split together to the next hottest, unoccupied Ravenclaw/Slytherin make out spot was, because I swear, that's all Terry and I could tell of them until we'd stepped from behind the statue of Uric the Oddball (shhh don't give away our spot, we might use it tomorrow night). And believe me when I tell you that both Terry and I almost DIED right then and there. Have you guessed who was making out with whom yet? Holy Cricket, it was Draco Malfoy and Luna Lovegood.

I TOLD you that you weren't go to believe me when I told you who I saw making out with who!

But, no that the cat is out of the bag, so to speak, I need to sort out these feelings, so bear with me here, diary. Okay, first I'll list all the reasons for feeling one emotion and then continue until I have all the emtions mapped out, it should work, right? Guess trying won't hurt, after all, it's not like this is homework that I have to turn in or show anybody. Okay, here goes nothing. I don't care if I'm wrong. I don't care if I'm wrong.

Nobody can actually tell me I'm wrong. These are MY emotions so... I can't be wrong. I've just got to let my heart do the work, not my head. My head can do the analyzing after my heart has sorted it all out properly. Let's see the emotions I stated feeling were... frustrated, surprised, hurt, angry and bubbly. Okay.

Frustrated:

1. I couldn't find Terry

2. Luna was meeting up with someone and wouldn't tell me who

3. It wasn't Ronald I was sharing my first kiss with

4. For thinking of Ron while kissing Terry

Surprised:

1. Draco was wondering around and I happened to bump into him more than once this evening after curfew

2. Even though I wasn't kissing Ron, my first kiss was amazing (Terry is a really good Kisser)

3. Draco and Luna were making out!!

4. Draco and Luna were trying to make out where Terry and I were trying to make out

5. Draco and Luna were really into their making out

Hurt:

1. Luna wouldn't tell me who she was sneaking out to see (don't ask why... I just figured Luna of all people might find me trustworthy, guess not)

2. My first kiss wasn't with Ronald

3. Draco and Luna were making out ... (how could she have left me so far out of the loop?)

4. Draco and Luna were trying to make out where Terry and I were trying to make out

5. Draco and Luna were really into their making out (why couldn't Ron and I be that way?)

Angry:

1. Draco and Luna were making out (since when does Draco make out with someone other than Pansy? Has he ALWAYS been a "player"?)

2. Draco and Luna were trying to make out where Terry and I were trying to make out (hello! We were there first!)

3. Draco and Luna interrupted me and Terry

4. Draco and Luna were really into their making out

5. Ron and I can't go around making out like Draco and Luna (because Ron is too bull headed to just admit that he likes me)

6. I've lied about my "reasons for feeling hurt list" (my explanation for number three isn't entirely true)

Bubbly:

1. I ran into Draco more than twice this evening (ha! Not lying anymore)

2. My first kiss!! (Bet'cha thought I shared that with Victor. Not a chance... I think Ron would've kissed him before me)

Okay... now to sit back and look at this. Great. You know what... I can just scrap this and try again, honestly it didn't really add up. All I've got is three possible crushes, one maybe-boyfriend and a ton of emotions that all contradict each other... how can I like three guys at once?

How can I like ... no. You know what. I don't like him. Really I don't. Just because I've realized that I've never actually hated him doesn't mean that I like him. I get surprised and my heart skips a beat when he comes around the corner because he scares me. Yes, that explains it all.

It adds up a bit better that way. Sadly to say, I'm not all that sure I really like Terry either. I mean, yes, he is good looking, very nice, a great kisser (not that I have much to go on here) and not too shabby when it comes to intelligence, but he just isn't Ronald.

Well, now it all adds up. I have one guy I'm terrified of, one guy I really, really, like (maybe even love), and one guy I'm just using to make that one guy I'm terrified of and the guy I really, really like jealous. Yes, sounds about right. Wait. I am so not trying to make Draco Malfoy jealous.

If anything he's trying to make me jealous by making out with Luna! I mean he was trying to make out in the same EXACT spot that I was busy making out in, with Terry of course, not Draco. Maybe Draco likes me.

Wow, down Hermione, down. That's just scary. I think I've over analyzed enough for one night. There is no way that Draco Malfoy likes me. I'm a Mud-Blood in his eyes. He doesn't like me.

I think I may need to repeat that several times before I go to bed. That kind of thought could lead a girl into rough waters.

Good Night,

With Love,

HJG