A/N:

My beta, ms. ambrosia, has been so busy lately, but she still always makes time for me! Thank you so much baby!

Many of you have told me that I am beginning to change your Jacob-hating ways. Though this is primarily a Bella/Edward tale, I do love breaking down barriers and making you guys see things in a new way.

This chapter is a little lemony. Hope you guys enjoy!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own my own little twist on the story.

Chapter 24

I couldn't find an adequate distraction. The entire time Bella was in Alice's room I paced, my eyes continually fixed on the closed door. It didn't help that Bella occasionally threw a few thoughts, a few words, even some images my way. Some of the images were random – Alice's worried face, the fringe on the edge of a pillow on Alice's bed – but other thoughts were specifically directed at me.

When Bella told Alice that she loved me, she said the words in her mind first. I love you, Edward. I love him. I love him. And later, I'd die for you. I'd die for him, Alice. And then she'd shown me Alice's pale face again and repeated Alice's question in her mind for me to hear. But Bella…aren't you already dead?

There wasn't much more after that. I drew bits and pieces of Bella's continual reassurances, promises, and pleas from her mind. And she shared with me Alice's confusion, her shock and many fears, and then finally, her acceptance.

When the door creaked open and Bella finally emerged, her eyes instantly finding mine, I felt minutely better about the situation. And yet, with Bella looking down at me seductively in her black, leather, skin-tight pants and a bohemian red-velvet top that looked somewhere between a corset and a pirate's shirt, I chose not to care. The only thing that mattered was that she was here and I could no longer fight the near desperate urge to hold her in my arms and feel her cold breath on my neck.

I scaled the stairs, briefly noticing Alice slipping into Emmett's room as I pulled Bella's hand into mine and intertwined my fingers with hers. I could hardly contain my body's reaction even to this small bit of contact with her skin. The energy that surged between us was never more intense, never more heated, than at this moment as we walked down the hallway to my room.

When I closed the door behind us, meaningfully twisting the lock into place, the last thing that I wanted to do was to dredge up all my fears from earlier, or to talk about what happened with Charlotte, but I could see in her eyes that she needed to say something. I could never deny her; so I sat on the edge of my bed and waited for her beautiful voice to fill the silence of the room. I watched her intently as she allowed her façade of strength to fall away and all at once, I could see her vulnerability as never before.

She fell on her knees next to me, dropping her head in my lap. Edward. Oh, Edward.

"I could have lost you," she moaned in an anguished voice. "I can't believe I've put you in this kind of danger." I'm so stupid. I don't know why I ever believed I deserved you.

"Bella, stop…you…you can't talk to me like that!" I said emphatically. I had no doubts that we were meant to be together and I wouldn't allow her to give up on us. "We deserve each other," I said, lifting her head and palming her cheek in my hand. I hoped she could see the depth of the love in my gaze. I leaned down and placed my lips on hers, filling my kiss with all my devotion for her.

"I feel like I've messed everything up. I've put you in horrible danger…and now that both Emmett and Alice know…I've gotten your whole family involved in this mess. I just wish…I wish…"

"What? What do you wish?"

"I just wish I knew what I was doing!" she spat exasperatedly, putting her hands and her head and shaking it frantically from side to side. I'm trying. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm so stupid.

"What – what are you trying to figure out, Bella? What is it?" I begged, wishing that I could ease her mind. I reached out to pull her hands away from her head, tangling them with mine and put them in my lap.

"It's just…I've been travelling…when you're at school. I go farther and farther each day. That is why Charlotte came here. I accidentally drew her here. I ran into Peter and I think he sent her here to find me. I didn't know she'd come!" she said hysterically, as if I might challenge her statement.

"I know, Bella. Of course you didn't know she'd come here," I said, trying to calm her. I had never seen her so upset, so utterly distressed, and it frightened me for more than one reason.

I swear it didn't cross my mind that they would follow me back here. She was begging for me to believe her. I sensed the extreme guilt she felt for what happened to me; and regretfully, there was probably nothing I could say or do to ease her conscience. So I just kept touching her, running my fingers over the skin of her long neck, along her scalp and through the silky strands of her hair.

I had to ask her the one question that kept working its way back into my mind, the one nagging concern that, whether or not I'd like her response, I had to know the answer to. "Bella, why have you been leaving every day? It wasn't even sunny today…and…well…why didn't you come to school?"

"I had to do some things. I needed to find someone," she answered with expected elusiveness.

"Who?" I asked, my mind swirling with the possibilities – another lover, a vampire, her father… The more I thought about it without an answer, the more jealous and angry I became.

I can't tell you exactly. She thought the simple words, but her mind betrayed her for a moment and I saw a series of images in my mind – all of vampires – her friend Peter, the red-haired vampire, Victoria, and a tall vampire with long, black hair. Before I could read more of her thoughts, they stopped abruptly and I looked up into her panicked eyes. She realized what she'd unintentionally shown me.

She sat on the bed next to me and put her head on my shoulder. It was such a soft gesture, so human, and so delicate that it took my breath away. All I wanted was to comfort her, to love her, to hold her forever.

Her small voice in my ear sent a string of shivers down my spine. "I just can't tell you everything right now, okay? Not until I have it all figured out. I need more time."

"Are you going to leave again?" I whispered. I tensed, waiting for her answer.

"I have to." But I promise to come back. I will always come back to you.

"I feel lost without you. I need to be with you all the time," I admitted, a hot tear sliding down my cheek. I leaned toward her, my forehead touching hers.

I'm lost without you too.

"Will you be here tomorrow…for the picnic? Alice…wants you there. I want you there," I declared.

She captured my mouth with hers, playfully tugging on my bottom lip with her teeth, almost as if she were distracting me from her answer. "I have to go farther, Edward. It will take longer than a day trip." I heard just a whisper of the thoughts she was trying to shield from me. I have to find her.

I debated in my mind if I should ask Bella who it was she was searching for, but decided not to let her know I'd plucked the information from her unwittingly. I knew that she wouldn't tell me anything anyway. If she had wanted to, she would have explained it all already. At least I had gleaned from her mind that she wasn't looking for a man, somewhat diminishing the jealous feelings I was beginning to harbor.

So, instead of asking who this mystery woman was, I asked, "How long will you be away?" I couldn't hide the sorrow in my tone. She was leaving. Didn't she know how hard this was going to be? And yet, I could make no demands on her, a notion that left me feeling even more frustrated.

"You can't do this!" I demanded weakly, knowing that I had no rational argument, driven solely by my aching heart. "Please, don't do this," I begged.

"I promise not to be away long. And I will come back…to you."

I was going to make her reassure me further when someone rattled the locked doorknob, followed by a loud series of knocks. "Dude, Mom and Dad are going out to dinner alone tonight. We're ordering pizza. Whatcha want on top?" Emmett yelled through the door. I reluctantly stood, turning back to gaze at Bella with the panicked thought that she might disappear if I tore my eyes from her, and opened the door.

"Hey Bella!" Emmett roared at her enthusiastically. "I heard you were here," he added.

"Hi Emmett," Bella responded, not quite as boisterously.

Emmett's shoulders slumped a little and he got the pouty, manipulative look on his face that he usually reserved for his girlfriends. Emmett could look intimidating, but with his lips curled and eyes wide, he really looked as harmless as he truly was. I couldn't resist chuckling at the expression, as I wondered why he was directing it at Bella.

"Bella, Alice told me that you did the knife trick thing for her. Um…why didn't I get to see it? I mean, I like knives and blood is cool and well Alice said it was really freaky. I just…would you show me?" he asked, anxious for Bella's answer.

Bella seemed frustrated by Emmett's question and reluctant to do whatever this knife trick was. She placed her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes while she considered it. I was actually pretty curious myself, because I didn't see or hear anything about a knife when I was listening to Bella's conversation with Alice earlier.

Bella turned to me, her face questioning, reminding me of a child looking for permission to do something naughty. "Edward?" she asked.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully.

"Could you guys think about it at least?" Emmett asked, shifting impatiently from one foot to the other. He never could stand still for longer than a few seconds at a time. "I'm going downstairs to order the pizza. Pepperoni okay?" Emmett shouted the question over his shoulder as he started galloping down the stairs, not waiting for my answer.

Bella stepped through the doorway after Emmett, holding her hand out for me. It was dark downstairs, all the lights off except in the kitchen. I could hear Emmett's booming voice on the phone ordering our pizza and felt sorry for the person on the other side whose ears were probably ringing.

I noticed Alice as soon as we entered the kitchen, her eyes darting up at us nervously. She had obviously been doing her homework; papers and books were spread out on the kitchen counter in front of her. But now her eyes were fixed on Bella. She was actually so stunned by Bella that she wasn't flitting around or babbling like usual, but was silent and waiting. I saw the hint of fear in her eyes, but there was also awe, as if aptly aware that she was in the presence of someone supernatural.

It felt like a standoff. Emmett put down the phone and we all stood, fixed, not making a sound. I could feel my heart beating and realized that Bella was thinking of it as well, part of her mind consciously taking note of its steady, even rhythm. I tried to think of something to say to cut through the tension when Alice leapt to her feet and flung herself at Bella, wrapping her arms tightly around Bella's waist.

"I don't care what you are. You're my friend. I trust you Bella," she said, her words muffled by Bella's shirt. I could see Bella slightly recoil before her arms slid around Alice, returning her hug. I felt her thirst pool under her tongue, somehow tasting the familiar tangy spiciness of venom in my own mouth.

"Thank you Alice," Bella replied, while trying not to inhale. "I will never hurt you…any of you," she said, her eyes landing on Emmett and then back to me.

"How about that knife trick now?" Emmett asked, rubbing his hands together as if anticipating something spectacular.

Bella turned to me as though she needed to explain her behavior. "After I explained everything to Alice, she was worried that I wasn't strong enough to protect you. I had to show her that I was. I saw the Swiss Army Knife on her dresser and…well, I'll show you," she said as she pulled a butcher knife out of the knife block and held it above her arm. Her gaze circled the room to ensure that she'd captured our attention.

My heart beat accelerated when I realized what she was going to do. My eyes were on the sharp edge of the wide knife, Bella's distorted image reflected on the plane the stainless blade. Emmett leaned in eagerly while Alice put her hand over her eyes. I stood stock still, my body paralyzed in shock.

It seemed like minutes passed while the blade hovered above her skin. At the last minute, she turned to me. "If I break the blade, I'll buy you guys another knife." An image forced its way into my mind and I saw Bella trying to pierce her skin with Alice's little Swiss Army Knife, but the flimsy blade snapped off before penetrating her hard skin.

My focus returned to the present just as Bella pressed the tip of the long knife against what was once the soft, tender flesh on the inside of her forearm. I could see the blade flex against her unyielding skin, the tip scraping across the surface, rather than breaking through her skin. Bella shifted her weight, placing her arm on the counter for leverage and heaving her shoulders in an effort to break through.

I could see the strain in her back, the muscles in her arm taut and contracted as she put the force of her whole body behind the knife. Slowly, the tip disappeared under her skin and eased deeper and deeper into her arm until a solid inch was below the surface. She lifted her arm off the counter, the knife still imbedded, and then with a sturdy jerk, she yanked it out.

Blood was smeared across the blade, a solitary bead dropping on the floor, which only hours earlier, was soiled with Jacob's blood. My eyes flew to her arm where a line of blood was beginning to form, spilling from the pierced flesh. The blood pooled before it streamed downward toward her hand, splattering dramatically as it dripped off her fingers.

I watched the show with fascination, the flow of her brilliant, red blood down her arm mesmerizing in its repugnant gruesomeness. And yet, it was beautiful, natural, and fascinating. Unlike Emmett and I, who continued to watch the viscous liquid seep out of Bella's arm, Alice sprang forward with the kitchen towel in her hand and pressed it to the wound to stem the flow.

"Alice, don't worry," Bella said calmly, as Alice held the towel to Bella's arm, her small fingers wrapped tightly around Bella's outstretched arm. "Watch," she said as she pulled away the once white towel, now saturated with her blood. The deep cut had transformed into a simple, tiny scratch, which faded back to a pale white before our eyes. Bella pushed against the spot on her arm to prove that she was entirely heeled. "See?"

"Right after I was turned I was running through the desert and I didn't see a cliff up ahead before I shot right off of it. I must have fallen 200 feet or so to the valley below. When I hit the ground I landed on a boulder with sharp, jagged edges. I didn't feel any pain, but I noticed that my leg was twisted at a weird angle and my foot…well, it was almost completely torn from my body." I gasped, not wanting to imagine Bella hurt in any way. She reached out and tucked herself into the side of my body, her arm slipping around my waist.

"I panicked, not knowing if I could save my foot, or if I might bleed to death. I knew nothing about being a vampire and anything I did know I learned from personal experience. I squished my foot back in place and held it there for a while. Eventually, I tore a piece of my shirt into a long strip and bound my foot back to my leg. By the time the sun went down my foot felt completely normal and I jumped up to run hundreds of more miles that night."

"..," Emmett stated, his mouth hanging open in wonder and admiration.

"I guess…but I would trade anything to be human again…and for things to be the way they were before," Bella admitted, her heavy words twisting uneasily in my mind. Fate had brought us together and despite the difficulties of our relationship, I wouldn't change anything. I had to wonder if our connection would have been so profound, so undeniable, if we had both been human when we met.

Emmett was still looking at Bella's arm, rotating it back and forth in his huge hands as if he could figure out how she'd performed her magic trick, when the delivery guy rang our doorbell.

When Emmett swung open the top of the pizza box, and the scent of melted cheese and tomato sauce filled the air, I realized that I was nearly starving. The extreme trauma of the day made me ravenous and I ate my two slices of pizza quickly. Bella sat next to me at the counter, watching me with interest and I lamented that we couldn't share the experience of eating together. I wondered when she last had eaten, what kind of animal she'd hunted.

As soon as I was finished I nodded toward my room and we immediately headed up. I didn't spare a thought for my siblings or the dirty dishes I left on the counter. My only thought was to spend as much time holding Bella as I could before she left again. If I could keep her from ever leaving I would. But I knew that I had to let her go.

We were settled on our backs, side-by-side on my bed, our arms touching, our fingers laced together. I felt tingling all along the length of my body, but resisted turning toward her, reveling in the anticipation of her touch. Bella's thoughts drew me to her and I turned my head on the pillow to look directly into her amber-colored eyes. She didn't speak aloud, but she didn't have to.

"Edward, I need you. Please." Having her beg for me from inside my mind was an incredibly powerful feeling. I knew what she wanted. I knew how to please her. Having the ability to hear her thoughts had never been more enticing, or more useful.

"Are you sure, Bella?" I asked, hoping that I could stop if that is what she needed.

"Yes, Edward. I'm stronger than I thought," she said with certainty. "I'm getting used to your scent."

"I trust you, Bella. You won't hurt me."

I pushed into her lips more roughly, finally letting go and showing her all the passion that had been building up inside of me. When I didn't feel any resistance I tugged on her bottom lip with my teeth. I urgently but tenderly sucked at her mouth, begging for deeper entrance. Her lips met mine with equal fervor while her hands dipped under my shirt, her fingers grazing the skin of my lower back.

As I continued to suck on the fleshy part of her bottom lip feelings and images from Bella's mind began to overwhelm all my conscious thoughts, driving me into an even more heated level of passion. I thrust my tongue into her mouth and she responded by shoving me gently but forcefully backwards until my knees hit the bed. She pushed me down flat onto my back and hovered over me. My heart was beating thunderously in my chest while Bella was so still that I realized for the first time that she wasn't even breathing.

"Edward," she said aloud in an uncertain, unfamiliar voice, "I've never been this way with anyone before…I've never done this." Her face was anxious and vulnerable and I was reminded of our night in the cabin. She had seemed so fragile then that I had wanted more than anything just to take care of her forever. The energy of the moment shifted and I reached up for her hand, pulling her down to lay next to me.

"Can I see you, Edward? All of you?"

I heard her request in my mind and turned to look in her eyes and nodded before using my arms to push myself up to a standing position. Bella sat up too and slid gracefully to the edge of my bed, her legs tucked underneath her body. My hands were trembling and my breaths were coming in fast and heavy. Encouraged by the lust I saw reflected in Bella's eyes, I grabbed the bottom of my t-shirt and lifted it over my head.

Though I was confident in my physical appearance, I had never opened myself so completely to anyone before. But I would give Bella anything she wanted. I should have felt exposed but I didn't. Everything with Bella felt right.

I didn't hesitate for another second but shoved my boxers down my legs and stepped out of them. I stood before Bella, watching as her eyes roamed over my body. She didn't need to voice her appreciation - she thought it. I sensed that she seemed equal parts excited and intrigued by what she saw.

Her tongue flitted out and she ran it over her lips, moistening them seductively. I felt my erection throb automatically in response and I closed my eyes to help reign in my growing need for release. This moment was not just about me and my needs. I couldn't push Bella too far.

"Come lay with me," Bella purred and I complied, sinking down onto the bed next to her. She reached over tentatively and placed her hand on my stomach, narrowly missing the tip of my very excited penis. Her inhumanly cool hand felt incredible against my flushed skin as she ran it slowly up toward my chest. She circled my nipples and they immediately perked up at her ministrations.

Just having her hands on me was pure ecstasy. I couldn't remember ever feeling so aroused, so uninhibited around another. As her hand caressed my body I closed my eyes and fully surrendered to the sensation. Her hands were magical and transported me to a place I had never been before. I felt whole and complete, as though she were a part of me that had always been missing. And I would never again feel complete without her.

Her hand started to move down toward my thigh and I couldn't help opening my eyes. I watched her as she rotated her body so that she was hovering over me. Her thick hair fell in an elegant curtain over my chest and I ran my fingers through it. It was soft and remarkably human feeling. She leaned in closer and I thought that she was going to kiss me. Before I registered what she was doing she spoke without talking, "Edward, I need to taste your skin," and she licked a swath across my chest.

I thought her fingers were heavenly but having her tongue on my skin was even more of an amazing feeling. Every lick sent me into a deeper state of rapture. I began to writhe and moan uncontrollably. "Oooh, Bella. It feels incredible," I groaned, my words inadequately describing the affect that Bella was having on me. I was just beginning to feel like my level of arousal was at a point of imminent release when her tongue flicked out and licked the underside of my cock, from the base to the tip. When she got to the top she wrapped her lips around the head and sucked.

She caught my gaze, looking up at me through her incredibly long, dark lashes. I could tell by the nervous look in her eyes that she was measuring my reaction to determine how hard she could wrap her lips around me or how intensely she could pull on my tender flesh. Her tongue was exquisite and I was so overcome by the incredible sensation that I couldn't consciously communicate with her. I hoped that my body's response was enough to let her know that what she was doing was exactly right.

Several guttural moans fell from my mouth involuntarily as I writhed against her, my hips lifting. Her fingers caressed my thighs as her luscious lips continued to slip down and back up my erection in a perfectly choreographed motion, stimulating me like I'd never felt before. I was in ecstasy, my body and mind completely in sync; Bella's mouth and her hands driving me to such a heightened state of arousal that I knew that it wouldn't be long before I would explode.

I couldn't contain my hands and they reached out for her, my fingers tangling in her hair. Knowing I couldn't hurt her, I tugged harder than I normally would, eliciting a sexy groan from Bella as she cupped the base of my throbbing shaft in her hand. She moaned as she took me into her mouth deeper than ever before. My eyes rolled back into my head, my hips bucking violently off the bed toward her as my body roiled and heaved in an insanely deep and passionate moment of pleasure.

I writhed and shuddered in pleasure as I allowed myself to give in fully to the sensation, spilling and spurting into her mouth. She slowly eased her lips off of me, running her cold fingertips across my sweat-covered chest. I stretched my arms out, pulling her hips forward so she was straddling me. Even though her skin was cold and she was still wearing her leather pants, I somehow felt the heat at her center radiate down to me.

I had never felt so close to anyone in my entire life than at that moment – or stripped so raw. It almost seemed like I'd ripped the skin and muscle from my bone to expose every part of me – my hopes, my dreams, my flesh, my soul, my future, my life were all hers – to see, to exploit, to wound me with, to utterly know me.

We lay curled together all night, tangled together like strands of spaghetti. I couldn't tell where my body ended and hers began. The fact that only one heart was beating in our embrace was significant to me. I shared my heart with her.

I tried to stay awake as long as possible. We were so connected, but our time was running out. No matter how hard I tried to hold on to the moment, I felt her slipping away. Each time my eyelids grew heavy and I felt myself dropping into blackness, I fought it. I couldn't shake the feeling that she would simply disappear when I closed my eyes.

When the sky began to lighten, I finally closed my eyes and gave in to the insistent tug of sleep. Just as my body sunk further into the mattress, my arms slinking back to my sides, I felt Bella kiss my eyelids. It was just a whisper of a touch, but enough that it felt like goodbye. And though I couldn't let go - I wouldn't let go - she drifted away from me. She had been there all night, filling me with love and devotion, and then in the next breath, she wasn't.

End Notes:

Ok, so those of you who have begged me not to pull a "New Moon" in this story, please don't worry. As you've already discovered, I am putting my own spin on the book and I will not have Bella torture Edward that way. She has her very own distinct reasons for leaving and it will all be explained in a very short period of time. Please give me the benefit of the doubt here.

I'd love to hear your thoughts – please leave me a review or just say hi so I know you're out there!