A/N: I hope everyone's having a wonderful summer! I just got back from a short trip to visit my parents and was so HOT that I had a difficult getting motivated to do anything, let alone write. But I know you want to know what is going to happen between these two now that so many of the pressing questions have been answered. And though I'm currently writing two stories, I'm a particularly impatient person myself and I hate to keep anyone waiting.

So here we go…

Thank you to my beta, ms. ambrosia. She totally saved my butt I this chapter when I made a stupid mistake on my first draft. She is so completely awesome! I really think we need to create a beta gratitude day around here, so we can all honor our wonderful betas. Someone should get to work setting that up!

If you haven't already, go check out Blossom – ms. ambrosia's Edward is truly one of the sweetest. And put her on author alert, because she has some great new stories in the works!

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own my crazy twist on the story.

Chapter 28

"I killed him. I killed Charlie. I killed him," she repeated. Her eyes were fixed on the flames of the fire as she spoke the words, the hiss of the damp wood seeming to agree with her, seething in its voice of condemnation.

"No…Bella," I pleaded, pulling her to me. She allowed her body to become limp as I embraced her. "How could you be responsible?" I mumbled into her hair, thinking that it was impossible for Bella to hurt anyone, especially her father. "It was James – it was his fault," I suggested, wanting to blame someone – anyone but her.

When she pulled back, her lovely amber eyes capturing mine in her tortured gaze, I felt the true depth of her sorrow for the first time. "I should never have come back. I'm selfish. I'm so selfish. I should have just accepted my life as the nightmare it was and not hoped for more. Then he would still be…"

"You're not selfish, Bella. You deserve to be happy just as much as anyone," I exclaimed passionately.

"No I don't, Edward. I don't. I don't deserve anything. Especially not you," she whispered as she cupped my cheek in her hand. I instinctively leaned into her touch, reveling in the coolness of her skin – a coolness which I associated with her – and that I had come to accept and relish.

I didn't know that his heart was weak. Even if I had known…I still needed to see him…to see if James had hurt him. But when he saw me…the shock of it…the paramedic said he'd had a massive heart attack. He had no chance…no chance.

"Please…please," I begged, uncertain for just what I wanted or needed from her at this point.

My selfishness killed him and it might kill you too. Everyone I love dies. Loving you is my ultimate act of selfishness.

"Then I'm selfish too. I want you more than anything I've ever wanted in my entire life," I admitted. "I…I don't care about anything except being with you. Doesn't that make me selfish?"

"If I was stronger I would stay away from you, but I'm not strong. I need you," she confessed. I instantly remembered the last time we sat on this couch, the intimacy we'd shared, the vulnerability she'd revealed. This time it was different. We were both stripped raw. I knew her secrets now and understood so much more about what was at stake. And yet, when I held her thin shoulders in my arms, I couldn't force myself to care about anything but her and me.

I wanted to comfort her, to take all the pain and hurt away, but even more than that I needed to show her that her pain, her horrors, were all mine now too. We were connected to each other in an inexplicable, but irrevocable way and I would never let her face the world alone again.

Why do I want you so much? Why do I need you so much?

I couldn't answer. She sent so much imagery my way, so quickly that my mind was overwhelmed. I saw myself as she saw me - my chest, my neck, the bulge of my bicep. My green eyes peered back at me intently, as if I were seeing myself in a mirror. And then for an instant my eyes flashed red before the vision changed and I saw hands running down my naked chest, slipping into my pants and disappearing.

A groan slipped from my lips and I awakened as if from a dream to find that Bella's hands were mimicking her thoughts. My shirt was somehow already on the floor and Bella's fingertips were dancing delectably along the surface of my chin, eliciting a wave of chills to run down my arms and up my neck.

"Edward," Bella moaned, "I need you so much." She shifted her body closer, surprising me by throwing her leg over my thigh so that she was straddling my lap, knowingly writhing against me where it affected me most. "Tanya taught me some things…some things that we could do together," she explained and I thought my heart might jump out of my chest in anticipation of finding out what she meant.

"I'm not very experienced. When I was human…I was very shy," she mumbled breathily into my neck. I felt the tip of her tongue dart out and taste me tentatively before she inhaled deeply. I slid my arms under her tight shirt only to find that she wasn't wearing anything underneath. I grew impossibly more excited, my erection throbbing painfully in the confines of my pants.

I want to taste you, Bella thought as she licked my neck and down across my collarbone.

"No, Bella," I pushed her back slightly, the hurt on her face registering briefly in my mind before I spoke. "I want to taste you." Her expression transformed, an impish smile curling at the corner of her lips. And then the smile fell, replaced with a look of apprehension.

We need to be careful. It could be dangerous.

"Bella, stop worrying. You won't hurt me. We need to try. I want to try," I said as I ran my fingers slowly along her arms, down to the tips of her fingers and then resting on her thighs.

If I tell you to stop, you must stop immediately.

"Okay," I agreed, feeling an intense lust attack my body, heat boiling to the surface of my skin. As if Bella could sense my need, the passion welling inside of me, she leaned in to kiss me. Her lips melded with mine, pushing and tugging and nipping in a seductive dance. I tore myself from her lips impatiently and she looked at me with both shock and apprehension that I'd again pushed her away. And despite the heated look she threw at me, I couldn't really explain myself to her except that I had a savage impulse to take control, to dominate her, to succumb to a primitive need to ravage every inch of her.

I knew she could see in my eyes that I wasn't waiting for her to overcome her fear. It was because I deeply believed that she could never harm me, and that she wanted me just as much as I wanted her, that I finally said the words that I'd been thinking.

"I need you now, Bella. I want you," I almost growled at her. "Take off your clothes," I demanded, knowing that she'd only comply with my wishes if she really wanted it as much as I did.

Her eyebrows arched in surprise at the harshness of my tone and I caught a glimpse of her thoughts which weren't coherent at all, but clouded with emotions – passion, warmth, love and need. She was very still, only her intelligent eyes moving to show that she was considering my command.

I was sucking in deep breaths, my resolve beginning to falter when Bella finally stood, her eyes never leaving mine. In fact, they were locked on me as though we were bound to each other with our heated gaze.

As I waited for Bella to make a move, I felt paralyzed. I was hovering on a precipice; depending on Bella's choice, I would either fall to my death or fly to the heavens. I even scooted to the edge of the couch as if preparing to make the leap when Bella's body finally sprang to action.

I barely noticed when her fingers swept across the front of her chest, deftly undoing the tiny buttons of her shirt faster than my eyes could see. I sucked in a breath as her hand tucked under the fabric onto her breast, the shirt creeping open and revealing a sliver of pale skin.

"Fast or slow? Do you want it fast or slow?" she asked as she shook her head so that long, dark curls of her hair swung across her shoulders and fell across her chest. I raised my hand as if to touch it, to wind my fingers through it, to tug on it as I kissed her, but dropped it when I realized she was waiting for my answer.

"Slow," I murmured, barely audibly.

Her fingers peeled back her shirt from her body, allowing it to slip off her shoulders and down her arms to the floor. I gasped at the sight of her full, pert breasts and sprang up from the couch to touch them, to caress them, but Bella put out her arm, stopping me. "I'm not done," she said and I plopped heavily back down onto the couch.

It was torture having her stand half-naked before me and not being able to touch her yet, but I had asked for her to go slowly. I almost felt like sitting on my hands, forcing myself to allow her to proceed without my interference. It was impossible for me to resist temptation with Bella imagining her lips wrapping around my erection, her hands coiling around my thighs.

"Tanya reassured me that we could be together, that I wouldn't kill you, that it was possible for us to make love to each other," Bella explained as she slipped off her black motorcycle boots. Her hair dangled in front of her nipples as she bent over and I became fixated on how a strand of it laced around her areola, making it pucker and harden.

I love you, she thought as her hands went to her pants, sliding the zipper open one tooth at a time. Her hair swished seductively over her chest, drawing my eyes upward. I saw my lust mirrored in her eyes as she stretched her jeans over her hips and down her long, lean legs. She kicked her pants to the side and stood before me in just a tiny, black pair of lacy underwear.

I was so overwhelmed with desire and love that my breath caught in my throat and I stuttered to breathe. She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen; her body was lovelier than I ever could have imagined. Every curve was perfection, poetry in form. She was a masterpiece crafted by the most talented artist known to man. I felt immensely lucky and overwhelmed by her beauty all at once.

And yet I felt strangely possessive too. She was mine. Mine. Just as I was hers. I had never felt so intensely about anyone before.

I stood again and this time she didn't stop me when I approached her. I lifted my fingers to her hair, threading them through it, and grabbing a handful. I pushed her lips to mine, but pulled away when I felt her fingers at my jeans. Before I knew what was happening she'd unbuttoned them and in one swift movement, the toes of her left foot curled around them and tugged. I looked down and was surprised to find them bunched around my ankles. I stepped out of them and raised my eyes again to hers as she wound her arm around my bare torso and pulled me to her.

It had been a long time since I'd been this bare in front of anyone. There was very little space between our bodies. I leaned onto the balls of my feet, closing the distance so that our chests touched, my inflamed skin meeting the icy surface of her breasts.

"Oh god, your skin feels so good, so smooth," I uttered, dropping my head to her shoulder and breathing in the scent of her hair.

"You too…you feel so good," Bella said as she wrapped her arms around my waist. I moved my hands to her lower back, resting my fingers on the edge of her lacy underwear. I slipped my hands inside of them as Bella pushed her hand between us, massaging me through my cotton boxers. I cupped her firm ass in my hands, rubbing circles into her flesh with my thumbs.

I didn't notice how fast my heart was beating or how sweat began to collect at my temples and dampen my hair. I was entirely consumed by my need to get closer to Bella, to drown in her scent, to crawl under her skin. We couldn't get close enough. My hands tried to pull her closer, her leg lifting and curling around my hip.

"Ungh," I groaned as my lips attacked hers.

Edward…oh Edward…oh, she thought, her mind dominated by her feelings and desires. I knew how much she wanted me…wanted this. She wasn't concealing any of her feelings from me and this knowledge only fueled my passion for her.

For once I sensed no hesitation on her part. She seemed positively unfettered by the fears and concerns that normally interrupted and prevented our physical relationship from progressing. She was free and open; it felt as though nothing could come between us.

I nuzzled my lips against her neck below her ear, my heavy breaths billowing against her skin. "You're so warm…so warm," Bella said, her forehead against my chest.

I dragged my fingers from her hips, across the small curve of her stomach and along her ribs. When I reached the swell of her breasts I paused and arched backward to catch her eye. Even though her body and her thoughts told me that she was enjoying this as much as I was, I needed to see it on her face. The savage look in her golden eyes revealed everything; she was as desperate for me as I was for her.

My lips crashed into hers as I grasped her breasts in my hands, circling her nipples with my thumb and index fingers. I trailed my lips down her chest, licking and nipping her flesh before sucking an erect nipple into my mouth. I massaged the other breast with my other hand while Bella's fingers slipped into my boxers and thread themselves around my throbbing erection, instantly catapulting my body into a heightened level of desire.

I felt an intense surge of need to touch Bella, to smell her, to taste her. "Wait," I said, reluctantly and carefully prying her fingers from me before I slid to the ground on my knees, caressing her body as I went. I ran my fingers up her legs, nudging them apart. I kissed the inside of her knees, peppering kisses all along the inside of her thighs.

I ran my nose across her core, deeply inhaling her intoxicating scent through the thin barrier of her underwear. I wanted to stretch out this moment, to revel in the exploration of her body, but my restraint was slipping. She was enticing in every way, seductive and tantalizing. Her vampire body may be the epitome of beauty, designed to allure her prey, but there was no doubt in my mind that our connection was deeper than that. Everything about her drew me in, convincing me that she was made just for me.

I desperately wanted to bury myself inside of her. I tucked my fingers into her underwear and slithered them slowly down her legs. I couldn't hide the fact that my hands began to tremble as reached out for her, sliding my finger tentatively along her upper thigh and on the outside of her folds. I caressed her in an agonizingly slow pace, my eyes seeking hers, needing the connection of both our bodies and souls simultaneously. I held her eyes in mine as I dipped a finger inside of her, pleasantly shocked by the slick wetness I found. I gasped in pleasure as I explored her, adding a second finger.

Bella closed her eyes as I touched her, her head falling back, moaning at the sensation. My cock was almost painfully erect at this point, seeming to stretch up toward Bella of its own accord. Bella moaned again, the primitive sound all the encouragement I needed to thrust my tongue up into her, lapping greedily. I didn't pause as I moved her leg over my shoulder for better access, thrusting my tongue deeper, my fingers continuing their rhythm.

Harder, Edward, harder. "Harder," she whispered as though to reiterate her thoughts.

I pushed into her with more force, my movements and my tongue far from gentle. Her hands reached down into my hair, her fingers rubbing and scratching as her mind shifted back and forth between visions of colors and patterns and thoughts of love and adoration for me. I was overwhelmed all at once with the sensation of both her taste, the scent of her passion, and her feelings, but I couldn't stop. She was like a drug…and the essence of Bella was better than anything I'd ever experienced before.

I felt what I was doing to her, how good I was making her feel and I thought that I always wanted to make her feel this way. I almost felt like I was in a trance as I tugged on Bella's clit with my lips. She squealed in pleasure and I sensed her body tensing. I was elated and feeling rather proud of myself when Bella's muscles contracted around my fingers.

I hollowed my cheeks, sucking one last time before pulling my mouth away. I placed a steadying hand on her hip to hold her to me as intense convulsions ripped through her body. Her mind was flooding me with visual images – swirling ribbons of light, exploding into electric confetti and shooting into the distance like ghostly comets. And then all of a sudden she gasped for breath in a very human-like way, her eyes blinking open.

Blood…

Her errant thought send a wave of chills down my spine and as soon as her eyes landed on me, I sensed that something had radically altered within her. Her eyes darkened perceptively, her mouth opened and her lips curled back, exposing the sharp edge of her teeth. I flinched at her fierce posture, recoiling, my hand slipping down her leg to her ankle. This was not my Bella.

She'd all at once appeared more animal than woman. It was as if she'd unintentionally dropped all her barriers. When she'd surrendered to the passion within and allowed herself to find a release, she'd lost control of her tenuous hold on the monster within her, transforming into a feral creature driven purely by instinct.

Her thoughts had changed drastically and she either didn't possess the presence of mind to cloak them from me or she didn't care. The white, hot sparks had retreated to the back of her mind, replaced by a blinding, all-consuming need – not to quench her desires, but her thirst. My mind was instantly flooded with red viscous liquid, flowing in a torrential torrent like a waterfall of death.

I inhaled, instantly feeling the chill of her skin. I rocked back on my heels, slowly peeling my hands away from her.

My small movement was enough to jolt her to action. She crouched, her naked body poised to pounce. Before I could even think to move, she had grabbed me around the wrist, her fingers digging painfully into my skin.

"You're not going anywhere," she growled, her voice unrecognizable.

"Bella…please. I love you," I muttered against the pain, my hand falling numb.

You…you can't. You can't love me. I'm a monster. I'm a monster. I…I…Edward.

Her struggle was both physical and mental, and was entirely incapacitating. She had released my wrist, but the sharp, stabbing intensity of the war inside her mind was far more excruciating. A steady stream of bloody, violent, torturous images and feelings pelted my brain and I immediately curled into a ball, tucking my head to my chest with my hands at my temples.

I'm not sure how long I was stuck in this position, suffering in this way. It could have been minutes or hours; I wouldn't have known the difference.

When I felt as though I could no longer stand the agony of Bella's internal battle, all of a sudden my mind cleared and I felt familiar, cool hands run down my back. Though at first I resisted the pleasure of her touch, when I sensed the clarity of her mind I allowed myself to relax, the revel in the way my body reacted to her.

Once my mind settled, it only took me a moment to realize what had happened and to compose myself. Despite the potentially destructive way that Bella's orgasm affected her, I didn't want her to think I regretted or feared what we had done. The risk was worth it for me.

Edward...I'm so sorry. Please look at me.

I slowly and carefully unfurled my body, opening my eyes and craning my neck to look at her. She looked panicked, her eyes wide and worried. Before she could repeat her apology, I lifted my moist fingers to my mouth and sucked on them, one at a time. "You are beyond delicious, Bella," I said. "I love you."

How can you forgive me? She questioned silently, her expression tormented.

"Because I love you. Please, say you love me too. That's all I need you to say."

"I love you too," she replied, her eyes and stance softening. I stood to kiss her but her head snapped toward the door, panicked once again. "Someone's coming," she explained, pulling on her clothing in lightening speed. I was just buttoning my pants, my shirt draped over my shoulders, when we heard a loud, insistent knocking on the door.

Bella moved to open it, casting a nervous glance in my direction. I was slipping my shirt on when the door crashed open. Jacob stepped inside, out of breath, and I knew by his look that he'd just phased into his human form.

"Jake, what is it?" Bella asked. She unwittingly sent all her worries my way – images of dead humans, vampires sucking at their necks, wolves whimpering in pain. I shook my head from side to side as if to clear it.

"It's the girl – Lauren. She's dead."

After the insanity of the recent events in my life, it felt infinitely normal to pick Bella up on Monday morning to drive her to school. Of course she could have gotten there faster on her own, but neither one of us wanted to be apart if we didn't have to. Plus, Bella had missed so much school already that she was at risk of not graduating. And regardless of her extenuating circumstances, Bella was determined to get her diploma this time.

I knew that after what we'd been through, I should be worried and fearful, but when we arrived at school and I wrapped my arm around Bella's shoulders as we walked up to the entrance, I had never been happier. I couldn't explain it, but despite all the danger in my life, I finally felt like I was where I belonged, like everything made sense.

"Everyone's looking at us, Edward," Bella stated.

"Let them look, Bella," I replied, squeezing her tighter to me.

They're all talking about us.

"Let them talk," I said, planting a kiss on her head.

They're also talking about Lauren's disappearance.

I nodded in response, remembering Jacob's agonized expression when he told us how he'd found her body. He and Seth had been patrolling the forest for signs of vampires when they'd caught her scent. The found her body at the river's edge, bloated from hours of drifting in the water.

The bite marks on Lauren's neck were obvious, as if the vampire who killed her wanted it known that she'd been marked. Her body had been completely drained of blood and then purposely dumped upstream in the river so that she would be found. Her death seemed like a message – or a threat.

Jacob and the wolves further mutilated her body so that it looked like she'd been attacked by an animal and then put her body back in the river so it would float further downstream. Yet no one had discovered it yet.

I felt badly for Lauren. No matter how she repulsed me, she didn't deserve to die – especially not such a horrible death. I hoped someone found her body soon though. The rumors that were circulating around the school about her disappearance were beyond ridiculous and I was quickly tiring of hearing the theories about how she was a drug addict who'd run off with her dealer or how she'd been abducted into the slave trade. I couldn't help but draw ties between the reaction to Lauren's disappearance and Bella's more than a year before. Little did the people of Forks know how their town had been preyed upon by vampires.

As we walked down the hall, I looked around and saw other kids joking with one another, listening to music on their iPods, reading, and realized just how trivial it all seemed. I couldn't believe how different my life had become in such a short time. I used to be one of them. Now my life was about Bella and everything else just seemed pointless.

We walked to class and I glanced at Bella who remarkably seemed the same as always – confident, beautiful, untouchable. Only I could see what was inside that shell and what was brewing underneath.

Bella didn't have to tell me how worried she was about the situation; I knew without her having to voice it. It was clear that she had inadvertently lured vampires to Forks and was now feeling guilty for putting the townspeople's lives in jeopardy. She also didn't have to tell me how she blamed herself for Lauren's death, because whether she wanted me to or not, I had seen and felt it all in her thoughts.

I wondered how things might be different for me if Bella hadn't disappeared, if she hadn't been made into a vampire. Would we have met? Would we be so drawn to one another? Would I have been able to read her human mind? I would like to think that we were meant to be…soul mates…that we would have found each other despite our circumstances.

But as we sat down at our desk in biology I decided that it didn't matter. We were together now and our fate was decided. We would face our future together in one way or another. I knew Bella would do anything to protect me and I would do anything to protect her. If this meant that I would have to eventually become a vampire, well…we would cross that bridge when we came to it.

End Notes: I'd really love to hear your thoughts! What do you think about how much Edward is willing to put up with to be intimate with Bella?

Is it hot where you are? I love to hear about how different it is where you live! Right now, it's only seventy-five degrees here – normally it's in the hundreds – so I consider myself lucky today.

I'd be even luckier if you reviewed! So do it! Come on!

Thank you for reading!