Dean woke up with a throbbing headache, his cheek resting on a filthy stone floor. With a grunt, he sat up, rubbing his head to find an egg shaped lump.
"Awesome," he grunted, wincing as pain shot through his skull. Opening his eyes, Dean saw only blackness. Wherever he was, they didn't have electricity. Probably a dungeon, he reasoned, feeling dirt and stone beneath his hands. Seemed strange to be abducted and end up somewhere like this. Although, he wouldn't know, he'd never been abducted by aliens before anyways. At least he wasn't on a probing table… yet.
Dean rubbed his wrists, noticing that they were clad in iron handcuffs, attached by chains to the stone floor.
"Fran-frikin-tastic!" he exclaimed, giving the shackles a tested pull, wincing as they rubbed against his already raw skin. "Gotta say, I'd prefer pink fuzzy handcuffs over these things any day." He muttered, smirking at his own humor. "Mmmm, I've had some good experiences with those."
"Will you shut up?" cried a voice to his right, a little higher in pitch then the normal man. Dean jumped in surprise.
"Holy…! Who the hell are you?" He yelled.
"Dead, if you don't keep your voice down!" the thing whispered angrily through clenched teeth.
Both of them kept quiet as they heard the shuffle of footsteps outside, strange grunting noises followed, then silence. After a few minutes, he spoke.
"The name's Grumpy." said the mysterious figure. With a snap of his fingers, fire sprang to his fingertips, lighting up the surroundings and himself.
"Wait, what?" Dean blinked, his mouth dropping open at the sight before him. It was like he had all of a sudden wound up in a Disney movie.
A white bearded dwarf sat a ways to the right of him, hands shackled similarly to the stone floor. He wore a red tunic, stretching over his fat stomach. On the top of his white hair sat a brown hat. His face was covered in a scowl, looking like it had been permanently pressed onto his face.
"You're a dwarf," Dean stated dumbly, pointing one of his fingers in Grumpy's direction.
"No shit, dumbo," the dwarf scowled. Dean was taken aback by PG-13 language.
"Hey, didn't think cursing was allowed in Disney movies," Dean muttered, smirking to himself.
"What was that ya said?" Grumpy asked.
"Nothin'," Dean sighed, his head turning to take in his surroundings.
Yup, it was a dungeon alright. A frikin dungeon. He was stuck in some kind of Disney, fairy tale crap with Grumpy the fire snapping dwarf over there, and he was pretty sure he wasn't going to be able to pick these cuffs. He didn't have any pointy objects on him anyways.
"What the hell," he muttered, closing his eyes trying to take in the crazy.
"Well, you going to introduce yourself? You stupid humans, always with your emotional break downs. But, this is impossible! Why me! I'm going crazy!" the dwarf mimicked in a high voice, "I've had the company of your kind a few times now. Those trolls are always bringing you lot down here. The king must be busy at the moment."
Dean stared.
"Well, your not going to start crying now are you? The last one did. It was pathetic."
Dean scowled, "Who shit in your cheerios this morning," Dean said, glaring at the dwarf.
Grumpy's expression darkened as his face started turning red, a rant most likely ready to follow up.
"Look, the name's Dean," he intervened before the dwarf's head exploded. "Where the hell am I?"
"King Avalon's castle of course," the dwarf stated.
"Of course," Dean sighed, smirking slightly.
"You must have been chosen, all the humans brought down here usually are."
"Chosen for what?" Dean asked worriedly. If he was on some strange alien planet, for all he knew "King Avalon" was going to have him for dinner, or worse…
"No-one knows for sure. I've heard rumors though. Some say he eats the humans he gathers, although that seems rather unlikely. He's such a small little thing," Grumpy snorted, "Others say he keeps them as trophies and turns them to gold, so their youth can outlast time. There are other stories as well far more outlandish to mention." Grumpy shook his head and shivered. "I can tell ya one thing though, I'm happy I'm not you."
Dean's eyebrows drew together in a worried expression. He definitely didn't want to spend the rest of his days as a golden statue being perved on by some tiny, handsy king.
"How did you end up down here then, Grumpy? You piss off the king or something?"
Grumpy scowled, "No, you nit wit! It just so happens, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time."
"Right, explain then?" Dean asked, an eyebrow rising.
"Well, there was a party back at Snow White's place, which is only a short walk into the woods from here," said the dwarf, his cheeks growing pink. "A little too much rum, and the other dwarfs thought it would be funny to play a prank on me. You see, they've always been jealous. I'm the most handsome out of the 7 of us." Grumpy said, lifting his head slightly, his hand combing through his beard. "We walked to King Avalon's castle, and they dared me to kiss one of the trolls on guard duty. Well, being in my state of mind, I did. Happened to be one of the other guard's wife. And well, here I am."
Dean's eyes grew wide, his face lit with an expression of hilarity as he broke down laughing.
"Jesus! Party at... Snow White's…. 7 dwarves…." Dean cried in between laughing fits. "Must have been a hell of a party! Just stay away from the poison appletinis!"
The dwarf looked at him suspiciously.
"How do you know about that? Snow White never got over that. She still doesn't touch an apple to this day. Even when I baked her an apple pie once out of good thought. She ran from the room screaming!"
Dean's laughing grew louder, his hand over his mouth trying dampen the noise.
"Will you be quiet!" Grumpy scowled.
Loud shuffling sounded from outside the door, followed by grunting. A bang and metallic clang of a lock being undone made both of them shut up and turn towards the door, Dean's laughter echoing off the walls slightly. His expression darkened, his hands itching for his gun; if only it hadn't been taken from him during his knock out session earlier. The room grew dark again as Grumpy extinguished the fire from his fingertips.
The big wooden door was pushed open with a bang, light filling small dungeon, making Dean squint his eyes.
"The King is ready to see you now," the massive thing grunted, eyes focusing on Dean.
He gulped at the sight.