14

Not All Gifts Are Well Received.

Hotch drove with an unwrapped parcel on the passenger seat. It was late afternoon now and the traffic was heavy and the air was damp. He hadn't let Jack see that something had arrived for him. What he'd done was call the store which had delivered it and asked who had paid for the delivery. They had no name but they described a scruffy dark haired man who looked like he'd escaped from a mental hospital. It was all the description Hotch needed. There was only one place Flanders would have gone to and that's where he was on his way to now. He pulled up in the underground parking lot and took the elevator up to Spencer's floor. The corridor was very dimly lit but it didn't bother Hotch until he saw something piled up next to the fire exit doors. He thought at first, when he originally noted it that someone had left rubbish there. Then he saw a pale foot and a bony elbow and his stomach lurched. At first he thought it was Spencer laying there; that Floyd had come back and killed him and thrown him out like garbage and then he took in the mass of dark hair. He placed the parcel in front of Reid's door and cautiously got a closer look. He knew who it was now. He just wasn't sure if Sam was alive or not. It wasn't until he was crouched down next to him that he could see that his eyes were open if not slightly glazed but there was movement from the shallow breaths he was taking. There was dried blood on his face where it looked to Hotch that Sam had tiny cuts and now he was close enough to see he could see that the tips of Sam's fingers were also cut. He placed a hand on Sam's shoulder.

'Leave me alone.' A shallow far away voice muttered.

'Sam it's Hotch.'

'I can see who you are. I'm not fucking blind. Leave me alone.'

'You're frozen. What are you doing out here? Get up. You can have my jacket.'

'Oh right. Sure… defy him and get my feet mutilated. I'm not a fool. Go away.'

Hotch moved his hand away but didn't yet leave. 'Why are you here? Where are your clothes? This towel is wet.'

'I pissed myself. I'm laying in half frozen piss. That's why I'm so cold. That's why the towel is wet. Look I'm sorry to have to say this to you but I don't want your fucking help so go away… as to why I am here… Why the hell do you think?'

Sam then curled up tighter and closed his eyes. Hotch looked over his shoulder at the door. 'Take my jacket.' He was almost begging Sam now.

'I said… I don't …I don't want – my – feet – mutilated. He will kill me if I am found… if he knows. Please… fuck of Aaron. Leave me.'

'I'll talk to him. I'll be back.'

Hotch stood and was hoping Sam would ask him to stay or give him the jacket but he seemed adamant that he wanted to be left alone. Aaron turned and knocked on Spencer's door. He could hear footsteps. Cautious footsteps. Quickly Aaron picked up the parcel and waited for the door to be opened. He had no doubt that it would be. There was a sliding of a lock and then the door swung open. Spencer was standing there wearing a very big smile.

'Hotch! Come in.'

'I'm not here to see you Reid. You were meant to report to my office today. I see you've been busy doing something else though?' He indicated Sam. Spencer though ignored what Hotch was pointing at and stood back for him to come in.

As he locked the door again he carried on talking. 'Do you want a drink? There's coffee of some whiskey if you fancy? Lovely to see you. What have you got there?' The chatter was fake and nervous. 'The weather's been cold for this time of the year don't you think? I know I was meant to come and see you today but things sort of got hectic and I lost all track of time. I have written the resignation letter though. I can let you have that and my ID now. That would save me driving in tomorrow. I'm going on holiday… Hotch… I'm… Floyd is here.' Then panicked tone was building in Spencer's voice. 'Please… please don't cause trouble.'

Hotch walked passed Spencer into the lounge were Floyd was standing looking at the books on the shelves. He talked to Hotch without turning around.

'I was expecting you. I thought you'd be here before now. We're going away. I'm sure Garcia will be able to give you all the little dirty details. A holiday though is in order. Was there something you wanted Agent Aaron Hotchner?'

Hotch put the parcel down on the table. 'You will stop your games.' He snapped. 'You will not send my son gifts in the post. You will stay away from him or I will…'

'You will what?' Floyd turned around taking in the unwrapped package. 'He would have liked that. It was only a good will gesture. The boy has lost his mother, his father is hardly home…'

'You will stay away from my son!' Now a raised and angry voice.

Floyd took a step towards Hotch. 'You will have to learn to put up with it Aaron. It's how it works. And I don't think you can say that I've broken any law. Now get a restraining order out on me and maybe I'll have to rethink, but do you really want me to do that Aaron?' Floyd gestured towards the apartment door. 'I guess you saw Sam out there.'

'You will stop this insane behaviour Flanders. You will stay away from my son.'

'As you will stay away from mine. Now kindly take your self out of the apartment.'

'Sam's not your son!' Hotch picked up the package and shoved it into Floyd's chest. 'Take it and I'm warning you…'

'Oh go ahead and warn me… warn me till you're blue in the face… will it stop me? As for Sam not being my son… he's what I choose to say he is and today he's been a very naughty little boy which is why he's out there shivering and not in here warming his poor cold fingers on Spencer… I mean on the central heating.' Floyd now glanced at Spencer. 'Are you going to tell Aaron why Sam's a bad boy or am I?'

Reid felt his face getting hot. He quickly turned and picked up the letter off the desk and took his ID out of the desk drawer. 'My resignation.' He muttered and held them out for Hotch. 'Please don't ask questions. I know you don't understand but it's how it's got to be.' He could still feel his face burning with something mixed with anger and shame. Hotch took the things from Spencer's hands and nodded.

'If you need anything…'

'If he needs anything he's got me. He doesn't need you. No one actually needs you. Tell Sam he can some back in now. I think he's learnt his lesson.'

Hotch gave Floyd a cold look and then looked back at Spencer. 'If you need anything.'

Reid suddenly jerked out of the way as Floyd pulled him to the side. 'Anything? Please elucidate for me Aaron.' But Hotch turned his back and began to walk back to the door. 'I mean it Flanders. If you attempt to contact my son again I will have you charged.'

'Ah fuck off Hotchner. Get out of my apartment and don't forget to tell Sam to come back in… but you touch him… well give my boy comfort and I might have to give your boy some… and I don't think we comfort in quite the same way and my patience when it comes to such matters is quite long… alarmingly long. You'll be looking over your shoulder even when dead and in your grave. Give Jack a good night kiss for me… actually, I think from now on every time you kiss that sweet child goodnight you can just assume that all that love is from me too. Good night. Happy New year and all that shit.'

Spencer heard the door open and he heard Hotch's muttered voice and then he heard Sam's coughs. He turned to Floyd who was standing again looking at the books. 'What the hell was that all about? You bought Jack a gift?'

'Don't worry your sweet self babes. I'm just winding him up.' He pulled a book off the shelf and started to leaf through it.

'Winding him up? You implied that you're going to groom Jack!'

'Oh very much more than implied it Spencer. Don't worry. I know what I'm doing.' He put the book back again. 'Sam my little princess you smell of piss. I can smell you from here. Go shower and make yourself beautiful for me will you? There's a love. I've been considering the items of clothing that Spencer got you and I think you may as well keep them, but put something else on for now sweet thing… save them for our holiday… you do want to come on holiday with me and Spence don't you?'

'I'll have a shower and thank you Floyd.'

'Oh you're lucky you caught me in such a forgiving mood. I didn't think I would be able to but you know what a soft bastard I can be sometimes. You are really going to have to behave yourself though if you want what I've got in my pocket.'

Sam stood looking at the stain on the wooden floor. He then turned quickly and walked to the bathroom before Floyd could see that he was crying. Not crying because Floyd had hurt him. Not crying because he'd been humiliated and had turned down Hotch's offer of help… but crying because of that stain in the wood. Sam already knew that he'd be down there trying to lick the stuff off the floor. He knew that he'd be begging Floyd for that other phial and he knew that just like Spencer and the clothes that he was going to have to jump through all sorts of hoops to get it.

'Why do you have to wind Hotch up about his son? What's the point in that?'

Floyd shrugged. 'He takes too much interest in my affairs. I'm just doing the same back. He'll learn and he'll back off. Jack's a kid Spencer. I'm not going to do anything to hurt him. You should know me better than that. I might threaten to love him and hug him and show him manly love when he's old enough, but I'd never threaten his kid as such.' Spencer wanted to know what Floyd had bought for Jack. What was in the parcel? 'It's a games console and fifty games. All kids stuff, some just games, some educational. He'd have liked it. Check it if you don't believe me. It's the sort of thing kids of his age like.'

Spencer raised an eyebrow. 'In the same way I liked books and paper.'

'No babes, not the same at all. That was very expensive special paper.' Floyd grinned a shark like grin and walked down to the kitchen taking a few seconds to look through the open bathroom door at Sam standing soaping himself in the shower. He stood for a while in the kitchen looking at the wall. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his mouth was dry, his hands shaking, his toes were curling up and relaxing inside the dirty sneakers, his skin felt itchy and he had a thumping headache. Floyd pressed the heel of his hands against his eyes trying to stop the rage building up inside of him. 'Not yet.' He muttered to himself. 'Not yet. I'll have plenty of time when we get there to show them both what happens when they screw behind my back.' He took the phial of poppy oil out of his pocket and rolled it around in the palm of his hand. 'I can control Sam with this, but what can I control Spencer with?' He slipped it back into his pocket and glanced out of the kitchen door and then looked back at the kitchen drawer he was standing in front of. He pulled it open and looked down at the shiny sharp knives sitting there. He took out a small one and held it up in front of his face. For a while he stood there looking at the knife and thinking about the things he could do with it. He could feel that Spencer was now standing at the kitchen door looking at him so he carefully placed the knife on the work surface and turned to look at Spencer. 'I don't usually use weapons.' Floyd said. 'But I will if that's what I have to do.'

Spencer swallowed and licked at his lips. 'I don't understand.'

'Do you say that because you know I don't like you saying you're sorry? I know you understand Spencer. You probably understand better than anyone. Did you mark off the days?' Spencer said nothing but kept his eyes on the knife. 'Oh don't worry about the knife. I wouldn't use that on you. It was for Sam. I considered taking out an eye but that'd mar that pretty face of his and who the hell looks at his face when he's on his knees? So not really much of a revenge as I seem to be the only one who likes to look at his face.'

'Floyd!' Spencer took a step into the kitchen. 'If you want to place blame then blame me.'

'Oh I do. I very much blame you. I know you have an emotional tie to Sam. I just didn't think you'd do something as base and vile as fucking him.' Floyd flicked at the knife with his finger. 'So what do you think Spencer?'

Reid stepped back a pace. 'About what?' He was speaking so quietly he could hardly hear his own voice… but he knew it was shaking horribly.

'Well about me taking Sam's eye.'

'I think… I think… that you should be taking your anger out on me.'

'Upsets you does it? Bother you that I might cut Sam?'

Spencer wrapped his arms tightly around his own chest. 'Of course it does and keep your voice down.'

'Don't want him to hear what I have planned? Oh Spencer… surely you don't love the whore do you? He's got no loyalty as is evident by what he let you do. Surely you don't think he really has feelings do you? He's just a vessel for masturbation. He has no feelings.'

'You're wrong Floyd.'

Floyd slammed his hand down on the counter next to the knife. 'Well we will see wont we because if I even get a sniff of him on you again I'm going to show you just what an evil son of a motherfucking bitch I can be and I'll make you watch while I mutilate him. So keep away.'

'You wouldn't.' But again Spencer was moving back…

…and again Floyd slammed his hand down on the counter making the knife rattle and making Spencer jump. 'You want to put that to the test Spence? Go ahead. I'm sure he'll be asking for someone to dry him off soon. See what happens if you do. I'm game if you are and don't even think of asking me why I'm doing this.'

'I wasn't…'

'Fucking were! You damned bitch! You lying whore! I'm away for fuck knows how long… I return, end up with you dragging fucking Morgan here and then I'm in hospital. Do you visit? Fuck no! No you sodding well fucking don't! Not a fucking sign of you. Did it even occur to you to come and check up on me? No! No! and don't try to tell me otherwise Spencer because I know you didn't. No phone calls, no letters, no requests… not a fucking thing and I did wonder why. I thought that maybe Hotchner had got to you. But…' Floyd picked up the knife and flipped it from one hand to another. 'But you were here showing your base carnal desires to my boy… how many nights?'

Reid just stared. He knew that if he lied Floyd would know, but if he was honest with him either he or Sam were going to be dead.

'I don't need to answer that.' He finally said and Floyd corrected him telling him that he did need to answer it. 'He was here for two nights.'

'Nice. So it wasn't just a mistake. I was sort of thinking that it might have been your stupidity leaving the door untended. But you knew… you fucking well knew he'd come to the bed given the chance.' He was now holding the knife firmly in one hand and gesticulating with it.

'It wasn't like that Floyd. I promise…'

'Don't you fucking lie to me!' Floyd bellowed. 'Sam! Sam Trent-Saviour get your arse down to the kitchen now!'

Spencer moved to block the doorway. 'There's no need. I get the message. I understand. You don't need…'

'You want me to fucking gut you? Get out of the door way. Sam get here now!'

'I wont allow you to hurt Sam for my mistake.'

Floyd sighed and smirked. 'Well good. That's good. I like to see someone with a bit of loyalty, but Spence I thought you were my lover. I thought you were mine? Where's the loyalty towards me?'

Reid stood his ground. 'I wont let you to hurt Sam when you have already said that I'm to blame. So if you need to take your anger out on someone it's going to have to be me.'

Floyd lowered the knife, turned his back on Spencer and put the knife back in the drawer. He was seeing a new side to Spencer and he didn't much like it. Not that Floyd was worried or even bothered that Spencer would hit him… but he wasn't going to risk that… at least not yet. 'Just remember Spencer. You keep your hands off him.' For now Floyd was content that he had Spencer under control. He would use the poppy oil to keep Sam in check and he would use Sam to keep Spencer in check. 'Tomorrow we pack and leave for a vacation at the beach. Wont that be fun?' Floyd stood in the corner of the kitchen and then slid down to sit on the floor. 'Sam princess come here.' He muttered, but for now Sam was keeping well away. Actually Sam was on his knees in the lounge running fingers longingly over the stain on the floor and then licking his slightly grazed fingertips. He didn't even hear Floyd calling for him. It wasn't until Spencer tossed a coaster at Sam's head that Sam looked up to see what was going on.

'Floyd wants you in the kitchen. I'll clean up the floor.' Spencer told him.

Sam's eyes went wide. 'You're have a fucking joke. He'll kill me. And leave that right where it is.' Sam ran fingers over the oily mark again. 'At least until I've got a proper supply.'

'Do you really want him to come to you and drag you down there? I'd go. He's not going to hurt you.' Spencer flopped down into his chair and sighed. 'Floyd needs to stop playing whatever game it is he thinks he's playing with Hotch. He's going to get himself killed.'

Dark eyes watched Spencer carefully. 'He's only happy if everyone around him is miserable.' Sam got to his feet. 'Leave that on the floor Spencer… please.'

Spencer just nodded and watched Sam walk slowly away as though he was walking to his death. Something had happened in the kitchen when he was talking to Floyd. Something which he thought Floyd felt too. Spencer knew that if Floyd had come for him he would have more than defended himself. He would have gotten that knife off Floyd and used it if necessary and he was sure that Floyd sensed that too. Reid wasn't sure yet if this was a good or a bad thing.

Floyd looked up when Sam finally showed himself at the kitchen door. 'You wanted me?' He asked Floyd but didn't actually step into the room.

'Hhmm.' Floyd held out a hand. 'Come here. I need a closer look.'

'Something wrong with your eyesight all of a sudden?' But he stepped forwards a bit and then a string of excuses started. 'It wasn't my fault. If he'd locked the bedroom door I'd not have gone in there. I went in for another blanket and he just looked so warm. I intended it just to be a few minutes cos my feet felt like ice and my hands were freezing and I just wanted to share some warmth. I didn't think for one minute that he'd do what he did. He's bigger than me… I mean taller and he held me so tight I couldn't get away and he raped me.' Sam sniffed then broke off into a long coughing fit.

'Why does everyone around me lie? If you just said that you went in there to get him to fuck you I'd understand a bit better maybe.' He clicked his fingers at Sam. 'Here. I just want to hold you.'

'You're not angry with me?'

'More angry than I know how to express myself. If I showed you exactly how angry I was I'd be making a new tobacco pouch out of your soft pale skin and nibbling on barbequed ribs. But I don't want to do that. You're lucky you caught me on a day when I'm feeling – forgiving. No not actually forgiving, but more… lethargic. Skinning someone properly takes time and effort and I've not got a drying rack. Come here and I'll let you taste some of this poppy oil.' Floyd pulled it out of his hoodie pocket and held it up. 'Come on princess what're you afraid of?'

'I'm afraid that you're going to skin me if you want an honest answer.'

Floyd pulled the stopper off the bottle. 'You'll not feel a thing. Come on rat… my little cunny… come and get what you want.' He placed a finger over the open top of the small phial and upended it. He then righted it again and held out a finger. 'Come suck.'

Spencer Has An Internal Rant.

I am so very angry. I thought I was angry with Sam but I'm more annoyed…

…with myself. I cant believe what I've done and what I've risked just for… for… I don't even know what for now. For some night time pleasure. I throw myself down on to the couch and stare at the books all lined up neatly, all in the right places, everything where I need it to be. I could just close my eyes and reach out and know I had the right book in my hand. I like my life ordered and neat and everything in its place and that's how it's been recently. I've found my place at work. I no longer feel uncomfortable inside my own skin. I don't feel like the kid anymore. Except now that Floyd's back I've resigned. I would love to phone Hotch and ask him to forgive me, but I cant! I cant do that because if Floyd finds out it wouldn't be my life at risk but it would be Hotch's. Now I have to ask myself if I am going to sit back and let this situation control me or if I'm going to insist that Sam and Floyd leave. I don't intend going on holiday with them. I want to stay here and try to sort out my life and pull it all back together again and maybe have a chat with Strauss and see if I can salvage anything from this horrible mess I've allowed to happen. But no… what am I thinking of?

I get up and pull open the bottom drawer of the desk. At the bottom is a grey journal and in that book are my thoughts from when Floyd left. Maybe I should read it to remind myself… How much pain was I really in that he'd gone…?

'I'll have that.'

The book is snatched from my hands. 'Hey… no Floyd…' Dear god he cant read what I've put in there.

'I'm going to bed… With Sam. You have blankets and I have bed time reading.' He leans in and kisses me on the nose.

'Please…' I'm begging. 'It's private. Floyd…'

'Well I love private little things Spencer. Really do love them. Don't disturb us will you?'

I've not changed the bedding yet… Oh… 'Floyd. Let me change the sheets.'

'Naa.. the sheets are just great as they are. I can have Sam read out of this little book and I can lay there and smell the two of you on the bedding. Could it get much better than that? Wake me up with a coffee and maybe something to eat in the morning. We have a long drive.'

I try to snatch it out of his grip but he holds it behind his back and tells me to wrestle him for it. 'The words in there were written at a time of great distress. People say things they…'

He cuts me off. 'People tend to be more honest about their real feelings - if they don't think someone is going to read it especially. They let it all out Babes. If they were written at a time of great distress as you so beautifully put it then I think I'm going to be taken right to the depths of your pained torn aching soul.' Floyd hands my book over to Sam who walks with a skip back down to the bedroom.

'I'm begging you Floyd. It's private. Please don't.'

'Goodnight.' He says to me and turns to go, but then turns back and places a hand on the side of my face. 'You know Spence if I was capable of loving someone it would be you.'

And now he's gone. And in the morning I'm going to die. I think about running away but all I end up doing is sitting on the couch staring at the books and wishing my life was as ordered as they were. I can hear muttering sounds from the bedroom. Oh I hear a lot more than that, but I close my mind down and don't listen. I drink whiskey. I eat some ice cream. I read a few books. I write a few suicide notes which I then rip up and bin. I write a long apologetic letter to Floyd begging for forgiveness for everything I've ever done to annoy him… I rip that up too. I then write a simple note with only three words and that I don't rip. I get up and pick a book which I know Floyd likes and I slip it between the pages. Maybe one day he'll see it. For now… I'll say goodnight. I think I'll need all my wits and strength about me tomorrow.