Thank you for reading the World Traveler Series, the biggest undertaking I have written! I am serious now. This was the last one. LAST ONE. No more. Ever. EVAR. However, I will still write for FFXII, and do my cracky crossovers. So check back on my profile page. Ya never know what you'll find.
Thanks to ElTangoDeRoxanne, fallacies, and emeraldonyxdragon. I luuuuv you!
Alice clanked noisily down the stars of the White Queen's palace in her armor, the Vorpal Sword swinging from her hip. Too late, she realized that she did not know how to use a blade, and now searched for Balthier to teach her. Only, she had run out of time. How she wished she was the Hatter— stuck perennially at teatime ever since he had attempted to murder Time. Alice heard Fran's light, exotic tones from the entrance courtyard, followed by a snort from Balthier. Clanking around the corner, she drew her sword, pressing it against Balthier's back.
"En garde!" Alice shouted. The pirate did not jump, or cry out. He simply turned his head, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye.
"Hello, Alice. Was that meant to be an ambush?" he asked. Alice bit her lip to stop from laughing.
"Yes," she said seriously.
"Well then, it defeats the purpose of an ambush to yell so, m'dear. And, I happen to have not one, but two aces in the hole. Care to try naming them?" Balthier smirked.
Alice tilted her head in thought. "You can't die."
"Yes, that's one of them."
"I don't know the other." Alice admitted, and Balthier's smirk changed into a devilish grin. He lifted his arm, revealing the black tip of a nasty arrow nocked to Fran's bow.
"Imagine, for a moment, you had enough courage to wound me." Balthier said. "As I fell, you would be presented with this lovely gift from Fran. Keep your eyes open and your feet silent— that is the best advice I can give you."
"I don't know how I am to be silent in this." Alice took a step back, her armor rattling. Fran snorted, and Balthier chuckled.
"I remember gallivanting about in full body armor like that in my youth. You figure things out," he said. "I will give you a hint. Lift your feet and walk heel to toe, or get a mount."
Alice smiled thinly, turning to chuck the Bandersnatch under its chin as it sauntered over from a nearby flowerbed. Tarrant perched on its back, but Balthier paled. "I already have my mount, thank you," she said calmly.
"I think we will be taking horses to the Chessboard field," Fran said smoothly. "Balthier is no longer on good terms with the Bandersnatch, I think."
"Not really," Balthier grumbled as he swung himself onto a white horse. Mirana brought her own mount toward them; its hooves daintily clip clopped over the tiles. Fran distastefully took in the White Queen's voluminous gown, lace, frills and petticoats billowing in the wind.
"Her majesty will not be fighting?" Fran asked, the driest amount of humor slipping into her tone.
"I am afraid not, it is against my vows." Mirana replied, bowing her head in deference to the Viera. "But now, shall we go off to war?"
"Won't kill a man, but will let others kill for her. 'Tis a strange world, aye?" Balthier said absently.
"Yes, very," his horse replied.
The two armies filed onto the Chessboard Field, the red Card soldiers on one side, and white chess soldiers on the other. Iracebeth fanned herself with a fan of flamingo feathers, fidgeting nervously. Mirana dismounted gracefully, sweeping forward for a few last words with her sister.
"Hello, Iracebeth, my sister." Mirana curtseyed low, her petticoats fanning in the light breeze.
"Hello." Iracebeth barely looked at her, instead focusing on Alice. "Hello, Um."
Alice slid from the Bandersnatch's back. "Your majesty," she curtseyed with as much grace as she could when her skirt happened to be made out of metal. Iracebeth's lip curled, but when she turned to Balthier, her face was one of enraptured amour.
"Ah, Balthier. I will give you one last chance— you can join me, and I will forgive you and lavish you with all the attentions you could ever want. Or you could stay with that little woman Fran and the even littler woman Mirana, after which I will cut off your head and chop your body into little pieces and put them in separate jars so that you can never regenerate." Iracebeth sighed like a lovesick girl. Balthier rubbed his forehead wearily.
"When your majesty is old and feeble, will a young butterfly like myself want to stay? I would rather think not. Your life will pass before me faster than I can blink, for I will live forever, and you will wither away. I owe my allegiance to no one— not you, not Mirana, and not Alice," he said firmly.
"Then you should run." Iracebeth returned sweetly. "Far, far, away, and pray I never catch you. This is not your fight, so I suggest you don't fight it."
"My fight is not with you," Balthier snapped. "It's with Stayne."
"Please, both of you! We don't have to fight," Mirana said wretchedly. Iracebeth shook her huge head, her haughty look firmly in place.
"No, I think you will find we do. You were always Daddy's favorite— all you had to do was blink your pretty little eyes and he would give you whatever you wanted. You will find it does not work with me. I'm not about to hand it over. I'm the oldest— I get the crown. It's mine."
"Iracebeth…" Mirana sounded as if her heart was breaking.
"Enough. Jabberwocky!" Iracebeth shrieked. "Where's your champion, little sister?"
"Alice, please, come forward." Mirana called. Alice nervously dismounted the Bandersnatch.
"Are you ready?" Tarrant asked, his eyes glowing orange. "You can do it— it's not impossible."
"My father used to believe in six impossible things before breakfast," Alice replied quietly.
"A most noble practice. However, I think you might want to focus on the Jabberwocky. The sword will know its enemy— all you have to do is hold on."
Alice began to walk forward as, in the distance, a hillock seemed to come to life, dust and stone flying off of it. A long, black claw stretched skyward, followed by a spiny wing. Alice did her best to have a stiff lip, but it was hard to look brave when the armor amplified the sound of her shaking knees. As she passed Fran and Balthier, the Viera traced a spell in the air, and Alice felt herself filled with courage.
"Bravery— it will give you the strength to fight. However, when the spell expires, I hope you will have found your own valor." Fran said.
"Good luck," Balthier shrugged.
"That's it?" Alice asked, unable to help but feel slighted at his lack of care.
"What more is there to say? We all know you'll win. The Oraculum said nothing about you dying, and Death was not in your cards." The pirate replied. As Alice marched forth to face the Jabberwock, Fran nudged her partner.
"You mean, Death was not in the cards you showed her," she whispered. Balthier closed his eyes.
"It might not be her. The cards could be referring to the Jabberwocky. Didn't you say that Death was not necessarily death, it was a transformation? Alice doesn't know that, and she doesn't need to see. By withholding that information, we are protecting her. I'm not remorseful, Fran, I'm already a dyed in the wool liar. We both know that, and she does, too," he said, reopening his eyes and focusing on the Jabberwocky stomping toward Alice.
Alice rather thought the Jabberwocky was smaller than she expected. She had grilled Balthier and Fran for all their knowledge about dragons, and listened to their tales of the Hell Wyrm, Yiazmat, Tiamat, Deathgaze, and the Undying. Tarrant had regaled her with stories of the first knight who killed the Jabberwocky.
"What happened to him?" she had asked. Tarrant fidgeted.
"Maybe I shouldn't tell you…"
Alice took that to mean he died. It was not reassuring. We all know you'll win. Balthier had said, but she also knew he was a liar. The Jabberwocky advanced until it towered over her. To her shock, the dragon began to speak.
"So, we meet again, my old enemy," the beast said in a rich, velveteen voice. Alice cowered, the Bravery Spell barely holding against her barrage of emotion.
"I don't think we have ever met before." Alice said, her voice shaking.
"Not you," the Jabberwocky snapped. "The Vorpal Sword. I have not forgotten the feel of its blade."
The next time the beast opened its mouth, a bolt of purple lightning arced at her. Alice barely had time to raise her shield, repelling the attack, but falling to her knees. The Jabberwocky hissed with pleasure, lashing its tail as it circled her. Its jaws snapped dangerously close to her head as she scrabbled backward, Jabberwock saliva flecking her face and armor.
"Tarrant, no!" Mirana cried. Alice looked back just in time to see the Hatter rush forward, a broadsword in hand, and stab it deep into the beast's tail.
"The Hatter interferes! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" Iracebeth shrieked.
"A flea has bitten me!" the Jabberwocky roared, whirling. Tarrant's eyes widened as the black dragon's tail, thick as a tree trunk but sinuous as a snake, came whistling toward him. Balthier leaped off his mount in front of the Hatter, chanting a Protect spell, but even Alice, who had no experience with magick, could tell something was wrong.
A weak, wavering blue shield appeared between Balthier and the Jabberwocky, and the monster's tail smashed into it. The shield shattered like glass with a rock thrown through it. Barely slowing, the Jabberwock's tail slammed into Balthier's stomach. The pirate managed to push Tarrant down before the force of the blow flung him several meters away. Alice heard the crunch of breaking bone and saw the black blood fly, spattering the white chess squares and blending in with the black. Silence reigned supreme.
Fran jumped off her horse, quickly kneeling next to her fallen partner. After a moment, Balthier groaned, turning his head to the side and wincing.
"Fran," he moaned after a moment. "I think my back is broken."
"We'll have to fix that then, won't we, old man?" Fran teased, pressing a hand to his back and channeling healing magick over the break. "From the amount of internal bleeding, I am willing to bet your stomach is shot as well. Why do you put yourself in danger, my Hume?"
"I'm not old." Balthier grumbled. "I really ought to take my own advice when I say that the best intentions invite the worst kind of trouble."
Alice almost laughed with relief until the Hatter yelled, "Alice, concentrate on the Jabberwocky!"
A huge claw crashed down next to her head, throwing up rubble from the ground. Alice rolled out of the way, regaining her feet and fleeing into the ruins near the side of the field. Snarling and hissing, the Jabberwocky followed, throwing soldiers of both sides out of the way. She ducked as the dragon grabbed a nearby card soldier and flung it at her, climbing the ancient stairs.
"I can believe in six impossible things before breakfast. Count them, Alice. One: There is a world called Underland." Alice panted, dodging the Jub-jub bird as it screeched by. "Two: Rabbits can talk and wear clothes." The Jabberwocky screamed, and as if it had a mind of its own, her hand jumped forward, and the Vorpal Sword sliced through the monster's tongue. The Jobberwock took flight once more. "Three: Corpses can walk and talk." Alice lithely jumped over a break in the stairs, just as the Jabberwocky burst through the floor. She kicked it in the nose with a metal booted foot. "Four: there is a cake that can make you grow." Where was the dragon? "Five: Chess pieces and cards can be soldiers." Alice pressed her back to a wall, searching for any sign of the Jabberwocky before dashing for the highest point she could find. "Six: I can slay the Jabberwocky."
Time seemed to slow as the Jabberwocky exploded upward, rearing high over her and blotting out the sun. She raised the Vorpal Sword in her hands, but in a moment of anticlimax, the dragon buffeted her wildly with its wings, throwing her to the ground. The sword clattered away.
"Too bad, little warrior." The Jabberwocky loomed over her like a dark cloud, red eyes glinting. Alice closed her eyes as the fanged mouth opened, teeth ready to dig into her flesh. Those teeth never came. Her world shook as the Jabberwock screamed and stomped its feet, tossing its head wildly. When it lowered its head, Alice caught sight of a black arrow that had magically blossomed out of its eye. Purple blood poured out of the empty socket. Alice dared to look behind her to the Chessboard field, and saw Fran standing proud as an ancient oak, her bowstring humming from the arrow she'd just released.
Alice dove for the Vorpal Sword. "This is your last chance, Alice!" she whispered.
The first strike bit halfway through the dragon's thick hide. The second severed it clean off. Down the stairs the head thumped, rolling over and over, while the body wavered, wings and legs moving in an uncoordinated fashion. Slowly, it slid from the broken stairway to the ground far below.
"At last," she numbly walked down the spiral staircase, careful not to slip in the purple Jabberwock blood coating the white steps. "It is done."
All fighting on the battlefield ceased at the Jabberwocky's death, but for in one place. A vicious battle still raged between Balthier, Tarrant, and the Knave, the pirate and the Hatter both ganging up on Stayne.
Together they drove him to the ground, the final straw that broke the proverbial camel's back being when Balthier drove the toe of his metal shoe into Stayne's groin for the second time in one week. At seeing his opponent on the ground, Tarrant seemed to lose his conviction, dropping his sword and backing away. Balthier, on the other hand, pushed forward, poised for the finishing blow. Alice found that, while the pirate may have killed many people in his long existence, she did not want to see him do it.
"Balthier, stop!" She cried, jumping down the last two steps and dashing across the field.
He paused, his head jerking up to look at her face. Silver eyes bored into sky blue, and Alice wondered if she might end up using the Vorpal Sword on him. Then he smiled, sheathing his sword.
"If that is what you want, Princess, this leading man is hardly enough to stop you." Alice sighed with relief.
"You've lost, Iracebeth." Mirana stepped forward daintily from where she had watched from the sidelines. "I am the ruler now."
Iracebeth squeaked indignantly as the Cheshire cat lifted the crown off her head and placed on Mirana's instead. "Well, I never— someone do something. Off with her head!"
"We'll not listen to you anymore. Bloody big head." One by one, the card soldiers tossed their spears to the ground.
"My lady," Stayne said greasily, climbing to his feet and nursing his manhood. Balthier looked as if he wanted to kick the Knave again, but Fran laid a restraining hand on his shoulder. "Surely, you would see to pardon me."
"Illosovic Stayne… you have committed many crimes in Underland in the past. I am a kind person, but it seems I do not owe you any kindness. You and Iracebeth shall be exiled to the Outlands for the rest of your natural lives from this moment forward." Mirana decreed.
"At least we will still have each other." Iracebeth smiled at him amorously, and Stayne looked horrified. In a flash, he pulled a knife from his belt. Fran lifted her hand from Balthier's shoulder, and the pirate tackled him, dragging the Knave to the ground. Tarrant handcuffed the Red Queen and Stayne together while Valerius searched the Knave for any more weapons. Iracebeth gasped.
"He tried to kill me! He tried to kill me! You can't leave me with him! Mirana!" her screams faded into the distance.
Chessur hovered next to Tarrant's head as he gazed at the shrinking dot that was Iracebeth and Stayne. "Well now, Hatter, don't you have something you need to do?"
"Ah yes… Futterwacken." The Mad Hatter grinned.
"Here is the blood of the Jabberwocky. Drink it, and it will take you home." Mirana handed Balthier, Alice, and Fran each a vial of purple blood.
"But you don't have to go. You could stay with us!" Tarrant said, looking hopeful. Alice smiled sadly.
"I would love to stay, Hatter, but there are things I have to do, business that needs finishing. Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it," she whispered, leaning forward. Tarrant closed his eyes.
"Alice, I don't want you to forget me again." he choked.
"I won't. How could I, after all we've been through?"
"Promise?"
"I promise." Alice said. "Balthier, are you and Fran going back to your world, too?"
"I'm afraid so. Ivalice cannot be without her leading man for long." Balthier grinned. Fran nodded.
"We have several… investments that need monitoring." She explained.
"Perhaps I shall lock myself away in my cabin for the rest of eternity," Balthier said. "I've quite enough adventure for a lifetime. Though, maybe in a century or two, I might feel differently, eh?"
"You were never one to sit still." Fran said, uncorking her vial. "Shouldn't we be going now?"
"I was never one for long goodbyes." Balthier followed her example; tilting his head back and swallowing the contents of the vial in one go. He grimaced. "I say, that was the worst blood I have ever tasted."
The air around them warped, simply as if a mirage passed in front of them, but in one moment, they were gone. Alice felt as if her heart was breaking as she followed their example.
"Be back soon?" Tarrant asked.
"I promised." Alice replied. She uncorked the vial and took a sip.
Alice tumbled out of the rabbit hole, coughing. Her blue dress was ruined— what would her mother say? Nothing good, of course.
"Oh… the wedding…" she mumbled. How she did not want to go back. A thought suddenly occurred to her.
"This is not my dream, but this is my future."
We have several… investments that need monitoring...
"Investments, is it?"
The end.