Author's Note: I don't own anything.

Chapter 11: Goodbye, Lioness

February 440 H.E.

It didn't last.

Well, it did, for about two months. They enjoyed their new-found desire for each other. Alanna had a secret hope that it might lead to a rekindling of love. Because then, the awful longing ache in her heart would go away and she could be happy. She could stop thinking about her life. She wished she could return to an unexamined life, where she didn't constantly question her decisions.

But slowly, as if their desire was a spell that only lasted until midnight, it wore off. Not so much as wore, but just stopped. One morning, they woke up among the rumpled bedclothes and looked at each other and simultaneously blushed.

For two months, they had canoodled and hadn't once fought. All hard feelings against Jon, irritation included, were gone, but now they were back with a vengeance. This led to a huge dispute, in the throne room, in front of several people. Luckily, most of those people were trusted friends. Alanna had stomped away, followed by Thayet and Buri, and shut herself in her chambers. They still hadn't quite made up from it yet.

Thayet, in attempts to brighten Alanna's sour mood, had regaled them with tales of her various suitors, from the absurd to the absurdly romantic. Those desperately trying to win Thayet still included Raoul of Goldenlake, but now consisted of a Hollyrose, the second oldest Queenscove, a Masbolle, and Thom of Trebond. Gary had married Lady Cythera. Alanna had been shocked to hear of her twin brother's suit, and was not offended that Thayet did not favor him. Thom and Thayet would have been a disastrous couple. Buri had, thankfully, recovered from her crush on George Cooper, and Alanna no longer had to grit her teeth through her mooning over him.

"I hear he's getting married," Buri offered, sighing just a tad wistfully. Alanna stiffened. "But it's just a rumor. I think he's still fighting those rogue Rogues." Buri chuckled a little at her pun.

Alanna said nothing. It had been quite some time since she'd seen George, but he'd looked thinner and more haggard the last time. The man named Claw was still disrupting the Rogue, and the people of the city were beginning to panic. The Provost Guards and the Rogue had always worked together to keep order in the city, and throughout the kingdom, but now with this chaos, order was starting to run amok. Jon had wanted to make George a baron, and make him his spymaster, but couldn't afford to unseat George from the Rogue throne and have this lawless Claw take it.

Thayet giggled. "It's funny to hear you sound like a love-struck maid, Buriram."

Buri scowled. "I am not a love-struck maid. When you're married, O princess, I'll be off on great adventures, and men won't even cross my mind."

"Warrior-maidenhood, here you come," Thayet teased.

Alanna laughed, but felt an odd lurch in her stomach. It was strange to hear something she used to say from the lips of another. She took a long swig of wine in front of her, having lost the taste for ale recently.

"I never managed it, but I hope you do, Buri."

"You wanted to be a warrior maiden?" Buri sounded a bit incredulous.

Alanna nodded. "All I wanted was to be a knight. A husband was the opposite of my goal. If I got married, no one would let me ride off and save people. And later on, I didn't want to fall in love, because I certainly didn't want to let someone have that kind of power over me."

It was the first time Alanna had ever admitted that out loud, and it startled her. She'd never voiced that or even thought it, but now, as she wished she could stuff her words back in her mouth, she knew it was true.

But she'd let down that barrier, she argued with herself. She'd loved Jon…and George. She hadn't loved Liam. She'd liked him, and loved him physically.

"Apparently, Jon had some kind of magic trick up his sleeve then, didn't he?" chuckled Buri.

"Jon?" Alanna furrowed her brow. "Oh, right, Jon. Of course, Jon."

Thayet watched her carefully, and Alanna hastily changed the subject.

"So who's the lucky man for you, Thayet?"

Thayet blushed, crimson flushing her beautiful cheeks. "I haven't decided. I just…they're nice, but I don't love any of them."

"Do you even like any of them? I think you should marry Raoul," asked Buri, scowling. Neither Alanna nor Thayet missed the hot blush that colored Buri's neck when she said Raoul's name.

"Raoul's rather nice," Thayet admitted. "He's the only one I'd consider. I mean, I seriously thought about Gary, but he's married now. It's just…I still would like to be common-blood, and not have to marry someone I don't…want to."

"Then don't get married," Alanna said.

"What?" Thayet blinked.

"Don't get married," Alanna shrugged. "If you don't want to get married, don't let yourself be forced into it. Look at me."

"But you love Jon," argued Thayet weakly.

Alanna waved that away. "I still didn't want to get married."

The women sat quietly for a moment, contemplating both past and present decisions. Alanna thought about Jon and their marriage, and how Jon still wanted children. Thayet thought about marriage and love, and vainly tried to keep her thoughts away from the person she knew she was falling for, but could never have. Buri thought about Raoul and the way the big man laughed and teased her, and how he probably never would even pause to consider her that way. Luckily, Buri was the only one whose disposition never let her suffer long over the trials of the heart. She could shrug away those sorts of melancholy, usually after a good long dose of physical activity.

"Let's go to the practice courts. Alanna, you promised you'd spar with me."

Gratefully, the others quickly rose and fetched their weapons.

Alanna had just gotten into the pattern, and could feel the satisfying burn of her muscles, when her stomach convulsed. Without warning, Alanna ran over to the side of the practice court and vomited.

Wiping her mouth, Alanna remained leaning over. Thayet and Buri hurried over to make sure she was alright.

"Are you sick?" asked Thayet.

Alanna shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Well. Do you feel like you're going to… again?"

Alanna gingerly touched her stomach. "No. I feel fine now."

"Maybe it was too soon after breakfast," Buri suggested.

"Could be," Alanna said, thinking that it was logical. "Let's go." She turned and headed back onto the court.

"Are you sure?" asked Thayet worriedly. "I mean, it might not be that. Alanna, it could be that—"

"That what?" Alanna snapped. Their eyes met and Alanna knew what Thayet was thinking, and Thayet knew that Alanna had already thought of it. Alanna shook her head.

"I'm fine. Really. Forget it, okay?"

Thayet hesitated, knowing that she shouldn't allow her friend to do strain herself physically if…

"Please?" Alanna added, her violet eyes pleading. If she was…that, than sooner or later she'd have to give this up, and she wasn't ready to do that yet.

Thayet acquiesced, against her better judgment, to the desperation in her friend's eyes. But when they faced off, Thayet's blows were gentler towards Alanna. Alanna noticed, and finally sent Thayet to the targets for archery.

Soaking in the hot water later, Alanna began counting days. She counted again. She counted backwards. She counted forwards. If she knew how to count sideways, she would have done that. Panic beginning to grip her stomach, she realized that she had missed her period. As she started to count in Scanran, Faithful entered the room.

You've never had a head for mathematics, but if you count again, I'll scratch you, threatened Faithful.

"It just…can't—no—it just can't…" Alanna stuttered, afraid to admit aloud.

It can, you nincompoop, Faithful yawned. Did you think that you'd be immune just because you're a legend? After the charm came off, you hadn't an ounce of protection against it. I expected it sooner, while you two were mooning over each other like love-sick puppies.

"I was not mooning," Alanna said hotly.

Yes, you were. But it's not your fault. I watched Stone Mountain pour a love draught into your and Jon's ale. Pity you and Jon decided you both didn't like ale anymore. I expect he used one of those potions that eventually turn the drinker away from it.

Alanna swore. Burchard of Stone Mountain was an avid conservative, and she had heard of his tirades against her. Anger bubbled deep within her. She felt tricked and dirty and cheap. Someone thought that they would need to use magic to get her into Jon's bed. It didn't make her possible conception of an heir seem valid—it would make her look worse, she knew. But what was worse, and what worried her more than a crazy pouring love potions into her beverages was the thought she had been fighting earlier. "Why would he do that? And why didn't you tell me?"

He figured that if you were so in love with Jon, you would give up your shield. And it increased the likelihood that you would get pregnant. You were too busy mooning to listen to a cat.

Ignoring her pet's jibe about mooning, Alanna growled. "Are having heirs all they ever think about?"

Well, yes. But it would put you out of the practice courts for awhile.

"Goddess!" she swore.

In a flash, she was out of the water. She dressed hurriedly, pulling on her breeches and shirt and cramming her hair up into a cap. She was out the door, Faithful at her feet.

Where do you think you're going?

"City."

Faithful paused for a moment. Well, if you're going to Eleni, remember she's not at Myles' house.

Alanna halted. "She's not?" She frowned. Myles and Eleni were due to be married soon. True, there were whispers that Myles and Eleni had taken advantage of their living situation for doings that were supposed to wait until wedlock. But that couldn't be helped because of that Claw fellow who'd been desperately attacking anyone close to the Rogue King, in order to take his throne.

She insists on living in her own home for the last month before their wedding. Despite the warnings of her son and future husband.

"Thank you."

Alanna took off running again for the stables. She hurriedly saddled and mounted Moonlight; she rode out of the courtyard before anyone could register that it was the queen riding that furiously.

It took Alanna little time to find Eleni Cooper's house. She leapt off the mare and quickly tied her reins to the horse post behind the house. She knocked hesitantly on the door, then more forcefully when there was no answer. Finally, just as she was about to break the door down to make sure Eleni was alright, the woman opened the door. Alanna pulled her cap off.

"Alanna!" said her future mother-in-law. "I mean, Your Majesty," she quickly amended.

"No, no. Just Alanna, please," the redhead insisted. "I can't stand the title from people who know me before. And you're almost my mother."

Eleni smiled tightly. Alanna noticed that the woman was paler and moved slower than usual.

"Are you alright, Mistress Cooper?" Alanna asked timidly.

"Quite fine," the healer replied. She sounded rather cross. "Are you here for just a chat or anything in particular? I am somewhat busy."

Alanna hung her head. She hadn't meant to disrupt anything, but Eleni was the only one she trusted with her secret. She needed to know whether or not her suspicions were correct. Why was Eleni angry with her? Could she have done something wrong? Was it because Alanna had married Jon, and not George?

"I do need your help, please."

"Then, come in and shut the door behind you. You won't mind if I don't offer tea, will you?"

"No. Don't trouble yourself, please, Mistress Cooper."

Eleni gestured for Alanna to have a seat in the kitchen, while she bustled about, grabbing an herb, stirring a large pot.

"Well?" she asked, not looking at the queen.

"I'm sorry."

"What?" Surprised, Eleni whirled around.

"Well, this isn't why I'm here, but I might as well say it," Alanna's words rushed out. "I'm sorry I didn't marry George."

Eleni's shock fell away and was replaced by tenderness.

"Oh, darling," she said softly. Alanna kept her face down, but Eleni lifted her chin. The older woman paused, sensing something with her Gift, but ignored it for a moment. "No one is angry at you for that. Yes, I did want you for a daughter-in-law, I won't lie, but it wasn't my decision to make. If the Goddess meant for a woman like you to take on this kingdom, then who am I to stand in the way? Alanna, I hold no grudge, and neither does George."

Alanna moved her gaze away from the woman's face, embarrassed. The Goddess didn't approve of her marrying Jonathan. Eleni gently ran her fingers through Alanna's copper curls. She could see how lost the young woman was, and how well she hid it.

"Besides, I still get you for a daughter in a month's time. Now, you came here for another reason, surely."

Alanna couldn't find the words to express what she desperately didn't want to be true. "I…well, I think…it might be possible…"

"That you are pregnant? Because you are."

"I am?"

Eleni nodded, smiling. "Congratulations." She placed her hand on Alanna's abdomen. "You're about six weeks in, meaning that you likely will start having morning sickness."

"How do you know?"

"My Sight, dear. I have a healing Gift and a sense of Sight that allows me to see these sorts of things."

"So, George got his Sight from you then," Alanna thought aloud.

"He told you?" Eleni's brow furrowed. Alanna nodded, puzzled. "George doesn't often tell people that he's Gifted." She sighed. "Yes, he got it from me. I don't think his father possessed any magic, but I can't be entirely sure."

"I see," said Alanna in a small voice. It hurt worse to know George trusted her that much.

"Here, my dear. Now that you're expecting, I'll be up to the palace helping you. I'm sure Thayet will know plenty, but you'll need me for the hard stuff. I'll write you a list of foods that you are not allowed to eat. Anything with alcohol is right out. Vegetables are excellent…"

Eleni's instruction went on and on, and Alanna barely listened. Luckily, the healer wrote it all down for her and tucked it into her pocket.

"Good luck, Alanna," she said as she hugged her soon-to-be stepdaughter. As she rode away, Eleni threw up a prayer to her patroness. "Goddess, keep your hand gently upon her. She'll need it yet."

Alanna did not go straight to Jon after she left Mistress Cooper's. She dawdled. She slowly turned Moonlight back to the palace, gazing longingly at the Dancing Dove as she rode past. Once she reached the royal stables, she thoroughly groomed Moonlight. She even cleaned the saddle and bridle and bit and reins and girth and stirrups. Then, when Stefan shooed her out, she walked slowly through the palace, pausing to study the tapestries and paintings as if she'd never seen them before.

She went to the pages' and squires' mess hall to see if they would have any lunch. Duke Gareth and the lads all rose and bowed to their queen. She bade them sit and went for a tray. However, when she sat down, she realized that all the food she had asked for was on the list of things not to eat. She rose, and gave the tray back to the kitchen staff, telling them not to put it to waste.

Finally, unable to bear the secret any longer, Alanna entered Jon's receiving chamber.

"I have something to tell you."

"Alanna, not now." Jon didn't even look up from the piles of documents scattered across the table.

"It's important."

"Of course it is," he snapped. "Everything's important. The tax increase is important. The unemployment rate is important. The education of commoners is important. The color of the new wall is important. The fly on the new wall is important. The left buttock of the scullery maid is important."

"Is it now?" Alanna asked impertinently. "And I suppose the coming of your future child is not important?"

"I didn't mean—" Jon started to apologize. "Wait, did you just say 'future child'?"

"I also said 'coming'. But that's not as important as a fly on the wall or the maid's left buttock." Alanna turned and briskly left the room.

"Alanna! Alanna! Wait!" she heard Jon behind her. She turned and faced him, her one fair eyebrow raised.

"Did you—did you mean that you're—you're…?" Jon asked, his hands spread in front of him. Alanna could see the ink stains on them, as well as on his shirt. His blue eyes were lit with hope.

"Yes, Jon," she whispered. "I'm pregnant."

Jon's whoop of joy caught her by surprise. Her husband picked her up and swung her around and kissed her firmly on the lips.

"Oh, Alanna, I love you."

"I love you too, Jon," she laughed, rolling her eyes. "If I knew you would be this happy, I should have become pregnant long ago."

"But you had to be ready," he said earnestly, setting her back on her feet.

"I'm not sure I'm entirely ready, Jon," Alanna said. "But it's happening, and I can't do anything about it. So I'm along for the ride."

"A baby!" he whispered. He knelt, reverently touched her stomach. "Thank you, Mithros and Merciful Mother," Jon breathed, closing his eyes as if he were praying. "Thank you." He put his face against his wife's stomach. Alanna gently stroked his coal black hair, glad at least that he was happy.

-x-x-x-

"You called for me, Your Majesty?"

Alexander of Tirragen stood in the doorway. Alanna and Jon were sitting in his chambers, Alanna on his desk, Jon holding her stomach. He had, over the past two days, developed a habit of laying his palms across her uterus as if he were willing the unborn infant to kick his hand.

"Ah, yes. Come in, come in, Alex."

Alex entered, and slowly approached them.

"Your Majesties." He bowed elegantly. "Jon, you wished to have a private word?"

"Actually, Alanna, it is good you're here now. Duke Gareth and I have been discussing the matter of Champion," he said to both of them.

"I'm Champion," Alanna said quickly. And she was. She'd already fought three duels in the capacity of Champion, and had won all of them.

"Yes, for now. But we realized that in the case of you being… unable to fulfill your duties—"

"Begging your pardon, Jon, the whole court knows the queen is expecting," Alex said coolly.

Alanna turned red and Jon grinned widely. "Rumor does move quickly."

"You did yell something about a baby rather loudly in front of people, you dolt," Alanna teased, knowing that Jon would only grin, prouder than a peacock.

Alex interrupted. "You are asking me to be the replacement Champion?"

Jon blinked, surprised that Alex had jumped straight to the topic.

"Yes."

"Why?" Alex's question was softly spoken, but there was a cutting edge to it.

"You're the best for the position, Alex."

"The 'best'?" Alex's eyes glinted coldly. "I wouldn't say that. If I were best, than I'd already be Champion."

Jon recognized the danger, but did not understand the malice. "Alex, Alanna was chosen for Champion by me, because of her renown and for her skill. In my opinion, you are equal to her skill."

"I don't want the Lioness' leavings, while she's birthing cubs."

Alanna felt a growl building up in her throat. Ever since he had almost killed her, she had a strong distrust for Alex. That distrust was growing into dislike.

"Please, Alex. It's only temporary," Jon asked. "I have another assignment in mind for you, one at which there is none other that could perform it to your ability. But I need you for this."

Seeming to be acquiesced, Alex bowed. "As you wish." He turned on his heel and left.

"He was rotten to you."

Jon sighed. "He's angry that he hasn't been able to prove how good he is. It's a matter of pride to him. I don't think he's ever recovered from discovering you were a girl—and could best him. Don't worry about Alex. He'll come round."

"So what now then? He plays at Champion, while I sit on my bum?"

"Eating bon-bons," Jon said teasingly.

"No," Alanna shook her head. "I'll be in the practice yards 'till the very end."

"You will not!" Jon's voice was harsh.

"But Jon!"

"No buts, Alanna. We can't risk your health, or the baby's." His voice softened. "It'll only be until he's born. Then you can get right back on Moonlight and start beating off conservatives. With a baby, you can show them that you can do your duty as queen and a knight. Then I'll send Alex off to prove his worth, and you'll be Champion. It's simple, Lioness."

Alanna crossed her arms. She did not like this. But, she thought as she looked down at her stomach, it will be over soon. Nine months. That's not too long, right? Nine months of doing absolutely nothing. No Moonlight, no swords, no practice.

Goodbye, Lioness. Hello, House Cat, she thought grimly.

I know it's been awhile, but review, please! With whipped cream and sprinkles and a cherry on top!