Why Me? That is the Question!

AN: I do not own the character in this story only the story line. Some of the facts are based off of true life events. The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Please note that this story contains adult themed ideas. Not for anyone under 18.

Bella's English story is in bold italic.

So this is late FF was having trouble. I am working Chapter 4 now.

Chapter 3 Answer To Questions

For the first time in a long time I finally sleep through the night with out waking up screaming. I don't know if it is because of the change of scenery or having some one to talk with. I know Alice and I just meet but there is something about her that I feel totally comfortable.

Now my dreams were for once not about my past. They had to do with Alice and I going shopping and hanging out at the mall all day just being girls. But for some reason Edward was in my dream too. He was just the way he was in class there but not pushing into my life. It is it unsettling that he didn't make me feel afraid. Now I really have to find out more about him. I have to know how far I have to stay away for him outside of class. At least there I have the other students and the teacher to help me if things go bad.

After I got dressed for school I came down stairs with a smile on my face and for once it was not forced. Charlie seemed to notice too.

"Good morning Dad. So what do you want for breakfast?"

Good morning Bells. Do you have time to make biscuits and gravy? I am going to be late coming home and I would like to have a meal that sticks with me."

"Biscuits and gravy it is. If Alice wants to come over tonight is it ok? I know it is a school night but I would like to not be alone."

"Sure Bells. I know her family. She comes from a really good family. Matter of fact both her parents work at the hospital here in Forks. You never know when it will come in handy have an in with the locate doctors."

"Very funny Dad, I have not had any need for an ER for a long time now; I am not planning on start that again here."

"Sorry Bells, I just had to joke about it. I remember all of those time you ended up in the ER in Phoenix. I am glad you have out grown. Please don't be mad."

"It's ok Dad, I know you were only playing around. Maybe if Alice comes over tonight I will be able to learn more about her family."

"I am glad you have found some to hang out with Bella. Maybe I will be able to meet Alice another time."

It was nice that I can joke around with Charlie because I really have missed his smile and laughter. I am now curious about her family. They seem to be really nice. I mean if Charlie thinks highly of them they must be. He will tell you how he feels about everyone even if you don't want to know.

Breakfast went by really fast and it was nice to be able to sit and talk with Charlie. For once we both weren't walking on egg shells around each other.

"Well Bells breakfast was great. You sure are going to make me spoiled with all these home cooked meals. I have good day and school. Also call me when you get home and let me know if Alice was able to come over. I will see you later tonight."

"Thanks Dad. I am glad I can get you to eat more then take out and junk food. I will let you know when I get home. Have fun catching the bad guys today."

He walked out the door and I went to my room to grab my stuff to head out for school. I figured I would get there early to see I can work on more of my story. I need to get as much as I could done on the off chance that Alice can come over tonight.

I was able to get to school about 45 minutes before it should start so I sat back down at my bench with notebook in hand to continue.

During my ride home from the ER I decided that the gang members must have picked me because of the way I looked because that was the only thing that made sense. So what could I do to change that? I was to young for hair dye and I really didn't want to cut my hair but I think that will be my starting point. Now I just had to figure out how to tell my mom that I want to cut most of my hair off.

Once we got home Charlie was there with a worried expression. Renee was able to tell him that I slipped on the floor with the knife in my hand and some how while falling or when I hit the ground the knife cut my arm. He didn't question me falling since I did that three to four time a day. I still think Renee really knows what I tried but I was sticking to my story. So after awhile she stopped asking for the truth. I think it really hurt her that I saw no other way out but to end my life and what ever was bothering must be really big for that to be my only choice.

The following week I talked to Renee about getting my hair cut. Since I am having nightmare every night my hair is knotting at the base of my neck and it takes a good 30 minutes every morning to unknot it. So she agreed it would be more practical but she would miss my long thick brown hair. I told Renee that it would grow back in time. So "operation destroy image" was in full swing.

I also decide I was going to control the only other way to change the way I looked my weight. I figured if I was fat that no one of the male race will look at me. I know it seem extreme but I would not go through that again ever.

Luck was on my side for this because puberty hit at the same time so the over eating was looked past as I was going through a growth spurt. The only thing is I was slowing down on my growth. So for the next two years I tried to stay about 180 pounds which is way over weight for some one is 5' 2". The boys left me alone only to tease me about my weight which was fine by me. I was not going to complain. The only down fall with puberty was the way my body changed also. I would have been happy to stay flat as a boy in the chest area, but no God decided I was go to have curves. But I hid them under big baggy clothes as much as I could because they would have drawn attention that I didn't want.

When I start seventh grade my female hormones decided that I had hidden long enough and I wanted to get boy attention. This meant that I would have to lose the weight that I was carrying around the last few years. I try just watching what I was eating and normal exercising but it just was not coming off fast enough. So I stopped eat all together. I had gotten good at hiding things from my family so I was able to get around this. Meals like dinner I would return the food or just throw it away and lunches were at school so I just saved the money my parents were given me. Breakfast was harder because everyone was in the kitchen in the mornings so I would try and take it with me to school and toss it as soon as I could. I was down to 125 pounds by the end of the school year. I was definitely getting the boys to notice me.

The start of my eighth grade year I met Jacob Black. He was the first male that I let get close to me after every thing. Jacob was the first person I told every thing that I had been through also. It was so nice to be able to talk about it. It felt like was finally starting to heal from everything. He didn't judge me for trying to end my life and for what they did to me. I was really falling for him. But he was going out with my best friend so we remind friends. When he broke up with her he asked me out. I was so happy but it was short lived. We decided together it was like kissing a sibling. Which was fine with me but I was still allowed to flirt with him and not worry where it was going to lead. He enjoyed being able to flirt back just as much as I did. He really helped me give the male race another shot.

For the rest of eight and ninth grade I dated a few guys but they never knew what I had been through and I was not allowing anything beyond kissing. That caused few of them to leave me but that was fine because I knew they didn't really care for me. If I ever need a shoulder to cry on or just to talk about every thing Jacob was there for me no matter what. He would leave is girlfriend just to talk with me if I needed. They all knew we were close but nothing more the friends so they didn't fight him on it.

During the Christmas holiday break Jacob and I were outside talking about things that had happened to me because I was having nightmares again. The nightmares would stop once what ever was causing me to freak out was off my chest. We both didn't see Renee standing by the backdoor. She heard most of what had happened and asked if I was willing to tell her everything. Jacob said I really should it would explain a lot about why I acted the way have the last few years.

So I asked if we could go some where that Charlie would not hear us talking. She agreed. So we went for a drive and during this time I told her everything from the attack, to the suicide attempt, and image changes I made to hide from them. She asked me if I was willing to go to counseling. I was not and I didn't want Charlie to know. I knew he would blame everything on himself. Renee didn't push me because I found out she understood what I had been through. She had been raped during high school. She told me that she had an idea that I had been through something but I would not open up about and she knew she couldn't force it out. I promised her I would come to her from now on if I had any problems.

When we got home Charlie knew something was up because I was in tears. Renee told him it was a female thing and everything is ok now. He let it go for now.

Renee ended up telling him what had happened but I didn't know for a few months. After Charlie was told what happened he got me into the group of kids my age that would be volunteering with the police department. I would also be learning how to protect myself. I thought it was odd that he was worried about my safety now. I figured he wanted me to know how to protect myself since I was getting ready to go into high school.

This group is called the Explores. It is a group of kids around high school age that wants to go into law enforcement as a career. They have mentors that are current police officers. So Charlie figured it would get me around people my age and be in a highly controlled setting. They would do volunteer parking details, fingerprinting, fund raisers for the department, and small training exercises that would give us the idea of what the police officer's training is really like. This way we could change our minds now if it was not something we could handle. This group should be a safe place for me right? That is what Charlie believed since he knews the mentors personally and they were told to look out for me.

After I started Charlie told me he got an offer that he could not turn down but the problem was it Washington state. I didn't understand why he was going by himself, but after he was gone Renee told me that she told him what had happened. Like I thought he was blaming himself for everything. Charlie was also mad because there would be no way to find out who did it and press charges against them. With no physical evident like DNA or fibers there no way to link any one to the rape plus it had been more then four years. Charlie really wanted to be able to put them in jail for hurting me but since he couldn't he felt like he failed me as a father. Plus I found out they had been fighting for awhile. This was the straw that broke the camels back. Why does it seem like everyone that knows what happened to me is blaming them selves for the rape.

I was so mad at him for lying to me about why he left but I understood because it had taken me years to adjust to what had happened to me. Now the group made since because he wanted me to be able to stop it from happening again and he was not going to be here to watch out for me.

The Explores was really fun and I was able to meet people my age. I was not the only female in the group. We had squads just like they do on the police force. We had to follow dress code and conducted ourselves as adults when we were out in public. I had a few male friends in the group which was fun because I could flirt with them and they knew I was just flirting nothing more. There were two guys that showed me that they wanted to me more then friends while we were all together. But I told them that I was not planning on dating any one any time soon. They both backed off but stayed close.

Just I was starting to feel live again I let the wrong man into my life.

I was so caught up in my writing I didn't see Alice sit down across from me until she coughed to let me know she was there.

"Hey Alice, I am sorry I didn't see you sit down. This English paper is causing me to tune out everything else."

"It's ok I just sat down. So how are you doing today Bella?

"I am actually doing so much better and I still have to say thank you. You saved me yesterday. I was wondering can you come over after school. Charlie has to work late and I would like to have someone to talk with? It is ok if you can't because I know this is last minute and all."

"Bella I would love to. I will just have to let my family know. They should not have any problems with me coming over. But I will let you know for sure in English if that is ok."

"Alice again you are a life saver. I hate being by myself if I can help it."

"Well we should start heading to class but I will let you know by English. What are you doing for lunch?"

"Oh, I will be in the library working on this paper. Like I said it is taking up most of my time but I will not work on it tonight so we can just have some girl time. Ok?"

"That sounds like fun but I will have to run home real fast before I come over if I don't go during lunch to pick up a few things. I will see in English, Bella."

"See you in English Alice."

My morning classes when really fast. I don't know if it is because I was looking forward to hear Alice answer or seeing Edward again. If I was honestwith myself it was to see Edward again. I was not happy with that answer. This has to stop I can't much more pain in my life.

During lunch I sat in the library editing what I wrote before school started. I really was not in the mood to add more not with having to deal with the rest of the day. If for some reason Alice couldn't come over I didn't want to freak myself out about the past. So I made it to biology early. No one else was there so I was able to talk with the teacher. He was glad to know I came from an advance biology class in Phoenix so I was not behind. He also told be Edward was just as knowledgeable so it was good we got partnered together. He now understood why we were able to complete yesterday's lab with all the right answers. He was afraid Edward had done it all.

I sat at my lab wait for class to start. I was only sitting here for just a few minutes when Edward took his seat.

"Good afternoon Edward."

"Hello Bella."

"I spoke with the teacher a few minutes ago and we where the only ones to complete the lab yesterday with 100%. He also thought you did all of it. I told him I was in advance biology back at my old school."

"I am glad we are partners then. That way the work will split and I am not doing it all. I really need to get a good grade in this class for college."

"Oh, what do you want to major in if you don't mind me asking?"

"That's fine I don't mind answering. I want to go into medicine. I have not decided what I want to master in yet but as long as I can help others I will be happy. What do you want to major in college if it is ok to ask you Bella?"

"I have two dreams. The first is English; I am hoping one day to write my own books. The second is medicine also but I want to work with children that have become victims of crimes. They need a voice and someone to stand up for them."

"Wow, it sounds like you have a strong passion behind that. With that much passion I see you going far in that field. Not knowing anything about you I have a feeling you will go after both and succeed in both with as much passion you have for them."

"Thank you Edward, I see you going far in what ever field you choose."

Right then the teacher called class to order. He was explaining the plant cells which I already know so I was able to think about what Edward and I just talked about. I have never told anyone about what I wanted to do with my life. My parents just assumed I was going after an English major with my love for books, which is only partly right. He seemed to be walking on egg shells when he was asking me questions. I know it is just rude to ask but that doesn't stop must people. He seemed like he really care to hear my thoughts on it too. Why would he care? All he knows is just a few minor details about when I came from before here and my name. It's just weird. So I hope Alice can answer some of my questions about him tonight if she is coming over.

Class seemed to fly by way to fast and I was saying goodbye to Edward again. I was not use to the male race not hitting on me.

So I almost ran to my English class to see if Alice was there and had talked with her parents. I was the first one there so I am going to have to wait for her. I can barely sit still watching the door.

Alice saw me looking for her so she came and sat right down.

"So Bella do you think Charlie will object to me spending the night? So I wouldn't have to drive home late at night."

"Alice you mean you can come over tonight. I don't see why you can't stay the night. I will ask when I get home. I have to call him any ways. He didn't want me being alone either. So do you have to go home after school or are you coming right over?"

"I was able to go home during lunch and picked up what I needed, so we can go straight to your house. The only thing my parents ask if there was going to be any boys around. I told them Chief Swan would not stand for that in his house so there was not going to be any males except for Chief Swan when he got home."

"That sounds like great parents and trusting. Charlie said he respected your parents greatly and he is so happy we are friends. I have to tell you; you have made the move here much easier then I thought it was going to be. So what do you want to eat and do tonight?"

"Anything for food I really don't care. As for what to do I will have to think about that. What were you thinking about doing since studying is out of the question?"

"Movie, food, and girl talk. I have so many questions I want to ask you but it will have to wait."

Right then the bell rang for class to start. In classes we went over from of Shakespeare's greatest works. We will be studying his work for the next few weeks. I am going to love this class. But right now I really want school to be over with so Alice and I can hang out. I so need to get some answers I just hope she can answer them.

When the bell rang Alice told be she would meet me at my truck so she could follow me to my house. Now all I have to do is survive gym. In Phoenix gym was only required through tenth grade and if you chose not to part take in sports you didn't have to continue. Oh well, I at least have something to look forward to after class so I would keep that happy thought.

By the end of class coach had bench me. My new job for now will be score keeping. I will have to learn each sport but will not have to play. I think the guy's name was Mike but anyways he took a beating all because of me. I would not be surprised if he doesn't have a black eye. I swung at the tennis ball missing it completely but I didn't see Mike step up behind me to catch it if I missed and the racket hit him right in the face. I felt so bad but the coach would not listen when I tried to tell him it was not a good idea. So I will no longer be dreading gym but I will have to apologize to Mike tomorrow.

After I changed I sped walked to my truck. I was trying to leave before the whole school new what happened to Mike. The only problem with that is Lauren was in my gym class and she has the biggest mouth in school. So everyone pretty much knew I whacked Mike.

Like Alice promised she was waiting by my truck. I could tell she wanted to hear what happened from me.

"Alice, can we talk about what happened once we get to my house I promise to tell you every thing?" I was blushing so bad I just wanted to hide. Thankfully she understood.

"Sure Bella just lead the way."

I jumped into my truck and made it out of the school parking lot in one piece. I noticed Alice was driving a new car. There were only two new cars in the parking lot. I am not surprised since both of her parents worked at the hospital. I wonder who drove the other one? Just one more question to ask Alice.

Alice was able to follow me to my house.

"Hey Bella can you help me bring some of my stuff inside?"

"Sure Alice, what can I help you will?"

Right then I walked up to the back seat of her car and there was so much stuff I was beginning to wonder if she was just moving in with me and not just spending one night.

"Alice what is all this stuff? I mean don't get me wrong it looks like you are moving in not staying one night."

"Bella I figured out what I want to do tonight. Since it is a girl's night how about makeovers?"

"Alice do you really think I need a makeover? Never mind don't answer that since you brought all of this with you. I will tell you it has been a few years since I have done any of this."

"Bella I promise nothing major. You are pretty already I'm just going to help show you how to play up your beauty."

"Thank you Alice. I think tonight will be a step in the right direction. Let me show you my room and then I will call Charlie."

With my help Alice was able to get every thing into my room. She started to set up everything while I went down stairs to call Charlie.

"Charlie it is me Bella."

"Hey Bells, how was school today?"

"As if you don't already know what I did to poor Mike Newton, Dad. But Alice will be here with me tonight but can she spend the night? Her parents would prefer she did drive home to late tonight. Her parents are fine with it as long as we have no boys over."

"Bella that is fine. I am glad because I would be worried too. I have no idea when I will be able to get out of here anyways. You two have fun and I agree no boys."

"Very funny the only boy I know I just gave him a black eye I am sure he will not be coming around me any time soon. I love you Dad. Be safe please. Bye."

"I love you too Bella. Tell Alice thank you for me and I will meet her in the morning if you two are already asleep by the time a get home. Bye."

I walked up stairs to my room to see it had been changed into a mini salon. It is amazing she was able to do all of this during that short call to Charlie.

"Alice, are you sure you brought enough stuff with you?"

"Bella this doesn't even count for an eighth of want I left at my house. I am looking into fashion as my major in college so I started collecting early. Besides I need all of this to do our makeovers. So are you ready for Bella Barbie?"

"Alice I am only agreeing to this because I trust you but please don't make me look like Barbie blonde is not my color at all. Plus it will drop my IQ. Oh, Charlie said it was fine with staying the night he was glad because he didn't want you driving home later tonight either. So where do you start?"

"Bella I am going to have to see what I am starting with so do you mind changing into a pair of shorts and tank top. It will help me see where to start. I promise no pictures or comments, but if for some reason things are said tonight nothing will leave this room. I enjoy having your friendship to much to ruin it. Please you have to dish on what you did to Mike anyways."

"Alice, remember I am new to this so take it easy. As for shorts and tank top I don't own any."

"Bella you came from the Valley of the Sun and you don't have those items. I think I have some thing that will fit and will do just as good."

"Alice I don't like showing off my body to the world so that is why I don't own anything like that. Please try and keep that in mind with this makeover."

"I understand and I will work within those limits but you have to trust me with the final outcome. So I heard Mike has a black eye and the new girl is the cause, so spill."

While I changed into the stuff Alice gave me I told her how gym when down. She was laughing by the end. Some how I get that Mike may have got what he deserved from the way Alice was acting. Then I remember that I had questions I want to ask her.

"Alice do you mind telling me about your parents? Charlie speaks so highly about them. I will tell you about my mom since I am sure you know a lot about Charlie already."

"Well as you know both my parents work at the hospital. My dad's name is Carlisle Cullen. He is head of the board of the hospital and chief surgeon. So he is always in and out being on call all the time. My mom's name is Esme Cullen. She is the head psychologist and she runs an outreach group for rape victims. She really tries to reach out to the younger ones that don't have any support because they know no different. She was a victim herself before she met Carlisle. Everyone in her group has every number that Esme has so if at any time they need to talk to someone she will be right there. She has left during family dinner and holidays to help these girls. She is a blessing to each one of them. I can understand why people in the community look up to them, hell even I do. Bella what's wrong you look as pale as a ghost?"

"Alice I have to meet your mom soon if that is ok with you. I know someone that may need her help."

"Sure Bella, here is one of her cards and I will put her personal phone numbers down too. Esme is really sweet let your friend know that she will do anything with in her power to help her. Are you sure you are ok?"

"Yes, Alice I am fine this information will help me friend out greatly. Now my next question for you do you know anything about this really good looking Edward with green eyes that is in our grade level?"

"Edward that is 6'2", green eyes, bronze hair that looks like he just woke up, and nicely built; that Edward?"

"That sounds like the one he is my lab partner in biology. What do you know about him?"

"Bella, he is my brother."

AN: So did you guess Edward was her brother? It always seems they work out the way in these stories. How about her parents? How do you think they will play out in this story? I do promise the others are coming. What about Bella's paper for English? This is so much more to it. When the story come to an end you will fully understand why Bella is the way she is now.

Please let me know what you think and if you check anything that is wrong I will fix it. Sorry I do not have a beta. I want to thank Sendmeonmyway for her reviews and I would recommend her stories. My Favorite Accident is awesome. Please check them out when you get a chance.

Also thank you to all of you that have read this story if you like it please let other know it out here.

Also if you or someone you know has been a victim of rape; please help them seek help even if it is just you listening to what happened. Talking some times helps and it is one way to help with the healing and dealing process. Just be there for them.