A/N: There is a bit of a biblical theme to this chapter but I'm not being preachy with it :P I was reading the scene between Carlisle and Bella in New Moon and I just think it suits his character. Maybe I'm wrong-let me know.

This was absolutely awful to write and I'm not really happy with it but I think the next chapter should be easier.

Also this story is going to be a bit longer than I originally thought…7 or 8 chapters I'd say.

When all else fails.

I had always considered myself rather brave but that particular night I was a coward. I left her. I fled the room for I could not stand the sight of her lifeless body, lifeless because of me.

The cold night air and torrential storm attacked me as soon as I walked out the door. Water seeped through my brilliant white shirt and my hair fell about my face. I wanted the downpour to devour me and cleanse me of my loss.

But the pain I felt was all consuming, raw and gnawing at my long silenced heart. There was a bitter irony to how hard the heart could break even though it did not beat.

I was tired of my existence, of seeing so many people I cared about come into my life only for them to be snatched away by death's grasp. More than three and a half centuries of loss. I had seen enough of it. Why could I not be taken in her place?

I brought my hands up to cup my face in a vain attempt to clear my mind. It wasn't working and I could feel myself falling deeper into the depths of despair but still I managed to retain some control, for I wanted nothing more than to fall to my knees and beg for whatever deity was listening to take me instead.

A long forgotten Bible verse floated to the forefront of my mind:

"he shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and death shall be no more; neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain, any more"

I consoled myself with it. This was not the end for Bella, such a precious creature was destined for eternal life. Peace would find her at last.

As I began to make my way back to the house, completely drenched by the storm even though it was starting to calm, my cell rang.

Looking at the phone I saw Alice's bright and smiling face shining up at me from the screen. How on earth could I tell her? Or did she already know I had failed to save her friend? What could I say to her?

I closed my eyes and bit my lip as I accepted the call.

"Carlisle why are you standing out in the rain feeling sorry for yourself when Bella needs you?"

"Alice I just couldn't bear to see her like that," my voice was trembling, barely more than a whisper.

She began to raise her voice. "She is the way she is because of you so go watch over her!"

"Alice I know you're angry at me but please listen. I never meant for her to die Alice, I wanted to ch ... change her but I was t-too late." If I had any tears to spill, they would have fallen there and then.

"God Carlisle for someone so smart you can be really dumb sometimes." she giggled down the phone.

Why on earth was she laughing and mocking me at a time like this?

"Bella is alive! You're head is so clouded with guilt you didn't even try to listen for her heartbeat did you? Go back and listen - really listen! She's already getting stronger." Her voice was filled with such happiness that I didn't need to be with her to know she was grinning from ear to ear.

My mouth had fallen open - how could I have missed her heartbeat? I had no words for my daughter but she understood.

"Go to her and look after our Bella."

She said the next line at such speed even my heightened senses struggled to follow her.

"Word of warning though - she will be one unhappy vampy when she wakes up. Okay, gotta go dad! Love you, bye"

She hung up.

I decided not to attempt to sort out the confusion that cluttered my mind and went to the front door. As I reached it I froze in astonishment…I could hear it! Her heart was beating, her lungs expanding, her new life beginning. A sense of relief washed over me.

Then I heard her scream.

I pushed the door open with far too much force, causing the glass to shatter, and raced to her side.

She was writhing and twitching, beads of sweat glittered across her brow as her head lashed from side to side. With each cry I apologized but I felt the pain she felt by having to watch her shudder and scream in agony. Torture.

Her hand reached out through her convulsions as though she knew I was there and need to be comforted. I grasped her hand firmly enough for her to know I was there and gave her a gentle squeeze.

"Bella? Bella if you can hear me it's me, Carlisle. I'm here with you and I won't let any harm come to you. You're safe, I won't let you go."

I wondered who I was trying to comfort more with my words but they seemed to soothe her and her body appeared to relax at my touch.

I looked carefully at our intertwined fingers, at how perfectly they joined together. I caressed the back of her hand with my thumb and she let out a small moan which sounded too pleasant to be pain. I repeated the action and again her body seemed to ease and so I continued all through the night and the following day.

Twilight.

Midnight.

28 hours, 9 minutes and 4 seconds later.

Her heartbeat was fast, far too fast. It had all happened so quickly that again I began to worry - was it possible she had been too broken? Could the venom just kill her?

The constant writhing and straining had ceased but I enjoyed the feel of my hand in hers too much to let go.

Again and again her heart increased its pace, it was like listening to the dull echo of a speeding train.

A thought came to mind… it brought me solace. It often did when all else failed.

"Our father, who art in heaven,"

Her heart pounded in her chest.

"Hallowed be Thy name."

Her body began to shake again, her hand squeezed mine tightly, as though desperately trying to cling to life.

"Thy Kingdom come."

It was out of control, she trembled and shivered as the icy poison began to take over.

"Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven."

I brought my other hand to her stomach, holding her in place to stop her falling.

"Give us this day our daily bread."

Her back arched as her body contorted itself, trying to break free of the deadly venom which was devouring her.

"And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."

Please forgive me for this.

"And lead us not into temptation,"

I listened as her heart valiantly gave its final jolt.

"but deliver us from evil."

Everything stopped, even the rain. Silence.

"Amen."

Bella's eyes flashed open gleaming an exquisitely ferocious red.

A/N: Yes the change was quick and a little different to BD.I hope this doesn't bother you-it's just the way it turned out.

Ok, definitely the last thing this time - I have realised I am absolutely awful at writing dialogue so I apologise if Alice and Carlisle's little chat seemed a bit…out of touch with the rest of it. If you really hate it I'll try and change it but I just really wanted to get this chapter done! Only a little more angst before we get to the good stuff :)