Okay, I really have absolutly no excuse for taking so long, and I'm sorry. I've just had a lot of things to deal with and no time to find my missing msue. This chapter was so hard to write. Ugh, anyway!

Over the.. weekend? Yeah, I guess that was when, but I had my muse hit me, and I wrote a chapter far into the future, like chapter 32 or sometihng crazy like that and the weirdest thing happened! My fingers were making things happen and before I knew it, people were doing thinkgs they really weren't supposed to be doing. I hadn't fully had Wyatt's background in my head, so when it hapened in the chapter, it all hit me. In this chapter, you are goning to see a side of Wyatt you've never seen before. And you might not like it.

I just wanted to thanks to all my reviewers! I got a lot and I love it! 36! =] I love you guys so much!

Chapter 5- Thanksgiving

~Mac's POV~

I really hate family rode trips. We are all so big – excluding mom – that we barely fit into mom's black SRX Cadillac Crossover. Sure, it drove like a dream, floating over potholes and the surround system! Not to mention the purr of the engine and… okay, anyway, we still didn't have much shoulder room. I would've liked to have taken my car but it had been acting up lately, over heating, and either running too lean or too rich, and it would constantly hiccup. I was going insane trying to figure it out. I couldn't get it synchronized in time, and the two hour road trip would've been too harsh on my poor baby. Seth, Ravyn, and I were in the second row while the lovebirds were in the third row making kissy faces and goo gooey eyes at each other. It was seriously revolting. Mom and dad were in the front seat while he drove with one hand on the steering wheel and one hand holding hers on top of the center console.

I couldn't help but stare at their intertwined hands and clench mine, trying to dissolve the fact that I was empty without Wyatt. I missed him in an unhealthy manner and it scared me to not be able to control my own emotions. The pull between us was strong and right now, it was telling me that I needed him with me. That I needed to turn back around to be with him. I wasn't a very clingy person, so the feeling was new and frightening with its intensity.

"Aiden," my father sighed, dragging me out of my thoughts, staring at Aiden and Leah making out in the rearview mirror, "you know the rules. No sex in your mother's car."

Leah's face instantly reddened the way it always did when she was around Aiden. Aiden groaned, dramatically throwing himself back on his side of the seat. "Come on, Dad. I would never."

I snickered behind my hand and he slapped the back of my head. "Shut up, MacKayla."

"That was uncalled for," I growled, unbuckling my seatbelt so I could punch his face in with my fist.

My dad whistled in a way that caused everyone to cup their hypersensitive ears. "We are almost there so shut up, sit back, and no touching! No fighting, nothing! Or else I'm banning you all from cliff diving."

My mother smiled at him and then went back to gazing out the window.

No one said a word after that until we reached La Push, pulling up in front of the large pale lilac house, trimmed with white. Some grandfather died a few years back, leaving my father and aunts, Rachel and Rebecca, about forty million dollars. My dad gave all the money to Rachel and Rebecca since my mother's side of the family was wealthy enough as it was, and they split ten, and gave the rest of the money to charities and the community, schools and whatnot.

Rachel and Paul lived with Colin and Becca, along with Stormy, their daughter, and Hayden and Devin, Paul and Rachel's children. The mansion was two stories tall and had nine bedrooms and twelve bathrooms, a kitchen, two living rooms, an indoor pool, a game room, a billiard room, and that was where I forgot the rest.

"Mac!" a voice yelled from the front porch, and a tall girl came running out of the house.

I smiled at the sixteen year old who threw herself into my arms. "Hey, Stormy. Miss me much?"

She laughed. "Of course I did." She grinned, making her cute dimples stand out in her heart-shaped face. Her brown eyes were shiny and filled with love and happiness, her long, black wavy hair blowing in the wind.

"Have you gotten control of your phasing yet?" I asked. She had phased for the first time over the summer and it scared her even though she knew it was coming.

She nodded. "And now I don't phase at all."

I frowned at her. "What?"

She shrugged. "I really like having long hair. I would rather not cut it. You don't."

"Strom, I don't have to cut mine. It can be as long as I want and my wolf form won't be affected by it at all."

"Oh. Aiden! Ravyn!" She ran at my brothers and embraced them while I shook my head at her. She really needed a reality check.

"Look who it is," a deep voice muttered behind me.

"My, my, why it is the she-wolf," another said.

I turned around to two greatly large chests blocking my view. "Funny, you two," I answered them.

Devin and Hayden smiled down at me before giving me a high five and stepping back a little to provide me some room. Devin sighed. "Mac, you smell horrible." He wrinkled his nose for emphasis.

I laughed. "So do you. When was the last time you showered?"

Devin grinned mischievously. "A few weeks ago."

Hayden pinched his nose between his thumb and index finger. "Dude, really, do us all a favor and finally bathe. Mom has been begging you to."

"Speaking of moms, where's Rachel and Becky?" I looked around them at the house but nobody was standing in the doorway.

"They're at Sam's house. We were supposed to stay here to help you guys unpack and then I guess we are to take you to Sam and Em's place," Hayden answered me.

"Wow, you guys have grown," my dad drawled, walking up to the porch with some of the suitcases.

Devin shrugged his massive shoulders. "We do that."

I looked at them, and my dad was right. Devin was my age, eighteen, and he was more muscled then most wolves. He was nearly Emmett-sized. His brown eyes were the kind of dark where you can't pick out the pupils from the irises and his hair was as long as possible, hanging down just above his ears. Hayden was leaner but still corroded with hard sinew. His eyes were lighter, but still a dark brown. He was shorter then his brother by an inch or two, older as well. I supposed he was about twenty-one by now. Besides their physical appearance, their personalities were what differed them the most. Hayden was a calm, easygoing guy who was quiet and kind. Thoughtful. Whereas Devin was the mischievous and out-going one. He liked to party, have fun, and get into trouble, preferably at the same time.

"I'm going to show you your rooms," Stormy announced, flittering to my side with Leah in tow.

Stormy led all of us up the grand staircase and into a bright lavender room. "This will be yours, Uncle Jake," she said, helping with the suitcases Alice had insisted my mother bring.

"Thank you, Stormy," my mother said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"No problem."

Stormy escorted us down the hallway and opened a door to a pale teal painted room with white fixtures. Two beds where pushed up against the wall and I realized that I was going to have to share a room with someone and I prayed it wasn't one of my brothers.

"This is Leah and Mac's room," she proclaimed, grabbing one of my suitcases and setting it on one of the beds.

She closed the door, leaving Leah and I alone. I fell back against one of the beds, landing on the feather comforter with a loud whoosh. "Thank God I'm sharing my room with you," I muttered.

Leah raised a questioning brow at me.

"Not like that, it's just that I really didn't want to spend some 'quality' time with my brothers," I said quickly.

She shrugged, lying down next to me to stare at the ceiling. "I knew what you meant. I'm just as was glad to learn that I wasn't staying with Seth. I love him but he still acts like a kid even though he is forty years old."

I couldn't help but gape at her words. "I knew that he was old but I didn't know he was that old," I muttered.

She shrugged. "I'm even older then he is. Forty-four. But if you really want to be grossed out, think about how old Carlisle is. Or the fact that I'm engaged to your brother and am older than your father."

I shuddered. "Yeah, but Carlisle's a vampire. I think about that differently. And eww. I definitely didn't need to know that last part."

She laughed and I stared at the white ceiling for a while until the door was thrown open and Stormy had launched herself on the bed, making it shake. She landed on her stomach, rested her chin on her fists beside me, and looked at me with a glint in her eye.

"Wanna go to Sam and Emily's place now?" she asked.

I sighed, closing my eyes and mumbling, "'M kinda comfor'able here."

"Me too," Leah agreed, snuggling down onto the duvet.

"Oh come on, Lee," Aiden murmured as he strode into my room with Ravyn, Hayden, and Devin behind him. He stood beside Leah and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, massaging her muscles. She grinned and sat up to wrap her amrs around his lean waist.

"We didn't invite you guys," Stormy groaned. "Get out."

"Is that the proper way to speak to your cousins?" Devin teased.

"It is when I have spent way too much time with you guys."

"Yeah," I said, throwing a pillow at Devin. "Out. I'm tired."

Devin caught it a flung it back at me. "Don't get your panties in a bunch, Mackie. We have to go; you don't really have a choice."

"Okay, Mac, Stormy, Leah, get up," my father ordered as he barged into my room along side my mother. "Devin is right and I have some old friends I want to see again. Up."

I groaned and sat up. "I'm not in a real people person mood," I grumbled.

Leah and my mother gave me a knowing look before my mother spoke up. "How about Leah, Mac, and I meet you guys there in a few minutes," she suggested.

"Nessie-"

She interrupted him with a quick kiss. "Go on. We'll see you there."

He frowned but nodded and kissed her forehead. "All right. Come one guys."

Once the door was shut, my mother came over and sat down next me, leaning back against the headboard. She pulled me into her arms and stroked my hair while Leah moved so that she sitting in front of us with her legs crossed.

"I know you miss him," my mother murmured. "But it gets better."

"How?" I asked, my voice breaking.

"Well," she started, dragging the L's out. "The more time you spend with him, the easier it will be to be apart. Right now, you feel like you haven't had enough time together, but this isn't goodbye. It's just goodbye for the holidays."

"It's so hard," I moaned.

"I know, Mac, but you just need to focus on something else. Hence why I think it's a great idea to go to Sam and Emily's house. I heard Alex imprinted," she coaxed gently.

"Jared and Kim's Alex?" I asked apprehensively.

Leah muffled a chuckle. "The one and only."

I groaned. "Definitely not going," I said, disengaging my arms from around my mother and flopping over to pull a pillow over my head.

"Oh come on! I thought you guys got along."

Leah laughed. "They hate each other. He used to throw sand at her at the beach and when she would get pissed he'd throw her into the water and laugh as she coughed up salt water for two hours."

"No!" my mother gasped.

I groaned. "Go away and leave me to die in humiliation by myself," I mumbled.

Leah lifted the pillow from my face and tossed it onto her bed. "Stop moping about. You haven't seen him since you were, what? Ten? I'm sure he's changed by now."

"Yeah. Sure. Changed," I grumbled.

"Honey, if he ever hurts you –"

"Mother, I'm eighteen. I can take care of myself. He just caught me off guard the last time. It was bad enough that Aiden and Ravyn were about to rip his head off. Like I couldn't defend myself!" I huffed, blowing a stray piece of hair from my forehead.

My mother sighed. "Come on. Wyatt would want you to enjoy your time here on vacation."

"Is Charlie and Sue gonna be there?" I asked, perking up a bit. I hadn't seen my grandfather in over a year.

"No, they're down in California soaking up some sun. But I heard they might come down to Hoquiam for Christmas," Leah answered.

"I'll see if I can't force them into it," my mother reassured me.

"You know who else will be there?" Leah asked, swiftly changing the subject.

"Do I even want to know?" I grumbled but lifted my torso up into a sitting position.

"Grace," she whispered, like it was some secret that only I could know.

Then I did. I, unfortunately, felt a smile curve my lips. "Grace," I repeated.

Leah nodded. "The one and very only."

I laughed exuberantly and launched myself from the bed, leaving both of them smiling up at me from the mattress. "Well?" I exclaimed, agitated. "Aren't you guys coming?"

My mother laughed and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly in hers. "Of course, sweetie."

We walked to Sam and Emily's hand in hand – except for Leah – our arm's swinging between us and I couldn't help but pretend that it was Wyatt's hand in mine. Leah saw me pouting and nudged my shoulder with her own.

"Quit being so sulky. It's pathetic."

I scrunched my face up and shoved her with my free hand. "And like seeing you fawn and blush over Aiden isn't?" I snorted.

She shrugged her shoulders. "It is, but I couldn't care less. I love him, and I'll probably blush around him even after a hundred years. Even if I have him for eternity, I'll still act like a hormonal teenager."

My mother laughed. "God knows I still do."

I wrinkled my nose again, trying to fight the very unwanted images from my mind. "Eww, oh, jeez. Thanks Mom, we really needed to know that. You and Dad are not allowed to do the dirty and tell me about it. That is just plain sick. Blech!"

She laughed, completely unrepentant and I hurried my pace.

Soon the large blue house came into view. It was weird to think that it used to be small, so small that most of the wolves and imprints had hardly fit comfortably in the cramped space provided. When Nick was born, their oldest, they had expanded the house, since they had planned on having more. And boy did they ever. Unfortunately, with the Cullens being here, it made wolves practically appear out of thin air. So, we have a large family, even with just my own pack, which technically consisted of Quinn, Embry and Savannah's kid, Hayden, Devin and me and my brothers, but since everyone lived in La Push except for us, it made it more like a long distance phone call. With your mind.

But Sam and Emily had four kids, two of them good friends of mine. There was Nick, who was standing in the kitchen laughing at something my brother said. His younger brother Chris was standing with them as well teasing Aiden and with my hearing and of sharing his mind, it was of having to put up with a surly Leah. Which severely pissed me off but I went over to them and said my hello's anyway. Their sister's Carlee and Kelsey were on the porch that overlooked the calm and peaceful beach. Lilly and Emma, Jared's daughters were in the dinning room trying to see if they could steal a finger swipe of frosting off a chocolate cake without anyone noticing. Emma was the youngest, at sixteen, which meant she was especially close to Stormy, who was also standing there with them, with Lilly being twenty.

Seth was outside with my father, and the older wolves, talking by the barbeque. Any outsider would think it was summer, the way we went about things, but we very really got cold. With our high temperatures, the only thing that makes us cold would be a vampire, though for me, it wasn't as bad since I was half of one.

My aunts were in the kitchen, standing with a girl I had never seen before. She had soft rosy skin and wild red hair, curly and standing in all directions. She was so pale, standing with a bunch of rusty-skinned Native Americans, that she stood out. But her hair was what drew my attention to her. It was shinny and soft looking, yet it was in all directions as if controlling it would be an impossibility. When she looked at me, I clenched my fists. Her eyes were a brilliant pool of neon blue, startling in her doe like face. I couldn't help but envy her beauty, the fact that she was everything I wanted to be scared me.

I was fine with how I looked, but seeing her Hollywood quality made me feel insignificant, small, and an ugly hag. And of course, the first thought to fly through my suddenly insecure head was, would Wyatt think she was more beautiful then me… I clenched my jaw, loosening my fists that lay at my sides. Her smile had slipped from her face and she looked… scared. I was never a remorseful person, but I felt bad. I was confused and pissed and suddenly very self-conscious over my body. I hadn't taken my eyes off hers so I felt the color drain from my face when I realized that she was at least a full cup size bigger then me.

I turned around and shut my eyes. If Wyatt left Amber for me, a girl whose legs went on for miles even with her short stature and the fact that she could easily be a Rosalie, he left her for me. I replayed that in my head, a mantra, a prayer for sanity. It was in that moment I really wanted to be a guy. Guy's really didn't care about this sort of thing – I should know since I share my mind with five – and right now, I sure as hell didn't want to care.

A hand gripped the back of my hair and tipped my head back. It was almost painful and I whimpered, trying to get out of the grip. I figured it would be one of my brothers so when I looked up at Alex's dark brown eyes shooting daggers at me, I felt my face pale.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he demanded.

I shut my eyes. I could flip him and have him pinned to the ground before he could even see it coming. "Alex, so help me God, let go of me or you'll regret it," I said in a low, hushed voice. No one was going to help me again. I was eighteen for fuck's sake.

"No. You have a thing against me, I get that, but you had no right to make her cry. I don't know what you did, but you better not do it again."

That was when I kind of… freaked. I had enough and so I gripped his wrist in a tight vise with my hands and flipped him onto his back. Before he could blink, I was on his stomach, pinning him to the nicely polished hardwood floor. "Don't start shit with me. You really don't want to do that. We are both hot heads and I could use a fight right about now. Who did I make cry?" I bit out, though I knew damn well who it was.

"Melissa!" he spat, struggling to get up.

I froze and he took that as the perfect opportunity to switch the position on me. It was hard to breathe under his crushing weight. By now, the house had shaken like an earthquake had hit the city and people were starting to come over and crowd around us. Some were even cheering us on. And I noticed the red head running towards us, her eyes red and puffy.

"Alex!" she yelled, trying to clutch at his shoulders but she would've made more head way with trying to lift an elephant. "You'll hurt her!"

Aiden yanked Alex up by the collar and shoved his face into Alex's, their noses touching. "You are really starting to piss me the hell off. Didn't you learn last time?"

I didn't even move from where I lay splayed out on the floor. I really hated myself then. I was man enough to make a girl cry just by looking at her. Well, okay I stared, but whatever. Did I glare at her? I looked up at her face, and I learned that she was the kind of person who would rather spend Thanksgiving at a homeless shelter then gorge herself on food the needy could use more then us. Just from her eyes, I knew that she cared for everyone, the good and the bad. And right then I was the bad.

I shut my eyes as a tear rolled down my cheek. The silence in the room was deafening. I had never let anyone see me cry. Only Ravyn had ever seen me cry and it was when I was seriously hurt. So of course, he jumped to conclusions.

I'm going to kill him!

No, it was my fault, God, I even sounded bad in my head.

I opened my eyes and stood up. I was about to do something I had never done before, so I kind of blocked my mind to my brothers so they couldn't guess what I was planning. I walked up to Melissa and gave her a hug, squeezing her tightly. I closed my eyes just as tight for a brief moment and then let go, dropping my arms so my sides.

"I'm so sorry," I croaked. "I just have, I have all this shit in my head, and I can't get it sorted. I swear I meant nothing bad by it."

She looked shocked. Well, so did everyone else, including the adults who were now strolling in with meat that steamed and their laughter died when their eyes landed on us.

I couldn't help but feel the blush creep up; entirely embarrassed by my little show of submission, a thing I didn't do regularly. I backed away until I reached the door and I flung myself out of it. There was a porch swing sitting beside the door and I plopped myself in it, feeling oddly… alone.

I wasn't surprised when I felt the seat beside me dip. However, I was surprised by the brilliant blur of wildly red hair that obscured my vision.

"I have a feeling that was hard for you to do," she murmured after a few moments of silence.

I nodded. "Considering Alex and I have never gotten along."

She gave me soft look. "Alex can be very…" she trailed off, obviously searching for the right word.

"Rude? Obnoxious? Dominant? Caveman-ish, spewing girls belong at home garbage?" I supplied, smiling through my haze of emotions.

She laughed. "Yeah, I suppose those would work."

I grinned. "Look, I really am sorry. But… honestly? I was jealous of… you."

Her jaw fell slack and I cringed into the seat. "What? Why? If anything, I should be jealous of you!"

I shook my head. "No, really, I couldn't help it. I was comparing myself to you. I'm… having separation issues with me and my… boyfriend. So I'm more cranky then usual, but that's definitely no excuse. What I'm trying to say, is you're beautiful, and if you felt something hostile from me, it's probably because I was trying not to think of his ex who could be a friggin Victoria's Secret Model." I took a deep breath. "It was entirely out of character and harsh of me to put you in that situation. I am really, truly, sorry."

She. Was. Laughing… at me. "You really don't see yourself clearly. But the funny thing is, when I saw you, I did the same thing. I mean, you are beyond breathtaking. Your eyes are so surreal. No human could possibly have that color for their eyes."

"Oh, and your neon blue is just a regular occurrence?" I countered, feeling an odd kinship building.

She sighed. "How about we tie?" she suggested. "We're both just gonna lose. So," she said flippantly, holding out a small delicate hand towards me. "How about we call it a truce and start over."

I smiled and shook her hand. "MacKayla Black," I announced.

I watched her eyes widen and her mouth formed a perfect 'o'. "I'm Melissa O'Shea," she muttered.

"What? Oh God! You don't know any embarrassing stories about me, right? You have that look on your face. Because, I have definitely had my fair share of those today," I said quickly.

But she just laughed and waved my words away with a flick of a wrist. "No, no, nothing like that. However, I do know who you are. Lilly and Emma were talking about it earlier, saying how they couldn't wait for you to show up. Are you really half vampire and werewolf?" she asked, wonder filling her voice.

I beamed. "Yeah," I replied, trying not to brag or anything. "So I guess you know everything, huh?"

"Yes. I'm Alex's soul mate and that boyfriend of your is obviously your imprint."

"Yeah, he is. How did you know?"

She rolled her eyes. "Separation issues, an easy temper, readily being insecure, tell tale signs of imprintation."

I laughed, "Iprintation?"

She nodded, giggling slightly. "I went through it myself when Alex told me he was this huge wolf and I broke up with him."

I froze. "Wyatt doesn't know anything," I whispered, feeling scared all of a sudden. I couldn't wait till I was home and back to normal. This girly stuff was annoying.

"You'll know when the time is right," she said, gazing up at the forest that was in front of the Uley house.

"Did Alex?" I asked hesitantly.

She nodded. "Yeah. It took me a day or two but I realized that he wasn't the kind to play a practical joke on me. He can be very serious, so I just knew that he had to be telling me the truth. But that doesn't mean I still wasn't scared."

I absorbed this knowledge, trying to hold it deep within my brain, praying that my cerebral cortex wouldn't forget what my new friend enclosed to me.

***

I learned that Melissa was a really cool person to hang out with. She was fun and full of energy. I was right about the soft and mushy part of her. She was a caring person who rarely ever put other's behind her own needs. And the love that she and Alex shared was something I wished that I had. But I knew that it would happen eventually. Wyatt and I hadn't even lasted a week before we caved and finally stopped putting what was between us off.

So I leaned back on the sandy beach after a rough match of soccer under the clear, starry sky. Ravyn laid himself down beside me and put an arm over my shoulder, pulling me into the shelter of his body. I smiled and leaned back on his shoulder to look up at the sky.

Grace, Claire and Quil's little girl, was out cold in my arms and I watched I her sleep for a little while. She was the ripe age of five and her black hair was just like her mother's, a black that held dark brown highlights in the sunlight. Her eyes were a soft brown, a shade that was beguiling and beautiful. Her eyes were like my mother's. They were comforting and just one look from her was your undoing. Her younger brother Aaron was sprawled out on my chest, his arm protectively wrapped around his sister and I smiled.

Except when I felt a twinge of sharp pain split my chest in two. Staring at the two sleeping children made me think of Wyatt and the fact that I could never give him a child. I could never hold a little tiny being in my arms and see those clear, dark sapphire eyes reflecting from a tiny, innocent face. I had never thought of children, but seeing Grace and Aaron made me wish I could give him that. Give him a family.

I looked back up at the sky, somehow tearing my eyes from the peaceful, serene faces in my arms and dropped my thoughts like a hot plate in my hand. I wasn't going to ruin this moment. This moment of tranquility. Because, jeez, everyone knew that I had deserved it.

Ravyn's chin rested on top of my head and I snuggled myself closer to him. "I'm proud of you," he whispered, so not to wake the kids.

We were situated beside the fire, everyone huddled together with family or their other halves', listening to the water crash into the shore below us, and watching the sky where thousands of stars were making the black canvas of the night a stark contrast to the brightness of the universes equivalent to our sun, millions of trillions of miles away.

"Really?" I whispered back.

I felt his body shake with a silent chuckle. "Is it that hard to believe?"

"I guess not. But I don't always do things that deserve others to be proud of me."

He pressed his lips to my temple. "You do it all the time"

I held back the snort, not wanting to jostle the children awake. "Whatever you say, Birdie."

He smiled. "I love you, Mackie."

I grinned at him and kissed his cheek before his chin went back to sitting on top of my head. "I love you, too, Ravyn," I murmured, looking back up at the sky, and idly wondering if Wyatt was looking at the same moon, and thinking of me.

***

~Wyatt's POV~

I slipped out of my window and onto the roof overlooking the front yard. I threw a thick wool blanket down onto the roof beside the upper story where there was a large expanse of room. I made sure I was quiet when I sat myself down onto the itchy bedspread and popped the can of beer open.

After taking a rather large swig, I leaned back; balancing the Budweiser can on my stomach. The stars were bright, much brighter, and more apparent then one could ever imagine was possible. I loved to look up at the stars at night, when every light near our house was off. The way they glowed in the black backdrop always brought a calming affect to me. Which helped on nights and days such as this.

I hated holidays. They were a sorry excuse for family time and I hardly needed damn family time. Holidays were just a waste of time. The Hallmark version of holidays was all a lie. There was no turkey in the oven, no overly annoying and obnoxious cousins down stairs fighting over the football game. No, there was nothing for me downstairs, nothing I wanted or needed.

I nursed my beer until it was empty. I tossed it next to me and reached for the other one I had brought. I eagerly opened it and sipped it leisurely, a nice buzz starting since I had an empty stomach and I was drinking the shit like it was water. Staring up at the starry sky made me think of Mac. My mind began playing tricks on me and I was seeing the stars connect the dots, forming random pictures in the glowing sky. No, not random, I reasoned. They were pictures of MacKayla.

I closed my eyes as I heard her sweet, melodic laughter fill my ears; fill the silence that was stretching over me. I saw the color of her eyes, the color that seemed so surreal, so luminous in her dark face. I felt the silkiness of her thick, dark curls as my hands ran through them, gripping her head to mine. I could taste her mouth on my tongue as if I was back at school and we were still kissing, my body pressing her against the building. I felt the way her body molded itself to me, the plainness of her skin beneath my traveling fingers. I could smell her earthy scent. It wasn't all feminine on its own, a light magnolia scent clinging to her, adding an alluring quality to the forest like smell that it made me wild with desire.

My senses were running on the memory of Mac, like a rerun on television, and I sure as hell wasn't going to complain. She was truly the only thing that could make me happy. Make my smiles genuine, my laughs more natural. For so long I had been lost, not knowing where to go, where to hide. I had no one to confide in, no one who wouldn't judge me besides my sister, Hailey. But then, there she was, Mac's bright smile lighting up a room filled with bleakness, blanketed in darkness. Just to see her from afar would turn my heart into mulch; make me feel things I had never once thought I could feel, since almost always my body was numb from feeling.

Even now, when I was so caught up in my own shit, my own problems, just the mere thought of her, the mere memories of her caused my heart to race, my mind lose all the built up anger and hatred I had stored there, not even having to use the alcohol as a way to vent. I knew I was lost to her now. I knew that I was falling, and I was falling so fast I realized I was going to hit the pavement, but I didn't care. For once, I wanted to be selfish. To do something for myself. To take for myself.

I couldn't help but gaze up at the bright, full moon and wonder if Mac was looking at it herself, while thinking of me.

A window was thrown open and I tensed. I couldn't help it, it was a natural repercussion from my life. My breath came out in a whoosh as I heard it close and latch, heard foot steps move closer to my ridged form lying helpless on the roof, bare and vulnerable like I was a kid again.

A dark haired girl clouded my vision and I visibly relaxed, allowing myself to take another swig of the beer in my hands. The young girl plopped herself down silently beside me and I took het right into my arms, resting her head on my chest. I tossed my head back and swallowed the last of the second can while she spoke.

"I'm so scared," she whispered, her soft and kind voice wavering, breaking my heart.

I tightened my arms around her reflexively, holding her as tightly as possible to me, never wanting to let her out of my sight.

I felt her tears hit my t-shirt as she mumbled, "I hate it when you drink."

I chucked both the cans so that they flew down to the front yard, the air whistling around them. I was going to be in trouble when she found them in the morning, but I couldn't give two shits about her or what she would do to me. Never again. "I know," I responded, looking back at the sky.

She pressed her self so close to me that it hurt, but I knew that my sister needed me and who was I to tell her to beat it? I needed this just as much as she did. "Don't leave me," she pleaded, her voice breaking on the last word.

"I'm never going anywhere," I vowed, but I had a sinking feeling that it would be the one promise I would break. "I'm never letting her hurt you."

Yeah, I fucking hated holidays.

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