A/N: This one took a ridiculously long time and I bet you're probably fed up hearing excuses and apologies but I have been really busy and have just had no time to write this. I am now free (if you discount studying, essays and preparing two presentations) for two weeks so I give you the next instalment and hopefully by the end of the two weeks I will have this one completed :)

On with the show!

Star

We walked at a painfully slow pace for vampires, even slower than the most unhurried human. She led me away from the scene, her hand firmly clasped around mine, at a leisurely stroll but with an air of great purpose.

We were about to talk about what had passed between us, about me turning her into a vampire and ruining her life by denying her the freedom of death. She was going to repeat those dreaded words to me once again, tell me how she really felt.

I did not think I could bear it. At that precise moment I was convinced my heart were beating again for it felt so very close to breaking at the thought of what was to come. She was going to tell me how despicable she found me, how selfish I was...how much she hated me.

But for what I had done to her I knew I deserved it and I would accept whatever insult she threw at me graciously.

Still we walked on until all noise of the fray was nothing but a mild irritation to our ears, like an irksome fly. Suddenly she stopped and dropped her hand from mine, my body instantly missing our contact and my treacherous hand itching to regain it.

She walked a few steps away from me and came to a halt with her back facing me. Night was slowly beginning to disappear as the pitch of darkness faded into a more gentle blue. The sun could not be far off and for once I welcomed it - anything to let this night be over.

"Carlisle?" she whispered in a voice I was only just able to hear.

"Bella." I sighed, bracing myself, resigned to my fate.

"I… I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say here. Under the circumstances I don't think there is much I can say."

She couldn't even bring herself to look at me. I thought it best that I help her get this over with as quickly and as painlessly as possible.

"Bella you don't have to say anything. I understand what you must be going through right now and…" She always had this effect on me, the ability to render me utterly speechless. I bowed my head in shame.

Another moment of agonising silence hung heavily in the air between us.

"I don't think there is anything I can say either Bella. Sorry just doesn't seem enough and much as I want to ask for it, I know I have no right to ask for your forgiveness."

At this she turned to stare at me, her brow furrowed…in anger?

"I would ask that whatever you do, wherever you go from here…" I dared to glance up into her piercing eyes, still red but edging ever so gradually towards black. " I would ask that you take care of yourself Bella."

Still she stared at me in what was evidently a look of sheer bewilderment.

Silence again. I was starting to get rather sick of it, the sound was so deafening I'd rather she screamed at me.

Finally she answered the lull between us. "I'm at a bit of a loss here Carlisle. I don't think you're the one who needs to be apologising here."

"But you…all those things you said back at the house. You hate what you've become, what I've taken away from you, that we…" kissed, I didn't dare say the word.

It pained me to say it, to admit it out loud and therefore somehow make it all the more real. "You hate me Bella. I can see it in your eyes."

Then it happened. A sound far too beautiful for this earth, so beautiful it had to be heartbreaking. She laughed. Just a quiet little laugh but the sound pierced through me far more than any other cry I'd heard that night.

"You know for all your years on this earth you certainly aren't the sharpest tool in the shed are you? Carlisle…I don't hate you."

There it was. Everything I wanted to hear yet far too much to bear. Whatever else she had to say, and I could sense she wasn't done, she didn't hate me and that was all I could ever hope for. All I could ever need.

She seemed unsure of whether or not to continue but hesitantly she went on, "I hate what you did to me," her eyes dropped and I too hung my head once more, disgusted with myself. "But your intentions…I know they were nothing but good and sincere. I want…I need you to know that I don't hate you and that I never could."

I sensed that she was staring at me again and I allowed my unworthy eyes to gaze deep into hers once more. She seemed ashamed too and I hated it. No matter how much her words stung and how hurt I was by them I didn't want her to feel that way.

"I'm sorry for what I said." she was whispering again and I could feel her guilt in every syllable.

"It was the venom talking Bella," something I'd been telling myself ever since she uttered those words.

"You do understand it was the venom though, don't you?"

I nodded, unable to speak to her. Silenced by her yet again but it seemed I was having a similar effect on her.

However glad I was to know that she did not hate me, there was still a question burning in the back of my mind more powerful than any thirst I'd ever known.

"May I ask you just one question though Bella?"

Her gaze was intense as though she could sense this would be something she didn't want to answer,perhaps she already knew what it was, but she gently nodded.

"When you said that you…" how on earth was I supposed to go about this? I took a deep steadying breath, something I often did regardless of how pointless it was. "You said that you…only kissed me hoping it might remind you of Edward."

It was out there. Sitting like a ticking time bomb waiting patiently to devour everything around it. Then I realised I hadn't actually asked her anything but she understood. It was a statement dripping with implication, a question was unnecessary.

"I won't lie to you Carlisle,"

Here we go…

"Part of me, some odd dark part of me deep inside did think of you as a…" I could see her search her mind for the gentlest way to put this, "substitute for Edward."

It was like having my heart ripped out, stamped on, squashed and then spat on just for good measure and I couldn't even bring myself to look at her anymore. It was my turn to look away.

She didn't try to come closer of offer me a shoulder to cry on but she did continue.

"You need to know the truth Carlisle, I can't shield you from it. But the girl who said those words to you…she wasn't me! You have to believe me when I say that Carlisle. I would never want to hurt you like that and although I did think of him at first…I promise you that after that first initial thought he was gone from my mind completely and all that was left was you."

Hope is an odd little feeling. It can creep back into your heart at the most unusual of times. This was one of those times.

"How do you feel now Bella?" I whispered, still not looking at her.

"The venom has more or less worn off I think but it comes and goes…the anger seems to be almost gone now. Still get the urge to slap you now and then though." she chuckled lightly but I could tell she was serious. Not about slapping me but that there was a little natural, un-vampiric anger there. Anger she was completely entitled to.

I faced her for that wasn't the answer I was after."That wasn't what I meant."

She looked at me with much softer eyes this time but they were now very definitely black. I could see the venom had stopped making her so erratic but her thirst was evident.

"I know," she whispered sadly, "I just don't know if I'm ready for that conversation yet. Whatever…feelings that kiss brought to the surface I'm still not really sure of them."

I nodded, more than willing to give her all the time she needed and silently thanking God that her reply was not one of outright disgust. Perhaps the prospect of Bella and I was not entirely out of the question.

But I would give her time, at the very least I could give her that. I would give her all eternity just for her to say those three little words at the end of it.

I made a vow not to bring it up again until she was ready and knew exactly what those feelings were.

"You will stay with us though?"I asked after another quiet but much more comfortable moment passed between us.

"If you'll have me" she said, with a kind smile.

The sun had finally broken through the seemingly perpetual darkness of a night I would much sooner forget than remember! Although I didn't want to forget all of it…for even in the bleakest night a solitary star can often be found.

That star was Bella Swan and she did not hate me.