The Twilight Twenty-Five
Prompt: Bitter
Pen name: LightStarDusting
Character POV: Bella
Rating: M

Chapter 7 – Fixing a Hole
2006

The last I remembered looking at the clock, it was nearly half past four, Saturday night having faded into Sunday morning. I must have passed out soon after that because when I woke, the sun was filtering through the blinds and I was alone in the bed I shared with Edward.

I was lying on my stomach, my face mashed into my pillow. My right hand had fallen asleep underneath my body weight and I continually shook it even though that didn't really help it "wake" any faster. Still exhausted, I sat up and ran my "awake" hand through my hair.

"Sunday, a little help here?" I spoke out loud to no one in particular, wincing slightly, remembering the last time I'd heard those words uttered.

Glancing at the red numbers of the clock perched on my nightstand, I saw that it was a little after ten in the morning. Edward's clock read the incorrect time of 10:23. He always set his clock a bit ahead to trick himself into being on time.

I didn't understand the logic. He knew he had set it ahead, so wouldn't his mind just subtract the extra seventeen minutes? But he'd done it for as long I knew him. "Doesn't it defeat the purpose?" I had asked when we had first met, but he said that it worked for him. It made no sense to me but I had since stopped questioning it.

As I sat there amongst the crumpled sheets and blankets, my mind flashed back to the previous night and my walk down memory lane. I smiled at my thoughts of Lucy and figured I could give her a call later to catch up and see about meeting soon. I didn't talk to her nearly enough lately and I missed her. Then again, I saw Jasper much more and that sense of longing was there as well. I guess it's all about perspective.

Getting up, I gingerly walked into the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I felt like my inner self had changed overnight, but when I looked at my reflection in the mirror, it was still just me, the same old Bella.

The previous evening had been one big mindfuck. It planted a seed in my head, watered it, and I had a small tree growing, all within the span of twelve hours. The comments from strangers and the actions on both our parts didn't help matters. I couldn't help but revisit the past now and again, especially when the past was right in front of me.

Attempting to push the emotional hangover that I was feeling far down within my chest and bury it with other stuff in there, I decided to go in search of the aroma that was wafting up the stairs and calling my name – Bella, Bella.

"Coffee, I'm coming for you." I mumbled back as I stumbled my way down the stairs and toward the kitchen.

I could smell it brewing and once I got to the entrance of the kitchen, I saw it sitting there, happily bubbling away in its pot and waiting for me. I noticed a tray set up next to the pot and saw Edward standing at the stove, his back toward me as he poured pancake batter onto the griddle. I stood quietly, watching him for a moment, my mind working vigorously to process what was going on.

Breakfast in bed!

I thought about turning around and sneaking out of the kitchen before he saw me but his Spidey Senses must have been tingling because he spoke to me without turning around.

"Hey, sleepyhead. I was making you breakfast in bed, but I see the lure of the coffee was too strong."

He turned, his grin spreading across his face as he took in my disheveled appearance.

"Man, what were you doing last night?" He left his station by the stove and was immediately by my side, pulling me into him for a kiss. I was glad that I had taken time to brush my teeth before coming downstairs and I wisely chose not to answer the question he rhetorically asked. Pulling back, he gave me a quick kiss on the nose before walking over to the cabinet to pull out a coffee cup. "Did you have fun? I tried to stay up but I was more exhausted than I realized."

He knew that trying to converse with me was not going to happen without the caffeine. He poured my coffee and added sugar before handing it to me. He kept talking, having the one-sided conversation and knowing that I'd eventually catch up. "We're out of milk. I used the last of it while making the pancake batter. Your favorite, oatmeal banana raisin pancakes. But now we have no milk for the coffee. I was going to run over to-"

I placed the cup down on the counter and cut him off with another kiss, pushing the words out of my mouth with force. "This is fine, thank you." A five word sentence was practically unheard of from me before coffee and he raised his brows in surprise. His arms wrapped around me and he walked me backwards into the counter with his body, placing his hands on either side of me and pressing his body against mine. His lips were soft on mine, and I grabbed the back of his head, deepening the kiss.

Screw the food, screw the coffee (blasphemy), I want him.

He pulled away and ran his hand through his hair. I continued kissing along his jaw until he pulled away completely.

"Hey now, don't want your pancakes getting ruined."

"Right…"

Pouting but not saying anything to the contrary, I stood there and watched as he finished making the pancakes. Picking up my coffee mug, I took a sip of the black coffee and winced at the bitterness. I waited to see if he'd turn off the burners and turn to me, intent on continuing where we had left off.

Instead he turned off the burners and said, "Here. Why don't you start eating while I clean up a bit? They're nice and warm." He took the can of whipped cream out of the fridge and sprayed a generous portion on top of my pancakes, just like I liked them. Sweet food to balance the bitter coffee. The coffee wasn't perfect without milk but the caffeine was the important part.

Taking my plate, I went and sat at the dining room table, alone. I wanted more than anything to just call out to him. To tell him to just leave the mess for later, I would clean it. Or to invite him to eat with me. Or to just say, Screw breakfast, why don't we just go upstairs and back to bed. Don't forget to bring the whipped cream.

Instead, I said nothing. Eating my pancakes and drinking my coffee. My stomach churned and I felt it working overtime to keep those emotions locked up deep inside. I felt selfish. The man just made me pancakes from scratch. He was cleaning up after himself. He was one of the good ones. He'd done everything right.

Yet, still, it was wrong.

After he finished, he joined me at the table with a plate of his own pancakes.

I'd nearly finished mine.

"Wait, you used milk in the pancakes?" My mind was finally catching up. It was on a ten minute delay that gradually got smaller as the caffeine worked its way through my system.

"Yeah, after I stirred in the eggs."

"Oh." I considered not saying anything but couldn't stop myself. "You could have just used water, you know."

"Oh…" There was a pregnant pause that hung between us. "Listen, if you need the milk for your coffee, I can still run down the street. I'm dressed and it's not a big deal."

"No. Don't worry about it." I was being a bitch. I knew it.

He was silent for a moment and I could see he was trying to gauge my reaction. Letting the milk conversation go, he inquired, "So, you and Jasper had a good time?" Picking up his knife and fork, he dug into his food.

There were so many things I could have said, could have told him about. He didn't know the extent of my relationship with Jasper before he and Alice came into the picture but I didn't have to talk about that. There was a plethora of things that could have been said. Instead I said, "Yes, it was great."

And left it at that.

We discussed about random things, fixing the porch light and his plans to hang out with the guys. We didn't have anything on the agenda together until that night when we were going to his parent's house for dinner.

"Hey, Alice and Rosalie were planning on going to the outlets today. Did they call you?"

His statement stung, even though he hadn't intended it that way. I feigned nonchalance. "Oh? I didn't hear anything."

Sometimes it felt that Alice and Rosalie had their own little club meeting that I wasn't invited to attend. Granted, they'd known each other from Student Government in college, so they always had that special bond. Rose had asked Alice to be her maid-of-honor in her upcoming wedding, for which Alice was perfectly suited. I was in the wedding party as a bridesmaid, which worked well. Still, their friendship and closeness could sometimes be a bitter pill to swallow.

"… to join us?"

"Hmmm?" I had tuned him out and I realized by the slight raise in his voice at the end of his words, he had asked me a question.

"I asked if you wanted to join us at the movies. Since you don't have plans?"

I quickly shook my head, dismissing the invite as I stood to collect our plates and clean up the table after our meal. "That's okay. I have some stuff to get done around here anyway. I'll just be a homebody." I didn't feel like being the fourth wheel with the all boys club, plus I figured things might be a bit weird seeing Jasper so soon after our non-conversation last night.

***

In the afternoon, we laid together on the couch, his arms wrapped around me, my head resting on his chest. We watched some doctor show where someone was seizing. I swear, all the shows could be mashed up together and there would always be someone, somewhere, who was seizing.

From outside, we heard the rumble of Jasper's car, alerting us to his and Emmett's arrival. Standing and stretching, Edward walked to grab his keys and jacket.

"Last chance, Bella. You sure you don't want to join us?"

"I have no interest whatsoever in whatever CGI enhanced amazing blah blah blah you are going to see. Have fun though." I walked him to the door and gave him a quick kiss before we opened the door and he jogged out to the car. As I stood in the doorway, I watched him head toward Jasper's car. The picture looked oddly familiar, a snapshot of the night before. The car was under the same street light, yet it was no longer dark. I didn't meet Jasper's eyes but smiled and waved before shutting the door.

My cell phone was complaining so I took it to the charger in the kitchen to juice up the battery. Once I had plugged it in, I found that both Alice and Rose had called me in the morning, I hadn't heard it. They were long gone and I settled into the couch, once more, alone. Flipping around on the television, I found nothing of interest, as was par for the course on a Sunday afternoon. My mind was more interested in visiting in the past than paying attention to the present.

After shutting the television, the house fell silent once more. My thoughts drifted back in time to the occurrences of the night we planned to go to that first party and how plans often change.

As always KrisBCullen makes my words better.

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