The Twilight Twenty-Five
Prompt: Obsession
Pen name: LightStarDusting
Character POV: Bella
Rating: M

Chapter 12 – Help!
1999

The campus library was not working its usual comfort mojo on me. Usually I went there if I needed to escape everyone. Besides the Greek pledge classes who were forced there for study hours, it was mostly desolate. I was used to the library being soothing and lovely and book smell-y.

In the thick of midterms, it was sorely lacking all three of those components.

The Clearwater library, which was named after an alumnus who donated an exorbitant amount of money to the school, was crawling with students. It was something that I quickly learned only happened on campus around midterms and finals. The tension in the air was thick, which was definitely not soothing or lovely. And as for the book smell? It had been masked by the smell of eau de students. A nice musky combination of coffee, food, stale beer and the ever-present B.O. Oh yes, I couldn't wait for midterms to be over so I could once again re-establish my claim over the library. I wondered if I could take a page from the fraternity brothers and play "Closing Time," while pushing the interlopers all out the door.

Jasper, Peter, Lucy and I stood near the elevators on the third floor landing, looking around in amazement at the sheer volume of students in the place. I started panicking when I saw that all of my favorite tables were taken.

"Okay kids, here's what we've got to do. We need to split up and circle. We'll stalk a table like people stalk parking spots at the mall during the holidays. When you find one, tell your partner to go get the others. Got it?" Lucy paced in front of us like she was our drill sergeant, sending us into the war zone.

Following Lucy's instructions, Peter and I walked one way while Lucy and Jasper went in the other direction. While I searched, I flipped through my note cards, studying all the while. There was a nearly a brawl between Lucy and some girl over a recently vacated table but Jasper swooped in and calmed them both down. Crisis averted, we procured the table and settled down for a long study session.

Books were spread here, there and everywhere and we hunkered down, talking only when necessary. Food and drink weren't permitted in the library but people smuggled in their favorite provisions and hid them under the tables on their laps with hopes of not getting caught. My reusable coffee mug was sitting on the floor next to my chair leg and Jasper was keeping good with the promise he had made the week prior by getting me cup after cup on his dining card.

A few hours passed and then a few more. Lucy was leaning on the table, head in hand, when she suddenly sat up and slammed her book shut. The noise broke the quiet of the room and caused the rest of us (and those around us) to jump slightly.

"I'm done. There's no room left in my brain for any more information. DONE." Lucy was ranting and we all knew it was best to just sit back a ride it out. "I can no longer look at the words on these pages. They've turned into words that no longer have meaning. What's that phrase again?"

"Semantic saturation," I offered as I held up one of the note cards I was studying for my Semantics midterm with the words on one side and the definition on the other. I put it in the 'definitely know' pile on the right side. I was a fan of the note cards for studying while Lucy was more of a fill the note book with notes over and over in the hopes of retaining through writing. She flipped the note book she was writing in closed with a definitive slap to the table.

"Yes, my brain is overly saturated with information. I'm done for now. If I study any more, I'll start losing things I already know." I knew the feeling and while my brain was getting to that point too, I needed to continue on with the studying. Lucy stood and shoved her books into her bag. "I'll see you back at the room, Bella. I might call Demetri. See if he wants to 'hang out.' If he comes over, I'll message board."

It was common knowledge that Lucy and Demetri were fuck buddies. It was never something that I could do, but I couldn't begrudge the girl for getting her rocks off. At least one of us was. Well, I was. Just not with anyone else. At least we had established a code for the dry erase board that was hung on our door so I'd have the heads up if the dorm room was 'rockin'.'

Peter stood up and gathered his books as well. "I think I'm out, too, guys. Luce, I'll walk with you." With that, they were both gone.

I looked at Jasper, who was casually leaning back in his chair with his feet propped on the window sill, reading a small black and white paperback copy of Ginsberg's Howl. I reached over and smacked his foot.

"Hmmm?"

"What class is that for?" I didn't remember him mentioning any English classes.

"Oh, it's not for class. I just wanted to read it."

Oh, how nice for him. Just catching up a little light reading while the rest of us obsess over the upcoming tests.

He raised an eyebrow at me, resting the book on his leg. "Do you need any help? Want to run through your note cards again?" He glanced at the mess in front of me. "The 'definitely know' pile is getting larger."

"No. What I want is…" I trailed off, raising my eyebrows at him.

He groaned, "Not again."

"Yes, again."

I pushed my reusable mug from the school store toward him. "Coffee!"

"You should consider slowing down with the coffee," Jasper suggested.

"Your job is to fetch and serve. No commentary. Once you're back, maybe I'll let you help me with the cards again."

He went off grumbling about how lucky he was to be my friend and how kind I was to allow him the opportunity to help me.

I saw Jasper return a bit later and he was walking with a girl from our dorm. She had the Marilyn thing down and it didn't look like he was too opposed to the idea of her flirting with him. My stomach churned and again I silently chided myself. You have no claim to him. I watched as they chatted for a few minutes before they hugged, then she kissed him on the cheek before heading off in the other direction.

Jasper set the mug of smuggled coffee onto the table in front of me. "Your coffee, madame. Light and sweet. Just like you…" he paused for a moment, "oh wait, that wasn't you. That was this other girl I did a cleanse with. Maybe I should take this to her." He went to reach for the mug and I swatted his hand away, picking it up and holding it to my chest.

"Do not joke with me when it comes to coffee. I don't take kindly to it. Especially during the most stressful time of my entire life."

He held up his hands in front of him as a shield from my wrath. "Wow. You're fun. If this is how you act during midterms, I can't wait to see you during finals week."

He removed an apple he had smuggled in from his pocket and shined it on his shoulder before taking a bite. Sitting back down in his seat, he looked at my piles of note cards again and offered his help once more.

I put aside my obsessing over the studying for a moment and instead studied his face. He looked fairly relaxed and not at all worried about his upcoming tests. In fact, in the time that we had known each other, I saw him open nary a book and most of the time that we "studied" together, he was helping me. He had already told me that he didn't study much while he was in high school, he never needed to.

"Jasper, why are you here?" I had to know how he came to be at our small school when he clearly could have gone to any school of his choosing, based on solely his academics.

"I didn't know you were studying Existentialism this semester. What class is it for?" He took another bite of his apple, crunching loudly and not caring if he got caught with it.

"No, why are you here?" I gestured with a wave of my hand around my chest, our school's name embroidered across the hoodie I had borrowed from him. "Why didn't you enroll somewhere else? An Ivy or somewhere closer to home?"

The looked thoughtful for a moment, mulling the question over in his head. "I'm the first of the Whitlocks to go to college. My parents were thrilled I wanted to go to college but they didn't know where to guide me." He continued after taking another bite of his apple. "I figured that I wanted a change of scenery. My family has been in Texas my entire life and it was all I knew."

I leaned forward on the table, resting my head on my arm.

"I went to my guidance counselor my senior year. Most people had started looking at colleges their junior years but like I said, I didn't really know to do that. The guidance counselor handed me a bunch of brochures from all different colleges. I say the academics here are great but what really drew me here…" he paused.

I leaned forward, interested in what he was about to reveal. "Yeah?" I prodded.

He shrugged. "I liked the brochure."

"You… liked the brochure." I repeated dumbly, just to make sure I heard him correctly.

"Yeah, it had nice pictures and a good layout. And it was printed on recycled paper."

"Important," I said dryly, as I sipped my coffee.

"Very. Plus, after I applied, I was offered a free ride." He said this all very matter-of-factly like it was no big deal.

"So you chose the school because of the pretty pictures and then they said, 'hey, you like our pretty pictures so much, you can come here for free!'"

"Pretty much," he deadpanned.

That was Jasper, through and through. It seemed like things just happened for him. He rolled with it and things fell in his lap. I frowned, thinking to myself, Why can't I be like that?

"Did I tell you that I'm looking into changing majors?"

I didn't hide the surprise I felt. "Really? Why?"

"Well, I want to study abroad for a semester and the communications department doesn't have a program where I'd like to go, so I thought I'd change majors. Hell, I can always change back if I want to do something else."

Again, that was Jasper. He didn't like where the communications study abroad program was located so instead of just dealing, he'd change his major. He went on to change his major four times throughout his college career and still managed to graduate on time and with honors.

I didn't feel much like studying anymore after hearing that he planned to not only change out of our major but also leave for a semester, so I suggested that we head back to the dorm.

The room was free and clear when I returned and Lucy had left a note on the message board saying she went to Demetri's. How nice for her. Yeah, I was a bit bitter.

Sighing, I sat on my bed and decided to try to cram a little bit more in the brain. I opened my book once more, looking at the review sheet that my professor had given out on what we'd need to know for Monday's test. I'd have a whole weekend to study but I wanted to make sure I had everything down.

The phone rang and I reached over, picking it up while flipping the pages of my book.

"You're obsessing again."

I didn't look at him when I answered, "I know."

"Close the book," he directed. I dutifully listened before turning my head to look out the window at him. When he saw that he had my undivided attention, he spoke. "So, I have a proposition for you."

"Really Jasper? I'm not that kind of girl." I'm sure he could see my eye-roll from across the way.

"No? Too bad. I'll mark that off in my little black book," he kidded with me. If we had known, perhaps we wouldn't have been so quick with jokes. "Actually, I was calling to see if you'd be interested in going to a party tomorrow night. Felix called and his house is having a private invite-only party. I think they are trying to see if I'm interested in joining next semester or whenever. Anyway, I was thinking," he paused. "Maybe we could give up the cleanse? The drinking part anyway… just for the night?"

"I'm listening. Go on with the logic." I knew there would be some sort of Jasper-logic involved.

"It's just that you are so focused, so obsessed with the midterms. I think you need to unwind a bit. And they're springing for good alcohol for this."

When I look at the major forks in the road I've encountered in my life, this is one of them. To the right was our path: the cleanse, the camaraderie, the comfortable silences, the watchful glances across the courtyard. This party? It was to the left. I should have gone right. I should have said no. I should have stuck to the cleanse. I should have… He should have… There were so many things that could have avoided this. Instead I agreed.

It was the beginning of the end.

On Friday LoreliD, TheHeartofLife and I are posting a hot one-shot (well, two-shot, really) in honor of our beta love, KrisBCullen's, birthday. If you're over 18 and want to check it out, hop on over to our shared fanfic account, LightHeartLoreli.

Many thanks to Miztrezboo and ElleCC for being fantastic and funny pre-readers.

Working hard on the next segment of this story. I just want to make sure that everything jives before I post. Meaning, the next update may or may not happen next Wednesday - depending on how things go. We'll see!

But now these days are done, I'm not so self-assured – The Beatles