A/N: The author would like to note that this author's note is here to note that the author did not know what to write for this author's note. Thank you.
P.S. These truffles are still delicious. So is the yellow snow right outside my door.
To tell the truth, Dumbledore did not descend epically onto the ground.
No, in reality, the wire holding him snapped and he broke his leg.
It should also be noted that this was not Dumbledore, but in fact, the Zit.
The Zit has an interesting and complicated history. It is documented in a short story. This is The Zit: A Long Short Short Story, and it has an all-star cast of authors that nobody has heard of.
The Zit:
A Long Short Short Story
(excerpt)
by
Professor Doctor Lucius Havisham Teahen XIII Esquire
Professor Christian Greyshrike Fitzsimon Esquire
and
Professor Doctor Martin Allsop Baxtor Esquire
along with
Governor Joel Jaggers Moulsdale III
Archduke Nicholas Edmondson McMullock III
and
Lord Zebulon B. Pilkington Esquire
The Zit plays an important role in nony0mous's stories.
The Zit is "all that once was and all that will be." He is also "your worst nightmare," and "your best friend." He is, to put it quite simply, a zit.
The Zit has come a long way since childhood. He was born as Zachrias Zitspeare Zit to Mr. Zachary Zit and Mrs. Petunia Pimple. His birthday is not known, though it is thought that he was born on December 31, 1926. He later claimed that he really was born on May 2, 1998, and nony0mous claims that he day of birth was in August of 2010. He was red and puffy, which caused much worry in the hospital, until somebody realized that all zits are born this way.
At age 7, he started attending Diddy's Stupid Day School for Downright Sad Facial Defections (DSDSfDSFD). He was an average student, getting all Fs on his report card. He made friends with Donald Dimple and Freddy Freckle, who are both serving full time in prison for stealing each others brains. Donald's brain told Freddy to alert Freddy to the police for stealing Donald's brain. Freddy's brain told Donald to alert Donald to the police for stealing Freddy's brain. They are still taking therapy lessons on how to live with no brain and being stupid. The Zit later went to Conker's Crazy College.
Out of college and in the cold, cruel world, Zachrias found out that the easiest way to make money is to make other people unhappy, so he got a job working at Fox 5 News, but was annoyed with his pay of $ -7.51 an hour. He found that he liked being a lawyer much better, until he found out that he disliked doing actual work. He finally settled on being a zit. Specifically, the Celeb Zit position that allowed zits to occupy celebrity's faces (Justin Bieber's face was full of zits.) He was fired, however, after being found drunk on Pus Light beer.
Zachrias Zit was saved from eternal doom by nony0mous. nony0mous found Zachrias lying on the floor, gasping for air, or whatever it is that zits need. nony0mous gave him the name of the Zit. nony0mous promised him limited power. He would be allowed every power, actually, except for the power to eat truffles, which only nony0mous possesses. In return, the Zit would go on missions for the author, doing the dirty work, so that the story never got clogged up by plot-holes or the idiots who go around pointing out plot-holes. As a reward, he was allowed unlimited Pus Light.
The Zit starred in nony0mous's famed story, E.V.I.L.: Every Villain is Lemons. He was essential to the plot, helping villains and heroes alike. He was the one who saved Voldemort from having to make and eat a Yummy Tummy Brownie Cake Pie. He was the one who commanded that vast army of flying lions, tigers, bears, and toads (oh my!)
And now, he will star in a new story – A Quest For Unseasoned Fries.
A/N: Today I discovered that Voldemort, or Vol de Mort, means "Flight of Death" in French. Just something the author wanted to note in his author's note.
P.S. (Again!) The names used for the short story are a combination of real Victorian titles and names. They are just more obnoxious than real Victorian names.