Reid's POV

I can't believe I just said that. It was just for a minute. A minute that I temporally forgot that we weren't a 'we' anymore. After the words had left my lips. He gave me a look. A look that made me think about what I had in fact just said. I started to blush. My mind raced to think about what I could say next to make up for what I had said, but before I could, I felt his lips on mine. I was caught off guard for a second, but I kissed him back. Why? I still can't come up with a straight answer. But I did.

The kiss was something that I thought I would never feel again. The feeling of his love. His affection for me all wrapped up in a simple kiss. Before I could stop myself, my hand was around his neck, and was pulling him down closer to me, asking for more. As he deepened the kiss, I felt a cold shiver come over me. Then I heard his voice.

"I would ask if you two were okay, but I can see that you're more than fine." Then his lips were gone, and I opened my eyes to see why.

There he was.

Rossi.

We all shared a moment of silence. Derek gets up off of me, and helps me up. While I'm still shocked by the fact that I had just kissed him. I looked back up at Rossi. He just stared at me. His eyes judging. I didn't need that from him. Especially now, with everything that I had going on in my head. I push past him, and head towards the bathroom. Leaving him with Derek.

"Spencer!" I hear Derek call after me. I ignore him.

I take a long hard look at myself in the mirror. What has become of me? Why have let him get the best of me so? The bathroom door opens.

"Spencer?"

Derek.

The room seems to get smaller. I back away from him.

"Spencer listen to me." He says with sadden eyes.

I shake my head. I don't want to hear anymore of his excuses. I don't want to fall into his trap of charming and calm gestures. I want to get away from him. I want to think about what I am doing to myself, by believing that we can still be together even though I know we can't.

"Spencer, just listen to me for a second."

"I don't want to listen to you anymore Derek!"

No more.

"I'm tired of doing this to myself. You say I'm not good for you, but the truth is you're no good to me! I don't know why I keep telling myself that this is okay, because it's not! I'm done with it Derek! Done!"

"You think I like doing this to you?" He says, stepping close.

"You think I like feeling this way? Spending every moment with you, and wanting nothing more than to just be with you, and knowing that I can't? As much as I want to just leave you alone. I can't! Cause it hurts to much."

I feel it again. The feeling of the tears that threaten to fall down my cheeks. Then it hits me. The whole reason as to why I have been putting myself through all this hurt.

"It's over Derek. No more! And if I have to leave the bureau to make sure of that. I will!"

I storm past him, and out of the bathroom. As I turn the corner, I can't hold the tears anymore. I lean against the wall, and try to calm myself.

"Reid? Sweetie what's wrong?" I hear Garcia's voice. I shake my head. I can't talk. She hugs my tight and close.

"It's alright honey. It's okay." She doesn't even know what's wrong, yet she makes it seem like she does in her comforting voice.

"What happened?" She asks, once I've calmed down. I take in a breath.

"D-Derek." I say lowly in her ear.

"I love him."

There.

I said it.

I finally said it.