Please ignore this bold text. It has been put here for no reason except to annoy you. Disobeying this command can result in extreme anger and enrollment in Madame Poodle's Obedience School For Human Dogs.

Also note that attendance to Hogwarts is not allowed while enrolled in Madame Poodle's Obedience School For Human Dogs. Disobeying this rule can result in enrollment in Professor Umbridge's Academy For Obsessed Human Cats.

Thank you.

The truffle contained a letter.

Here it is:

To my dearest Voldy and Potty,

I totally 3 you.

But on to the important shtuff. (I did that on purpose!1!(And that too!))

It has come to my attention that you two imbeciles must go on a quest.

I have contemplated the best way to force you to go on this quest.

Here is the answer.

You may have noticed that last night, while eating dinner, there was a bomb in your meal. Blame Dolores Umbridge.

The bomb has nothing to do with this story.

If you look on the back of your box of Steve's Unseasoned Fries, you will find a few side effects. I will now put a giant space in the letter so that your dialogue and actions can be recorded.

"There are side affects of fries?" asked Harry.

"Duh," replied Steve. "Of course there are side affects. You can tell because 'fries' is an anagram of 'sire F'."

"Which means?"

"I don't know."

Harry looked at the side affects.

Side affects may include but are not limited to: pooping, peeing, puking, throwing up, vomiting, dying, choking, death, suicide, queasiness, homicide, insanity, epic fails, hypothermia, stupidity, hatred of chocolate, and waking up in the middle of the night after a nightmare and finding yourself on the ceiling with no way of getting down. If you experience any of the symptoms, contact Steve's Unhealthy Foods and we will give you 202 reasons why you are doomed and we will not help you. If you sue us, we will counter-sue and win because we have better lawyers than you. If by any chance you have better lawyers than us, then we will hunt you down in the middle of the night and kidnap your whole family and blackmail you.

Have a nice day! :)

Ok, now you've had your time to read the side affects.

Here is your problem: you are doomed to die because of unseasoned fries.

UNLESS!

There is a catch. Look at the serial code on the bottom of the box.

Harry gasped. "The cereal killer left us a code?"

He looked at the code: 1 10 4 41...

Harry didn't bother reading the rest of the numbers because he was lazy. Instead, he looked back at the letter.

The numbers correspond to letters in the side affects.

The code spells out STEPHENS UNSEASONED FRIES.

You see, if you find Stephen's Unseasoned Baked Fries, then you will be saved.

Unfortunately for you, Stephen's Unseasoned Baked Fries is currently hidden away in a very dangerous place that I have not decided on yet.

So you will have to go on a quest for unseasoned fries.

I issue you this quest with a prophecy from the Oracle:

You shall go west and face the DOG who has turned.

You shall find what was stolen, and see it safely EATEN.

You shall be betrayed by one who calls you aN ENEMY.

And you shall fail to NOT save what matters most in the end.

I find this prophecy as clear as the light from a streetlight at night.

So go on forth, and thou shalt find those fries!

Then, for dramatic effect, some random person in the audience died.

Stop flaming this, you preps!

In honor of my discovery of My Immortal, I say this:

My Immortal is the best terrible story ever to be written.

If you haven't read it, then I command you to read it. NOW.

Actually, I didn't write that correctly.

It should be spelled like this:

Sotp flupin tis u pepsi?

or

Sop flammin, u preepz!11!1!

BTW also in My Immortal speak:

fangs(gettit, cuz im goffik) to mi siter 4 helpn my wit ta storezee.