No, I don't know where I'm going with this story.

Does it matter?

It does?

Writing is so hard!

P.S. Who wants to join me in my lawsuit against schools for underpaying us?

Harry and Voldemort, who we may call the Golden Duo, found a car.

"Hey, there's a car!" stated Harry.

"Oh my god! It's not like we could have known that by listening to the author say that the Golden Duo found a car!" Voldemort responded sarcastically.

"Oh, you're just saying that because you're cranky because you're hungry and angry because you couldn't eat the fries because they were taken from you because you're a cereal killer because you're just a mean person because you're crazy because that's your personality because that's what your DNA says because God decided to give you that DNA because God loves causing trouble because He's awesome because He's God," explained Harry. "Come on, let's go get some fast food!"

Voldemort drove Harry to Burger King because Harry never got his driver's license. Voldemort, however, was forced to learn how to use this Muggle contraption as part of the festivities during Voldemort Execution Day.

They arrived at the drive-thru. A magic box spoke to Voldemort. It was really another Muggle contraption, but for the sake of the story, we will call it Magic Box. Magic Box is possessed by a voice that belongs to Ima Ed Iot. Try saying that really fast. ImaEdIot.

"Hello," said MB. "May I take your order?"

Voldemort was pleased. "I can order you around? That's what I'm best at! I order you to hug Snape!"

"Um..." said MB. "Who is this 'Snape'?"

"Voldy!" Harry whispered. "You can only order food!"

"Fine, fine." Voldemort was ticked off. "Can I order some of Stephen's Unseasoned Fries? Because I'd really love to have some fries right now."

"And can I have a pickle?" asked Harry. (This is another inside joke. See Hi Lo PickleO.)

"42!" yelled MB. "No, but, really, the people who stole those fries for us quit. So we don't have any more. As for the pickle, a man who says his name is serious said, quote on quote, 'FOR THE LAST SHTINKING TIME, HARRY, I AIN'T GOT NO PICKLE NO MORE! NO PICKLE YOU FOO!'"

"Seriusly?" said Voldemort. "Nobody told me the quest would be this hard! But I'm still hungry, so here's my order:

I need double cheese burger and hold the lettuce

Don't be frostin' son no seeds on a bun

We be up in the drive-thru, order for two

I gots a craving for a number nine like my shoe
We need some chicken up in here
In this dizzle
For rizzle my nizzle
Extra salt on the frizzle
Dr. Pepper my brother
Another for your mother
Double double super size
And don't forget the FRIES...
Crispy!"

By this point Voldemort is break dancing on the pavement.

"Really?" said MB. "This is Burger King! Every time I try to talk to you, you start getting all confuzzled! And all the other customers! They keep rapping! We have chicken wraps, not McDonald's raps! Sheesh!"

Voldemort said, "Chicken raps? Could I have a chicken rap, please?"

"I'm rolling my eyes right now! Now, can you move on? There are other people waiting, you know!"

Voldemort looked around. "There are! Hold on."

Voldy-thing got out of the car and started rapping, "Avada Kedavra!"

"Voldemort?" said Harry. "You know, now we have to move those cars?"

"Siriusly? Okay, PUSH!"

After they pushed all of the cars, they suddenly realized they just blockaded the exit. After a heated debate that took 3.78 years, they finally decided to hijack the cars and go out the entrance. A few car crashes later, Harry shouted, "Look! A cliffhanger!"

Voldemort looked. In front of them was a cliff. Hanging off the cliff was a hanger.

EPIC CLIFFHANGER!

What do you think?

Answer in raps!

Unless you're lazy.

(Like me.)

Remember, story alert!