Have no fear, chapter 8 is here!
Are you going insane by now?
Good. You should.
We should be approaching the climax soon, because the deadline for this contest is approaching...
Shame. Guess this won't be entered in the contest.
The Zit heard about this cliffhanger. He wondered.
"What is a hanger, anyway?" says he. "I shall look it up on Wikipedia!"
"'HANGER'-" he muttered. "'A poopy thing that smells like poop because it is poop. It is made out of Voldemort's tiny brain, Harry's skin, and [un]common sense. A hanger is used to write stories. Its distant cousin is CLIFFHANGER. A cliffhanger is a type of computer that is used to crash while surfing the Internet.' This is trash! Nobody told me that anybody could edit on Wikipedia!"
He checked the dictionary. "Ah, this is better. 'A light saber of the 17th and 18th centuries, often worn by sailors.' Now I understand!"
AN: That was an actual definition from .
Voldemort and Harry were fighting over who was going to use the hanger. They decided to fight it out with lightsabers.
Harry lunged. Voldemort blocked. Voldemort lunged. Harry blocked. Harry lunged again, but when Voldemort blocked, Harry pushed his saber, and Voldemort's lightsaber flew out of his hand.
"NO! My lightsaber!"
And Harry slashes off his head.
Then Voldemort's head grew back. (He was dead! Remember? Of course you don't. Why would you remember that?)
"Why, you little-!" he screams. (I think I'm going to watch the Simpsons tonight!)
But interrupting him is a dog.
The dog is looking at them.
The the dog turns.
"The dog! He must be pointing in the direction we need to go to!" Harry has clearly had an epiphany. (I told you. I'm thinking about the Simpsons. Remember that Alaskan woman Homer saw in the movie? The creepy person who made Homer have an epiphany about epiphanies? No, you don't remember. Don't lie; I'm an uncertified Legilimens.)
The dog is pointing downwards. What a surprise.
So Harry starts doing what any 7-year old would do: dig a hole to China.
Halfway down, Harry encounters a problem.
Is the ground too tough for your shovel to dig through? Harry gets a new shovel. Is the temperature to high? Harry gets a fever. But now Harry has encountered the core of the Earth and realizes that now he has to dig UP.
"Voldy! I need you to give me a piggy-back ride!" he whispers. He whispers because he doesn't want the Justin Bieber to hear him (Justin Bieber is the current devil. The title changes every few years.)
Voldemort says, "No! I will never EVER give you a piggy-back ride!"
"By the way, Voldy, I'm cheating on you with the Sorting Hat."
"WHY YOU LITTLE-!"
And just like that, Goldy Snort comes running at Hairy Butter. Hairy jumps on Goldy's back, digs upwards, and jumps every few minutes. Voldemort jumps up with Harry, and grabs onto the rock to make sure he doesn't fall back. Why? Well, let's just say that the Zit arranged a little surprise for him. Which includes a certain purple dinosaur.
Eventually, they reach the top, and they find themselves in Walmart.
Specifically, a Walmart factory.
More specifically, a Walmart factory in the Universe.
More specifically, a Walmart factory in the Milky Way.
More specifically, a Walmart factory in the Solar System. (The one that we live in, not the one E.T. lives in.)
More specifically, a Walmart factory on Earth.
More specifically, a Walmart factory in the Eastern Hemisphere.
More specifically, a Walmart factory in the Northern Hemisphere.
More specifically, a Walmart factory in Asia.
More specifically, a Walmart factory in China.
More specifically, a Walmart factory in a Walmart factory.
What was I saying again?
I don't know. Let's just say that inside the Walmart factory, they see people making Nike shoes, electronic dart boards, dirt bikes, sock puppets, rubber dog poop, GAP clothing, and everything at WALMART! (Imagine hear a group of young kids saying "YAAAAAAAAY!")
And one of the things they were making was a solitary box that had a label on it.
I think you can guess it.
Wait. You can't?
Let me spell it out for you.
S
T
E
P
H
E
N
'
S
U
N
S
E
A
S
O
N
E
D
F
R
I
E
S
.
And another cliffhanger.
These are getting boring.
Review, and maybe...
Nah, I won't tell you.
Unless you review.
Etc.