A Quest For Unseasoned Fries Chapter 9, a harry potter fanfic

Almost there... hang on...

Just a few more decades...

And some wasted chapters...

Like this one...

I realized there weren't a lot of Harry Potter characters in the story.

Here they are.

So now you're telling me you can't spell.

How in the world do you read a 4000+ page series if you can't spell?

You had it read to you?

My tongue would be really tired by the end of the first chapter.

Let me give you a piece of advice: if you're going to be reading some form of Harry Potter, then you should read The Boy Who Snored. It's one of the greatest works of all time, written by a genius named nony0mous. Just saying.

So anyway, the Golden Duo saw a box of Stephen's Unseasoned Fries. Thought you knew how to read. Well, anyway, they saw it and blah blah blah, yada yada yada, etc., a shadowy figure emerged from the shadows.

"Snape," said Harry.

"Harry," said Snape.

"Harry."

"Snape."

"Harry."

"Snape."

"Harry."

"Snape."

"Harry."

"Snape."

"Harry."

"Snape."

"Harry."

"Snape."

"Harry."

"Snape."

"Harry."

"Snape."

"DUMBLEDORE!" screamed – well, you know who.

"Herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmione!"

"Singing a song, all day long, at Walllllllmart!"

Together they sang, until Ron said:

"I found the source of the ticking noise!"

What ticking noise?

"It's a pipe bomb!"

Harry and Hermione said in unison, "Yay!"

KA-BOOM!

Then everyone resurrected.

Wait a minute. Voldemort resurrected in the fourth book.

Then he did it again in the second chapter of this story.

And now he just did it again.

Doesn't he get tired of resurrecting?

Anyway, he broke out in song:

"Voldemort, Voldemort, oh Voldy, Voldy, Voldy, Voldemort!"

Bu-dum dum dum dum.

"Call my baby Voldemort, tell you why! His face is uglier than any guy! And when he doesn't shout Avada Kedavra, he using the Imperius curse! I call him Voldemort!"

That was my own invention. Like it?

Don't tell me – this will be the cause of the end of the human race, right?

Anyway... time for another cliffhanger...

Snape said, "Wait – what's that noise?"

"What noise?" asked Ron. "I hear no noise. See no noise-"

"How in the world can you see a noise?"

Ron blushed. Out of context, I know.

"I just, well, um-"

Ron was saved from (more) embarrassment by...

Draco coming in, holding hands with a girl.

"Who are you?" asked Ron.

"I'm A Story of Green Grass," she replied.

"Astoria Greengrass?"

"No, I'm-"

Draco cut her off and kissed her.

"I have this warm feeling inside of me. Is it love?" he asked, confused.

"Oh, that'll be the spontaneous combustion," commented Ron.

"What spontaneous combu-"

BOOM!

"Yes! Today is the day I see Draco's insides!" yelled Weasley victoriously.

Wasn't there supposed to be a cliffhanger?

There was another noise. It went Boom. Crunch, crunch.

"I heard there were some fries to be eaten."

Out of the darkness, gun cocked, was...

"Oh no!" shouted Harry.

The Cereal Killer had returned.

What, you thought the Cereal Killer was just a figment of my imagination?

You disgust me.

I'm going to sing a song now until you review.

Snape, Snape, Severus Snape.

Dumbledore!

Hermione, Hermione, Hermione.

Ron, Ron, Ron Weasley!