Always in My Heart

CHAPTER EIGHT

SCENE FOURTEEN

Gene stood watching Amanda, his sister and sister in laws play a game of Croquet. He turned his head as he felt his mother approaching. "I don't think they believe in quitting." he nodded towards the ongoing game.

Victoria smiled and chuckled, "Quitting is not in the Barkley dictionary." For a moment silence fell between them until Gene broke the silence.

"I lay awake most of last night thinking," he sighed and shook head, "I'm sorry. I should have been upfront with all of you from the beginning only," he shrugged his shoulders, "everything and everyone was in such a festive mood when I got here I didn't have the heart to spoil things and then," he sighed again, "I got to thinking about all the things I missed out on because I had my head stuck in a book. I was afraid if my condition was known everyone would fight me to keep me doing them. Considering the family I've been blessed with, doesn't really make any sense."

Victoria looked at her son; sympathy and understanding shown in her eyes, "Oftentimes our fears may not make sense; only," she turned up the palms of her hands, "They are very still very real. I'm just glad you didn't go away. I overheard you tell your brothers you had thought about it."

Gene nodded, but answered, "I couldn't do it. Guess, while I wasn't really thinking about it that letter of Heath's must have dug itself deep into my mind."

"I'm glad it did," his mother gave him a small smile as she took a hold of his arm, "I just hate the idea of you dying among strangers." Her voice caught on the last few words.

Gene pulled his arm out of her grasp and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, "Guess, deep down inside," he looked from her to Audra and the others, "So did I."

0000

Heath was fixing a horseshoe when Gene opened the door and walked in. Looking up Heath grew instantly concerned; his brother looked so solemn. "What's wrong?" Heath put down the horseshoe and hammer down.

"Nothing really," Gene sat down on a crate and looked at Heath, who had pulled another crate over and sat on it, and smiled, "Just remembering the day they put up that statue in father's honor but you and mother missed it because she was talking to Hannah and everything. " Heath said nothing as Gene paused then continued, "It really was great to see you wearing father's boots. I want you to know that. I want you to know I'm glad you came here and into our lives. I've never been ashamed to call you brother." He did too. He did not wish to pass on without this brother knowing how he felt.

Heath fought to control his emotions as he nodded slowly and gave Gene a small lopsided grin, "I've never been ashamed to call you brother either." The horseshoe lay unattended as the two brothers talked, uninterrupted for a solid hour. Only when Audra came looking for them, as lunch was ready, did the private conversation end.

SCENE FIFTEEN

Nick was breaking in a horse when Gene walked slowly up to the corral fence. The man had to smile as he looked at his older brother. The man knew horses and knew how to handle them that was for sure. 'Why are you so eager to spend so much time with Nick…' the question Audra had asked him before his true condition had come out rang through his mind.

He thought on all the years he'd spent getting to know Jarrod inside and out; kind of hard not to do that when the man was always the one helping him with his studies, along with everything else. He realized the moment he'd stepped back onto the ranch how badly he wanted to get to really know this hot-tempered, bull headed and one very unique brother of his. He'd determined then to lay aside his books and do just that; get to know him.

'You're not getting back on that thing are you?' twelve year old Gene asked as he watched Nick, who'd been thrown for the horse he'd been breaking in, "He'll kill you!"
Gene smiled at the memory. That thing had learned too…it had not succeeded in throwing his brother again.

"Naw," Nick had simply brushed some dirt off of his pants and headed back towards the horse, "Ain't the first time I've been thrown off a horse and it won't be the last. However, that thing will learn whose boss 'round here!'

"Hey, you in there?" Nick teased Gene as he walked up to the fence. While his words were teasing his younger brother, his eyes showed his concern.

Gene smiled and answered, "No, I've checked out and gone on vacation." That only served to crack them both up and their laughter rang through air.

When Nick stopped laughing he scratched the back of his neck and asked, "We're going to be rounding up the cattle again, gotta move them the winter pasture. I know you were talkin' 'bout wanting to help before but," he looked Gene over, "Are you sure you're really up to it?" The fact that his brother was not walking as fast as he'd once did had not passed anyone up.

A faraway look came into Gene's eyes. A part of him told him he should stay behind; the other half beat it to the front of the line. "Doesn't matter if I'm up to it or not. I'd like to at least spend one day out there with you. If it kills me so be it. It's not like I'm doing anything else anyway."

At that moment Nick wanted to go find something, anything, to hit. Life was so unfair at times. The more he thought on it the more another memory ran across the front of his eyes and he just had to start laughing.

"What's so funny?" Gene asked as he looked at Nick as if the man had just gone and lost it.

"You are," Nick grinned, "I remember when you were only five and were learning to add. You showed just how smart of a whip you really were. Jarrod asked you what 2 plus 2 was. I don't suppose you remember your answer?"

Gene racked his brain. He did, very vaguely, remember one of his brothers asking him such a question only, for the life of him, he couldn't remember the answer. "Guess I don't. What did I say?"

Still grinning Nick answered, "You said it added up to five because nothing came out even. I think you said that because you'd lost out on doing something. I can't remember what though."

The next few hours found Gene wandering around the yard enjoying the day with Nick, Heath or one of their hired hands. Even with the slowed up walk he seemed to be so full of life; everyone was finding it hard to accept the fact he would not be with them much longer.