Just Another Case, NOT!

January 6, 2011

[Author's Note: Comic relief time! This was a request of my sister's to include the Boxcar Children in one of my stories, and this is the perfect chance to make fun of them. They usually solve cases by running into the solution (occasionally literally) and are therefore really easy to make fun of. The series is not worth reading if you were wondering. If you're a fan I apologize and do not intend to be mean (this disclaimer holds true with anything I parody/make fun of).]

~The house of the children's grandfather~

The Boxcar Children (Benny, Violet, Jessie and Henry in age order from youngest to oldest) were playing in the old boxcar they used to live in, that they then used as a club house, when their grandfather, Mr. Alden [aka. Mr.Deus ex Machina], who happened to be very rich, called them in "Children, I found something you might like to see, come in so I can show it to you."

"Coming right away grandfather." They all shouted in [uncanny] unison.

Once all the children gathered in the house and their father was sitting in his usual easy chair, the two boys and two girls erupted into questions "Grandfather, what is it?" "Why did you call us in?" "Come on tell us, tell us!"

"Quiet down and I'll tell you." Their grandfather laughed.

The children quieted down almost immediately [so obedient, odd isn't it…] as their grandfather continued "I found a mystery you children may be interested in, it will be hard work though." He held up the paper, showing an unusual advertisement [the one I published of course].

"Oh grandfather, thank you so much for finding us another mystery." 11 year old Violet said quietly, hugging Mr. Alden.

"Yay, another adventure!" 6 year old Benny shouted excitedly, jumping up and down, their dog, Watch, barked happily at all the commotion.

"Grandfather, traveling is expensive, how are we going to manage it?" 13 year old Jessie asked, always practical.

"I'll handle it; I know how much this detective thing means to you children after all." Their grandfather answered good-humouredly.

"I'm sure we can solve it!" Henry pumped his hand in the air confidently then added a second thought "We might need some help though, it does say the case is difficult."

The children all wrote their full names on the back of the advertisement and waited for something to happen. They didn't have to wait long; after a few minutes there was a loud knock at the door. Mr. Alden got up and answered, letting me in.

"The person who put out the ad is here." Mr. Alden walked me to the sitting room, where he sat back down in his easy chair, and I sat in the remaining chair.

"So, I assume that you must be Benny, Violet, Jessie, and Henry." I looked at the children in turn. I didn't feel like getting a few kids killed, but from what I had heard, they had a lot of dumb luck.

They all nodded and Jessie piped up with a question "What's your name? Any ways, we're sure to help."

"I'm called V, and I'm not sure if you should be volunteering your selves in this dangerous business just yet."

Mr. Alden replied proudly "My grandchildren have been in several dangerous cases before, I'm sure they can handle it."

I took a file of papers from mid air and flipped through it "It says here that you've never been involved in a murder mystery before, is that true?" I asked the children.

Mr. Alden spoke for them again "It is true that they have not, but I trust my grandchildren in this type of thing."

"Where did those papers come from?" Benny blurted out, unable to hold in his observation.

"Sorry about my little brother." Henry hurriedly apologized.

"It's not a problem. Good job on noticing it Benny, they came from my desk, I had my hand go back and fetch them." I replied, not minding a bit, and as always, talking about unusual things as if they were completely normal.

Benny then turned towards Violet abruptly "You're awfully quiet today." Violet blushed and said a nervous hello.

"Any ways," I brought their attention back towards me and the matter at hand "I might as well explain the basics of the case before you decide to commit yourselves to it, you are a bit young for it after all."

Henry boldly answered "Age doesn't matter!"

"In most cases it doesn't, but experience does. The best detectives on the case, yes you're not the only ones, have years of experience of just this kind. A young life is also, in some ways, more precious than an old one since they have longer to live ahead of them."

"Being young doesn't matter; it makes us less conspicuous if anything." Henry persisted.

"What does – " Benny began to ask.

Jessie cut him off "Conspicuous means obvious, kind of suspicious."

I ignored the interruption after accepting Jessie's apology "You guys have a lot less experience than others. This could be very dangerous, just in case you may want a more experienced mentor during the case."

"We wouldn't mind learning a few new skills." Violet said more loudly than her usual, so she could be heard.

"Violet is right," Henry calmed down "although we are pretty good, we can get better, everyone can get better, even the best."

"Try saying that to Holmes." I mumbled with a smile.

Benny managed to hear "Who's Holmes?"

Henry replied "Oh, Sherlock Holmes, he's one of the most famous detectives of all time."

"He's also very, very arrogant, amongst other things. You'll probably meet him as the case progresses." I added.

"Jesse…" Benny began, she replied with the definition of 'arrogant'

"We're going to get to meet him?" Henry was thrilled, Holmes was famous after all.

"Yeah, a bunch of well known detectives are on the case." I answered nonchalantly.

"Who else is on the case?" Violet asked, her usual shade of nervous.

"Well, of the people you may have heard of there's L and his daughter Yoshi, Mr. Adriane Monk from San Francisco, and the Mystery Inc. gang that have risen in fame, also from the U.S.; they travel a lot."

"I didn't know L had daughter, I didn't even know he was married." Mr. Alden commented.

"Well… he's not married, not many people know about her; her family situation is kind of awkward, but she's quite the genius, she and some other Whammy house students helped solve the Kira case in the end." I explained awkwardly.

"That's news to me." said their grandfather.

"Well now you know, though telling anyone is very off limits, as is Mr. Holmes's family situation that you might find out about." I flipped through the list of more experienced detectives to find mentors for them, but there was no one suitable. "I can't find anyone to mentor you who doesn't have an apprentice, so depending how many others we get you may have to mentor some less experienced detectives during this case."

"So you mean both Holmes and L are taken?" Henry asked disappointedly.

"No, I mean their both unsuitable to mentor anyone. L isn't a people person, and won't let anyone talk to him face to face outside of 'the family' especially after the Kira case. And Holmes just would be an awful teacher and would find you to get in his way. They also both have unusual family situations [yaoi fan girl writing], so that could end up very awkward." I paused for a second and handed them the case files "Since you guys are determined, basically what's going on is that myths and legends are being brought to life all over the world by what appears to be a group of people, I need help finding out who, why, and what they plan to do next. Here are the locations and witness reports, and I, or they will call you if I need you to mentor someone." I turned around and left them to the files.

I turned back for a moment, "Good luck!" I shouted in, and then left.