AN: I'm so sorry! I apologize for how long it has been! But I just moved to college so I've been really really busy!

Dead.

That was the one word that rolled through Peter's mind over and over. He stared blankly ahead at the plain walls of the emergency waiting room while his mind played out worst case scenarios like a movie reel. His hands shook uncontrollably and his face was pale. His stomach churned painfully threatening to make him vomit. He was unaware of the stares that were directed toward him or the three people sitting around him trying to grab his attention, until Elizabeth, who arrived ten minutes after they had arrived, shook her husband somewhat roughly.

"Peter!"

Peter's head snapped so fast they were all surprised they didn't hear a crack.

"Huh? W-what?" His eyes squinted as confusion over took him.

"El?... When did you get here?" Peter asked.

Elizabeth worriedly looked to Jones and Diana, who only held the same concerned looks upon their own faces.

"Honey, I've been here for over twenty minutes." She replied gently as she rubbed her husband's back soothingly.

"Oh." Peter spoke so quietly they had to strain to hear his response. Jones noticed his boss' eyes started to become unfocused again, and quickly intervened.

"Hey! Peter….. ah…. Caffrey…. He's going to be ok. Like you told me in the basement, sir, he is going to be alright. " Jones stated trying to convince himself along with Peter.

"That was when he was still breathing! Before we killed him by giving him more damn poison!" Peter yelled as he stood towering over Jones, not caring that about the other people in the room.

"Peter! Stop it!" Elizabeth pulled her husband back down to the chair.

Jones and Diana excused themselves, not being able to see their boss in such a state.

Peter held his head in his hands as he spoke.

"I caused all of this. I took Neal with us for no damn good reason. We were just there to bring that man in for questioning. Neal didn't need to be there. But, no! I brought him anyway. And guess what happens! The guy doesn't come to the door so we walked into the house with our guns drawn and left Neal standing on the porch thinking it was safer than being with us. Oh that was a smart plan wasn't it? Yeah, because when we found nothing in the house we went back outside and found that son of bitch holding a damn syringe up to Neal's neck and two more guys holding guns on us. They forced us down to the basement, saying they would kill him if we didn't and once we were all down there he stuck Neal with it anyway! I let all of my FBI training fly out the window. Then we gave him more poison thinking one was the antidote and turns out none of them were because we found the real antidote after Diana already gave him four of them! I could have done so much to prevent all of that from happening but I didn't and now…now I'm going to lose him. He's going to die because of me! The one he trusted to protect him! El….He…He clung to me. He begged me to make the pain stop, to make it all go away, but I'm the one that agreed to put him through more of it."

"Peter….Honey….. You did the best you could! You only did those things because you thought you were protecting him. You were trying your best to protect him, but there are things beyond your control. These things…. They happen for a reason Peter! I don't know why this did… but there is a reason things turned out this way. You keep going over everything you did wrong but what about the things you did right?"

"What do you mean? I didn't do anything right!"

"You must have, otherwise Neal wouldn't still trust you. Can't you see it Peter? He believes in you to do things he knows you can't. He knew he was sick, Peter. He knew that he was…..dying. Yet, the only thing he did was hang on to you. Because to him….. you're his safe haven, Peter. If he's with you, he knows everything will be ok no matter how bad it is. You always save him, Peter."

Peter wanted desperately to believe the words his wife spoke, but his mind wouldn't let him.

"Even if he does make it….. he will hate me. I put him through all of this! He won't ever forgive me."

Peter had never spoken with such desolation in his life. He believed that even by some miracle Neal lived, that he would lose him anyway.

"I'm going to lose him, El. My partner. My….. little brother." Peter spoke so softly Elizabeth strained to hear him, but she caught it. She knew all along of course, but it was the first time Peter ever called Neal his little brother out loud.

"Don't give up so easily, Agent Burke."

Peter and Elizabeth looked up to see Jones and Diana standing there with a doctor.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Lorenz. I'm told you are the family of Mr. Neal Caffrey. "

"Yes. How is he?" Elizabeth asked as the couple nodded their heads.

Dr. Lorenz let out a sigh.

"Well…."

TBC

AN: I know it is short but I'll update soon! Let me know what you think! :)