Prompt #7: Heaven
Title: Brutal Wings
Characters/Pairings: Roxas/Sora
Summary: Gott weiß ich will kein Engel sein…God knows I don't want to be an angel. Sora is Roxas' Guardian angel. Roxas just wants Sora to be happy.
The wings were so beautiful that they were painful to look at. Pure white feathers that practically glowed in the light, catching the eye of anyone who thought to look their way. Roxas hated them, and the way they clung to Sora's back like two disgusting parasites. They drained the angel of his vitality. They were like shackles, binding him to an oath he had never consciously made. But Sora didn't know what to do about them; he could only allow them to remain. Roxas could see how they bore down on him, such a heavy burden for such a small and innocent boy. Was that what being an angel meant? What being a Guardian meant? Roxas almost wished that he would go to hell, if only to escape such a fate.
"Roxas?" The blond looked up at his Guardian, leaving his thoughts for a moment. "Can we get some ice cream?" Sora asked, tugging Roxas' sleeve. The blond smiled at him and nodded, taking Sora's hand and leading him to the ice cream shop. Sora had hidden his wings beneath a baggy sweatshirt, and it was lucky that it was so cool outside or they likely would not have been able to go out at all. It was another thing that Roxas hated about those damned wings. They prevented Sora from living a normal life while he was here on Earth. If there wasn't a way to hide the wings, then he had to hide away from prying eyes. That was no way for someone to live, even an angel.
They paid for their ice cream, walking with their hands clasped towards the pier and sitting on the abandoned dock. Sora leaned his head against Roxas' shoulder once his ice cream was gone, and he watched the blond finish his own. It was obvious to Roxas that something was wrong with the angel. The brunette was like an open book.
"Sora, what's up? You seem a little upset." Sora jerked away in surprise at being addressed so suddenly, his wide blue eyes meeting the other's own concerned ones.
"...Nothing is wrong." Sora said after a moment, his voice soft. He knew Roxas didn't believe his lie, and when the blond pulled him into an embrace Sora allowed himself to feel human weakness. Clutching Roxas' shirt, Sora took a few deep breaths to calm down. The unfamiliar sting of tears pressed against his eyes, and he did his best to prevent them from falling.
"I'm sad, I'm so sad…" he didn't know how humans explained the feeling. He knew it only as sorrow. Sensing Roxas' confusion, Sora lifted his head and brushed his lips against the other boy's. He knew that it usually made his charge, his lover, feel better.
"I'm sad…because you're sad." He finished, resting his head on Roxas' chest like he usually did when he felt unhappy. Roxas' heart was beating so fast that Sora thought he was angry. But it wasn't so. Something wet fell against Sora's cheek, and he looked up to see Roxas crying. It was an unusual sight. Roxas never cried.
"Sora…I'm sorry. I just wish I could take the pain away, but I can't, I just don't know how. I'm sorry!" Roxas poured his heart out in two simple words: I'm sorry. He didn't mean to hurt Sora, but it had happened anyway. Wasn't that always the way? Sora was silent. He would never say this out loud, but seeing Roxas cry, and for him no less, made him the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen. The angel pulled away slightly, adjusting Roxas so that the blond was halfway into his lap.
"I asked God…" Sora started, pausing to wipe Roxas' tears away, "I asked God why he gave me these wings, and he said that all angels had wings. Then I asked him if we had a choice. I asked him if we angel's had choice, whether or not we received our wings. Being an angel…it isn't what the others claim it to be. Such a lonely existence, never knowing what the next day will bring and living in fear of falling." Roxas stroked Sora's pale cheek and the Guardia smiled, albeit a little sadly.
"He said that we had no choice, unless we asked. So, I asked. God, would you take these wings away? His answer…" Sora kissed Roxas on each eyelid and slid his arms around the blond's waist, "I don't need these wings. But I can't go to heaven, not ever again. And yet…that's okay." Roxas felt his heart jump into his throat and he started to protest, but Sora placed a finger to his lips.
"It's okay, because as long as I'm with you…I'm already there." Roxas sat in stunned silence, and Sora smiled at him shyly. Then the blond began to laugh, pulling the other tightly against him. And for once, he didn't feel the lumps that were Sora's wings obstructing him.