Chapter 3- The Akatsuki visit the Mall

A/N: Action figures, barbie dolls, and eye liner? What's not to like about the mall? Well, personally, I hate shopping. Really, I do. -.-' But I love visiting anime malls, and recently I went to the mall with my "twin" (who, by the way, returns in this chapter) and some of this, very vaguely, mirrors our visit to the mall. I mean, barely, I think the only thing in common is the fact that we went to the mall. Anyways, yes, Sasori is my favorite character (and Itachi my twin's) so of course I couldn't resist making fun of them, and adding "barbies" and "eye liner" to their shopping list. XD Enjoy! ^_^

At the mall... With the Akatsuki...

"Yaaayy! Shop! Tobi likes shopping!" Tobi cried enthusiastically, watching a 5-year-old child ride a mechanical pony. It went back and forth, rocking in place and Tobi's uncovered eye was round and sparkling with joy.

"Okay, we're here to get what we need and we'll all meet back here in a couple of hours." Pein said, he whipped out a large checklist, and began to run through it quietly.

"Right." The group responded, as they broke up and went their separate ways. Deidara was just walking away when he felt a hand pull his shoulder back. He looked behind him to see Pein staring him into the eyes.

"Oh and Deidara, please take good care of Tobi."

"What? I have to watch over... That guy 'un?" He whispered hoarsely, pointing at Tobi who was talking to a water fountain as he watched the water shoot up.

"Yup."

"But why me? Why can't you?"

"Everyone else is too busy and you're the one who said you'd probably be bored coming to the mall since you didn't like shopping."

A large sweat drop slipped behind Deidara's head as he remembered himself saying just that.

"Okay, split!" Pein yelled, sprinting away from Deidara.

Deidara looked to his side in disgust as Tobi practically crawled his way next to him. His eye was alight with joy and Deidara had to restrain himself from punching him.

"OH MY GOD! I HAVE MY OWN ACTION FIGURE!" Hidan shouted in amazement. He and Kazuku were at a little cart selling action figures from all over like Naruto, Sasuke and everyone else.

"AND I'M SO FREAKING SEXY!"

"Yes these little things are quite... Cute..." he said glancing at the price tags. "Although, I'd rather not pay for these."

"WHATEVER! I'd like to buy 100... No 200 of these please!"

A sweat drop slipped behind Kakuzu's head as he watched is insane partner practically buy the whole stand.

Following Itachi... (Stalkers)

Itachi was walking around the eye liner section of "Hot Topic".

"Yes! I found some eyeliner." He cheered silently and deposited the black eyeliner into his basket, and continued on in the store.

He looked at a mirror, thinking, Hmm I wonder what it would look like if I used red eyeliner instead of my usual black eye liner for my eye bag thingies...

"ITA- SAN! YOU'RE AT HOT TOPICS! I KNEW YOUR EYE BAG THINGIES WERE DRAWN ON!" cried a familiar voice. Itachi froze in place, recognizing who it was behind him.

Crap.. It's that fan girl that made us do that stupid Christmas play. Anna? Amelia? Um... Aesir! Oh no.. Oh gods, please save me.

Itachi dropped his basket, and sprinted out the door at full speed

"WAIT ITA- SAN I NEED YOUR AUTOGRAPH!" Aesir called after him, also running at full speed.

Now following Sasori... Love...

Sasori is looking around the barbie section, looking at all the barbies. Hmm Iwonder which barbies would make good models for puppets... How durable are they?

He grabbed a box looks at it, then shrugs and begins to pool them into his tiny cart.

With Pain

Pein was hanging out at Claire's getting more piercings of course, with many little girls staring at his piercings in awe.

"Wow mister... You sure have a lot of piercings!" remarked a little blonde girl. She sat comfortably in a small pink plastic chair with a Barbie magazine laid out in her lap.

"Yeah whatever..." Pein replied. He grabbed a black pair of rose earrings, and headed to the check out counter.

Following Zetsu

"Aww you're so cute." Zetsu cooed to a Venus fly plant. It blushed a dark green and turned away in embarrassment.

"I think I'll name you Zetsu the girl!" Zetsu's white side remarked happily. He grabbed it lovingly by the pot, and began to walk down the other aisles of the outside garden.

He passed a small orchard full of pink and red trees. "Ew... That Sakura looks like a monster!" Said the white half.

"Cherry blossoms... WAY too pink..." agreed the black half. He stuck his tongue out at the sakura tree, who had stuck its' middle branch at him.

With Kisame

Kisame was stupidly making fish faces with the little guppies floating in the tanks, half scared to death of the giant shark face staring hungrily at them.

"Mmm I'd really like some fish right now." Kisame muttered to himself, drool pouring out of his mouth like a waterfall.

He looked around to make sure no one was looking, then grabbed inside the tank to gobble up the goldfish.

"Yum... Time to look for some more food." He said happily, now eying a puffer fish who glared at him.

And finally with Konan, Deidara and Tobi

"Tobi likes shopping." Tobi said cheerfully, still speaking his third-person, out of this world language.

"We know 'un we know, you've told us that 50 million times," Deidara said impatiently, practically breathing fire.

These Akatsuki members were hanging out in the girl's clothes department, Konan looking for some robes and also for origami. Deidara was, also looking at a "strangely adorable" dress.

"Okay, well I'm going to go try on some things so you can go leave now." She said as she walked into a dressing room, happy to leave the other two who were still fighting.

I'll just hide in here with origami until it's time to leave. she thought, rubbing her temples. It had only been about 10 minutes and she was already ready to jump out of the nearest window.

"Crud... I'm alone with..." He gulped dramatically. "TOBI..." he hissed.

"Ohh Tobi likes these clothes." Tobi said cheerfully.

"Really 'un? Why don't you try them on... Yeah..."

"Okay!"

He went into a little girl's dressing room with a pink dress in his hands, then came out, a couple little girls also running and screaming out with him.

"Ta- da! Is Tobi pretty is Tobi pretty?"

Deidara began to snort, as he chocked out, "Y-yeah.. Un... You look great 'un"

"Okay let's buy it!" he said as he flounced off in his new dress.

Deidara was about to follow then decided, "Hey, Tobi's a pretty smart kid, he'll be able to find his way back to where the group will be meeting. Besides I'm not actually leaving him... not really he won't get lost."

And he walked the opposite direction to where the group would be meeting again leaving Tobi gawking at another mechanical ride for children.

Everyone was now together quietly sitting at a table, Itachi looking around wildly for his crazy fan girl, Sasori already taking apart Barbie's arms and legs and adding them to another puppet body. Zetsu was talking to about 20 plants, Kisame talking to his new pet shark, and Deidara snickered to himself, wondering where the hell Tobi was. Konan was playing with some more origami, Pein playing with yet another piercing, Hidan staring at his action figure as if it were the sexiest thing in the world and Kazuku staring at Hidan's receipt. His eyes were practically jumping out of their sockets with disgust at how much Hidan's new toys had cost... "Devil toys" he had told Hidan.

"Where' Tobi? We're about to leave but we can't until he's here. Deidara where did you leave him?" Pein suddenly asked, looking up from his new collection of piercings.

"Leave him 'un? I didn't leave him anywhere he wandered off on his own, yeah."

"Right, so where did he wander off we need to leave now the store's closing soon."

"Y-yeah we need to leave soon before she finds out where I'm hiding again." Itachi stuttered nervously, looking wildly around the area.

"I don't know 'un, so let's go."

He got up as the rest the group began to follow.

Pein sighed as he said aloud, "Oh well, Tobi always does manage to return, he'll return sooner or later, he always does."

And they left, while Tobi was still missing lost in the mall as it closed.

"ITA- SAN I FOUND YOU!" came a loud enthusiastic cry of relief.

"OH CRAP SHE FOUND ME!" he yelled, beginning to run into the sunset.

And he began running away again, Aesir following him... Yet again.