I sat, my head bowing, holding back tears that night. That night of the vigil. Petalclaw's vigil. My mother, Mothbreeze, sat close by me, My father on the other side. Our heads held high for her, because it would please her to know how strong we were for her. Then, my Mother walked over to her sister, lying by her, licking her forehead. Then, a tear dropped down her cheek. Falconfur, my fater, walked over to his mate, and murmured something gentle. Mothbreeze got up and walked to the warrior den with him. All of the cats were alseep now. I was the only one out. So, I lied by Petalclaw. The moon shone in the sky, and the stars twinkled. I wondered what star she was. The stars comforted me, because I knew she was up there.
"It's my fault." I mumbled. "I should have helped... I should have brought you to camp while you were still alive." My claws flexed in and out. I pressed my pale pink nose to her bright ginger fur, hoping her scent still lingered, but it didnt. All I could smell was death. A smell I was somewhat used to. Was this the third time I had caused death? I believe so... I rested my head on her neck, closing my eyes and falling asleep...
I woke up, Thunderstar was prodding me with his paw. "I am sorry, but it is time for the elders to bury her." He said. I nodded and got up, watching the four elders, Nightwing, Leafblade, Cloudtail and Duskfang, carry her. I was on my own now. Suddenly, I heard my name in an echo saying, "Do not worry, you are not alone, dear. I am here. I'll always be here to guid you." It was her! I made a weak smile, knowing that she was still able to speak to me and guid me, comforted me. But my heart still ached. It will never be the same again. I will miss her scent, how she would complain and grumble at times, and how she congratuated me...
"Fawnpaw." Thunderstar said, "You will now be Fawnstream!" Thunderstar announced, the cats cheered.
"Wait!" I said. The cats became silent. "I dont want to be called Fawnstream..."
"What is it you want to be called?" Asked Thunderstar.
"I wish to be called Fawnpetal, in dedication to my wonderful former mentor who risked her life for me... Petalclaw." I managed to choke out her name. Every time I did, I seemed to grieve more and more...
"Very well then, you are now Fawnpetal! You will be known for your love and pure heart." He announced, and the cats cheered louder this time. "Fawnpetal is now our Medicine cat! She will also be training Lightpaw, who wishes to be a medicine apprentice rather than a warror." Lightpaw was a she-cat with orange eyes and short white fur. Her blazing eyes resembled Petalclaws'... I walked over to her and she quitely and respectfully sat by me
"Now, Pondpaw will be Pondmist. She will be known for her strength and respect. She's now a warrior." She sat by the cheering cats.
"Finally, Graypaw's name will be Graystone. He will now be a warrior known for his energy and determination." The cats cheered and he sat down with them.
I sighed and lead Lightpaw to the den. She was silent the whole way. "This is the Medicine den. And over here..." I lead her to an area full of herbs. "is where the herbs are stored." She nodded her head, looking around. "Now over here..." I said, showing her a puddle of water surrounded by moss, "Is where the patients can have water. Its only for them, so use it just when needed." I said trying to sound cheerful. But I must have cracked because I saw a lock of my former mentors fur and I felt a tear slide across my cheek.
"...Whats wrong?" Asked Lightpaw shyly.
"Er, nothing... Dont worry about it..." I said, drying up my tears quickly.
"Alright..." She said. I could tell that Lightpaw was very good at minding her own business.
"How about I teach you about herbs and what each one does." I said, my voice cracking every once in a while.
It was finally dark and I spent all day teching Lightpaw. I found out that she was a very patient, smart, respectful and quiet young she-cat; the perfect medicine cat apprentice.
I lied down in the soft moss, Lightpaw in the one next to me. Suddenly, I heard her whimper 'mother' and 'father' as she slept. I carefully prodded her awake. "Are you okay?" I whispered. She stared at me, motionless, then suddenly, she nodded. But I knew something was up so I sat down, curling my feathery-like tail around my paws. "Where are your mother and father?" I asked in a gentle voice, knowing this may be a touchy subject for her.
She was motionles for a long time, then she finally said, "They are gone... They died..."
"Oh." I said. "I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe I should stop acting like I have it so difficult, when I havent even seen you cry a single tear and your parents are dead..."
"Well, I wasnt even close to them. You were close to Petalclaw, and she died at your paws from what I heard. Now thats rough. I'm really tired. Goodnight, Fawnpetal." She said, resting her head on her paws and she shut her eyes.
"Goodnight." I whispered, curling in a tight ball...
I was in the middle of a fire... Running... Running from someone... "Fawnpetal!" A voice shouted many times... Eching in my head. "Fawnpetal!" It went... The sound of a she-cat... Fire burned my lungs... My eyes watered from the smoke... What is your fate? What is your fate? What is your fate... An echoing voice whispered over and over as I ran... That voice was Petalclaw, I knew it was... But the other voice shouting my name... I had not a clue... But something seemed familiar...
My eyes opened, the sunlight hit my face. It was only a dream. Perhaps a sign from Starclan? I sighed and got up. I noticed that Lightpaw was still sleeping, so I decided to let her sleep a little longer, she trained well. I walked out of my den, the sweet aroma of flowers wafting to my nose. "Hey Fawnpetal." A voice said. It was Pondmist. She sat by me. "How is everything?"
"Er... It's fine." I said quickly.
"Doesnt sound like it."
"Okay fine, it's not. I miss Petalclaw so much!" I said, clawing the soft, green grass.
"I'm sorry to hear that. She was a great medicine cat."
"Yeah." I sighed.
"What about Lightpaw, how is training her going?"
"Wonderful! She already memorized tons of herbs on her first day... So different than I was." I said.
"Oh."
"And what about you?"
"Great!"
"Thats good to hear." I said.
"Cats of Springclan!" I heard Thunderstar announce. So, I ran over to Lightpaw, woke her up and we all gathered. "I have special news today... We now have a deputy!" He said exitedly, "Our new deputy is Rainshadow!" He announced. The cats cheered as Rainshadow, a light gray tom with blue eyes and black stripes, made his way to the leader. He bowed his head. He was officially the new deputy.
"Now lets do some training." I said, walking out of camp, Lightpaw following behind. We sat by the pond. It made me think of that time when I fell in. I shook my head to get the thought out of my mind. "Okay, can you recite your herbs yet? Its fine if you cant. I'm just curious." I said kindly. She easily recited many herbs. "Great job!" I congratuated.
She smiled. "Really?" She asked.
"Yeah, really," I said, "I was terrible at your age..." I murmured.
"How?"
"I couldnt get any herbs right. I was a clumsey fool. I couldnt heal the former leader so he died..." I didnt want to say more.
"Oh, well I wouldnt have even guess you were that way." She said.
"Okay, how about you get some cat tail since were at the pond anyway." I said, changing the subject. "I have to go... Do something... I'll be back." I said, regretting how strange that sounded.
"Sure, Fawnpetal." Said Lightpaw, suspicious. She began to walk around the pond so I quickly got on my paws and ran, smiling. Shadow's scent was near. I could smell it grow stronger and stronger.
"Fawnpetal!" I heard his voice. He ran to me and we brushed cheeks.
"Hey Shadow." I said sweetly.
"So, how have you been?"
"Great."
"Thats good."
"I have been thinking about you."
"Me too. You." He said. We both sat down and I leaned against him, breathing in his scent and taking in his warmth.
"I must go now." I said, realizing that Lightpaw probably got the cat tail by now.
"When will we meet again?"
"Tonight. I'll try to see you every night, okay?" I said, licking his cheek.
Then, I ran off over to Lightpaw. "good job!" I said, seeing how much she had gathered. "Here, let me carry some for you..." I said, taking some in my mouth. We walked back to camp.
Finally back at camp, we put the cat tail up and walked outside the den for fresh air. I saw Firepaw, a ginger tom with blue eyes set some fresh kill; Two rabbits, in front of us. "Thank you." I said. He smiled and ran off. I noticed Lightpaw staring at him, then slowly bite into her rabbit. "You like him." I said, pointing it out lightly.
"Yeah, I admit it." She said, taking another bite.
I took two small bites but that was all I felt like eating. I was too eager to see Shadow. Lightpaw must have noticed, but she didnt say a word. "Hey, you can go talk to him if you want."
"You dont need me to do anything for you?"
"No, its fine. Go ahead, enjoy yourself." I said smiling.
"Thanks." She said, walking off.
All day, I thought of Shadow... I couldnt wait to meet him once again... I knew medicine cats werent suppost to be in love, but I cant help how I feel! The only cat in the clan who knew was Pondmist.