Hey so I know that I said this chapter would be up a lot sooner but time has been doing some weird stuff with me. The days seem to take forever but the week goes by super fast, if that makes any sense to you, I have no idea. But that's what it feels like. School has been well school. I've started the getting ready for college too, which I will be starting in August. So that has taken up a lot of time and plus I haven't had much time to write. My mom's been having a hard time so I'm trying to spend less time on the computer and more time with her. So I'm honestly not sure when the next chapter will be and I apologize for that. I know I get frustrated when I read stories and people don't update regularly. But please stick with me.

This chapter is not beta-ed. My best friend/beta is just as busy as I am with life so any mistakes are mine. I just did a quick read-through to try and catch anything but I'm sure there are more mistakes. Sorry about that.

Last thing. I know that you aren't really liking the Nick/Sara relationship, but it is gonna get a little more intense between the two of them. But you know when you get a story in your head that you've gotta get out before your head explodes? Well that's how this story is for me. I know where I want it to go and Nick and Sara have to get together in order for the story to get there. It will end GSR though. And I'll try not to linger on the Snickers for to long, but it will be for a little while.

Alright, I think that's everything. I want to write some more today, but not sure if I'll be able too. Please review and let me know what you think, I'm not really sure if I like how this chapter ended up but oh well. Enjoy

Chapter 19 "The Kiss." Seemed Like Such A Good Idea At The Time by The Darkness

Sara felt his lips against hers; she closed her eyes. It felt wrong and yet right at the same time, even though she knew that was impossible. 'I shouldn't be doing this.' She thought, but she didn't pull away. She didn't even try to stop him. Instead, she embraced it. She melted into his arms. Letting go of everything that had been locked up inside of her for the past two weeks.

As they both pulled apart it was like the world had suddenly came back into focus. The music had picked up, the people around were dancing and laughing. Totally oblivious to the two people who were standing silent and still in the middle of the commotion, who had done something neither ever imagined.

They had kissed. One simple and yet complicated kiss. They had always had a relationship, but it was more 'close friends', 'brother/sister' then anything else. They hadn't even thought of making it into something more. And yet there they stood. Gazing into each others eyes.

Nick took her hand and led her through the crowd of people. She followed him blindly. Still caught up in what had just happened. Before she knew it they were outside. She watched Nick as he walked around in circles looking agitated.

"Sara, oh God, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean to do that. I don't know what I was thinking. It just-it just felt like the right thing to do, you know? God. I'm so sorry. I never meant to do that. I swear I didn't plan on this happening. Oh Sara."

Sara looked at him blankly. Still trying to decide how she felt about the situation. Was she even okay with it? Was she mad at him? Was she mad at herself for kissing him back?

She closed her eyes, trying to think. How could one kiss cause so much confusion and turmoil? An effortless exchange of emotion, a way of expressing compassion and love. But what kind of love were they sharing? That was the million dollar question.

Was it something more then friendship? Could it be something more? Sara felt like she was on emotional over load. Everything was flooding into hear head at once and she couldn't seem to slow it down. Was she still in love with Grissom? Could Nick love her in that way? After everything that had happened over the past weeks, could she love him in that way?

A billion unanswered questions shot through her mind. She didn't know which one she should try to answer first. So she stood there; just watching him. She knew that she should say something to calm his nerves, but how could she try and give him comforting words of wisdom when she had no idea what to do either?

Her head began to throb and the last thing she needed right now was a migraine. So she focused on her breathing, which was slow and deep. She thought was odd and somewhat out of place for the situation at hand. She should be freaking out right now.

Not that she wasn't on the inside, but in her life her emotions had always gotten the best of her. She let her anger show quickly, she was fast to judge and opinionate. But now she was too calm. It was a strange feeling and it bothered her.

Nick stopped his pacing. As if suddenly realizing that someone was there with him. "Are you okay?"

"That's a really stupid question, Nick." Sara said softly.

"Yeah...Right." He said, looking a little ashamed.

"But, no." Sara looked to the ground, not sure if she could hold his gaze. "I'm not okay. I don't know what the hell I am right now, Nick...We just kissed."

"I know...So, what do we do now?" Nick asked, feeling completely lost. "Do we talk about it?"

Sara scoffed sarcastically. "And look at were talking got us before. Right into this."

"You got a better idea then?"

As soon as the words left his mouth he looked at her apologetically. "I...I didn't mean that in the way it sounded."

Sara sighed. She wanted nothing more then to tell everyone that she was going into hibernation and was not to be bothered for a month. But of course, life just had to be difficult. And hibernation was, unfortunately, not a plausible option.

"Alright then. Let's talk."

"Do you wanna-" Nick motioned back to the bar, but Sara shook her head.

"No. If I start freaking out spastically I don't want a whole room full of people there to witness it."

Nick smiled at her. "Should I call in a SWAT team?"

"Ha no." Sara said, glaring at him. "Drive and talk?"

"Works for me."

The first fifteen minutes were somewhere beyond awkward that there wasn't even a word to describe it. The radio played softly in the background, some country station Nick had it on before.

"Cold night, huh?"

Sara had to stop herself from jumping at Nick's voice breaking the deep silence. She had to smile at his sad but cute attempt at starting the conversation. "Yeah, sure is."

Quickly after there conversation, if that's what it would even be called, the silence fell over them again. Nick had taken one of the back country roads, leading out into the dessert. The night was indeed cold, but the sky was clear and bright.

The farther they got away from the lights of Vegas, the brighter the stars became. He pulled off on the side of the road and turned the engine off, with it the radio. Leaving them in complete silence.

Nick thought for sure Sara could hear his beating heart. He glanced over at her but her eyes were looking straight forward, out into the night. He swallowed hard; trying to work up the courage to say something.

"Did you mean it?"

"Um d-did I mean what, exactly?" Nick said, totally taken aback by Sara's sudden question.

Sara had to suppress the urge to roll her eyes. She wanted to say 'What do you mean what? You should know!', but she held her tongue. "The kiss. Did you really mean it?"

He looked down at his hands; thinking. "Yeah...You know, I did."

"Nick..."

"Don't-just don't say anything, Sara. I get it if it didn't mean anything to you. I just-"

"But it did." The words fell from her lips before she even thought about what they really meant. "It-it did mean something to me. I'm...I'm uh just not exactly sure what it meant."

"So you were okay with it?"

Sara looked out the window. "God, this is hard to do."

"If you don't-"

"Nick, look it's not you okay. I'm just-" She sighed. "This is me freaking out, alright? My thoughts are going through my head at like a hundred miles an hour and it's really hard to get those thoughts into words. And better yet, get those words into actual sentences you can understand. This is, you know, pretty dang hard to do right now."

He smiled. "Yeah. That's sounds pretty tough."

"You know that I love you. But right now, I'm just not sure if I can love you in that way. We've been such good friends for so long now, I'm not sure if I can afford to lose that by making it an actual relationship. And after everything with...with Grissom, I'm honestly not sure if I'm ready for love again. And I know that I can't handle having my heart broken a second time."

"I won't break your heart, Sara. I swear I won't. Not like he did. If we do this, whatever the hell it is, I will be true to you and if we find that it's not working I will be honest and up front with you. I promise you that."

"But Nick, I can't make that promise to you. I can't guarantee that I'll stick with this. And I don't want you making promises like that. We don't know what's to come down the road. Where our lives are going to take us. I don't want you to be tied to something that you end up changing your mind about.

Nick, I know you. Even if we do see where this goes and end up finding it's not for us, you'll stick with it because you don't want to hurt me and I don't want that. I know that I'm not making complete sense right now because the stupid words don't come out right and please just stop me at any time. But-" Sara sighed, frustrated with herself.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is - I don't want you to feel obligated to stay with me just because it's what you think I want. Just because of some stupid, spur of the moment, promise you made after a single kiss...Do you get where I'm coming from?"

"Yeah, I do Sara. But I'm a grown man. I know what I'm getting myself into. I know this may not work and I am being one hundred percent up front and honest with you when I say that if I don't like where this ends up, I will tell you."

Sara bit her lip. Was she ready for this? Could she handle being in a relationship again? And so soon after Grissom? "Okay."

"Okay what?" Nick asked, confused.

"Okay, let's see where this thing goes. But we just-we take it slow and by slow I mean like at a snails pace. And the moment one of us feels uncomfortable or unsure, we say something right away, without fear that the other will be mad. Alright?"

Nick smiled a big Texas smile at her. "Alright."

Sara sat alone in her apartment. Everything was so silent and still except for the faint sound of Hank snoring in the other room. Sara didn't bother to turn on any lights when she came home, although it was still dark out. When Nick had dropped her off, she'd walked numbly up the stairs, set her keys on the counter and sat down on the couch. And she'd been there since.

The answering machine blinked with two new messages but she didn't bother to listen to them. She already knew it would be Catherine, Warrick or Greg. Calling to check up on her make sure she was alright. She still felt horrible about what had happened earlier that night, but right now she was too exhausted to do anything about it. It was one problem that could wait till tomorrow.

It wasn't like she didn't have anything else to worry about. She'd kissed Nick. Or he had kissed her, she wasn't exactly sure. But the point was - they kissed. She knew that saying okay to the possibility of a relationship wasn't the best idea. But she was lonely. The last two weeks had been so quiet and depressing she kind of figured she owed it to herself to have a little fun.

But as time went on and the more she thought about it, the more she wasn't so sure that it was a good idea.

Please reivew! Thanks