Explanations

Gaara's POV

I sat on the apartment rooftop, gazing up at the moon. I was sitting atop my sand container and pondering the mystery that is Kira.

Suddenly I froze. I could hear soft footsteps. Someone was leaping off the tree and onto my rooftop. I couldn't tell who it was, but I didn't turn to look. Only stared straight ahead at the moon. The person came closer. The pattern of his or her footsteps was unfamiliar to me.

"So this is what you do at night, huh?" A clear voice came from behind me.

I couldn't help it; I spun around to look at her.

Her long, shiny brown hair was neatly tied into two pretty braids that hung like woven ribbons at her sides. She was no longer wearing her jumpsuit (though that's no way to describe the strange but attractive objects of clothing that she was wearing earlier) but had put on cottony pants, a tank top, and an evening robe. Apparently, this is what someone would call her "pjs".

She seemed to be taking in my appearance as well, though I was positive that there was nothing real interesting to look at.

"Yeah…" I replied gruffly and turned back towards the starry sky.

I flashed back to earlier today. My actions were clearly irrational, but I had found that I was unable to control my emotions towards her. All of that anger and came had come back in a huge rush, followed quickly by sadness.

Hence why I ran from the scene.

I wondered what she thought of me, now.

I didn't hear her move any closer. She lingered there, standing just a few yards behind me.

Her silence was telling me that she either was thinking of something to say, or had so much to say that she didn't know where to begin.

That's fine, I like silence. But despite myself I made a comment. "Why, aren't you supposed to be sleeping? That is what normal people do during the night, correct?" my tone was rude but I didn't really care.

At least I thought I didn't.

She laughed nervously. "Well, yeah, but I couldn't sleep." Her tone was light. Casual, but very thoughtful. My cranky mood didn't seem to faze her at all.

I blinked up at the moon and expected more silence, but instead I suddenly found that she was standing closer then she was a few seconds before. Now she was only a few feet away from me. She looked thoughtfully up at the stars. "You always did like high places, if I can remember right."

"I like to see things," I said, sweeping my eyes over the sleeping leaf village. "And I enjoy night because it's very quiet." Why and how was I telling her this? I had no idea, but the words seemed to pour out of my mouth like an eager waterfall. It was easy to talk to her, even though I hadn't seen her and had been burning over her for the last seven years.

I felt her eyes on my back. She took another hesitant step towards me. I flinched.

She noticed and backed off right away. "What's the matter?"

I didn't answer and let her stand in eerie silence. I tried to forget she wasn't there, closing my eyes and focusing on the sound of the wind moving through the leaves of a nearby tree. Such a soothing whisper…

But after trying for a while, the only kind of whispering I could focus on was her breathing. She was breathing slowly, I guessed that she was probably tired despite what she had said.

"Kankuro and Temari… told me our story after you left." I admitted after another long pause.

"Hm, I'm not surprised." Her voice told me that she was smiling.

"You didn't tell them what happened after your village was destroyed…" I was glad she couldn't see my expression. I was curious, in spite of myself.

"Oh yeah …" She walked over and sat next to me.

Why so bold all of a sudden?

She grinned at me. "I'm not scared of you, Gaara."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "You should be."

"Why?" she replied in a very defiant manner.

I growled. "Because! I could kill you any second and you wouldn't even have any time to blink."

Her eyebrow rose. "Oh really?"

"Yes really."

She shrugged and looked away. "Fine then. Go ahead."

I paused, surprised.

After a few silent minutes of struggling to decide whether I should kill her or not, Kira turned back towards me and stuck out her tongue.

"See, I knew you couldn't do it."

Anger boiled inside me at her rude gesture, and the cork popped off of the container of sand that we were both sitting on.

Sand started rushing out of the container.

Kira didn't seem to notice.

"So, anyway, about my childhood," She said, dramatically changing the subject. "I was saved by the animals in the forest outside my old village."

The sand stopped.

I was momentarily interested. "The… animals?"

"Yeah," she said. "You know, deer and squirrels and wild cats and stuff. Ever since I was little I've always had a special connection with nature, especially with animals. My dad said it had something to do with my Grandma living with them and that it was in my blood or whatever. I use animals in most of my nature techniques." She explained, excited. "I can even talk to some creatures! Well… telepathically. Mostly mammals and birds, and I can read human minds a little. I seem to have a hard time with reptiles and fish, though. I think that's because they are cold blooded…"

I listened to her babble for a while, slightly amused. She went on about other villages she'd stayed at and trained. In the Sound village she had learned to master her telepathy. In the Land Hidden in the Waves she had gotten her junin headband, but she didn't like to wear it.

Finally I couldn't stand listening to her talk anymore so I forced some sand into her mouth.

She spat it out. "Ugh, ew Gaara now I'm gonna have sand in my teeth!" then she laughed. "Sorry for boring you, but next time tell me when you want me to shut up. Or at least think it."

I closed my eyes. Her laugh was still ringing in my ears like a charming bell. The sound vibrated through my head in a strange soothing sort of way. I strained to saver every note and echo.

Finally the voice died and I was left in silence again. I opened my eyes to see Kira sitting closer to my side and staring up into the night sky. Her eyes were wide and a deep blue in color.

Huh, I thought she had greenish eyes. Must be the light.

I followed her gaze toward the stars and immediately felt relaxed.

After a while she spoke up again. "Gaara-san… Are you still… I mean…." She struggled, trying to find the proper words to say. "What's up with you and love?"

I stared hard at my feet. "I love only myself. I fight only for myself. I kill people to make me feel alive." My voice was cold and sharp. I could feel Kira staring at my in astonishment but I kept my eyes down.

I continued, "I am utterly alone and I don't trust anyone."

There was a moment of silence.

I expected her to freak out, or give up on me, or turn away or something like that.

Instead she did the complete opposite of what I was expecting.

She snorted and said: "Well what kind of a life is that?"

I looked up at her. She was making a weird face at me, almost like a smirk.

"Sounds like you don't have much to live for, huh? Gaara, do you even know what love is?" her voice was surprisingly warm. "Love is a beautiful thing! But I'm not gonna lie, it is true that love can hurt sometimes."

I was having trouble understanding what exactly she was talking about. Besides, I was still caught off guard by her attitude and by how incredibly interesting she was.

She read my mind.

"Well," she put her hands out and went straight into explaining mode. "The Webster's explanation for love is 'an intense affection for another person' or 'wanting the best for someone.' This is very right and true, but my definition of love is a little different. For instance, there are four kinds of love."

What's a "Webster?"

"Dictionary." Kira said plainly.

The fact that she could read my mind was somewhat annoying.

She lifted her index finger. "First, is the kind of love you have for your family," She held up two fingers. "Second, is the love you have for your friends," Three fingers "and third, the love you have for your… uh, 'significant other.'" she winked at me. "There is also a love for God, but I don't really think you know about Him. I'll get to that later."

"Now," she went on, " Each kind of love is different from the other, yet totally the same…"

She was babbling again. This girl really liked to hear herself talk. Either that, or she just had a lot to say and not enough time to say it.

I tried to speak but she cut me off, so I attempted to pay attention. It was useless to try and make her stop.

After listening to her for about five minutes I was getting tired of the word "love" so I tuned her out and focused on the moon. It was a half-moon, one side giving off a silvery glow, while the other dark and cast in shadow. It was a shame, the moon looked ten times more beautiful when it was full, why couldn't it shine on both sides?

Suddenly I realized that Kira had stopped babbling, and was looking at me expectantly as if he had just asked me a question.

I gave her a look of what I hoped was annoyance.

"I take that as a no. Don't worry, I'll explain that next." She half joked.

I really felt that now was a good time to stop that form happening.

She was about to continue but I threw in the first thing that came to mind. "You said these kinds of love are also similar…?"

She nodded. "Oh yes. They all have plenty of things in common. The person you love, whether they're a friend or a family member, is precious to you and you want desperately to protect them."

I remembered what Yashamaru had said about love, so many years before.

It was a difficult thing to go back to. I cringed at all the memories that had been locked up inside me, unexplored for so long.

I glanced at Kira out of the corner of me eye. She was stifling a yawn, and she struggled to open her eyes again each time she blinked.

She's like a child.

"You should get some sleep." I suggested.

She sighed. "Yeah, okay, you're probably right." She didn't even try to hide her next yawn, which was huge by the way. "Exams are tomorrow…"

She slumped against my shoulder for a minute. "You guys are going, right?" her voice was softer now, and slightly croaky.

Must have been from all that talking.

"Mm sorry about that…" she mumbled. "I just missed you…"

I turned to look at her, very much aware that she was leaning on me now. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was slightly open. Every second her breathing became slower, and slower, and deeper…

Kira, she girl that I hadn't seen in I don't even know how many years, was falling asleep on my shoulder.

And what did I do about it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing! Still, now, I don't even know what I could have, or should have done. I was just so stunned.

So I let her sleep, wondering what she could be dreaming about.

I gazed up at the moon again, and was surprised to find what it reminded me of.

Us.