My Decision

by TMSescritura

Sookie sets her mind on making a tough, life changing decision. Set after the events of book nine not 10 .

2. Stipulations

(2) Stipulations

The next few days are a blur. When I am at home I clean the house and do all of the chores that I can think of to do each day. When I run out of things to keep me occupied I break down and cry wondering if I'm doing the right thing and if I can keep this up. When I am at work, I am Ms. Efficiency. I am super attentive to my customers and whenever there is a lull, I find some way to fill my time by finding some chore to do like sweeping the floor, filling up the condiment containers and napkin holders on the tables, or rubbing water spots off of the glasses.

Aside from Eric, and now Alcide, Mr. Cataliades is the only person that knows what is going on. My guards know that something is up; they even call their Pack Master because they were worried. Apparently Alcide has not shared the news with them; Alcide heard it from the demon lawyer since pack business is part of the supernatural bull that I'm trying to stay away from. I tell Alcide that I am not ready to talk about it yet. Although this is true, I am more worried that once word gets out that it will make Eric look weak and undermine him somehow. My vampire guards have also noticed. Bill asks, but I give him the same response that I give to Alcide's pack mates.

Tonight is a good night for me to work; Merlotte's is busier than a rooster in a hen house. I do my best to ignore my brother, his best friend Hoyt, and my brother's friends from Hotshot. They keep giving me weird looks. Jason wants to know what is going on, but I haven't told him. I get from Hoyt that he has no information to share with Jason, his girlfriend Holly has not a clue what has gotten into me.

Holly isn't the only person at Merlotte's to notice my new attitude. All of the waitresses have asked me if I'm alright, even a couple that I know who don't like me or are a bit afraid of me. The waitresses as well as Antoine and D'Eriq think that I caught my gorgeous Viking with a Fangbanger. None of them say this to me, but since I'm a telepath I know darn well what they're thinking. Terry Bellefleur isn't so sure that he agrees with the others' hypothesis, the sweet man thinks that I would never date someone capable of behaving in such a way. Sam rightfully suspects that my mood has to do with what I had to tell Eric, but I haven't told him yet either.

I know that they are conspiring, Sam, Jason, his friends, my guards; they all want to know what is going on. Pam walks into the building. I look out the window and then at the clock, I hadn't realized that it was night time already. The other vampire du jure comes in with her and stands near the bar. I sense that the others in the room are about to ask Pam if she knows what's going on. But they don't, because Pam walks right up to me looking worried and miffed. No, make that pissed.

Pam says, "Tell me what the fuck is going on." I look at her for a moment but don't answer. She continues, "Eric isn't telling. He's pissed and I don't know why. Sookie, if I don't know what's wrong I can't help him."

I look up at Pam, "A, I do not want to talk about it. B, I'm at work. My shift isn't over for another half hour..." I have "C" in mind but Pam cuts me off.

She snaps, "Listen you Little Shit! That vampire..."

Sam intervenes, "Why don't you two ladies use my office." He starts herding us in that direction while he calls to the other waitresses, "Lexi, Holly, could you take Sookie's tables for a bit?" The two ladies turn toward him and nod in agreement. I narrow my eyes at Sam. Why on God's Green Earth is Sam helping a vampire?

The office door closes. Pam eyes Sam. Sam breaks the brief silence and says, "I'm guessing that whatever it is has to do with whatever you had to say to your vampire?" Sam shifts his posture, "Would you like me to stay?"

Pam is pissed, I can see it. Well, I feel that way too. I tell Sam, "No, what I would like is for the three of us to leave here. I have a job to do and I'm not getting it done standing in here."

"You are running yourself ragged, Sookie." Sam looks at me with concern, "You need to talk to someone."

"Is it guilt?" Pam is seething. She steps toward me and narrows her eyes. I pray to never again see Pam look at me like this. She asks, "Who is he?"

I pull back, "Who is who Pam?"

Pam surmises, "You had something to say to my maker." She looks at Sam since she just got that from him. "I believe that you said it and pissed him off. Who did you fuck? Don't tell me that you fell for the tiger's spiel; if you did Eric will soon have a skin to his collection." She thinks for a moment, "Maybe not, damn shifters change to human after they die."

I exclaim, "What? Pam, you have no idea what you are talking about."

Pam comes closer. Sam moves as if to intervene. Pam sneers, "I won't kill her. Even if she has fucked someone else, Eric would stake me." Sam says nothing, but remains near me watching every move.

I tell her, I tell them, "I haven't been with anyone other than Eric since we got together; not that it's all y'all's business."

Pam takes one more step toward me. The office is small so now we're touching. Pam's face is hovering over me. The vampiress informs me "I'm not letting you leave until I know what is going on."

"If Eric wanted you to know, he'd have told you." I look at Pam and then add, "You can't keep me here forever; this office has a window and it doesn't have a bathroom. Human's have needs and all."

Pam smirks, "Eric is being a real dick lately and I intend to find out why. The window?" She looks at it, "...is not a problem, I can make this place light tight with very little effort. As for your human needs... have you never heard of a chamber pot? I'm sure we can find a suitable container for the day."

I lean back a little, trying to make some space between me and the Amazon Queen. I tell her, "Fine. I'll just walk out when you go to sleep. Just be happy that I'm not the kind of person that would drag your dead ass out into the sun!"

Pam's fangs snap down and she hisses. The vampiress grabs me by the throat I am terrified. The only things I can think of right now are that at least Pam will kill me more quickly than Neave and Lochlan had planned to, so I won't suffer long and that my heart is pounding so fast and hard that I might die from that first. Pam inhales my scent and makes like she is going to bite. Sam starts to move but then stops. I can't see their faces; I don't know why Sam isn't helping me.

Pam eases her grip and picks her head up to look at me. I reach for the phone on the desk but Pam puts her hand on mine and squeezes until I let go. She then rips the phone out of the wall. Her cell phone rings. Pam pulls it out of her pocket and drops it on the floor. Next, she "accidentally" steps on it. Pam complains, "Damn phones aren't made to last."

There is a knock on the door. One of my daytime guards (who haven't left yet) tells us that Eric is on the phone. Sam opens the door a little. I can't hear what they say to one another but I hear Pam tell the Were, "Sookie is having a bad night because some people started giving her a hard time. Her vampire guards have it covered, but my cell phone is damaged and Areeb's cell phone doesn't work out here in Hicksville." The door closes. Pam sees me looking at her and smirks, "What? Every word I said is true. Areeb has a terrible cellular plan."

Sam and Pam stare at me, waiting for me to speak. I say to them, "I'm not telling you." I tell Pam, "You'll hate me more than you ever did." Then I say to Sam, "You hate Eric and I don't want you using it against him." The thought that my actions might make Eric look weak in the vampire world has me worried. Pam has an odd look upon her face. I ask her, "What?"

Pam says, "Eric feels your concern for him. Yet he is not moving from his current location. What the hell did you do?"

I start to ask, "How..."

Pam cuts me off, "I'm his child. I know what Eric is feeling most of the time. You have had his blood so he feels you; this allows me to feel you to." Then she adds, "To a lesser extent." Her demeanor changes when she narrows her eyes at me once more and says, "He must be very pissed if he isn't coming to check on you himself. I will ask you one more time to tell me what is going on."

I tilt my head, "You know as well as I do that Eric will stake your ass if you kill me."

Pam has an evil, yet playful smile on her face. She retorts, "Oh, you're right, Eric would stake me for killing you. But," The vampiress emphasizes the next part with extended fangs, "accidents do happen."

I gulp, I'm not sure that Pam is bluffing. Sam breaks in, "Hey now! There's no need for that. We are here to help Sookie not hurt her." Pam simply turns her head toward him and Sam replies to her unspoken words, "Fine. You're here for Eric, but I'm here for Sookie. I couldn't give a damn about the Sheriff."

Dang this is taking forever. Why is everything with supernaturals so freakin' complicated? Pam wants to know because she wants to help Eric and Sam wants to know because he thinks that it'll help me to talk about it. Neither of them are caving in, even if Sam is nicer about it and not threatening bodily harm.

I sigh and say to them, "I don't want too many people knowing right now." They look at me and I start to sob, "I don't want Eric to get hurt." Darn it! I don't know why I said that. Sure I mean it, but I didn't mean to say it. Ugh!

Pam is even more intent now, "Someone is after him? That doesn't make any since... he doesn't brood and piss people off, the Sheriff goes and takes care of it." Pam takes my right hand in hers and gives a light squeeze. The squeeze tightens a bit and her body language tells me that she is in fact threatening to break the bones in my hand.

The determination in Pam scares me but I manage to say to her, "Eric will be pissed if you hurt me. You might say it was an accident, but he'll find out; he can tell when you're lying and he can compel you to tell him the truth."

Pam needs no time at all to form her response, "I have no doubt that the Sheriff will find out and that I will be punished. At the moment, I don't care." She looks at me and says, "I told you that I would not ask you again, so I am not." My hand is in a whole lot of pain as the pressure increases.

Sam tries to take her hand off of mine. He yells at her, "Stop! Pam, stop now!" Pam barely acknowledges him and flicks him off of her with her free hand. Sam flies across the small room and hits the wall; a few of his pictures and mementos fall down on and around him when he falls onto the floor. He starts toward the door.

Pam threatens him, "Touch the door handle or even take a deep breath to yell for help and you'll be dead before that door is open or you can exhale. Now sit down, shut up and leave us the fuck alone!"

"Jesus Christ, Shepherd of Judea, help me now." I address Pam. Sam too, but Pam is the one with the death grip on my hand. "Alright, alright. You have to promise me that you won't say anything to anyone right now. Only Eric, King Felipe de Castro, Alcide, and Mr. Cataliades know anything at all." The vampiress and the shifter both nod in agreement. I tell them, "I am having a contract made that will help me stay away from and out of all this supernatural honkey."

Pam looks at me funny; I guess she's never heard of bull honkey either. I say, "Shit... it's to stay out of supernatural shit."

I explain to them what the plan probably will entail. It's taking longer than I thought because Eric keeps insisting on changes. He keeps trying to put in loopholes here, addendums there on nearly every part of the proposed contract.

At first I do most of the talking. Pam, I think, is shocked to learn what is going on. Sam, though he is concerned for me since the whole thing upsets me, is thrilled that I may have found a way to get out from the supernatural world of politics -and the Vampire Viking too.

My spiel is at its end and I can't think of anything more to say. Pam no longer "holds" my hand at all. She looks at me and says, "I thought you considered me to be your friend. You could have talked to me Sookie. Sure, Eric can compel me to tell him everything but he hasn't used his compulsion on me in decades. You could have told me, I would have kept my mouth shut." Bull honkey! As if Pam is the mind reader she says, "I'm not saying that I'd sit back and do nothing. You do realize that aside from fucking Eric's life, the lives of everyone around him -yes I did say everyone around him because right now he is being an insufferable prick... you are fucking up your life too."

I look at the vampiress, "Pam, I already went over this. I love Eric, I really do. But asking him to quit his position to come be with me is unrealistic, we all know that." I chance a look at her, "And I can't deal with always having some major supernatural takeover, war, or whatever. Eric says that he can keep me safe, but what happened before..." I swallow and try to say the words, "What happened before proves that he can't always do that. No one can, that's not realistic. I am safer away from it all, and he is safer away from me."

The next, excruciatingly long, block of time is spent verbally sparring with Pam. Finally she says to me, "I really liked you Sookie. I thought I had finally found a breather that I could call a buddy. Hell, I even called you my telepathic friend. I don't think I shall want for another friend, it hurts too much." Then, the tall blonde leaves the office.

Sam tells me that he will be around if ever I need to talk. He escorts me back out to the dining room while telling me that I don't need to come in to work today. Sam thinks that I should get more than a handful of hours sleep. That's when I notice the rays of sun starting to show and the clock which confirms for me that it is now morning. My "talk" was way longer than I thought.

I pass through a mostly empty bar after returning to Sam's office to pickup my purse and keys. The only people here are my two werewolf guards and Terry, who's in early today to clean up the place to get it ready to open again in a few hours. Terry isn't too surprised that I'm still here; he knows that the men that follow me around are body guards so once he saw them he knew that I was still here. Terry bids me "good morning" as he starts to work. Sam heads for his trailer and watches my guards and me get into the car before he goes inside.

Once I get to my house, I make a beeline for my bedroom. I am physically and mentally exhausted. I think for a second about brushing my teeth and washing my face but I don't think I can stand long enough to take care of that. I go in any way since nature is calling. I very nearly fall asleep while I'm sitting on the porcelain throne. Once I'm done tending to my needs and washing up, I head for bed. I don't care if I sleep in my Merlotte's t-shirt tonight and I'll pick my shorts up off of the bathroom floor later when I'm awake.

The next morning is a little overcast which is fine by me. I wake up with a headache. Just freakin' fantastic. I think about my altercation with Pam and I can't help but cry. She was doing what she always does; she was looking out for Eric. It was clear to me that Pam too was hurt by my decision. Eric might not like it, but at least he understands. I don't want to lose him or Pam even. But I have had too many close calls and if I stay around supernatural beings my last day will be sooner rather than later. Worse than that so many people have died trying to get to me or to protect me as it is; it needs to stop. I would be inconsolable if Eric met his final death but I think I'd go truly insane if he died because he was protecting me. The only way that I could be relatively safe in the supernatural world would be to become a vampire and that's just not an option as far as I'm concerned.

I eat breakfast for lunch since I just woke up and it's lunch time. While I'm in the kitchen I notice that I have some messages on the answering machine. I must have been really tired to sleep through the phone ringing.

Most of my messages make me want to crawl into a hole somewhere. The first message is from Eric. He tells me that he has read over the proposed deal; he will not accept it as it is but he is willing to negotiate. What? Eric says that the demon lawyer will be in contact with me soon regarding the matter. Next up is Sam, he's calling to check up on me since I left Merlotte's this morning all upset. The third call I have is from Tara, we haven't talked in a while so she's calling to check up on me and to tell me how things are going at her house. Following that message is a hang up. I used to think that hang ups were from people that called the wrong number, telemarketers, or just plain want to talk to a human instead of a machine, but now such things make me a bit weary. I can't live my life paranoid and I try to push it aside. After erasing the non-message, I hear Amelia's voice. She is checking in to let me know that she made it back home to New Orleans. She doesn't blame me for her boyfriend Tray's death but knowing that he'd died protecting me is still a hard pill to swallow. The next message informs me that I have won an all expense paid trip for me and a companion; all I have to do is call the number provided, and tell them that I am interested in their program. They're interested in MY money. Finally the last message plays. Mr. Cataliades tells me that the wolves and the vampires are willing to deal but that they are demanding some changes to be made. He tells me what the major points of interest are and that if I agree to their terms he can revise the contract and have it ready for us to sign by the end of tomorrow. If not, then perhaps we can all sit down and hash it out in person.

This just smells of Eric. I can't tell if he is just trying to piss me off, or scare me into coming back to him. I am not going to agree to their demands. I call the lawyer's office.

Mr. Cataliades is not at all surprised with my reaction. He has a short list of acceptable dates and times, that the Long Tooth Pack representative and the Vampire Kingdom representative, are available. I want to get this over with as soon as I can so I pick tomorrow night; everyone will come here.

The next morning I clean house like a crazy woman. There will be at least one vampire, one werewolf and one demon in my house tonight. I am anxious and maybe even a bit nauseous. Luckily, I clean house regularly so I don't have to spend too much time or effort before heading for work.

When I get to Merlotte's, I have a sort of tunnel vision. I see a table with customers, take their orders, walk the orders to the hatch; that kind of thing. When there is a lull I zero in on something that should be done; like filling the salt shakers or dusting the napkin holders.

Sam says something to me, but I miss it until he snaps his fingers and waits for me to snap out of it. Then he tries again, "I'm worried about you... If you need to talk, I'm right here."

I inform Sam, "Thank you, I'm just a bit on edge tonight because we're meeting tonight to settle the contract. I'm sure I'll be better once things calm down."

Sam offers to let me off early tonight, but I don't need to leave early. I had set up the meeting time not only to allow myself time after work, but for Eric to come into the area from Shreveport.

Just as I am thinking that the night is passing by so slow that the meeting will never happen, I look at the clock. Claire comes in to take over my station; it's time for me to leave.

Once I'm home, I stash the bottled blood that I bought on the way home and then hop into the shower to get ready for company. I do not wish to greet people while wearing my Merlotte's uniform and smelling of greasy food. I'll wear a simple sun-dress instead.

Before I know it, my guests are arriving. The first to arrive is Eric; it almost breaks my heart. Eric does not smile or smirk; he wears the non-emotional face that most outsiders see. He is blocking his emotions from me somehow, but not completely. Before I have time to think about what he is feeling, Victor Madden arrives. I hadn't realized that the King was sending someone; I thought that Eric was his representative. The next two people arrived at nearly the same time, although they come in separate vehicles, Mr. Cataliades and Alcide.

We all sit at the kitchen table and I see to it that everyone has a drink. Mr. Cataliades begins our session by stating our reason for coming. Then he says that we will start with Kingdom business first.

Mr. Cataliades says, "King Felipe de Castro wishes it to go on record that he is willing to indulge you because you have served him well. The King is willing to make the decree that no vampire may claim you so long as you are in his territory given the following stipulations: First, if for some reason you should need protection you will come back into the fold as the King's human; you will not attempt to cut yourself off from vampires again. Second, should you become seriously hurt or ill before the age of seventy four the King may make you Vampire."

I take a deep breath, "First, I will agree to come back into the supernatural vampire shit if that is necessary for survival. But, I refuse to be the King's human."

Victor Madden speaks, "His humans live very well. You would want for nothing."

I reply, "I would not allow him to make changes to my home, and I am not going to live in Las Vegas. No."

Eric looks at Madden, "Perhaps Sookie could regain her position as mine; she is familiar with how I operate and she would still live in Louisiana. I am a Sheriff of de Castro's Kingdom and he knows that I will keep her safe."

Mr. Cataliades asks me, "Would you agree to that, Sookie? You will become Mr. Nothman's human again if you should find yourself needing vampire protection?"

I think about it for a moment and then say, "Yes, but only if supernatural protection is needed. If it's humans coming for me, it'll be me and my human friends dealing with it." Then I ask, "Why seventy four?"

Victor Madden answers, "Seventy four is the average life expectancy for someone in your state. The King wishes for you to live each one of those years for you might decide at some point to come back. There is always the chance for example that twelve years from now you decide that you would wish to be a part of the community again. But, it does not happen because you succumbed to illness or injury a year prior... The King wishes for you to have all seventy four years to change your mind."

My mouth gapes and I say, "No. I'm doing this so that I can get away from the danger and so that no one will be tempted to change me against my will the next time I get seriously hurt." I can't help but look at Eric when I say this.

Eric responds, "I will not agree to the contract at all unless you concede on this point, Sookie." Then he turns to Madden, "Assuming that the King agrees that Sookie will once again be mine, I will be her Maker."

I throw my hands up, "No! This is what I am getting away from; I hate it when decisions are made for me."

Alcide makes a little head movement that indicates he is in agreement with me, that the vampires are unreasonable, and I go off on him, "You think you're better? Did you forget Colonel Flood's funeral? Or how about the competition to decide who would be the new pack master?" Alcide sobers up and I tell him, "Yeah, you're not so different from the vampires after all."

Madden informs Eric and Mr. Cataliades, "I will need to contact the King on the matter of Ms. Stackhouse regaining her status as the Sheriff's human. I do not, however, have to ask him about turning her should she come near death at an early age; he was most adamant about that when we talked."

"So I'm going to live the rest of my life on egg shells? I just have to pray that I don't pick something up from a patron that comes in sick or that I'm not in an accident?"

Eric states, "Only if the accident or illness is grave."

All eyes are on me. Alcide does not want me to agree to this. Mr. Cataliades does not say that I should or that I should not; he simply waits for a response. Victor Madden and Eric practically bore holes in my head, willing me to accept to the proposed term. Eric says he will not agree to the contract unless I agree to this provision. Evidently the King feels the same. Finally I speak, "I will agree so long as Eric gets to be my... the one to turn me an' all."

Victor Madden places a phone call to the King. After several minutes of talking on speaker-phone, the King agrees with one more stipulation; if Sheriff Northman should meet his final death before I should be at death's door, then the King will be my maker. There is a gasp, I think the others were assuming he'd have someone in his entourage take me as a child; probably Victor Madden.

I respond, "If Eric meets his final death then I will too."

Eric stands and forcefully says, "No! You will do no such thing."

"It's not going to be the King." Then I speak to the cell phone still on speaker, "No offense, your Majesty, but if I ever turn I want a connection to Eric; if it can't be him, then it has to be Pam." I feel something through the bond, but Eric is working so hard at keeping it closed that I can only guess at what was seeping out.

Eric says to the King on speaker phone, "If Sookie should be so close to death as to warrant turning her, Pamela will be much closer and therefore will be able to respond more quickly. Also, Pamela will know to watch Sookie and to forbid her from meeting the sun."

The king says, "Your child, Pam may wish to leave the area in the event of your final death, Sheriff."

Eric tells him, "I will instruct Pam that she must remain in the area until Sookie reaches old age or she turns her."

The King says, "Very well. I will agree. However, should neither you nor your progeny be around I will come for the girl; this is nonnegotiable." The King addresses me directly, "You will agree to these terms or I will not permit Madden to sign and you will remain an active member of my Kingdom."

I take a deep breath. I have to admit that the vampires are at least negotiating with me; they could have simply kidnapped me and forced me to do their bidding or turn me. They don't want to do that to me though, or else they'd have done that by now. I'm lucky that they are willing to negotiate at all. I am resigned, "I accept the new terms."

Mr. Cataliades notes the changes in each version on the contract and signs it. Then I sign the first signature line in all copies of the document, so does Victor Madden as de Castro's representative.

Next the demon lawyer says, "Mr. Northman requests that you receive what humans call alimony. The Sheriff also requests that you have a family within five years; if that has not happened, he intends to take you back."

I sit back and stare at him; I don't even know where to begin. "This isn't a divorce; we're not married according to human custom. I have no right to your money."

Eric shows a trace of his signature smirk, "You're right, this is not a divorce. We may not be married according to your custom, but we are to mine. Marriages in my world end when one dies; such is not the case here. Our marriage will not be so different from any other vampire marriage; we will see each other when it is necessary. You say that you have no right to my money; you are incorrect." He tilts his head, "Vampire marriage is political and financial, Little One. We may be "taking a break" but we are still married and I intend for you to live as comfortably or more so as you have since we came together."

I pull back, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Eric informs me, "It means that I will not allow you to work yourself to exhaustion so that you can pay for upkeep of your home. It means that you will not have to go without something when a repair or upgrade is needed." I scoff, who does he think he is? Eric says, "I had your driveway done because I thought you would appreciate it; and I know you did." I nod; I still do appreciate that very much. He continues, "I know that it would not have gotten done if I hadn't paid for it, you yourself told me that all of your money from your last job as the Kingdom's telepath went toward paying your property taxes." Right now I'm feeling a bit miffed at Eric for mentioning this with others here, but at least he is not speaking to me or looking at me like I am a charity case; he is stating facts. Eric next adds, "If not for the money earned as a telepath and the few gifts that I gave you, you would have sold this farmhouse a long time ago. Because of your association with my kind, you have been able to keep your ancestral home. I wish for my wife to keep her home."

Eric is making this hard; a lot harder than it has to be. I try to blink back the tears that are forming. "No, Eric. That's really sweet of you but I will do this on my own."

He looks over at me and says, "You will not have to ask me for anything, the money is yours; I already have an account set up."

I look at Eric, "I won't touch it."

Eric sets his eyes on mine, "You will if it's needed." I look at him as if to ask "or what?" And he responds to my silent question, "If I learn that my mortal wife is looking to sell any part of her farmhouse, that needed repairs are not being met, that she is overworking to pay bills that she already has the means to pay," he looks at me to see if I'm getting the drift; I indicate that I am. He finishes, "then I will come for you, my wife, and this foolishness will end."

I jump up, "Hey! I might not have had a great life financially before I met y'all, but I was making it. I wouldn't be the first Stackhouse in history to sell some land; I don't see why you would even care. It seems to me that y'all are just looking for ways to get me back as soon as the papers are signed."

Eric responds, "You have not had to penny pinch as of late. You will not go back to that, wife of mine."

He keeps mentioning that I'm his vampire wife, as if I could forget. Part of me wonders if he's saying that others would look down on him if his mortal wife was poor, which I am. Or, maybe he just wants me back. Yeah, I know, he wants me back... I want him too. It's too bad that things are so dang complicated.

I blurt out, "And what about this "family in five years" thing?"

Eric says to me, "You want a normal life. I'm giving you the time to make one for yourself. Our marriage is not recognized by humans; therefore you will be able to marry according to human law. I expect you to find someone and have children with him, within five years."

"You expect...?" My mouth gapes.

"Yes." Eric looks at me, "If I could give you children of my own I would not even think about negotiating with you on this. But I had a family when I was human and I know you want one of your own. If that doesn't happen soon, it isn't likely to happen; in which case you will come back to my side permanently."

I cannot believe him. What nerve! Tears begin to fall and I say to Eric, "You know that I cannot have children; not with a human. So because I can't do that, you're just going to give me five years free from vampire shit... I don't want to have my life go from calm to bloody overnight just because I never got to have kids." While this is true, what hurts more is that I know I'll never have children.

Eric tells me, "Five years; Sookie, you can have children." Then he thinks for a moment, "for the record, should you be turned Vampire after becoming a mother I will forbid you from feeding off of your human family."

Breathe. I take some deep breaths and look at him, "So even if miracles do happen and I somehow end up with a family, you'll still turn me if..."

Madden finishes, "If you are under the life expectancy age of seventy four and are gravely ill or injured."

I look at the two vampires, "You are making this nearly impossible. The only way for me to not get dragged back in is for my life to be quiet, conventional and uneventful in the crazy out there sort of way. I've never really had any of that, how could you think I'd have that now?"

Eric tells me, "Agree or disagree; I recommend you do it soon." I look at him and he says, "I'm growing impulsive." I get the feeling that I don't want to know what his impulse is telling him to do. Would he kidnap me? Would he turn me now?

I cave in and agree. At least I'll have a five year vacation from vampires, right? Eric, Mr. Cataliades and I sign in the proper spaces on each print out of the contract, after the lawyer writes in the changes.

Mr. Cataliades then says, "The Long Tooth Pack of Shreveport agrees to stay away from you and not engage you in any of their dealings given the following conditions: One, if you should find yourself in danger from an outside wolf you will notify the pack master as soon as possible. Two, the pack may come to protect you if they have reason to believe that someone is after you."

Well that isn't so bad. I respond, "They may come to protect me if they have reason to believe that a supernatural someone or something is after me, not humans; I agree to the rest."

Alcide responds, "The Fellowship of the Sun knows who you are and where you live; you are in danger from humans too." I had been able to get the vampires to agree to stay away from the humans, but the wolves are not so agreeable it seems. Alcide watches as I contemplate and then tells me, "This is the deal breaker for us. If you cannot agree to it, then we will not enter into this contract." I feel all eyes on me. Then I decide to get it over with, "Fine." Mr. Cataliades notes the changes and then he, Alcide and I sign each contract on the spaces provided.

While I was reaching for another copy to sign, I caught a look that was exchanged between Alcide and Eric. I bet they set this up so that I'd have some protection from humans from the wolves since I wouldn't have it from the vampires.

When we are done signing the section on the Long Tooth Pack's interaction with me, we look over the contract once more in case there are any questions. Since there are none, we all sign the last page of each copy. Mr. Cataliades announces that the contract is now in effect and that he will have the current one retyped with the changes; we will need to sign each copy once more.

I thank everyone for coming and then say, mostly to the vampires, "I get the feeling that you're just waiting for me to come back. I'll admit that there are some things and people that I'll miss, but I really do want a normal life; as close to normal as I can get."

Madden responds first, "You're perceptive, Ms. Stackhouse. We can be very patient; I have little doubt that we'll see each other again. In the meantime, enjoy your vampire free experience." After that, he nods to me and leaves.

Alcide goes next, "I know you want to distance yourself from supes, but if you need anything or want to talk, call." He leaves next. If I ever do call, it will be a one sided conversation; he can't tell me about pack business as that would be bringing me back in. That is against the contract.

Mr. Cataliades speaks to me and tells me that I am a brave woman to even think to do something like this; and that I'm damn lucky that the vampires haven't simply taken me and turned me. He figures that I'm too important to them to piss me off like that. Plus, I have essentially agreed to be turned; all they have to do is wait for the inevitable. Okay, so he doesn't say it like that exactly, but that's what he's saying. The demon shakes my hand and then leaves.

Last up is Eric. He tells me, "I feel your determination, you want this now. But if you should change your mind you know where I am... Enjoy your normal human life, marry a supe that's a loner (since you cannot read their minds so well) and have children. Have the life that you've been wanting; I will wait for you." Eric kisses me and leaves my sight before I can even open my eyes.

I touch my lips with my fingers; I may never feel those lips on mine again. Why couldn't I have met a human Eric? Why did he have to be born over a thousand years ago and then be turned? We could be happy together and have a family of our own right now, if he was human.

Never will I find anyone like Eric. Even tonight, he was trying to help me; knowing that I was trying to distance myself from him. He is who I will miss the most. Thinking about him hurts, almost to the point that I want to cancel my own contract and go back to him. But if I do that, then I'll be right back where I started without so much as a reprieve from vampire politics and shit. Once again I wish I had been born a thousand years earlier, in his homeland; or that he'd been born not so long ago in mine.

I try to focus on the positive. I have at least five supernatural free years ahead of me baring any serious injury, illness, change in political structure (I'm screwed if de Castro is overthrown), or danger from an outside supernatural force; Or, in the case of the wolves, any threatening force at all. Okay, so I probably won't make it five years given my track record. But I hope to make it for more than half of the time.

I should be happy. I negotiated with vampires and werewolves and I don't have to deal with their shit anymore, for now. As happy as I should be, I am not. Suddenly I feel more alone than I ever have and now I am feeling even more uncertain about tomorrow.