I know it has been far to long since I updated. I'll try my hardest to update a lot sooner for the next chapter. Life has been super crazy. Getting ready for college, my sis getting ready to move, and a bunch of other crap that you don't really need to know about. And it seemed like everytime I sat down to write the words just would come. I actually had almost all of this writen a few weeks ago but when I went to re-read it, it just didn't seem to fit right. So I started from scratch and I really like how it turned out. So please forgive me for taking so long :( I know I get annoyed when people don't update their stories. Anyway, please review and let me know what you think. We're getting into the happy GSR part soon so hang in there! Thanks for sticking with the story!

And many thanks to my friend who beta-read the chapter for me. She was talking to me today and said a few chapters ago when I had Nick and Sara kiss, she almost got sick and this chapter almost made her cry! The next chapter is gonna be for you! :) love ya

Enjoy

Chapter 24 "Far From A Fairytale" Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson

"You can't do what, Sara?"

His words stopped her dead in her tracks. She stood in the doorway; her back to him. She didn't say anything, but she didn't make a move to leave either.

"You can't answer me? Can't forgive me? Can't love me? Tell me." Grissom's voice was soft of full of sadness as he spoke.

Sara closed her eyes; letting the tears escape silently. "I can't do any of it, Gil...Not now. I can't answer you because I'm scared. I want so desperately to forgive you, but everything is screaming at me not too...And I do love you. I love you so much that it hurts."

He watched as she slowly turned to face him. "I can't take this now. There are so many emotions running through me, I need time. Time to figure out where I want my life to go. You-you can't just walk in here and expect me to run into your open arms. To forgive you and drive off in some pumpkin carriage and live happily ever after.

Life is far from a fairytale, Grissom. And even if that's what you want, I can't give it to you. It's not that easy."

"I wasn't asking for a perfect ending, Sara. I apologize if that's what it seems like. I know my timing couldn't have been worse. And I am so sorry for what I have done to you."

Sara smiled sarcastically. "Actually, you're timing may have been perfect."

Grissom looked at her questioningly. "What are you talking about? I ruined Nick's proposal. I ruined your chance at a real life fairytale. How can you say my timing was-"

"You jerk!" Nick spat as he rushed in and pushed Grissom against the wall.

"Nick! Let him go!" Sara yelled, trying to pull him away.

"Stay out of this, Sara." Nick said through gritted teeth. "What the hell is wrong you with you Grissom? You come back here without warning and you ruin everything! Like you didn't hurt her enough when you left and then you come back and just screw things up even more!"

"Nick!"

"I said stay out of this Sara."

"No." Sara said sternly. The tears in her eyes were gone, replaced with burning anger.

Nick turned to look at her, as if suddenly remembering who he was talking too. He quickly released Grissom and looked at Sara apologetically. "Sara, I-I don't know what came over me."

"Don't apologize to me, Nick...Apologize to Grissom." She said, her voice hiding all emotion.

Nick's jaw visibly clenched as he looked at Grissom. "Sorry."

Grissom only shook his head. He turned towards Sara, trying to figure out what she was feeling. She quickly looked away from his gaze, but soon found that it was a mistake because she was met with Nick's pleading eyes. Turning her head away she decided to stare at the floor, at least it didn't stare back at her with questioning eyes.

"So..." Grissom said, looking around the room.

"Do you want to get out of here, Sar'?"

Sara rolled her eyes at Nick's comment, but luckily he didn't see. "Yeah I do."

"Alright, let's go." He said as he moved towards her.

She held her hand out and stopped him. "Alone."

"Yeah...Yeah of course."

"I'll call you later, alright?"

"Sure." Nick said, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice but failing.

"Sara?"

She turned around, raising her eyes to meet his. "What, Griss?" She said softly.

He didn't say a word. But he knew by the look in her eyes she knew exactly what he meant.

Nick sat at the break room table. It'd been hours since Sara had left him standing there with Grissom. He hadn't heard a word from her since. After much debate with Catherine, she finally said she would go and check on her. Now he waited impatiently for her return.

He looked up just as Grissom came walking in. Nick could tell that Grissom hesitated when he saw him sitting there, but never the less, he sat down across from him.

"I wanted to apologize to you, Nick. I know my timing was horrible. I know I showed up without warning. I know that was stupid. I wasn't thinking when I got on the plane to come here."

Nick shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "I should be the one saying sorry. I don't know what came over me earlier. Guess I just got too caught up in my anger."

Grissom smiled softly. "I'd do that to me too, if I were you."

"Things sure have changed, haven't they?"

Grissom didn't say anything for a while. He just sat there. "I'm worried about her, Nick...I'm not expecting her to forgive me or anything like that, but today when I saw her, it just didn't seem like the Sara I knew."

"After you-" Nick stopped, not sure how to say it. "After you left, she kinda lost it. For a while she just worked and worked. Didn't sleep, didn't eat. She was like a ghost, man. Then I uh...We grew close. She perked up more. Actually started being human again, but...the spark, it's just not there anymore."

Just then Catherine came in, a little surprised to see Nick and Grissom, sitting together and talking. Word had traveled around the entire lab by then about their incident earlier.

"Was she there?" Nick asked, before she could even get a word out.

"No." Catherine said. "But this was taped to the front door. One was addressed to me, telling me to give it to you and after you read it, I have one to give to you, Griss." She said, handing Nick a letter.

He quickly opened it and started to read.

'My dearest Nick,

First, I want you to know that you have showed me a world I didn't know existed. You showed me that a flower can grow and bloom in the darkest and coldest winter. It can go from being small and weak, and turn into something so unique and beautiful.

I want you to know that you couldn't have loved me better. You opened up your heart for me. You helped me learn how to love again. I could never thank you enough for that. You took your heart and you handed it to me. All I had to do was take it. And with a simple yes, it could have been mine.

But there is one problem, one that I cannot ignore; no matter how much you want me too. I can't give you my heart. I would like too, but it is no longer mine to give. And if I'm honest with myself, it never even was.

I gave it to a man a long time ago. A man that you most likely hate right now. And although he hurt me in such an unimaginable way, he still holds my heart. And I believe I hold his too. And the fact is - I really do love him. To go through all that I did and come out on the other side with love still burning inside me, I cannot over look that.

Every young girl dreams of her knight in shining armor. Coming in and taking her far away to a wonderful castle. And their love is real, pure and true and they live happily ever after. I truly believed that you were my ever after, Nick. And for a while I began to believe that there could be a happy ending for us. But life isn't a fairytale. It never has been, and sadly, never will be.

I cannot live a lie. I cannot pretend to love you when my thoughts are of another man. I know that this hurts. Trust me, I know. But if I said yes and went through with everything, that would have hurt you so much more. I just couldn't do that. You are my best friend, Nick. I think we both lost sight of that. We got caught up in whatever this was. And I think we both knew, deep down, from the start of this that we were meant to say goodbye. We knew this wouldn't last forever.

I didn't want us to end this way. I honestly thought it would be different. But I can't go on like this. I can't keep letting you think that we're okay. When you gave me the ring, I couldn't help but image how nice our life together could be. But I'm not the woman you should give it too. We are more like brother and sister than anything else. We've always had that unexplainable connection. When a simple look could mean more than a thousand words ever could.

Please, don't blame Grissom for any of this. If he hadn't showed up when he did...Well, it would have been different, but my answer would still be no. This is what I wanted to talk to you about when you found me. I wanted to tell you that we couldn't go on like we were. But I never got the chance to say anything, until it was to late.

What's done is done and I hope that we can remain friends through this. I say this in all honesty and truth, you are my one and only best friend. I know that sounds sappy and maybe a little stupid, but I believe it to be true. You have pulled me out of a spiral of depression, hatred, sorrow and pain. And through all of it you have remained the same. You have been true to yourself, and right now, that's what I need to do.

Nick, you are a wonderful and caring person with a big heart. You are not afraid to show your compassion and love for people. As you well know, the job that we do takes it's toll. We are faced with death and darkness everyday. And somehow, you always come back the next day with a bright smile and open arms. You are one in a million. And I'm so, so very sorry that I'm hurting you this way.

I love you. I always have and always will. I love you so much, that I know I have to let you go. I know you'll want to fix this. You'll think that there is something you can do to get me back. But please, don't try too. I'm gone Nick. You can't make this feel right. We have to move on, we have to get past this, and in order for that to happen I need get away. I know that running is not the answer, but it is the best one I can think of right now.

Please forgive me, Nick. One thing I have learned through this ordeal is that people make mistakes. Mistakes we cannot take back or undo. We are human. We've screwed up before and we will again. But it's life. full of pain and happiness. It's a life we must live.

Sincerely yours,

Sara'

"She's gone." Nick said.

Catherine didn't seem surprised. Nick figured she already knew from the letter Sara had given her. "Here's yours." She said, giving Grissom his.

'Gil,

I'm not sure what to say, so I will say this. When you asked me why I said you might have perfect timing, well, you do. I don't love Nick. I love him like a brother, not anything more. Just before he proposed, I'd decided to tell him that it wasn't right anymore. But before I got the chance to say anything, to stop him, you showed up in the door way.

I'm not sure if I love you. I have too many emotions swirling in my heart right now to tell one from another. So please give me time. I promise I won't leave forever.

Now I understand what made you run. The fear of facing your emotions. It can be overwhelming. So I'm counting on you to understand what I'm going through. My reasoning behind it all.

Sara'

Grissom looked at the letter in his hands. He read it over again. She was gone? He did understand why, but still. He'd come all the way here, and now she was gone.

"What are you still doing here, Griss?" Nick said smiling. "Go after her."

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