So I know it has been forever and a day since I've updated and I feel horrible for it. So please forgive me. Keeping up with school is taking up a lot of my time now. I'm hopeing to get at least 3 more chapters for this story and then wrap it up. I hope you will stick with me til then. Thank you for you patience.

EvidenceOfMe

Reviews are welcome! This chapter was written in about an hour and I was totally shooting from the hip so it's not my best but I thought you deserved a chapter!

Chapter 27 "Tell Me Why" Love Lost by Temper Trap

Grissom sat in his office, deep in thought. The past two weeks had been a whirl wind of emotions. He was still trying to process everything that had happened.

He and Sara were "officially" back together; both as a couple and once again living together. Although things where not back to the way there were, he wasn't complaining.

A knock at the door made him lift his head, "Come in."

Catherine closed the door behind her and sat down in the chair facing his desk. "So, how are things?"

Grissom raised an eyebrow. "You mean with Sara and I?"

"No. I mean with you and your pet tarantula. What else, Gil?" She said, giving him an exasperated look.

"They're slowly getting better. We are still adjusting."

"Well, that's understandable. Considering the hell you put her through."

He grimaced. "I know I deserved that… I put her though something worse than hell."

"Have the two of you sat down and talked anymore?" Catherine asked.

"We have. But I feel like…." Grissom cut off, not knowing how to continue. "She keeps asking me why. I feel like if I don't give her an answer soon, then, she'll leave me."

"Then why not just answer it."

"Catherine, it's not that simple."

"Maybe it is." She said. "Maybe you just need to tell her why."

"I've tried to think of words to express what I did, but nothing works, nothing gives a real reason." Grissom said, letting out a tired sigh.

The two sat in a comfortable silence for a moment. Both lost in thought.

"Tell me why you did it, Gil."

"Catherine, I told you. I don't have-"

"Yes you do!" Catherine said, her voice rising slightly. "You better have a damn good reason. Why do you think Sara still wants an answer? Because you still haven't given her one. She needs closure, Gil. She needs to know why you practically ruined a perfect thing."

"Don't remind me."

"You know what, Griss, you need to suck it up and be man. Don't give me this crap that you can't tell her why you did it. And you know what, I will remind you every day of how you screwed up your life almost beyond repair. I will tell you that every day until I die, because you are one lucky S.O.B. You have a second chance at love, Gil. You have another chance to fall in love with a woman who is crazily in love with you. Sara is so head over heels in love with you that she would overlook the fact that you cheated on her and slept with another woman. Cause you know, I sure as hell wouldn't be so forgiving if I were in her shoes. You would have gotten your ass kicked out the door. But Sara, she's something different. You owe it to her tell her why. Even if you think she won't like your answer, if it's the truth, then she'll still love you in the end."

"When did you become a psychiatrist?" Grissom said, a small grin creeping onto his face.

"When you started being such an asshole."

"Sara?"

She turned around and found Grissom standing in the doorway to the locker room. "Hey, I'll be out in five minutes. I figured we could grab a bite to eat and then head home?"

"Sounds good…But can we talk first?"

"What's wrong?" Sara asked, concern flooding her voice.

"No, no. Nothing bad. Sorry. I uh I just wanted to talk with you about some things."

"That doesn't make me any less concerned, Gil."

He smiled at her. "Sorry."

"Alright, I'll meet you in your office in a minute then?"

"Sure."

"Hey…" Sara said as she stepped into his office.

He didn't say anything, but smiled back at her.

"So uh what's up?"

"I've been…stupid. As you very well know."

"Well, yeah. So why are we talking about this here when we could be on our way home by now?" Sara asked, slightly annoyed that he was being so passive.

"Because, you don't deserve to have to wait any longer." He said, looking her in the eye.

Sara, surprised by his answer, didn't say anything.

"You've asked me countless times why I did it and I've never given you a straight forward, truthful answer. I always said what I thought you wanted to hear. But you saw right through my mask, you knew it wasn't true the moment if fell from my lips. After what I put you through, you don't deserve that. You don't deserve anything of what I put you through. The very least I can do is tell you why I slept with her."

"Gil, you really don't have to do this here. We can-"

"No, Sara. I'm not making you wait any longer. "

"Really. I can wait the whole fifteen minutes it takes to get home."

"Because, I'm afraid that if I wait that long I will lose my nerve. So please, just let me do this."

Sara looked at him. She saw the determination in his eyes. "Okay."

"I slept with her because I needed to know, in some perverse way, if you really were the one for me. I needed to, for once in my life, not be the good guy who follows the rules. I needed to be daring and outrageous. In other words I needed to be stupid. And I regret every choice I made. But in order for me to realize how perfect you are for me, I needed to take a step back, to pull myself away from you. I know that doesn't make sense, honestly I don't even understand it myself. But Sara, before that night, I uh…" Grissom looked away from her for a moment, unable to meet her gaze.

"Gil?" Her voice was soft and tender.

He turned to face her. He stood up and stepped around his desk, kneeling down in front of her, he took her hand. "Sara, I screwed up. I screwed up so badly. It's my biggest fear that we won't be able to overcome this. You're too perfect for me. I don't deserve you. But Sara, before that night I had…I had been planning on proposing to you. And then everything happened. I didn't know what to do. I still loved you. I finally realized what was right in front of me, I realized how wonderful you are. But I was too late. I'd ruined the only good thing in my life."

"I-I don't know what to say." Sara whispered, tears welling up in her eyes.

Grissom looked at the floor, still holding onto her hand. "I don't know what else to say. But I do hope that what I've said will help you heal. I know there will always be a scar from what I did to you and I'm not expecting it to just fade away, but maybe this has helped."

"Does your offer still stand?" She asked quietly.

He raised his head to look at her. "What?"

A smile spread across her face. "Does the offer still stand?"

"You're serious?"

"I am." Sara said, grinning at him with a look of pure happiness.

"Sara, of course it does."

"Then you better ask me."

"You mean here? Right now?"

"I've waited a long time for this, so yeah. Here and now is as good as anything."

Grissom couldn't help but laugh a little. "Well then, let's do this the right way. Would you please stand?"

Sara laughed as Grissom kneeled down on one knee in front of her, the tears of joy now spilling over her cheeks.

"Sara Sidle, I love you more than anything in the world. You are my rock, you are my soul, you are my missing half. Over everything, you are my life. I've made wrong choices and you've been there, through thick and thin. I couldn't think of spending the rest of my life with anyone but you. And so, Sara Sidle, will you marry me?"

"Yes."

Grissom rose to his feet.

"Took you long enough." Sara said laughing.

Grissom smiled. "I know, but that just makes it all the more worthwhile." He said, and kissing her passionately.