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I sort of made it my mission to avoid Blaine as long as possible. I left for Dalton mid-morning to miss him before classes began. I hoped he wouldn't come looking for me during lunch.
No amount of concealer would help cover up the bruises on my face. I would have to face the music sooner or later.
Speaking of music... I dealt with my emotions per usual: through song.
The dorm was devoid of listeners so I took advantage of my roommates' keyboard. I stared at the blank wall and started playing.
I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
My hands stumbled over some of the keys. It was subtle and from lack of practice, but my piano instructor would have had me start over from the beginning.
And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are
I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
And learn to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
My words shook with emotion, but the show must go on.
And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are
Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
A memory I had been trying to forget mocked me. My horrible first kiss. A tear escaped my eyes.
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back
I didn't notice the door open behind me.
And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Another tear slid down my cheek and I suppressed a sob.
And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
My voice drifted off in a whisper. I wrapped my arms around my chest instead of the keys. The simple motion caused my sides to pound dully.
Who do you think you are?
I let a sob break through, effecting the pain in my sides adversely.
"Kurt?" I froze. Classes couldn't be over already! I seriously need to start paying attention to the time. Not having a watch has gotten me no where.
Blaine bent down beside me. I turned my face away before he could see.
"Come on, look at me, please?" His voice was dripping with concern. I bit my lip and took a deep breath. Courage.
I faced him and his breath caught, eyes turning wide. "Oh, Kurt..." He wiped the tears gently off my face, careful to avoid any bruises. I unwrapped my arms and pulled him into an embrace. He let me cry on his shoulder until I pulled away sheepishly.
"Sorry," I swiped at my tears and walked over to my bed so we'd both have a place to sit.
"You don't have to apologize," He settled down next to me. "So this was your 'family problem?'"
I kept my eyes on the floor and wrinkled the bed sheets with my hands. "It was after glee club had gotten out, I had lost track of time." He put his hand on mine, urging me to continue. "I was walking up to my car and Karofsky stopped me. It was nothing worse than before. Just terrifying, didn't even touch me." I sighed. "Then his cronies came out of no where and tossed me around. Karofsky was the one who told them to stop. Actually... I don't think he even laid a hand on me at all. He left by himself and I got Finn to drive me to the hospital." Blaine squeezed my hand. "I'm fine, just a couple broken ribs and a broken nose."
"But, it's more than that." I looked up at him. "Your mind has to heal too." His eyebrows were drawn together. I was more focused on his lips though. I had caught myself doing that quite often.
Before he could elaborate my phone started playing "Don't Stop Believing." A picture of Finn at a baseball game on the screen.
I mumbled his name to Blaine and answered.
"Kurt, feel any better?" He sounded like his thoughts were elsewhere.
"I'm fine. What's so important?"
"Well, it's weird. Me and Puck went looking for Karofsky today-" His miss-use of grammar made me mentally twinge.
"Finn! It's not your problem."
"I got your back, remember? But, anyways, he wasn't there. We asked and he said he was in the hospital."
"What? Why?"
"We don't know, but he got there sometime early this morning. Don't really know anything else..." As much as I disliked Karofsky, I never wished him physical harm. I just wanted the torment to stop, for my horror movie of a life to have a happy ending. Did Karofsky get a beating after stopping Azimio? It couldn't be because of me, could it? He probably just got in a car accident after some big party or something.
The reality was much more chilling than I could have anticipated.
Song is "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri.
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