Artemis was woken abruptly when a bucket of cold water was tipped over his head. The boy on the other end of the bucket was grinning like a hyena on steroids. Jack Barakat. His irritating, Lebanese room mate.

"ARTY ARTY ARTY WAKE UP!" He yelled.

Artemis stared bleary eyed at him. It was 9am. He deserved another hour in bed after last night's little jaunt.

"Why should I wake up? It's a Saturday and I wish to have some more sleep." He replied.

"Because Alex G is up and Vivi is round and I'M GONNA FUCK THIS BURRITO!"

"Vivi?" asked Artemis.

"Yeah, Vivi. Alex's new girlfriend. She's rather nice." Jack shot a sideways wink at him.

Artemis slid out of bed. Not minding that his hair was wet and he wasn't wearing much. He reached for his Armarni suit and a blue tie. He only felt comfortable when he was in evening wear. Collecting his books and slinging his jacket on, he opened the door into the living room.

"Hey, I'm Vivika." She smiled at Artemis, "Who are you?" She smiled again. Maybe she had facial Neuromuscular Disorder?

"I'm Artemis. Now would you please stop smiling at me, and let me out the door. I need to return my library books."

"Okay then. I was only trying to make you feel welcome here. Alex said you were a social and cultural misfit." She frowned.

"He has no idea." And with that, he walked out the door and down the stairs, his jacket swishing behind him.

Giving his books to the librarian, he turned on his heels and slid out into the gardens. They were much neater than the gardens at Fowl Manor. His Mother had allowed them to overgrow, they were wild. Beckett had once got tangled in the brambles there and Butler had to slice him out; not a pleasant sight. In the gardens here, he didn't safe. All the hedges were too neatly manicured, all the flowers were an even shade and there were no leaves on the floor. It was always eerily quite, like there was another person watching your every move, listening in on your thoughts, recording your words. He would ask Foaly to check that out later, he would probably find it amusing to tease him over this, tell him that his paranoia was coming back. What Foaly didn't know was that the paranoia had never left in the first place. It was buried, deep at the back of his mind amongst his darkest thoughts. He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. He didn't like it here. Squeezing through a gap in the hedge, he took a short cut back to his room, where it was safe.

Jack, Alex and Vivi had left by the time he got back. There was a note stuck to the mini fridge telling him that they probably wouldn't be back until tomorrow. They were making a trip to Vivi's house to meet her family and friends from school.

"Good riddance." He said aloud.

He didn't care much for Jack and Alex's band: All Time Low. It wasn't in anyway calming and it had no sense of lyric or notation. He preferred his own music, flowing and delicate on the piano or heartfelt and lonely on the guitar.

He opened the fridge and opened a bottle of cold, fizzy water. His favourite, it reminded him of long summer days in Ireland, surrounded by the whirring of his computers and eating Turkish delight with Oliver, his only friend back home. He couldn't wait to see them all in a week, The twins, Oliver, Mother, Father, Butler and maybe Holly, if she would respond to his calls. She was probably still upset about Artemis visiting the girls. She was too sensitive for her own good. Quickly downing his water, he set off into the woods to meet Darcie, Jemima and Electra.

They were waiting for him when he got to Shakespeare.

"Hey!" Cried Darcie, "We thought you wouldn't show up tonight"

"We had a bet on," explained Jemima, "Electra just lost £30"

"Wow? Betting that much that I wouldn't come? Artemis Fowl always keeps his word."

"That's good to know. I'll bear that in mind next time these two challenge me to a bet." Scowled Electra.

They opened up a bottle of orange juice that Jemima had brought. She explained that it was the only thing they could get out their dorm without arousing suspicion. Artemis took a sip but quickly spat it out. This wasn't orange juice. It was squash. Sticky, gloopy, squash that the twins liked to drink undiluted. He sat up and looked at his watch. It was almost 5pm. He had an hour left.

They talked some more and all (except Artemis) drank the squash. At 5pm Artemis stood up. He had to go, he was late and couldn't risk being caught by the Teachers or the Prefects. He quickly hugged the girls goodbye and ran as fast as he could, dodging trees along the way. He ran up the staircase, turned left at the maths corridor, took a short cut through the library and fell head first into the knees of Mr. Brinkley, the Biology teacher. He picked him up by his collar and glared at him. Artemis gulped, and as he was marched silently to the heads office, he tried to form a clever excuse to get out of this situation. What he needed now was a miracle.