Thanks to everyone for their continued love, reads and reviews for this fic, I really do appreciate it all. Hope you enjoy this ch. too *loves everybody*
Hunter always felt safe when he was cocooned in the metal shell of his Jeep and today was no different. There was something he needed to do and nowhere else seemed like quite the right place to do it.
Emptying out the contents of the dreaded envelope onto the passenger seat he plucked out the piece of card that bore Paul's number. Grabbing his cellphone from his pocket he carefully dialled the number into it and his finger hovered over the call button. Even now, having believed he'd made the decision to do it, he didn't know whether or not to actually make the call. For every shred of him that claimed to love Shawn unconditionally there was an opposite and equal number that felt betrayed and wouldn't permit the love to permeate them until this was all sorted out.
Knowing that he would never have peace of mind until the issue was resolved he seized the moment, hit call and held the phone to his ear waiting for the ringing tone and ultimately the voice to appear on the other end. It rang for almost a minute before there was an answer and at first he thought it had gone to voicemail. No such luck.
"Hello?"
"Paul, its Hunter."
"Hey Hunter. So you finally decided to call huh? I knew you would eventually."
The smug tone did not sit well with Hunter and although he wanted the maximum amount of information from Paul he knew he had to set his stall out early. He hadn't called to have salt rubbed into his wounds.
"Lets get one thing straight here Paul, I don't give a fuck about anything except Shawn, these goddamned photos and why the fuck you hurt him like you did. Anything else, I'm not interested in, especially your pathetic gloating. Do I make myself clear?"
Paul sensed that he was not going to get his moment of glory from Hunter over this, he'd clearly not called to say thanks for letting him know and from the sounds of it intended to fight Shawn's corner. In the back of his mind he almost felt some kind of sympathy for the other man. He'd tried and failed to fight for Chris so if anyone should be understanding of the situation it was him. The main thing dissolving his sympathy was Hunter's attitude and that clearly wasn't going to change anytime soon.
"Okay, okay. Look, we need to get this sorted out and then we can both move on with our lives. Hunter, I know I didn't necessarily do the right thing bringing them to you in the hospital but I meant what I said. I didn't want you wasting your time on someone that thinks so little of you that they're playing around behind your back."
The words felt as if they were slapping Hunter in the face. He'd tried not to look at the pictures too much in the last few days; tried not to think about what they meant or how they could be interpreted. Talking to Paul was making avoiding that so much harder.
"First off, where did you get these from? Did you hire someone to follow them?"
"They were just sent to me at home. I got them from a courier and the note inside just said that they were from a concerned friend. Hell, I know a lot of people in the business couldn't believe that someone like Chris could be interested in someone like me and they warned me off a few times. Turns out they were right. So, does Shawn know that you've seen them? I heard he woke up. I'm glad he's...okay, y'know."
"No, I haven't spoken to Shawn about them yet. It didn't really seem appropriate while he's wired up to machines and barely able to hold a conversation that includes his own name. And I'm warning you now, don't even think about telling him yourself or I'll gladly put you where he's laid today, understand? Whether or not these photos mean anything I still want him to get well and as quick as he can. So what the hell did Jericho have to say when you asked him about them?"
A period of silence grew awkward between them and no answer came from Paul.
"Well, Hunter, I..."
Paul tried to hide the hesitation in his voice but failed miserably.
"You haven't fucking asked him have you? Instead you nearly kill Shawn and then dump this shit on me. I can't believe this!"
"Hunter, its not that simple. If you can't ask Shawn how can I ask Chris?"
"Because, Paul, your partner hasn't been laid up dependent on fucking life support has he? HAS HE?"
Hunter was quickly losing patience with the pathetic sounding man on the other end of the phone. Rubbing at the tension building in his neck he wished he'd not made the call and just dumped the photographs, forgetting that they'd ever existed. The last of his words had growled angrily from his lips and again, there was no response from Paul.
"I'll assume that's a no then Paul shall I? I'll tell you what, you go and ask your precious Chrissy just what the fuck he was playing at, come back and tell me what kind of piss poor excuse he comes up with and maybe then we'll talk. When you can man up and sort your shit out then maybe, just maybe, I'll go ask Shawn."
"Hunter, you don't know how hard this is. Truth is, things haven't been great between us for a while and those photos just, well, they just proved that I was right to be worried. For months I've been wondering where he's been going, what he's been doing when he's sneaked out at all hours of the day when we've been at home and on the road. Every time I asked him all I got was cryptic answers which were nothing but lies. I know where he's been. He's been with Shawn. You know it and I know it. "
Paul felt a sadness sweep over him. During those turbulent months he had waited patiently at home or in the hotel for Chris to return. He always came home but sometimes it was pretty late or in the early hours. Sometimes he'd smell of alcohol but there was never any trace of anyone else. No texts or calls as he'd taken to secretly checking Chris' cellphone after he went to sleep. He'd turned a blind eye to whatever it was that Chris was up to and tried to carry on as normal until the arrival of the photos.
"So you know about the photos, you think he's been foolin' around and you still haven't asked him about it all? Like I said, you decided it'd be easier to hurt Shawn to get back at Chris instead. That's sicker than when you came to the hospital. You need help man, serious help."
"Look Hunter, don't pretend that you wouldn't have done the same to Angle back then if you hadn't been so damned wrapped up in getting your claws into Shawn. The only reason you didn't beat him down is because he gave you an opportunity, a get out clause. Truth hurts, huh? And while we're at it, I bet you're dying to beat Shawn down for what...."
That was the final straw. Hunter snapped his phone shut, ending the call before he either got further embroiled into the argument or let another one of the barbed comments sting like that last one had. Sure, he'd been glad of a way to get rid of Steph that didn't cost him his career or paint him as the bad guy but he would never have laid a finger on her, the same way he wouldn't with Shawn. For all his touted aggression he'd never once hit someone he claimed to love and had no intentions of starting now, especially not on the advice of someone like Paul who, Hunter thought, was growing more unhinged every day.
As he thought about what Paul had to say he wondered whether or not he was truly wasting his time playing the dutiful partner at the bedside. Shawn had been the darling of the locker room for as long as Hunter had known him and it was widely recognised that most of them had tried their luck with him over time. Hunter had played a different game, waiting in the shadows until Shawn realised how he felt and in time, how they felt for each other. It had been so natural and unforced that it was surely meant to be, or so he'd thought. Now as he looked at the damning images for the umpteenth time Hunter felt himself welling up, wondering just how it had all come to that. His lover in the arms of someone like Chris Jericho of all people.
After a few minutes spent wiping at his eyes and gathering everything back into the envelope Hunter stashed the package under his seat in the car and decided to head back into the hospital. Shawn had been awake for a few days but had been sedated to a degree throughout. Their conversations had been short, mainly relating to what day it was, minimal ventures into what had happened and lots of carefully worded talk about the nature and severity of his injuries. Although feeling had started to return in one of his legs there was no significant improvement in the other which was of concern to both of them and Dr Lee as well.
Climbing slowly out of the car he walked towards the entrance of the hospital and stopped to buy a bunch of flowers from the shop near the elevators. The small room Shawn had been moved to was quiet but very plain and he thought that they might cheer the space up a little. As he walked into the elevator alone he cursed himself for still caring so much about Shawn when from what Paul had told him about Chris' recent behaviour it was looking more and more likely that the photographs represented his worst nightmare. Try as he might though there did not appear to be any respite from his love for Shawn which drove him to come and spend every day at the hospital.
The nurses with whom he'd become so friendly and familiar chatted with him briefly, giving their usual mixture of progress updates about the night Shawn had had coupled with their genuine enquiries as to how Hunter himself was bearing up. They'd looked after both of them throughout, offering tea and sympathy during the extended hours he'd spent sat alone patiently and still caring now, his devotion to Shawn both clear and impressive to them all. He left the flowers with them to be put into a vase and turned the corner towards Shawn's room. For a moment he paused, partly to sort out his tangled hair but mainly to steel himself for the conversation he feared they would end up having if Shawn looked up to it.
As he walked through the door Shawn was laid in his usual position surrounded by a barrage of pillows that bolstered him in and reduced the strain on his back. A broad smile broke across his face as Hunter walked in as it always did and he raised his hand to wave, a gruff but friendly "Hey there!" echoing in the room. Taking his usual position in the chair at bedside Hunter took the waving hand in his own and kissed the slender fingers, brushing them against his face to feel them against his skin. He did that every day, the ritual somehow becoming his way of saying hello and helping to keep a lid on his emotions by silencing them with the feeling of love the gesture brought.
"So, how you bearing up Shawnie? They tell me you had a good night?"
"Yeah, it was one of the better ones. Still can't feel that leg properly yet though. It's bothering me Hunt. What if it never comes back huh?"
Hunter could see the fear in the watery blue eyes as they peered at him through the bright sunlight that filled the room. For all his angelic looking qualities Shawn had the appearance of a broken man. Hunter knew that his job was to offer the platitudes and reassurance needed even though he may not believe it himself.
"Shawn, its early days. Dr Lee says you're doing great and he knows his stuff. He's a good guy and used to dealing with this sort of injury. The best thing is what you're doing. Resting up and concentrating on getting better. Besides which, you have to get better. You can't kick my ass with only one good leg."
Their laughter broke the silence of the room and the tension of the moment. The look they exchanged proved that they both knew that it wasn't going to be that simple. The road to recovery was looking like being one fraught with trials and tribulations that neither knew if they were strong enough to cope with but for vastly different reasons.
"Hunter, can I ask you something?"
Shawn's tone was low and serious in stark contrast to their momentary lighter mood.
"Y-yeah, course you can sexy boy. What is it?"
"I just wanted to know if you'd spoken to Paul about why he did this to me. I mean, at first I thought it was an accident but the more I remember about that night I don't know that it was. He said some stuff to me when I got in the ring but I can't remember any of it Hunt. Its playin' on my mind that I must've done something to upset him. I've been friends with that big goof for years and then this? Gees, I don't know what to think...."
Hunter's mind raced with what answer to give. Inside he was fighting the urge to use this as his chance to bring everything up and get the truth. His main problem was that it would mean coming clean about the photos and he wasn't sure he was ready for that himself. Actually asking the question would make it so much more real than he wanted it to become. For now it was happening to someone else. He'd been able to concentrate his efforts on being there for Shawn and to change that just seemed like the thing he wanted to do least in the world.
"Well, er, we don't know yet Shawn. He's clearly got some kind of problem but with the show having moved on I haven't had a chance to see him. I know Vince has been giving him all kinds of hell but he still thinks it was just an accident. Maybe I was. I don't know Shawn. I really don't."
The ramble of lies had tripped off his tongue far more easily than he would've liked. The truth had retreated and made its way to the back of his mind where it had been lurking since that first night at the hospital. Hunter knew that he had to get out of there before he faced any more awkward questions that he didn't want to answer with anything but the truth.
"Well, I suppose he had his reasons either way. The Lord works in mysterious ways so I'm told."
Shawn's words hung heavy in the room and he smiled sadly, closing his eyes as the silvery trails of tears running down his cheeks appeared on the soft skin.
Instinctively Hunter reached to wipe away the moisture and stroked his lover's face gently to try and soothe the emotional pain he was clearly in, knowing then there was nothing he could do but make things worse if he insisted on seeking the truth. In the moments of silence he contemplated what his next move should be and drew a blank.
Before long the rise and fall of Shawn's chest slowed and the barely audible snores were the only sounds other than the background noises from outside in the ward itself. Hunter stood and leant over the bed, planting a gentle kiss on one of the cheeks that still bore the dried streaks of the silent tears. His own sadness was starting to overwhelm him and getting out of the room suddenly seemed like the most important thing in the world. He left the room without disturbing the peaceful slumber that had consumed Shawn and stopped at the nurse station letting them know he was sleeping and to leave the flowers until he woke up.
The all too familiar elevator ride soon delivered Hunter to the main entrance and he called to pick up a coffee on the way out, needing something familiar and comforting to take the edge off what he was feeling. Arriving back at the car he got in and tuned the radio to the local station where the country and western music that Shawn loved so much was the order of the day every day. He listened to the woeful tales of absent wives, broken hearts and eternally promised true love until the coffee went cold in his hands. Depositing it in the cup holder he reached for the envelope that burned underneath his seat like fire. He withdrew the photographs within and lined them up neatly together in a pile.
With one movement they were torn clean in two down the middle, Shawn on one side of the torn images and Jericho on the other. Hunter had reached the point where the pictures couldn't tell him anything more than he already knew or needed to know. His next port of call needed to be a step closer to the truth but nothing that would distress Shawn any more. As he turned the key and kicked the engine over the last bars of the latest done-me-wrong-song played out. It was then that he knew what he had to do.
A/N: Sorry its taken me so long to update this but I'm determined that I've got to be happy with every chapter as I really do care about how this reads and works out. It's all because Shawter = love! All reads and reviews truly appreciated as always.