The silence in the room was the most deafening noise any of them had ever heard. It was only broken by an alarmed looking nurse appearing at the door to ask if everything was ok. Paul nodded and muttered an assurance about how everything was fine. She sternly reminded them all that they were in a hospital and not a wild west saloon bar and then left, Paul then stepping inside the room and closing the door behind him.

Hunter found himself still staring fixatedly at Shawn who's face bore a look of confusion that could by rights illustrate the dictionary definition. It gave him some hope that this was all a mistake, that there had been nothing going on and that Shawn would heal, come home and life could just go back to normal. It had been so long since anything seemed routine and mundane that he'd begun to crave their previous daily grind. Life had been so much easier back then but the return to that seemed so far away.

"What's up Hunter? It all adds up doesn't it? The gifts, the pictures, the time we spent together behind your back... its over Hunter, you're old news. Its all about me and Sh-"

"Whoa. Just wait a minute there Chris. You asked me not to tell Hunter about you joining the church and I respected that."

Shawn's tone was serious and low. There was no jovial tone, the hurt of an abused trust present in his voice.

"Some things you just don't keep from your partner for no good reason Shawn. We don't have to run around behind anyone's back anymore, it's out in the open now. Just tell Hunter its over, that this is what you've wanted for months and then we can move on together and be happy."

"Chris, we're just friends. You found God with my help and all this 'me and you' stuff is BS and you know it. What exactly are you trying to achieve here?"

On seeing Chris step forward towards the bed Hunter positioned himself between the two, unable to understand his urges to carry on protecting Shawn in light of what he was hearing. If it was a lie he needed to keep Chris away but if it was true he didn't want to see it clearly with his own two eyes.

"Hunter, let him up here. I've got nothing to hide."

Chris rounded Hunter and perched in the chair at the side of the bed that he'd occupied earlier. He reached out a hand to grasp Shawn's but the angry looking Texan pulled his hand away before it could happen. Instead Chris picked up the top photo of the pile and thumbed the edge of it gently, a doe-eyed look of emotion on his face.

"Look at us Shawn, we're so perfect together. Anyone can see that."

"Yeah, about these damn photos... which one of you paid some creep to follow me? Which one of you was desperate enough to stalk me to even get these?"

Shawn brandished the remainder of the photos in his hand and gestured towards each of the men in turn, wincing as he moved his back too sharply with the level of ire coursing through him.

"It wasn't me. Paul gave them to me the night you got hurt. I'd never seem them before that night. You're better off asking husky here."

Hunter had held his hands up in a defensive motion, nodding his head towards Paul as he spoke. He had no intentions of taking the blame for their production, it struck him that he was in enough trouble as it was for concealing them for weeks.

"I only got them couriered to me. I had nothing to do with arranging them. I don't even know who sent them to me if I'm honest, they just turned up at my door."

With that all three of them looked at Chris, his eyes still gazing at the photo until he must've felt the weight of their collective stare on his shoulders.

"C'mon, you really believe that I..."

Shawn interrupted Chris, having already picked up the next picture on the pile, the one of himself and Chris eating lunch at a restaurant.

"The Garden, right?"

Chris nodded his answer.

"That place miles from anywhere, great food, great view?"

"Sure is Shawn, one of the best restaurants around."

"The place your driver or whatever the hell type of man-servant he is took us to that day. It's the one we went to when we were booked for that gig in Georgia isn't it? The one that Hunter and Paul couldn't be at because they were working on the video game thing. The lunch that nobody else knew we went for apart from me and you."

All eyes in the room again turned pointedly to Chris who looked uncomfortable and opened his mouth to speak but didn't get the chance to.

"Chris, no-one apart from you and your hired help knew I was even in that car with you. It was a place nobody could've reasonably followed us to unless you told them where we were headed. And even if they had they'd be following us to sell it on and we'd have at least made a local rag or somethin'. But hey, maybe you didn't have to tell anyone. Maybe they were already there just waiting for us to turn up."

Shawn's voice was barking out of him, the volume increasing with every accusation he had to make. Once silent he shook his head and looked towards the window where the sun still shone. His expression was blank and disinterested as if calmly waiting for something to happen or someone to come through it.

"It's not like that. Look, I just wanted to show everyone how good we are together, how great we look as a couple. It's meant to be Shawn, you know that and I know it too. We're unstoppable together. These two needed to know that most of all. If they leave us alone then we can be truly happy."

Chris appeared to have realised that there was no way out of the situation or the room without some kind of reasons coming to the fore. Paul found himself shell-shocked in the corner of the room, leaning on the wall while his heart pounded loudly in his ears. For the first time in months he heard the honesty coming from Chris' heart via his loud and generally unforgiving mouth. The words stung as they sounded like the honeyed compliments and declarations of love he'd once received from the same man.

"What the hell... Chris, you're not stupid. I'm with Hunter, always have been and always will... be."

The small pause before the last word made it feel like a giant golf ball had jammed itself down Hunter's throat. He stared at the floor and found a fascinating section of stitching on his shoe to stare at, his entire body racked with guilt and frustration to the point of pain. How could he ever have believed that Shawn would cheat on him? Even in the face of all the 'evidence' he should've been stronger, more resolute. The love in Shawn's words had been almost too much to hear; the instant reaction to point out that he wasn't available, defending what they had and who they were as a unit. Had, thought Hunter, may be the best word for it, the pause making him hugely unsure that they were both still thinking of themselves as an 'us'.

"Shawn, you said we'd be together..."

"Yeah, but not like this. Not romantically Chris. At church, in heaven, when you're down and you need a friend. You're a fool if you ever thought I loved you as more than a brother in Christ, which I'd like to state that I. Do. Not. Even if... even if you did think that then maybe you should've come up with a better way to tell me than setting me up like this.

"All the times we talked, hours and hours talking about you and Paul, how you wanted to make a go of things. About your wife and how you still loved her but not enough... how you missed your kids. All damn lies to do what? To make me feel sorry for you? Make me love you? Shit, Chris. Just how stupid do you think I am? Which part of you thought that this crazy setup would work, huh?"

"Shawn... please..."

Chris extended his hand out to try and take Shawn's again but to no avail. The hand was already planted palm down into the air mattress, Shawn using all his strength to try and sit up straighter in bed.

Hunter moved forward and started to go around the bottom of the bed to help, his heart shattering as he watched the wasted arms tremble under the weight of the slight body. His fears about their relationship were assuaged and he found himself compelled to do anything he could to move on, his silent vows repeated like a mantra, heartfelt promises to get Shawn home and get him better.

"Don't bother Hunter. I'm no more an invalid than I am an adulterer. All three of you need to get the hell out of here and leave me alone."

The harsh words stopped him in his tracks, stranded at the far corner of the foot of the bed. Panic started to rise within him, the worst of all the situations he'd imagined had started to pan out. The accusation had been made, roundly rebutted and Shawn's very foundations shaken by the level of Hunter's doubt in their love, their connection. It was all unravelling and Hunter felt totally powerless to stop it, the boulder gathering speed as it raced down the hill after his own fingerpoke of doom had started the descent.

"Chris, me and you isn't and was never going to happen. You're downright deluded if you think that this stunt is going to make me fall into your arms, whether or not me and Hunter come out of the other side of this intact. All of this is your fault and I hope you get on your damn knees and use some of what you've learned for good rather than bad. Thanks to you I may never have that privilege again

"Paul. Now you, Lord forgive me I can't stand the sight of you right now, but if this is the kind of shit he's been pulling on me then I can only imagine how rough you've had it. I don't feel that angry anymore. Seems we got played as bad as each other. Who knows, in time I might find it in me to forgive you for all this. In the meantime I'd appreciate it if you could start making amends by leaving me be and taking Chris here with you. I don't want any arguments and I sure as hell can't deal with any more hassle so I'm warning you now, either of you causes a scene and I'll be on the phone to Vince and the cops before security here have you out the door. No calling me, the hospital; nothing. Just get out of my life before either of you do me any more harm."

Chris stood from the chair and leaned over the bed, Shawn doing his best to shuffle himself as far away as the metal sides and his pained movements would allow.

"Its ok Shawn. I love you... I'll wait till you're ready."

Paul had finally had and heard enough, stomping across the room and grabbing Chris by the arm, attempting to pull him away. The smaller man writhed, struggled and cursed but soon Paul had wrapped his large hands around Chris' wrists and started to drag him across the room. With one look back over his shoulder Chris could see Shawn with the hospital buzzer in his hand, raised to his shoulder height and clearly with every intention of pressing it if he had to.

Feeling the straining body finally relax in his grip Paul mumbled a warning to Chris that nobody except Chris could hear. With a nod of acknowledgement both men slowly left the room, the door clicking shut behind them.

Hunter began his walk back around the bed, putting his arm on the back of the chair for a second before going to sit down in it.

"I wouldn't bother if I were you."

Stopping his motion halfway Hunter raised himself back to a standing position, the pain in his knees niggling at him from all the standing still but prepared to assent to Shawn's wishes despite the worrying words he'd just spoken.

"Right now, and I hate saying this, I don't want you here either. Hunter, you've lied to me every day for weeks. Every single day you've been sat there talking to me as if nothing happened, nothing had changed yet everything was so screwed up and you couldn't talk to me about it. You've told me how you're gonna care for me but then when I wanted to come home it was like I asked you to go jump in a lake. You've told me you've loved me and then kissed me like you kiss your Grandma. Don't think I haven't noticed something was going on but I never thought... Why couldn't you just put your cards on the table and ask me like a man?"

In truth the answer was obvious but too complicated and painful for Hunter to explain. If he said that he didn't want to ask in case it was true then it belied the fact that he thought Shawn was capable of playing around behind his back. If he said he was too scared to ask then it made him look pathetic as a man and still routed back to the same reason as before; not believing in Shawn. There was no right answer, just a world of convoluted and complicated reasons that meant he either lacked faith in their relationship or the balls to brass it out.

"It wasn't like that. You were sick, you didn't need me asking awkward questions when you were barely able to talk days after having a ventilator down your throat. I didn't ask because you were so ill. I was worried about you. I was waiting till you were better."

"Better? Why? So you could make me feel like shit again by wanting to go back to my own damn home? So the shock of being called a cheater didn't finish off what Paul started?"

The exasperation in Shawn's words cut into Hunter but as he went through it all in his mind he couldn't think of a time he would've been likely to ask before today. He didn't know if admitting he couldn't cope with the potential truth was something that he should do. Deep down he knew that he'd had the duty to be the strong one. He felt he'd made a good job of that part up till now, it was the sensitive and loving side of him that had suffered because of it though.

"I didn't want you to get stressed out and get even more sick. I did it for us."

"Save it because right now, there's barely an 'us' to do anything for. You didn't do it for anyone but yourself Hunter, you're starting to sound like Chris and frankly I'm tired of hearing bullshit today," Shawn took a deep breath and spoke slowly "None of this mattered as long as I had you behind me, beside me, whatever. I fought the pain, the fear that I'd never walk again, let alone wrestle and all because of you. I thought someone had my back no matter what. Guess I was wrong. We promised each other a long time ago Hunter, no more lies. We had that between us for too damn long and I'm not going back to living like that. I just can't."

"It wasn't a lie. I do love you and I am here for you... I've been here every day, just like you said yourself."

"And you feel better saying that now I've sent Chris packing I'll bet."

To Hunter the battle was starting to seem as if it was one he could never hope to win. Every word he said was wrong and appeared to be pushing them further apart rather than bringing them back together. He cursed every day he'd shown the cowardice that prevented him from dealing with the awkward topic that had just about smashed his heart to smithereens. In his mind he wanted to believe it was the shock and the hurt talking but faith was Shawn's yardstick by which he measured all things, be that faith in God or faithfulness as a way of life.

"I just need some time to think things over. Hunt, gimme a couple of days, a little space. Look, let me get my head right,and I'll give you a call."

"Just let me stay, explain to you, please Shawn?"

"If you're thinking of begging you picked the wrong guy at the wrong time," Shawn paused for a second before a wry smile crossed his lips. "Story of my life."

Shaking his head Hunter tried to indicate that he didn't think it was the way Shawn's life had been, at least not as long as they'd been an item. He chose not to argue with the wishes that had been expressed so clearly. Slowly he shuffled forward, leaning over the metal side panel of the bed only to feel a hand rest on his shoulder and hold him away.

"Not right now. Don't make this harder on either of us than it already is."

The rejection sent a wave of nausea sweeping over Hunter's body, his stomach twisting with the feel of the familiar touch on his shoulder that had turned to an unpleasant pressure weighted with so much more than Shawn simply not wanting a kiss goodbye. He stood back up straight and backed towards the door, watching for any signal that it was all going to be ok, that Shawn did still love him despite turning him away. Nothing. He knew Shawn was genuinely hurting and that the way forward wasn't going to be as simple as he'd first hoped.

Before he could reach the handle of the door a knock came and in strolled Dr Lee, charts in one hand and a fistful of papers in the other.

"Shawn, Hunter. Nice to see you both. Now I've got the full test results if you'd like to hear them."

"Take a seat doctor, Hunter's gotta dash off somewhere but I'm all ears."

Dr Lee nodded and made his way over to the chair, using the bedside cabinet to pile his various papers on, ignoring or not feeling the uncomfortable atmosphere in the room.

Shawn's tone had been jovial enough but he didn't look up, concentrating more on ramming the photos and bracelet into the envelope and dropping them into the top drawer of the cabinet. Hunter was wise enough to take the hint aimed at him and leave. Inside he wanted nothing more than to hear the results, to know what the true damage was and how the recovery was going. In truth he knew that his doubts had cost him the rights to access that information and that he'd only be told what Shawn wanted to tell him.

The enthusiasm and vigour with which he'd started the day had been well and truly expunged from him and he made his way back through the hospital in as slow and sluggish a manner as ever he had done. There was no sign of Chris or Paul for which he was grateful, another confrontation almost at the top of the list of things he knew he wouldn't be able to deal with.

He called into the cafe and grabbed a sludge like coffee which had become a staple of his diet. It was loaded with sugar and cream to make it palatable and taken to the Jeep where the cup holder was clear for a change. Slumping into the drivers seat the only sensation he had was numbness. The pain of losing Shawn had been something he thought he'd touched on when facing up to the fact that he might be readying himself to shack up with Chris. It wasn't until the reality of the situation had revealed itself to be a thousand times harder that his heart had realised it couldn't deal with it and promptly shut down.

He flicked the radio on to kill the quiet and some dreary ballad droned away. With no prompting a tear pooled and fell down his cheek, splashing on his arm as it curled around his chest, seeking some comfort however it came. The irony of all the hours spent crying in that same spot over a question he daren't ask and being back there again when he had asked it should've been funnier than it felt.

Hunter knew that metres away Shawn was most likely getting life changing news about his injuries. He also knew his place should be at that same bedside, holding a hand and offering comfort or congratulations as appropriate. Dr Lee had seemed cheerful enough but in truth that gave little away. It might be days before he found out anything more and he chuckled sarcastically, adding the wait to his list of things to 'thank' Chris for.

Eventually he started the car and rolled out onto the road, his eyes clouded by tears and his head swimming in the ones yet to form. The drive was nothing more than miles of empty road before him. A road that didn't lead home any more, just to a house somewhere that he happened to have the keys for.

A/N: *wipes brow* This is hard going at times! Nearly done now, thanks to everyone still reading this, hope you're still enjoying it!