*I have never been so happy to see snow! Mexico is not for me! Thanks for being so patient... I hope this chapter makes it worth the wait!

Chapter Thirty Nine

Sid stood outside of the hospital room and stared in through the small window. Amber laid on the bed, asleep – or unconscious - he wasn't sure which but he barely recognized her. Whoever attacked her had done quite a number on her face – the bruising and swelling was unlike anything he had ever seen. She had a broken cheek bone and fractured jaw. She also had a broken arm and collarbone. The doctor hadn't been to talk to him yet but Nathalie had talked to the nurse to get some details. She came in unconscious and hadn't woken up yet. The police officers that had come with her, had shown him the note that was attached to her. "You hurt our team… we hurt yours…" This was supposed to be some sick fuck's idea of vengeance. The cops said they had no idea who had done it but that they were reviewing the security tapes from the parking lot.

Sid moved out of the way as another nurse came out of the room, closing the door gently behind her. "You can go in, if you'd like…" She stated quietly. Sid just stood there and shook his head.

He couldn't go in there. He couldn't bring himself to cross through the doorway. When Sid had gotten to the hospital, Nathalie had been in the room with Amber and had waived for him to come in but he had just stood there – in shock. Nathalie had come out to comfort him with a big hug and then held the door open for him but he still just shook his head and stood in spot.

"Sid… she needs you…" Nathalie had said softly.

"No. She is in there because of me. I am the last thing she needs," Sid had responded and then tuned out Nathalie's protests as he felt the emotions build within him. He had been on the verge of tears since Mario and Dan had called him into the office to tell him after the second period. It had taken a minute or two for him to compute what they had said to him. Mario had said there was a car waiting for him at the exit and Sid almost started walking towards it in his skates. Dan had to shake him to get him to zone back in and go get changed. When Sid had walked into the dressing room and started stripping down everyone just stared at him. Tony must have filled the guys in while Dan and Mario had told him because nobody asked any questions, nobody said anything. They just continued to stare – he had felt their eyes on him. One pair in particular. Max was fuming.

He had every right to be pissed. After all they had been through; he knew what Max was thinking. Sid had failed at protecting her, at taking care of her and being there for her.

Sid glanced back through the window and wiped a tear from his cheek.

"Mr. Crosby?"

Sid turned toward the man in the white coat, holding a clipboard.

"I'm Dr. Neals," he introduced himself to Sid and Nathalie, extending his hand. "Would you like to have a seat?"

Nathalie guided Sid towards the small seating area, just off to the side of the hallway.

"Amber is in stable condition now, but we are going to have to monitor her condition. She has lost a lot of blood and was outside in the parking lot for quite some time. She has several broken bones, including her jaw, her –"

"We know about the bones, the nurse filled us in –" Nathalie cut him off, as she held Sid's hand with both of hers. "I think what we need to know is if you were able to save the –" Nathalie couldn't finish the sentence, as she felt her hands being squeezed.

"No… I am extremely sorry. She sustained several blows to her mid section and it would have required a miracle for a pregnancy that early to pull through."

"Oh Sid…" Nathalie wrapped her arms around Sid and pulled him toward her. He couldn't hold it in anymore and just let himself sob in her arms.

-.-

"I said rough her up a bit! Not beat her to death! What the FUCK were you thinking?"

"Sorry, Mr. Talbot… the bitch started fighting back and it was hard to contain her… She got Eddie in the eye, he's in rough shape…"

"You think I fucking care about Eddie? FUCK Eddie! Amber is in the hospital fighting for her life! I should fucking kill you…" Max lunged at the scumbag that he had made the deal with.

"Please Mr. Talbot we really are sorry…" The guy jumped back and started to cover his face.

"Sorry? I am too! You're a fucking idiot… Here's your fucking money…"

The douchebag quickly counted the stack of cash that had been thrown at him. "This isn't the amount we talked about…"

"Well you didn't do the job we talked about either did you?" Max hissed back. "Take the money and get the fuck out of my life! Go back to whatever hole you came from!"

"If anything you should have pay us more! You didn't tell us she was pregnant… we wouldn't have agreed to it, if we knew…"

"WHAT?" Max asked in shook. "W-w-what do you mean pregnant?"

"That's what she said…" the guy shrugged. "That's when we ran away… we don't need to deal with that shit, if you know what I mean…"

"I have to go…" Max turned and started running to where he had parked his car. This was not part of the plan – but he shouldn't be surprised, none of his plans seemed to go right.

-.-

Sid sat slumped in the lounge chair – staring at the wall. His mind was numb, his eyes were red and swollen. Several nurses had checked on him and Nathalie had been there with coffee and water. She had left his side momentarily to go and call Amber's parents and to take care of some details for him.

Mario came and sat down beside him.

"Some of the guys are here… they are out in the waiting room," He said softly. "You don't need to go out and see them, or anything, I just thought it might help you to know that they are here."

"Is Max here?" Sid asked quietly.

"I think he just got here, yeah…"

"Did he go and see her?"

"No. They said family only… Nathalie pulled the donation card to get us in here…"

"Make them let him in there… She needs him right now…"

"I'll see what I can do…" Mario nodded his understanding and climbed to his feet. "Don't be too hard on yourself… there is nothing you could have done…"

"Don't…" Sid just shook his head, he didn't want to hear it right now. He leaned forward and buried his head in his hands. Mario patted his back and watched his young star sob again.

-.-

"Hey," Mario greeted the growing crowd in the waiting room.

"What's going on in there?"

"How is she?"

"How is Sid?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…" Mario put up his hands. "One at a time! Amber is sleeping, she is stable, a lot of broken bones… she is in pretty rough shape… Sid's a mess… I dunno how we are going to get him through this…"

"How did this happen?" Michelle asked, holding her husband's hand tightly.

"I don't know… but there will be a full investigation. The police have already looked at the security tapes from the parking lot. Apparently, the security guard at the players gate didn't have her name on the list… for some fucked up reason… so she went to park in the visitor lot… they said it looks like they were there waiting for her, like they knew, like it was all some kind of plot…"

"Tabernack…" Fleury swore, putting his hand on Vero's head.

"Waiting for her?" Dupuis asked "That's sick… I am going to go call home and fill in the wife…"

"Max, Sid said to tell you to go in and see her… don't start anything with him… Do and so help me God, your career will be over…" Mario threatened him.

Max nodded then stood up and walked towards the doors to the ICU. He began to walk down the hall, checking the names on the doors for Amber's, when he saw Sid slumped in a chair in the corner. His shaking shoulders gave him away – he was clearly crying. 'What have I done?' Max thought to himself – this was not how things were supposed to go. A lot had been made in the media about her since their engagement and he knew she was nervous so he had asked those guys to scare her a bit, drive home any fear she had about being with Sid. Just scare her. Not this -

Max walked over and put his hand on the shoulder of his team mate.

"Hey man, I am really sorry –"

Sid sat up and wiped away his tears. "I'm fine. You should go in there…" Sid nodded towards her room.

"I don't know if I can. Nat said she looked really bad…" Max shivered.

Sid just nodded.

"I am sorry for your loss too, man… that's rough," Max offered his condolences.

"How did you know about that?" Sid snapped.

"Ummm… I just, ummm… heard out there…" Max stumbled for words. He couldn't exactly admit where he had heard. He assumed that everyone knew, that it would have been part of the update on her condition the rest of the team would have heard by now.

"Fuck… I didn't think anyone knew… I don't want to deal with that…" Sid buried his face again.

"Its okay man, no one is going to say anything… have you called her parents?" Max quickly changed the subject.

"Nathalie called them… I haven't really moved…"

"Fair enough… nobody would expect you to… everyone is here for you," Max reminded him. "I'm going to head in and see her…" Sid looked up momentarily and nodded before returning his face to his hands.

Max stood up and headed to her room, pushing open the door and stepping inside. Max tried to contain the gasp when he saw her lying there. He had known her for so long and seen her through so many hard situations but this was too much for him. Seeing her like this, knocked the air out of his lungs. He had done this. He had actually caused this. He had put her in the hospital again. How was he going to live with himself now? Max felt the pressure build up and before he knew if he was bent over her bedside crying.

-.-

"Sid?" Nathalie came around the corner quickly. "Sid?"

Hearing his name, Sid slowly opened his eyes. His eyelids seemed to weigh a tonne and wouldn't open all the way as they were swollen from crying. He didn't want anyone to see him like this, so he had stayed hidden around the corner, away from his team mates that had come to see Amber. Max had stayed in there with her, so at least he didn't feel guilty because she was alone. He felt guilty for so many things that it hardly seemed to make a difference.

"Sid? There you are! Max says she is awake…" He could here the relief in her voice. "You need to come and see her."

"Yeah… umm… okay," Sid slowly rose to his feet and began the walk down the hall to her room. He reached her doorway and peered inside. There were two nurses milling about. Mario stood off to the side, talking to the doctor and Nathalie rushed to her side, leaning down to gingerly hug Amber. Max sat by her bedside, holding her hand and talking softly. A wave of emotion threatened to knock him over as Sid watched Max reach up and brush a stray hair from her swollen, bruised cheek. She was barely recognizable.

"Sid?" Nathalie waved for him to come closer, but he couldn't move. He lowered his eyes to the floor and tried to control the emotions - taking long deep breaths. He couldn't go inside her room. He couldn't get any closer to her. Being close to her was what got her there… Max was right all along. He was bad for her.

"Sid, come here," Nathalie repeated her command in a much less forgiving voice. Sid looked up and locked eyes with Amber. There was so much pain in her eyes, he couldn't handle it. Sid quickly turned and left the doorway. Walking away didn't seem fast enough. He broke into a jog down the hallway of the hospital, pushing through the exit doors of the ICU, running past his team mates who just starred in shock as he passed them and out into the cold air.

Gasping for a breath in the cold late night air, Sid hailed a cab and slid into the backseat.

"Just drive," He managed to choke out to the cab driver, who followed his command and pulled out of the hospital parking lot.

-.-

Amber laid in her bed. Everything hurt. She wasn't sure how many pain killers the doctors and nurses had pumped her full of but it wasn't enough. Max had tried to help her adjust pillows and the doctors had discussed a new course of pain management, as nothing was working. She couldn't get comfortable. She could feel every stitch, every open wound. She could feel where every boot had contacted her, every fist, every backhand slap. She had aches and pains all over her body. No matter how she laid, it hurt.

But the pain she felt on the outside paled in comparison to the pain she felt inside. She had lost their baby. She knew it in the parking lot before she passed out. She knew it as soon as she opened her eyes in the hospital room, before the doctor confirmed her belief. Max held her hand as she cried. Each sob sent a physical rush of pain over her body and the tears that streamed down her cheeks burned as the salty fluid mixed with the cuts and scrapes on her face.

As soon as Sid appeared in the doorway, it was an instant lift for her. She expected him to rush to her side and gather her into his arms, regardless of the broken bones. She needed him to tell her that things were going to be okay. She needed him to kiss her pain away.

Instead he stood there and stared at the floor. He didn't even come in. He looked up at her briefly and Amber tried but couldn't read the look in his eyes. Then he turned and literally ran away. Amber laid there shocked, unable to comprehend what had just occurred. Max stood up and stared at the door, clearly unsure of what he should do next. Mario and Nathalie exchanged looks and Mario quickly went to chase after him but returned moments later, shaking his head. Then all eyes were back on her.

"Did he really just leave?" Amber managed to choke out before the sobbing began. The beeping from the heart rate monitor began to make more noise, beeping louder and faster with each sob.

"Oh sweetie…" Amber heard Nathalie offer, as she reached out to hold her hand. Max let out a round of swears and insults in his native tongue, continuing to hold her hand. Mario continued to stand silently, shaking his head and staring at the floor. The nurses stepped in and added a sedative to her IV and before long Amber leaned back into her pillow and fell back to sleep.