Chapter 3: More than a feeling

by Boston, if there's anyone out there who doesn't know this wonderful song :3

If I may recommend a manga here: Seven Days *thumbsup* Wonderful, wonderful story!

As for my story here: I'm a perfectionist, and what really bugs me are a few parts of that chapter which didn't turn out the way I wanted them... I hope you like them, though :)

Yuri woke up the following morning with his eyes still swollen and his muscles stiff. He felt dead tired. Once again, Wolfram seemed to have sensed something, because he clung to his fiancé's back while his hand was laying relaxed over his waist.

The boy sighed and rolled around to leave the bed and get ready for the journey. The journey which he had to go on with Gwendal alone. He rubbed his temples, wondering how this would turn out, considering the events of the evening before.

After breakfast and some last instructions by Gunter, who looked even worse that day then he did the day before, he called for the maidens to get his trunk to the carriage which would bring them to the harbor.

As the king stepped into the courtyard, it was already waiting for them. And so was Gwendal. His tall, dark figure stood beside the open carriage.

„Good morning," Yuri greeted him, very focused on being all formally and distanced, „won't you travel on your horse this time, like always?"

„Good morning, heika," Gwendal answered equally formally, thoroughly avoiding his look, „as your protector I will have to travel with you in the carriage, if you don't mind, of course."

„No, I don't, it's okay."

Yuri turned around to say farewell to Wolfram. „Take care, wimp," the blond mazoku simply said.

„I will," the black-haired boy smiled at him. „Don't worry and do so yourself."

He noticed that Gwendal had taken a few steps aside in the meantime and was taking his leave from Anissina. His eyes narrowed, but he tried to stay calm.

It got worse when Gwendal bent over to whisper something into her ear. He had thought he could make a point after last night, but it seemed like that only made it even harder. The general turned around quickly after that, approaching him again. Anissina just gave Yuri a short wave with her usual smile, which he reciprocated before entering the carriage. Gwendal followed him quickly.

Yuri sighed heavily. He expected the following days to be very stressful.

They spent the following hours in awkward silence, which lay heavy on the atmosphere in the carriage.

Yuri stared outside the window and tried to avoid looking at Gwendal. He couldn't think of anything else than that particular stoic demon, though.

And what bugged him the most was what the dark-haired man had whispered to Anissina. Jealousy stroke him again, getting increasingly painful. He could think of many things an ex-boyfriend could have told his ex-girlfriend when saying goodbye, especially when their relationship seemed to bloom again over the last weeks.

After hours of silence, Yuri still didn't know what to say. He knew he should excuse himself for that scene of yesterday, but on the other hand, he was still so embarrassed that he didn't want to talk about it at all. However, looking at things as they were now he knew he wouldn't be able to skip the apology.

Somehow, he had to break the tension between them and decided that he was in demand. It had been his fault after all, which he was well aware of.

But the moment he turned his head from the window he had stared out of all the time to the general – and realized how long he had used that method to escape the other one's gaze by his stiff, aching neck – Gwendal had also moved, looking at Yuri directly, his mouth open.

„I-" both of them began, stopping as they noticed each other's attempt.

„Please, heika, speak first," the tall man offered after a short moment of silence.

„Don't call me heika, or I will also have to adress you with your title, Lord von Voltaire."

Yuri noticed a slight change in Gwendal's face. What the... was that, for Shinou's sake? Well, maybe he had just imagined something that wasn't there and his mind was playing tricks on him.

Then he saw the other one's left edge of his lips twitch upwards. „Okay, Yuri, please speak," he said, still smirking slightly.

Well, that didn't help to ease Yuri's confusion either. But he decided to ignore that for the moment.

„I.. I have to apologize for yesterday. I didn't mean to eavesdrop and it wasn't okay to sneak into your privacy. I'm sorry." He swallowed heavily, it was a load of his heart to finally have spoken it out to Gwendal.

The latter looked at him indifferently. „It's okay, you don't have to be sorry. There wasn't anything you wouldn't have been allowed to see. I mean, we were standing in the middle of the hallway, just anybody could have walked by, so please... calm down. I don't want to spend the rest of our trip like that," he answered, though still a little grumpy.

„I just don't want you to be mad at me," Yuri added shyly, feeling his face blush as he looked out the window again to hide it.

„I never was."

As the king looked back at his protector, he noticed the smirk again. And he couldn't do anything about it, he just smiled happily. He felt so relieved.

Then let's not talk about that last part of yesterday, I'm fine with that... The boy felt his face blush again at the embarrassing thought of his crying fit the day before.

„There are actually a few things I'd like to talk over with you. Like the party in Franceshire next month. We have to find a present for King Antoine."

Yuri sighed deeply. He finally felt easy again in the other one's company.

As he woke up from a half-asleep, drowsy state the next day, Yuri felt thoroughly tired again. He sat up in his bed as he noticed the second waking knock at the door. He still pondered about the reason for his recurring sleepless nights. They had stayed at an inn for the night, but the change of location hadn't brought him any progress in solving that problem.

The same thoughts had circled endlessly through his mind without any solution. Some were about Wolfram, some about puberty – which he thought he would have surpassed by now, at the age of 20, but apparently he didn't – but most were about one certain tall, dark, handsome demon.

As he looked sleepily at the door, he noticed a person stepping inside.

Speak of the devil, he thought.

„Good morning, Yuri," Gwendal said, his lips twitching.

„Morning," the king managed to grumble. The sight of the general in the morning didn't help at all. He felt his heart jump, but that also got him fully awake.

„Ah, fine, you're finally awake. See you at breakfast in 15 minutes, then."

With that, he was gone again. Yuri stretched his arms and yawned before he got to his feet to get dressed.

The second day of their trip went also well and they arrived at the harbor in the evening, which meant they were right on schedule.

He had thoroughly enjoyed Gwendal's presence, the conversations, the exchange of opinions and many interesting discussions. And he also had the feeling that he wasn't the only one to feel about it that way.

As they were only accompanied by the personal squad of the von-Voltaire-family, the check-in to the ship was finished quickly and they could get to rest in their bunks. It was just a regular trading ship, but it was also safer for the maou to travel by a usual ship. It was simply not that eye-catching. At least that was what Gunter had said.

He had to share his room with Gwendal, though. All he hoped for was that the dark-haired man didn't notice his sleeping problems. Or, which would be worse, the reason for them.

Yuri used the time they had, waiting for the tide to sail, with getting used to the shaky, unsteady feeling under his feet. If he was lucky, that would help him to get some sleep in the end.

The black-haired boy was already dressed in his pajamas as the older mazoku stepped into their bunk. He reached upwards to place the oil lamp on a hook at the ceiling before changing as well.

Yuri didn't know if Gwendal supposed him to be asleep or not, as he hadn't spoken a single word since entering the berth, but he surely didn't care if the younger one saw him undressing. The latter swallowed heavily at the sight of the tall, trained body, toned muscles stretching before his eyes and long, dark hair falling along that broad back. Gwendal was undeniably physically attractive.

So I think that guys are attractive, he stated to himself silently. Shin Makoku really turned me upside down when I'm seriously thinking like this. I always dreamed of a skinny, sweet girl in my arms one day. But this... he watched the handsome mazoku again as the latter buttoned up his pajama shirt – not that he had turned off his eyes in the meantime... doesn't look too bad either.

But who cares if I'm gay or not. He knew his country and the people living there well enough by now, and he realized that he didn't mind at all. If it was that way, then it was. What should he do about it anyway?

The only thing that still bothered him was the fact that he never felt that attracted to Wolfram. But well, he also didn't think that every girl he met on the street was hot just because she was a girl, right?

Gwendal is truly special. He didn't even need his mind to tell him that, his body was already showing him well enough...

Yuri's heart already pounded painfully hard in his chest, from the huge excitement and arousal, when the man he had watched all the time turned around and looked directly into his eyes. He gasped for air, hiding his deep red face quickly in his pillow.

„Good night, Yuri."

„Sleep well, Gwendal..."

He thought he had to die from shame right there again.

Of course Yuri hadn't slept too well. Nightmares had been hunting him all night, which resulted in him having easily surpassed the state of dead tired by now. All he wanted was just some relaxing sleep, but through the daytime, he already caught himself at listing things he could do or think about during the night. Because he already knew that he wouldn't get any sleep.

Yawning, Yuri scrambled down the bunk bed. With one short glance at the bottom one, he noticed that Gwendal was apparently already awake. He felt like a zombie, so if nobody saw him like that, he wouldn't have any objections anyway. A look in the mirror told him just well how miserable he looked.

The black-haired boy rubbed his eyes before searching the small bunk for his usual uniform to get dressed. Afterwards he went on deck hungrily to get some food, just to find his companion already there, sitting on the planks while leaning against the main mast.

„Good morning, heika," he greeted him without looking up from his plate.

„G'morning... and it's Yuri."

„Of course, Yuri."

„What's up for today?" the king sat down and grabbed a piece of cake from the tray Gwendal offered to him. The sweet pastry was the perfect food for a day like this, Yuri thought. The sun just began to rise and dipped the horizon in orange and red light.

„Nothing much, just like yesterday. If the sea allows, we will be arriving in Small Shimaron about tomorrow's late afternoon."

Yuri nodded thoughtfully. „You know, it's strangely quiet without Wolfram on a ship."

As he looked at Gwendal, he noticed the dark-haired mazokus lips twitch. He chuckled softly, a sound that still amazed the boy. Seeing his general amused was not canon at all, but he was happy to see him like that. It made him feel that the other one enjoyed traveling with him and it made him feel special.

As Gwendal finally turned his head to look at him, Yuri couldn't prevent himself from smiling. Whatever he thought of him now, he didn't care. He definitely enjoyed his company, and the man should know that. He felt safe and protected. And considering that, the young king still couldn't figure out, why he was sleeping so badly lately... well, if he slept at all. The thought brought him to another yawn again.

„You should rest, Yuri, you look tired," the general addressed him, as if he had read his thoughts, which made the young king shiver.

„No, no, I'm fine," the boy just answered after swallowing the last bite of his cake. He got to his feet, intending to head to the railing to look at the wonderful sunrise. Gwendal followed him, which Yuri was fully aware of.

Suddenly, he felt the planks under his feet tremble and shift, throwing him off balance and he found himself stumbling backwards. A wave must have hit the ship, he couldn't find any other reason for that sudden shake. He prepared himself mentally for the hit of his bottom onto the hard boards, closing his eyes to bear the pain.

Instead, a strong arm around his waist was preventing him from that. As he opened his eyes again, Yuri found himself laying speechless in Gwendal's arm. A certain herbal, tangy – well – manly fragrance, which he immediately would connect to the general, surrounded him. As he looked upwards, his eyes met a pair of intense, indigo blue ones, which looked worriedly down at him. The wrinkle between them was unusually soft and as Yuri noticed also very well, Gwendal's lips were lightly parted, forming a smooth, soft line as he panted. Just a bit, but enough to make the boy realize how near he was. How their bodies touched, the arm around his waist, his leg at the other one's, his face merely inches away.

It were just seconds, but they changed everything for Yuri. Countless moments, wherein he felt his heart jump up to a way too fast beat, his face getting hot, sharp breaths of excitement escaping his lips.

As he caught himself about thinking how it must feel to be kissed by these soft lips, so close to his own, to be held due to that strong, tall body... he, Shibuya Yuri, Harajuku Fuuri, the 27. maou of Shin Makoku, knew that he had fallen utterly and completely for Sir Gwendal von Voltaire.

Swept away by a sudden wave of unknown, warm and exciting feelings that tightened his chest and made the pit of his stomach burn, he tried to hold his composure as Gwendal let go of him.

The loss of the warmth of the older one's arm and body made him shiver. With a shy look at his companion, Yuri noticed that he had turned away, for whatever that should mean.

The man went to the railing and sat down there, leaning against the hard wooden bars. He looked at the king, inviting him to take a seat at his side with a short clap at the place beside him. Yuri didn't think about it too long and quickly he looked at the same sunrise as Gwendal did.

The sight of his general, dipped in the warm, orange light of the rising sun, would have made every girl melt away. He could hardly get his eyes off him to watch the beautiful sunrise instead.

Yuri sighed heavily. There was still one thing he had to clarify.

„May I ask you something very personal, Gwendal?" he inquired quietly, without looking at the other one. This would be embarrassing enough.

He just hoped that he didn't ruin the moment. But he simply had to know.

„Depends on the question. May I decide whether I'm answering or not after you asked it?" the deep voice beside him asked in response. The fluttering feeling in his chest became more intense as felt the spoken words vibrating there.

„Okay... I wanted to ask you... uhm- what it's about you and Anissina?"

Awkward silence.

After countless seconds that seemed like hours to Yuri, Gwendal answered. „Well, we have always been friends since our childhood and at some point we had been a couple. Since then, it has always been the way you know it."

That doesn't answer my question at all. But he didn't dare to ask any further about the recent changes.

„How long were you dating?"

„About 17 years."

„Wow," Yuri was stunned. „That's pretty long. So, why did you break up, then? If I may ask-"

„You don't understand, Yuri," Gwendal interrupted him, „For a demon, 17 years isn't that long, in fact. To make a long story short, we were together several years, until the great war started. Which means about 25 years ago. I was constantly out on the battlefield. When I came back, she had devoted herself completely into her inventions and she said I had changed as well. Of course, I was not that energetic any more, I was simply weary of the war. When we finally managed to get to peace again, the country was laying in fragments and we had to build everything back up that we destroyed. It was hard and occupied me completely. She was weary of having to worry about me all the time and the distance between us increased. She seemed like a completely different person when we finally met again. So we decided that it's better if our ways parted again."

„Do you regret it? Would you want to..." restart the relationship again? Yuri wanted to ask, but it seemed that his mouth refused to say what his brain told it. Jealousy hit him hard again and he was afraid of his own reaction if the answer would actually be Yes.

„No, I don't. It was the absolute right thing to do at that time."

And now?

Yuri didn't ask any further and tried to ignore Gwendal's indifferent gaze at him.

So far for chapter 3.

This is the first fic I write which is (almost) thoroughly told in one single person's POV. As much as I love to write Gwendal, but I simply had to try this for once.

Also, I have to restrain myself from watching the anime or reading the latest volume of the manga... ^^ Though it makes me regularly melt away at seeing Gwendal (he's drawn so exellent in the manga, he's plain HOT *_*), it also makes me write a Conyuu-fic again, because Conrad has always been my favorite character. And if I will read or see any more, Conrad would probably burst into the fic, throwing Yuri over his shoulder and leaving his poor brother grieving alone.