-Ehh...poor Kuja. Poor, poor Kuja. Tantalus barely shows up here, but I promise, a whole load of Tantalus (or at least, more than there should be) next chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy IX , if I did...the...cat-dragon-rabbit thing would be there. Which reminds me, has anyone noticed it's a little nod to Chowder, the cat-bear-rabbit thing?

"Whoa! Zidane! Dude, you reek!" Blank covered his nose, backing away. "You reek of blood...!"

"Shut up, Blank! I had to fight some cat-dragon-rabbit thing that eats chocobos! Where's Kuja?!" I yelled, probably angry at myself for not being there? I don't know, but hell was I worried. There were so many questions I seemed to have, and it was like only he knew the answer to each one. It's what makes me feel sick of myself; I have to rely on someone else to get the answers I seek. I've never had to rely on someone most times, and I always thought it was stupid. And here I am.

"Calm down Zidane, he's fine, but he's been calling for you." Blank said. "He said something about the darkness engulfing him; dragging him down somewhere. He screamed that it hurt to be dragged down. He also mentioned—or if you want, screamed—of a light, a bright, bright light."

"I have to go to him."

"Smelling like that?" Blank took another couple of steps back, hand covering his mouth and nose. "Dude, you can't burst in smelling of...cat-dragon-rabbit blood."

"I just want to know if Kuja's alright."

"Fine, go ahead." Blank gestured to the door, not breathing to prevent having to smell the stench. I only frowned at him. Did I honestly smell that bad? Because I couldn't smell anything. That, or I had already gotten used to the cat-dragon-rabbit thing's blood.

I swung the doors open, smelling like blood. Kuja wasn't exactly awake but I think he was aware that I was here. I ran to his side, even if I did smell of blood. "Kuja, are you alright?" I asked, my eyes holding worry. He seemed like he was in trouble. I've seen it happen to people. It was like some kind of unexplainable plague. You have nightmares of sorts and then, you just...die. Maybe it's just simply known as 'death in sleep' but...there was something off about it. You know those times when you know something's wrong, but you can't put your finger on it?

I gazed at him, he was half asleep, but he managed to let a soft whimper. I sighed in relief. At least he was alive. "Kuja, stay here, I'm just gonna change." I said softly and stood up, heading for the bathroom. I closed the main door of the room before I took my vest and undershirt off, heading in the bathroom. I kept myself alert. I wanted to protect Kuja, since it was the best thing I could do for him. I stared at the mirror. I looked tired and worn out, which I thought was an accurate image because I felt tired and worn out. There was still blood on my body. The thing's blood. I frowned, getting a towel, wetting it then wringing it. I washed up.

I remembered my thigh. That part of the pants felt heavy with blood. It was disgusting because the blood began to become coagulated, even if it was just hanging around in cloth. The thing about monsters, as I've noticed, was that their blood varies. For example, a monster, let's say a Gigan Toad were to appear. If you had its blood splash all over you, it would feel slimy and at some point slippery, like goo. It had blood qualities too, like it obviously being red and the way it dried up. Dragon blood was like scales—thick and heavier than normal human blood. That was precisely what the weird things' blood felt. Thick and heavy. It was a dragon, that much I knew.

I inserted my thumbs in my pants, about to take them off when I heard Kuja call me.

"Zidane...?" Kuja called me, like he was lost. "Why do you smell of blood? Did something happen?"

I smiled behind the bathroom door. I popped my head out and grinned. "No, no. Nothing really important happened. I just fought a dragon that feasts on chocobos. That's all, Kuja. Go back to sleep if you want. I'll be here." I said, as sweetly as my voice can go, making me sound a bit fake. I had a feeling Kuja didn't believe me so much because of the tone, since he stared at me for a while before he snuggled back in the covers. What I said couldn't be any more true, though.

I just wish Kuja knew that.

I took a long shower. A long, long shower, just to get all the stench off me. It wasn't easy, because dragon blood is, as I've said, just like their scales, in a way. Scales are hard, and if you were to describe a smell as 'hard' you would have to say, oh, maybe intense. And boy, was it intense. I still faintly smelled of dragon blood, much to my dissatisfaction. The fact I still smelled of blood upset me so much, I was frowning and mumbling curses the whole time I was putting on clothes and about to get out. I stopped frowning though.

I smiled faintly at Kuja, sleeping peacefully like a helpless girl, since he was curled up and the blanket only covered around, three fourths of his body. I only payed attention to what he was wearing now; a plain, whitish gray pair of pajamas, but he looked nice in them. In a way. His eyes were closed, but not tightly shut. His hands were like fists that had just been relaxed. He had a lot of pillows. Sad part was half of the pillows he had were mine. Were.

Kuja hugged one of the pillows he took from me. A nice pillow filled with a strange mix of feathers and cotton. It was nice and fluffy, unlike my other pillows. Which also made me sad because he took my favorite one. But since Kuja was already on his last few days, weeks or months, I decided to let him have it, while he wasn't looking. Don't get me wrong, he asked for it, argued, and then gave up, settling with other pillows. His excuse for wanting pillows that he 'wasn't used to sleeping with less than three pillows' since he came from a palace and all.

I settled down on the bed, closing the lamp on the bedside table in between me and Kuja and settled under my blanket. Did I also mention he took a blanket from me once? He gave it back at least. Thoughts of him stealing my bed stuff aside, I shifted my mind to how much he's changed. And he has considerably, problem is, his whole stealing my pillows and blanket just proved he could be a bit selfish, like he always has. I mean, have you seen his palace? His palace is downright huge beyond all reason. It's no wonder he has to hide it under quicksand or else he's gonna have a whole army of haters running after him. Eiko complained for around thirty minutes about how they—as in, Vivi, Quina and Freya; Dagger was with me—kept getting lost just because everything was downright big and looked almost the same.

I laughed softly to myself, just as I remembered everyone. Vivi took Kuja's presence well; he understood. I'm just not sure how the others will. Amarant is sure to say nothing much. Quina doesn't have much against Kuja, so he—or she—isn't going to say much either. Probably 'Zidane, he bad man, why he still live?' or 'Zidane, he have no food! Why he have no food?!', whichever comes to Quina first; Kuja's deeds or food. Eiko will question me endlessly, Steiner will...scold me. Freya would question me as well, then see if she can allow. Dagger would...

I heard a faint knock on the window. Unlike the Prima Vista room I have, the window here was small. Really small, compared to the huge one in the ship. I didn't realize that I actually slept a little. Or was too deep in my thoughts with my eyes shut that I didn't realize how much time flew by. It wasn't exactly morning, but I think it was near dawn.

I walked up to the window and I saw a tired and breathless Artemicion. I quickly opened the window and popped my head out. Even if the window was small compared to the huge one in the Prima Vista, it was still somewhat big. Or at least medium sized. Big enough for me to poke my head out and still have some space.

"Zidane...I..." Artemicion dropped on the windowsill, breathing heavily. "Whew...what a trip..." He said, in between deep breaths for air. I was a bit grumpy, so I gave a scowl.

"Artemicion..." I sighed, "the letter, if I have any?"

"Okay, okay...just...whew...can I have a glass of water?"

"Letter first."

"I thought you weren't cruel..." Artemicion moaned, flopping to his back. "Come on buddy, please? A glass of water? A cup of coffee? Anything ice?"

"You don't hand me the letter, I'm gonna have my brother hit you with ice, now give it." I demanded, still grumpy for the restless night the heavens bestowed upon me. I put a hand to my head, groaning at the minor headache.

"Oh come on...please? Just for me?"

"I'm about to tackle you right about now..." I threatened, growing really impatient.

"Oh fine, but after this I need a glass of water. I thought it was really urgent so I didn't exactly drink..." Artemicion reached for his bag, shuffling through the papers. While he looked for the letter, he continued complaining. "Whew...three urgent letters in between people from Lindblum and Alexandria...I praise the heavens it wasn't anywhere drastic like delivering mail between moogles in the Forgotten Continent and the Mist Continent..." He said, voice lowering, slowly becoming a soft mumble.

"Aha!" He brought a white envelope out and made a victory pose. "Here. And I need a glass of water, kupo." Artemicion handed it to me.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just go to the kitchen and grab yourself some." I said, still scowling at Artemicion while I opened the letter.

"You can't bring it for me, kupo?" He whined. I threw a glare.

"FYI, I'm not your servant, in fact, you're the one who's supposed to be serving me."

"Hello?! I flew from Lindblum to Alexandria and back just for you, kupo! Isn't that considered service?!" He stood up, hands on his furry and chubby waist. Artemicion was the type of moogle that was...gutsy. He fought back a lot.

"Hey! Don't make me—!"

"Fine! I'll get it myself, kupo..." Artemicion began mumbling, flying to the door to go to the kitchen and get himself some water. I sighed heavily. I was afraid I might have disturbed Kuja a little. I looked back at the window and the sun started peeking. I turned back to Kuja and he was still sleeping soundly.

I got the letter out of the envelope, and there was only a few words that were written on the paper. It was Dagger's handwriting, making me feel relieved that she wasn't talking about someone else. I carefully read it, near the window so the sun shone some light on it, just as I heard Ruby scream of a moogle and Artemicion shouted back.

'I just want to know...why?'

Just as I was about to set it down and grab my own pen and paper to reply, Kuja began screaming. I dropped the letter, stunned, and ran to Kuja's bedside. He screamed of a darkness pulling him in, only this time, there was a demon. He screamed again, making me freeze beside him. It was my first time to hear Kuja scream after all. What broke my heart—in a way—was that he started screaming my name.

"Kuja!" I called, placing both my hands on his shoulders, shaking him. "Kuja! Wake up!"

And he slowly stopped screaming. His voice lowered to silent little sobs or...something, and his eyes opened. He looked scared. My heart sank, seeing him like this. It was a brotherly thing, I hope. Kuja just threw his arms around my neck and hugged me tight.

I couldn't get used to many things about Kuja. Ever since I saved him from the Iifa Tree...yeah, he changed, but...

"Zidane?" Kuja called me, almost sleepily. His hair was kind of messy these days, and his eyes always looked almost...empty. It made goosebumps run down my spine.

"Yeah?" I lifted my head from my hand. I just realized I was staring at him worriedly. But he seemed to not notice because he was staring at his maroon blankets. The sun poured in, coloring everything with a bright yellowish light. Kuja turned to me.

"I suppose you're wondering what..." he trailed, looking away. Like there was something traumatizing on my face. "...what my dream was..."

"Oh, no, it's okay if you don't want to talk about it..." I smiled faintly, like I was insisting I didn't need to know and things were gonna be okay. Like I said, a smile meant a lot. He looked back at me, frowning a little. He took a deep breath.

"You were in it..."

"Wha...? Why?" I wondered, my head slightly tilting like it usually did.

"I don't know." He said, shrugging. "But you were in it. You were in it and we were both in a sea of dark blood. I don't know if it was dark blood, or just a dim place with black water. We were both drowning, our heads bobbing up and down. I was holding out just fine, but then you started having trouble. I tried to help you but it didn't work, you started to scream my name, asking for help. Or maybe just a brotherly hand to remind you weren't alone. And then, your voice started to fade and there was this demon thing with horns..." Kuja gestured with his hands, like he was sculpting ram horns on a head with clay.

He paused a while, trying to remember, I think. "The demon laughed, and he sounded roughly like...a god. I don't know. You just can tell he is in a way. Then your voice grew weaker until you stopped moving. Then...I don't know...it's..vague after that."

I smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry Kuja, I'm here. I'm still here." I grinned.

Kuja smiled back at me, still in his bed. I guess we both grew a soft spot for each other these past few...months. Almost eleven. That, I guess, was enough time for some mortal enemy to become a good brother to you and gain a soft spot for him.

"Hey, I'm gonna get you some breakfast, okay?"

"Yeah." Kuja nodded. "I'll just stay here..."

I nodded, walking out to get him a tray of food. We both knew that we were both shaken up from the whole, few-minute incident. I knew I was because, it was...in a way, scary. I mean, think about it. Your brother suddenly starts screaming about something and you just stand there, listening to him. Even though it was only a few seconds, it was still somewhat scary and a bit painful.

When I went in the kitchen, I saw Artemicion, drinking a lot of water, and beside him were a plateful of eggs. I scowled again and put my hands on my waist. I stomped.

"Artemicion!" He dropped what he was holding and looked at me, cowering in fear. "Get out of here. I said a glass of water. You said a glass of water. Only. Now, get going. You have other moogles waiting, I'm sure." I said, pointing to the door with a frown.

Artemicion mumbled, flying on his way out. I decided not to be so hard on the guy, and shouted before he left.

"If you want me to be kind, you shouldn't talk back anymore!"

I think he heard it. But only a few minutes after he left, I realized I hadn't replied to Dagger.

"Kuja, what am I gonna do?" I asked, desperately looking for an answer. I paced around the room, biting my gloved thumb. My tail swayed anxiously. I shook my head at each lame and obviously useless idea. "She might think I don't...she might..." I said nervously, not able to finish my sentences. I didn't want Dagger to get the wrong idea; that I didn't love her. Even if it's obvious I did. Love is sensitive, I guess. And it was partially because this was my first time? I'm not sure—like I am about many things—but I had a feeling that me not replying could send wrong messages. No pun intended.

It wasn't easy finding a moogle now. They move around. Not like that moogle I recall is Stiltzkin; traveling around the world. They just kept moving. And in Lindblum, there were a lot of places a moogle could go to. I lost that flute that called on a moogle, I forgot the name, since they all looked the same. It was either I lost the flute or I left it with everyone else. I couldn't go to Alexandria because...well, I had to look after Kuja. Blank and the others had their own business to attend to. I mean, Cinna's always busy tinkering with gears and such, and it's a fragile hobby because the slightest movement could pull all his hard work down the drain, Blank was secretly—yes, he doesn't know me and Boss know—fascinated with herbs, so it was sort of crucial that he learned, in case something happens. Ruby was...I don't know what went on with her or everyone else, but still. I couldn't leave.

Kuja was too busy watching me while nibbling on a pancake to answer. When I turned to him, he only blinked and gave a sheepish grin. "I'm not sure, Zidane." He said, still holding his pancake with a fork. "Maybe you should just trust everyone here and—"

"No. I want to stay. We both know you want me here." I said, insisting I wouldn't leave him here. "Last time you told me to leave you..." I trailed

Kuja fell silent and sighed, like he always does when he's disappointed. Maybe he was disappointed in my faith in everyone else. I gave a worried sigh myself and sat down on his bed.

"Kuja..."

"Come on, you can leave me here with Tantalus. I promise." Kuja said, smiling a little.

"I feel like I can't, okay?" I looked down, a little upset myself. It's like something in me knew he was right, but I denied it and knew my reason for it wasn't exactly the best reason. "I feel like I can't leave you, after what happened. You screaming and all. It wasn't the first time, either. And I know that you won't be sleeping, but...something else might happen."

"You know that's not true."

"It's possible!"

"It's for your love, Zidane. Go ahead. I'll be fine, really. Nothing will happen and everyone in Tantalus will make sure of that—as well as me, okay? This is something you have to do, Zidane." Kuja insisted, not wanting to take 'no' for an answer.

"I just...feel like I need to be here. As a brother, you know?" I paused. "It's...I feel like I can't abandon you."

"Says the one who was willing to rescue the genomes alone. Zidane, I saw you. You were willing to go alone to save the genomes. You were willing to leave your friends." Kuja said, crossing his arms, feeling like he's won but still looked at me.

"Yeah, because I couldn't abandon the genomes!" I shot back, but not meaning to sound offensive or anything.

Kuja sighed heavily. "Oh fine. I can't convince you otherwise. I've already tried that." He said, a little smile at the corner of his lips. "Just don't make me regret it."

As time passed from hours, to days, to weeks...I felt like Kuja's eyes were getting dimmer and dimmer. When he started fitting in, his eyes were practically shimmering with various emotions and feelings. Now, his eyes still held those emotions, true, but they were...less lively. That's it. He wasn't so lively.

My heart kept sinking whenever I saw Kuja sitting on the bed. He gradually started to lose his strength, not letting him walk so properly. He always tried, with that face of determination. He would grip anything to pull himself up, then let go, taking a few steps. Then, after like ten steps, he would fall or trip. When time passed, after a few days, ten steps became eight, six, five...with much more force, he could still go a couple of more steps, but it was extremely evident that he was definitely losing it.

He tried casting magic, too. It only took one Curaga spell to weaken him considerably now. It worried me. When we fought him, he used Curaga like, a hundred times. And that wasn't in Trance. I understood if he could only hold out for like...fifteen spells only, but...only one? Eiko could handle that. And how little was she? Six?

Like everything else, his voice grew weaker. It was as upbeat as he made it, but it was weaker, and he began to sound like he hadn't drank water in a while. He was getting paler and his hands were getting shaky beyond all reason. He could hold a glass, sure, but...it would spill a little. If I still hated him, I would have laughed straight at his face, knowing he wouldn't Ultima me to bits, but I didn't. I didn't hate Kuja. After...what, evleven months and two weeks?

With that given time, I wasn't afraid to tell people that I loved Kuja as a brother, and the way I see it, that was never going to change.