Starscream's the One and Only
Written by: NovaBlastTF
Edited by: Fliara48
Chapter 3: Part 2, Firewall Upgrade
"Star? Don't you think this is going a bit far?"
"No, Skywarp, I don't."
"But every one of the Decepticons is avoiding you like you have cosmic rust after all the 'Security Breaches.'"
"Yes, yes, I know, but Megatron still hasn't learned anything! And I will make sure that he and the other Decepticons will never forget that I am the Second in Command!"
"But, Starscream! Megatron won't even move an inch around you, or even budge when your name is mentioned… I think it was the cycles and cycles of you staring at him straight for no reason."
"And that is only the beginning of my plan, Thundercracker. Now keep painting!"
Megatron was sitting on his throne, looking across the room and holding on tightly to his fusion cannon. He twitched at every footstep. The reason? Starscream.
The day before, Starscream was running rampant through the ship, imitating the Autobot, Redalert. Not only did he terrorize the entire Decepticon army about useless and outdated security protocols, Who knew that there were so many? There was even one for drinking energon for Primus sake, but then, after scarring the soldiers for life, the seeker then came into the control room, sat down, and just stared.
Never took his optics off Megatron—just stared, twitched his wings, and stared. Megatron was tense when he first entered as one never know what Starscream might be planning in that twisted CPU. After a cycle though, he was on edge, and ready to shoot Starscream just to get him to do something… ANYTHING! But he was not going to lose this mental battle to Starscream… unless Starscream twitched those wings one more time! Luckily, Starscream chose to leave at that moment.
"Soundwave! Where is Starscream now?"
"Location: Med bay."
"What is he doing in there?"
"Purpose: Unknown."
Med bay? He hadn't slagged Starscream lately; he was too busy hiding—err, doing work in his quarters. Did some mech finally snap with all the security protocols, and beat the seeker senseless for him? Not that he couldn't do it himself… Or was this part of Starscream's new plan?
Megatron shuddered. Not again…
Dirge offlined his optics, counted to ten, turned them on again, and stared.
"How the in the pit did you get this slagged? What, did you have a fight with the wall or something!"
"S-S-Starscream?"
"STOP MOVING! You cracked your cockpit, and I need to paste this compound onto it so we don't have to waste spare parts on your worthless aft!"
"W-Why are you white? What's that thing on your head? WHAT ARE THOSE PAINTED ON YOUR WINGS?"
"SHUT UP! Or I will weld your lip components together, and use you for spare parts!"
*Whimper*
"…Wimp."
Dirge stayed frozen to the spot as… Starscream… gently coated the cracks in his cockpit with the paste and slowly started to heat it, watching it closely. Dirge whimpered and looked to the side; his two trine mates were holding each other and trying to phase through the wall, scared out their processors. Dirge then turned to stare at Starscream again, who was looking over the now intact glass.
This… this was wrong… He and his trine just had gotten those fragging helmets off, and now this? When this was over he was going to go, take his trine and lock themselves in their quarters until Starscream returned to normal… If he ever was…
"There! Brand new. I better not see you here again, Dirge. YOU OR YOUR TRINE. I just fixed your useless aft, and don't think that because you want a fight with the window, I'll fix your aft again. I have enough to deal with in this fragging gung-ho army who thinks that bashing their heads against solid objects will magically make them smarter. One more injury, and I will weld you to the ceiling! YOUAND YOUR FLY-INTO-THE-WALL-TRINE!" Dirge was scared as the welder was just in Starscream's reach, and him waving around the ratchet was not encouraging either. "Now, GET OUT OF MY MED BAY!"
Dirge and his trine did not need another warning before they dashed out of the med bay so fast that they nearly ran straight into Hook who was walking in. "RUN HOOK! RUN FOR YOUR PRIMUS GIVEN LIFE!" Screamed Thrust as he flew past.
Hook stared at the departing seekers, looked at the innocent door, and cycled his vents. Seekers were crazy, but with the scared look on their face plates, something had to be up. What with Starscream acting weird… Hook mentally prepared himself, and walked in to see… a white seeker.
'Who the pit?' Wondered Hook, gawking.
They didn't have another seeker, much less a white one. Did this one just come from Cybertron or something? Why wasn't he told about this? He was the primus damned medic of the army—one would think that the arrival of new personnel was something he should be informed of right away. It was even another seeker! Like they didn't have enough crazy ones already. Starscream alone was enough to drive them off the ship and into the Autobots' arms.
"Alright, who the pit are you?"
The unknown seeker paused and started to turn around, and Hook could feel his horror growing as more and more of the seeker was revealed. "Well it's about slagging time, Hook! Do I look like I can handle this fragging army alone or something? Do I look like Primus to you? You were supposed to have your aft in here nearly a cycle ago! I swear I should just weld your aft to the door! You think that I don't have things to do? I have to go and give Megatron these medical reports, because SOMEONE thinks that Primus will perform a slagging miracle and do it for them!"
Starscream continued to rant about the "gung-ho hey-I-wonder-if-I-can-eat-rocks" army, and how all the Autobots needed to win was to just wait another few cycles as he walked out the door. Hook stayed frozen in the same position for a few astroseconds before he was seen running through the halls to hide in his quarters. Astroseconds later, the other constructicons were also seen running to their quarters as they'd felt Hook's discovery through their shared bond.
Megatron huffed in frustration; Starscream was a cycle late for his duties, and he was getting antsy.
"Location: Starscream heading to the control room," droned Soundwave, reading Megatron's thoughts. Ravage jumped and hid in Soundwave's compartment, still scared pitless after the Redalert incident.
Megatron just nodded. He was sure Starscream was up to something again—he must have been over the Redalert phase, and planning something else by now.
The doors opened to reveal a shining white and red seeker, with a halo of white surrounding him. Megatron and Soundwave stared in wonder, then in growing horror as it dawned on them just who it was. It was Starscream, their crazy second in command, painted white, with red crosses on his arms and wings, and with a red, "V" shaped chevron attached to his forehead.
Primus must hate them…
"Sorry for being late, but that fragging Hook decided to take his time dragging his aft around the ship. Him and those damn Coneheads... You'd think those damn seekers would realize that going head first into solid objects would be bad, but nooo~." Starscream huffed indignantly and handed Megatron some datapads. "I also did a file checkup and discovered that our incompetent medic, Hook, never updated our firewalls. You would think that crashing on a foreign planet would give him a clue that we are in dire need of one, but you know him—always with his head stuffed up his aft. So I will be ordering a mandatory firewall upgrade for all personnel!"
Megatron could only gawp at the datapads with dread. Starscream messing around with his internal defenses? Messing around in his CPU? When Optimus Prime declared his undying love to Frenzy, he would!
Soundwave retreated out of the room through the door to hide. He did not like where Starscream's order was leading.
"I'll be in the med bay getting ready." Starscream headed to the doors. "I'll see you soon, Commander~!"
As the doors shut, blocking out the white seeker from view, Megatron locked them, and hurriedly moved to secure the rest of the throne room.
Primus had doomed them in the form of a seeker.
"To all Decepticon personnel: There will be a mandatory upgrade of all your internal firewalls and processors. Report to the med bay immediately so they can be installed. DON'T THINK I WON'T HUNT YOU SLAGGERS DOWN! YOUR AFTS ARE MINE TODAY, AND DON'T THINK YOU CAN ESCAPE EITHER! Just make it easier and less painful on yourselves, and come to the med bay. Starscream, the medic, out."
Starscream hummed as he started to fiddle with some of the equipment. 'Slide this here, click this on here, all clear? ...Yes! All ready!'
"Star?" Starscream turned to see Skywarp hiding behind Thundercracker at the med bay doors.
"My loyal trine! You came! I had my suspicions that you wouldn't come, but I shouldn't have doubted you so!"
"We were too scared cause of last time, and with you acting like that medic Ratchet…"
"The emotions you were sending across the bond were not encouraging either…"
"Oh Thundercracker, you make me out as if I were the pit master."
"TC! We should run!"
"Hush Skywarp, or he'll weld us to the ceiling."
Starscream pretended he did not hear that, and turned to pick up two hand held devices. "Just connect yourselves to these through your CPU cables."
Thundercracker and Skywarp warily took them from the white seeker, only to stare at them like they were going to transform and bite off their servos.
"…That or we can do it the more manual way."
The two seekers stuttered in horror as Starscream picked up the ratchet. "No, NO-NO! We'll do it!"
Both seekers then plugged them in, their systems shut down for an astrosecond before rebooting. "That's it?"
"Of course, Skywarp! You act as though I was going to rewire your interface panels or something."
Thundercracker was looking himself over. "…I think I feel better than before."
"What do you think an 'upgrade' means? Of course you feel better, you slagger! Don't doubt my work."
"What's that?" Skywarp pointed over at the long device that Starscream had just been working on. The sadistic smile that encased Starscream's face sent a shiver to his two trine mates' sparks.
"This is my secret weapon, and punishment for those un-loyal slaggers."
"You mean, we would've gotten that if we didn't come to the med bay?"
"…Perhaps, Skywarp, perhaps."
"TC!"
"Let's just hide in our quarters, Skywarp."
"Have fun in there, you two, cause I know I'm definitely going to~!" Starscream was caressing the device as Skywarp warped himself and the blue seeker out to safety. "Fun indeed."
"I swear, Frenzy, Screamer's lost his microprocessor."
"You're tellin' me, Rumble. The Autobot, Ratchet? What the pit is goin' on around here?"
Both the cassetticon twins were hiding in an old, unused storeroom. When they saw Starscream come into the throne room, they recognized another crazy plan, and decided to split from Soundwave to hide.
"What's with all this Autoscum acting?"
"Who knows what goes through that fraggin seeker's processor. It's probably over another argument with Megatron or somethin'."
"How the pit is this even a play for leadership? Annoy the frag out of us into submission?"
"Hey, it's Screamer! How would I know?"
Click
Frenzy and Rumble went quiet, and listened for another sound. "Did you hear…?"
"Shut up!"
…tap, tap…
Frenzy and Rumble froze as they heard footsteps coming closer to the storeroom they were hiding in. Frozen and tense, they were determined to stay hidden until those footsteps passed; they were determined not to suffer through Starscream's crazy plan. When the footsteps passed and faded, they both let out a relieved cycle of air.
"Any idea who that fragger was?"
"Don't care. Who the slag would even be down here?"
"Probably those insecticons or somethin'. They're always crawlin' around."
"Let's just get out of here, hide in the brig area or something like that. Screamer would never look there."
"Yeah! Scaredy seeker—move a little underground, and they start freakin' out!"
Both cassetticons laughed as they opened the door and walked out into the hall, only to freeze when they realized that someone was right behind them. "Well, well, well… Look what 'that Screamer' just found."
"Screamer-!"
"What the slag is that-!"
Click!
Two simultaneous screams echoed through the empty halls. "Two down, the rest of the ship to go~."
Two avian birds were flying through the halls, dodging all the other Decepticon troops that were running to take cover. Word had gotten out that Starscream was hunting down every mech in the Nemesis, and everyone was scrambling to safety. The two cassetticons birds slashed through the air at high speeds as more screams echoed through the halls, only encouraging them to move faster. Buzzsaw and Laserbeak were flying towards the airlock thinking that if they were out of the ship and in the open air, Starscream would never find them.
They had felt Frenzy and Rumble fall, and they did not want to be next; it felt painful!
As they flew past Swindle, Buzzsaw was barely able to dodge a flying projectile that just scraped his wing. It stabbed Swindle on his leg though, and he roared in pain, swearing at Starscream before falling over. The two birds paused to look back, only to see a smiling seeker who reloaded and cocked his weapon. "Hunting season's open, slaggers!"
Buzzsaw and Laserbeak quickly flew around the corner in a panic as they heard Starscream activate his own thrusters to give chase. The halls were large enough to allow the seeker to fly, but not wide enough to give him much maneuverability—something that the two cassetticons were counting on as they bobbed and weaved through the fleeing mechs. Only two more halls to go until the airlock!
Screeching in relief as they reached the airlock, Buzzsaw quickly commed to open the door, but to their horror, they were denied. Trying to break in mid-air from full speed, they flapped helplessly before slamming into the door that sealed their fate. As they fell to the floor, they were dazed and helpless as a seeker's shadow loomed over them.
"Sorry, must be a leftover from the 'security breaches'. Oh, lucky me!"
Two shrieks cut through the air, scaring the remaining troops.
Soundwave paced back and forth in the empty hallway with Ravage at his heels. He knew Starscream was hunting down everyone that crossed his path, and already four of his cassettes had been taken down. Ravage whined at his foot. As Soundwave leaned down to pat her, he saw a flash of white pass the edge of his vision. Freezing in mid motion, he did a scan around the area as the white disappeared… Nothing…
Ravage, noticing this, shuddered and huddled against Soundwave for comfort.
Click
Soundwave whirled around to see… nothing…
Tap, tap…
Ravage cowered before running off down the hall. Soundwave was about to follow her, but stayed back to see if it was really Starscream or just nothing. He watched as Ravage disappeared and wondered how Starscream could be here now when he had only just last been sighted in the other side of the ship. Suddenly there was a roaring yowl that echoed throughout the hall… RAVAGE!
Soundwave rushed in the direction that Ravage was last seen… to see her lying on her side in the middle of the hall. Kneeling by her side, he inspected her to see a small piece of metal lodged in the side of her neck. Upon closer inspection, the piece of metal was shaped to form a teardrop, and looked like it had held something inside. He quickly checked over Ravage for damages only to find that there was apparently nothing wrong with her; It seemed as if she were just recharging.
Cycling his vents in relief, Soundwave picked her up and made to stand only to stop and stare at the wall in front of him. Though the ship was naturally dark, the walls were a dark purple, and no one ever cleaned them, he could not mistake the blurry splash of white shown within its dim reflection.
"Greetings, Soundwave~."
A thud was heard throughout the empty hall, followed by evil laughter.
"Now where is that last one~?"
A small shadow wandered through the empty halls, keeping close to the walls and floor as it slowly made its way through to its destination. Squeaking at every distant scream, he quickly shuffled until he reached two large doorways. He sighed in a mix of relief and fear as he entered. The doors closed ominously behind him, with only two words shining in the dull light: Med bay.
Squeaking, the little bat flapped onto a berth and waited. Little Ratbat hadn't been with Soundwave when Starscream had entered the throne room, but was instead in his quarters. He'd been playing when he noticed a feeling of dread coming from his creator and siblings. Not knowing what was wrong, he headed towards Soundwave until he heard Starscream's announcement. Next thing he knew, everyone was being hunted down. On the other side of the ship, cut off from his siblings and his creators, Ratbat had been hiding in a cupboard. As more and more screams ripped through the Nemesis, and his siblings were taken down two by two, Ratbat decided to brave it and listen to Starscream's warning.
Cooing in fear, Ratbat curled into a ball as he heard footsteps heading towards the med bay. Who was it? Was it one of his siblings? Creator? But he couldn't feel them awake. Another Decepticon? Or… Starscream…
The footsteps stopped outside the door before the doors opened to reveal a seeker's shadowy silhouette. "So this is where you've been hiding?"
Squeaking in fear, Ratbat cowered and let out a small nod. "That's good… Nice to know that some will listen to my orders, unlike those other slaggers… but they have been properly punished."
Starscream then chuckled, rubbing his rifle filled with upgrade chips. Ratbat curled into a smaller ball, ready to be shot.
"Time for your upgrade, little Ratbat!"
Megatron was holed up in the throne room, watching on the monitors as one by one, all of his troops were being hunted down and shot by the raging medic, Starscream. He watched in dread as they were all taken down too quickly for his liking. Looking down the list of remaining mechs, he realized in horror that there was only one Decepticon left that Starscream hadn't yet hunted down… Megatron.
Growling, the Decepticon leader knew that Starscream would now be after him. At least he'd made sure that the throne room was now locked and secure. Now all he had to do was wait Starscream out, nothing could interrupt-
"Message from the Autobots."
What? What did those slaggers want now? Didn't they realize he had enough to deal with right now?
"Megatron."
Megatron couldn't help but glare at the Autobot leader—of course he would have such great timing. "Prime, normally I would listen to your blathering talks of peace and love, but right now I have no time!"
Optimus couldn't help but look a little surprised. Normally Megatron would at least wait long enough to see what he wanted before cussing at him. "Megatron, we have come with a request to use the space transport. We are willing to trade-"
Scratch, scratch…
Megatron whirled around, trying to see where the noise was coming from. No one could get in here, right?
Prowl and Redalert exchanged suspicious glances. What was up with Megatron, looking so nervous? "Prime, I have more important things right now than trying to deal with you!"
"…Megatron, is there something wrong?"
Wrong? WRONG? His seeker had gone even more psychotic than usual, and was now acting like that damned Autobot medic! What could Prime possibly know about wrong?
"Nothing you may concern your tiny processors about! There is nothing you can give to make me let you use our-"
Tap, tap…
Megatron froze and turned around again. Did he just hear…? No, it couldn't be that Starscream was out there.
Optimus stared at the panicking Megatron; what was he so scared of? Even his command was now gathering around, watching in interest. "Meg's jumpier then a turbo rabbit right now."
"Hush, Jazz."
Megatron turned on his fusion cannon, and was looking at the shadows suspiciously. He knew he had heard something. Powering it up and moving towards the shadows, he was about to fire until… The small shadow let out a large 'squeak!' and flew away. He watched as the thing landed on top of his throne to reveal Ratbat, the small cassetticon. He cycled his vents before returning to the screen.
"Lil' Scared of a lil' bat, Megaslagger?"
"Quiet, Ironhide."
Megatron growled at the screen. Great, he was making a fool out of himself in front of the Autobots. He took one last look at the cassetticon and turned to the screen, powering down his fusion cannon. "Look here, you pit spawn. I, the mighty Megatron, am afraid of nothing. There is nothing happening here that you need concern yourselves over. And I repeat: you have nothing of interest that will lead me to even consider letting you use our space transport!"
Megatron did not notice the second shadow moving towards him from behind. "You will just have to go back to losing battles and protecting those weak fleshies. I didn't know you could be so desperate over there, Prime—begging to use out space transport? My, my, my, you are getting weak, Prime…."
As Megatron continued to rant, he did not notice that the Autobots were slowly no longer looking at him, but at something behind him. Some were even doing double takes, looking at Ratchet, and then again at the screen. Only after another few astroseconds, when Megatron saw Optimus' optics go wide, did he stop. Frozen and tense, Megatron finally sensed that there was another heinous presence standing right behind him.
"Hello, Commander~!" An unmistakably screechy voice lilted with menacing glee.
Whirling around and powering up his fusion cannon, Megatron only had time to stare at the rifle pointed directly at his chest. The last thing he saw was Starscream's grinning face before a large 'BANG' came from the rifle, and darkness overtook him.
"MEGATRON!" Optimus barked in shock, and moved closer to the screen, to see if his arch nemesis had really been offlined.
"Oh, so dramatic, Prime~."
As the seeker finally stepped into full view, the Autobots couldn't help but gasp at Starscream. Why did he look like… like Ratchet?
"…S-Starscream?" Optimus finally found his voice after a long, uncertain pause.
"Medic Starscream, to you!" The seeker pointed in a grandiose pose at the screen.
Prowl looked to be on the verge of crashing, while the others only gawped in shock. Even Ratchet didn't know what to think.
"…Medic… Starscream…" Prime said evenly, after a longer pause.
"Something wrong, Optimus? My, my, do I need to look at your processors too?" Chuckled Starscream. "My righteous Commander is alright—just an internal firewall upgrade. Normally it wouldn't be so painful, but as you know, Ratchet, they never come willingly."
"…I don't know whether to feel flattered or deeply disgusted," murmured Ratchet, staring at the strange device in Starscream's hands. "What exactly is that thing?"
"This? My own invention, of course. It's a rifle that is able to administer processor upgrades by forcibly entering the chip into the mech. The information then goes up to the processors, and upgrades them. Though the side affect is pain, but that will teach them to avoid medical appointments." Starscream chuckled airily while scratching a purring Ratbat under the chin as the cassetticon had seen it was safe to approach, now. "Though if they are willing, you could just use the handheld ones, and insert the upgrades painlessly, directly into the processor."
"…Can… Can I get the schematics for it?" The other Autobots stared at Ratchet in horror.
"…Of course! You always need to help a fellow medic," chirped Starscream.
"We have to go!" Jazz made a dramatic leap to cut the transmission.
Starscream stared at the now black screen before shrugging. "Oh well, looks like my job is done for the day. Let's leave these bots to their rest while we go get some energon. You definitely deserve some for helping me get in, little Ratbat~," the seeker purred.
Ratbat chirped in agreement as he rode Starscream to the rec room. Ratbat did not see what was so bad about processor upgrades… when he was willing.
Megatron groaned as he lay on his berth. Apparently it was not only painful getting shot with that rifle, but it made one wake up with a huge processor ache. The Nemesis had never been so quiet before, and for that he thanked Primus.
The only noises in the ship were a happily squeaking Ratbat, he was elated and excited since now he could play with all the toys without having to share with his incapacitated siblings, and the seeker command trine quietly talking.
"I don't think it's ever been this quiet."
"I think you're right, TC."
"Starscream, are you done with all this acting yet?"
Both seekers looked over to the, once again, red seeker, who was typing something onto some datapads.
"Over? You think that this is over?" The two seekers cowered at the crazed, plotting look Starscream gave them. "Not by a long shot!"
"Wow, Ratchet. What's that?" Wheeljack curiously stepped into the medbay, and walked over to inspect Ratchet's new device. Though Ratchet was responsible for helping Wheeljack add the final touches to many of his inventions, it was rare to see the Chief Medical Officer working on a project on his own. "…I didn't know you made weapons."
"No, it's not a weapon, Wheeljack," replied Ratchet, who was in a strangely good mood, as he clicked the last pieces together.
"Oh? Sure looks like one." The Chief of Engineering scratched his head innocently, looking at the device in confusion. "Then what is it?"
"Hmmm? Oh… just a little something a… fellow medic taught me." Ratchet smiled wickedly, and Wheeljack was delightfully oblivious.
"Oh! That's good then. I coulda swore it was a—err, rifle or something." The engineer finished as his uniquely emotive audios flashed a pleasant yellow.
Wheeljack then merrily resumed his trek back to his lab, innocently humming to himself as Ratchet chuckled evilly at his retreating figure. "Or something…."