CHAPTER 14: Match-Making
"So what are we gonna do?"
"I don't know, Teaz, what do you think?"
"Oi dunno, either," sighed Rumpelteazer with a roll of her eyes. "That's whoiy Oi asked yoo. 'Ave yoo got any oideas, Electra?"
The kitten in question shook her head. "No."
The group sat in profound silence for a while, which Rumpelteazer finally broke by shouting, "Oi've got it!" She jumped up excitedly.
"What?" queried Etcetera.
"Misto is s'posed ta teach 'er dancin' Saturdoiy noight, correct?"
Mistoffelees nodded.
"Well, yer not goin' ta." She beamed.
Mistoffelees cocked his head in confusion. "I'm not?"
"No."
"How is that supposed to solve anything?" Electra piped up quietly.
"Jerrie will teach 'er instead."
"Ha! I'd love to see that!" Etcetera squealed, erupting into giggles.
Rumpelteazer just glared at the younger queen.
"How are you going to explain that to Tatiana?" Mistoffelees asked.
"You're gonna be sick."
Mistoffelees sighed. "Then what am I to do all evening?"
"Oh, don't worry 'bout that. We'll fix ya up with Jem."
Mistoffelees blushed under his fur. "You – you will?"
Rumpelteazer nodded.
"Oh, thanks," said Mistoffelees quietly but gratefully.
"How are we going to get Mungo to agree to it, though?" asked Etcetera, having settled down.
"Easy."
At that moment, the tom in question happened to stroll past.
Rumpelteazer waved wildly to her brother. "'Ey, Jerrie, come over 'ere!"
Mungojerrie complied. "What is it, Teaz?"
"We wanna fix ya up with Tats."
All of the cats sitting together nodded their agreement.
Mungojerrie looked at them warily. "Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah." Rumpelteazer quickly explained her plan to him.
"But yer match-moikin' plans orlwoiys foil," Mungojerrie pointed out unenthusiastically.
"They do not!" cried Rumpelteazer indignantly.
"What about the toime ya troied to separate Coricopat from Tantomile and match 'im with Bombalurina? Or the toime ya troied to match 'im with poor Electra?"
Electra shuddered at the memory, but Rumpelteazer just grinned.
"Well, moiybe those plans weren't too good," she admitted, "but –"
"They was foilures," Mungojerrie maintained.
"Oh, orlroight, then, they was foilures. But this one's gonna work. Trust me."
"It's my policy ta never trust anyone 'oo says that," Mungojerrie said staunchly. "Especially yoo, Teazer."
"What's that s'posed ta mean?" Rumpelteazer demanded.
"Yoo know exactly what Oi mean."
"Mungo, if you really like her that much, surely you wouldn't pass up an opportunity to tell her so?" Mistoffelees asked.
Mungojerrie faltered. "Well…Oi dunno…Oi wouldn't pass up toime ta be alone wif 'er, but ta tell 'er…?"
"It might be your only chance," Mistoffelees persisted.
"Well…woit, whoiy are ya so interested in moiy feelin's?" Mungojerrie gazed suspiciously around the group.
"'Cause we are," Rumpelteazer jumped in. "Now, are ya gonna do it or not?"
Mungojerrie paused. "Foine, Oi will," he finally relented with a sigh. "Thankyou, Teazer."
"Good." Rumpelteazer beamed. She turned to Mistoffelees. "Now fer yoo 'n' Jem."
On Saturday, word passed around to Tatiana that Mistoffelees had been taken ill and would be unable to teach her that night. Mungojerrie noticed her disappointment and subtly put Rumpelteazer's plan in action.
"Oi'll toike ya tonoight," he offered.
"Are you sure? I mean, I can skip one lesson."
"Oi'd loike ta toike ya. Oi moight not be as good a dancer as Misto, but Oi can dance." He grinned.
Tatiana was blushing furiously beneath her fur. "Well…if you're sure…" Her eyes focussed on the ground.
"Oi'd enjoiy it," he said firmly.
And so, that night, Mungojerrie escorted Tatiana to the cave for a dancing lesson. Much to Tatiana's amusement, Mungojerrie ended up singing the music, which caused him to become quite breathless; therefore, the two often had to take breaks in order for Mungojerrie to get his breath back.
After the first two dances, Mungojerrie stepped back. "Wow, Oi'm impressed," he said. "'Ow long 'ave ya bin learnin' fer now?"
"Um, about six or seven weeks, I think."
"Yer a quick learner."
The two hours passed far too quickly for both of the cats, and they soon found themselves dancing one last waltz. As Mungojerrie's voice faded off the last note, they gazed deeply into each other's eyes.
"Gosh, you're beautiful," whispered Mungojerrie as he stared at Tatiana's upturned face, his chest pressed close to hers. He let his paws run up her hips and waist. He slowly leaned down, and Tatiana did not flinch away. Mungojerrie tenderly pressed his lips to hers, kissing her sweetly. When he finally pulled away, he smiled at her dazed expression. He drew her close to him and ran his claws through her soft headfur. "Tatiana…Oi love ya."
"I love you, too," Tatiana found herself saying, clinging tightly to the tom.
"Really?" Mungojerrie pulled back slightly and studied her face.
She nodded. "Really and truly."
Mungojerrie kissed her again, and, this time, Tatiana responded, the kiss beginning to intensify.
On the other side of the junkyard, Mistoffelees was sharing a picnic-style evening meal with his love, Jemima. He gazed at her as the moon shone down on her, illuminating her lithe figure and her beautifully-crafted facial features. In fact, he couldn't help staring. Fortunately for him, Jemima didn't notice.
"Jemima?"
"Yes, Misto?"
"I…I don't know how to tell you this…" – he gave a nervous laugh – "…but…I love you, Jemima."
The queenkit was suddenly very still, making Mistoffelees even more nervous.
"Please say something, Jemi."
"I…" Jemima turned and looked into his eyes. "Oh, Misto, I… That's very sweet of you, but…"
"But you don't return my feelings?"
"I'm so sorry, Misto," Jemima whispered.
"I understand," Mistoffelees said, trying to keep his emotions in check. "Is it Tumblebrutus?"
Jemima nodded miserably. "He doesn't even know I exist, but... I'm sorry, Misto."
"You can stop apologizing, Jemi. If anything, I should be apologizing to you."
"But you must be hurt. I mean –"
"Yes, I am a bit, but that's not your fault. I guess no-one really has any control over their feelings, have they?" he said quietly.
Jemima gently took his paw and stroked his face. "I think you're very sweet, and talented, and good-looking, but…I just can't help but love him."
"He'd be very lucky to have you."
After a few minutes' silence, Jemima spoke again. "Come on, let's not let our feelings get in the way of a pleasant evening. Why don't we go for a walk?"
Mistoffelees gave a small smile and nodded his consent.
Meanwhile, Victoria and Etcetera were sitting together in the pipe. Electra, being of darker colouring, and therefore perfect for camouflage, had been sent to see how things were going with Mungojerrie and Tatiana, whilst Rumpelteazer had elected herself to do the same with Mistoffelees and Jemima. Electra, at first, had balked at the idea of spying on their friends.
"It ain't spoiyin', 'xac'ly," Rumpelteazer had insisted. "We jes' wanna know 'ow they're gettin' on, see?"
After running out of quiet protests, Electra had finally agreed.
Victoria's ears perked up at the sound of rustling outside the pipe. "Is that you, Electra?" she whispered.
"No, it's me." Rumpelteazer crept into the pipe as she announced herself.
"Well? What's happening?" whispered Etcetera excitedly.
"Let's jes' woit fer Electra, shall we? Then we can share our news so that everyone can 'ear."
"Okay," Etcetera agreed with a groan.
Soon after, however, Electra joined them.
"Well? Can you tell us now?" demanded Etcetera impatiently.
"Electra first," Rumpelteazer nominated her friend.
"They're doing just fine."
"Is that it? 'Ow do ya know they're 'doin' jes' foine'?"
Electra grinned. "I saw them kissing. Is that enough evidence for you?"
Etcetera squealed in delight, causing Rumpelteazer, who was very excited and pleased herself, to have to stuff her own tail in Etcetera's mouth with a "shhh".
Victoria turned to Rumpelteazer. "What about Jemi and Misto?"
Rumpelteazer sighed. "Not so good, Oi'm afroid," she admitted ruefully.
"Why, what happened?" asked Electra curiously.
"Well, from what Oi could moike out, Misto told 'er that 'e loves 'er, but she loves someone else."
"Who?" asked Etcetera breathlessly.
"Oi'm 'urt ta think that yoo would think that Oi would disrespect someone else's proivacy and eavesdrop jes' ta foind out some information that Oi shouldn't really be privy ta," Rumpelteazer said in a hurt voice.
"I-I'm sorry, Teazer, I – sorry," Etcetera apologized in confusion.
"'Owever," went on Rumpelteazer mysteriously, "Oi did 'appen ta 'ear a noime mentioned…" She gazed around at the three to make sure she had everyone's attention. "Jemima loves…Tumblebrutus."
"No way!" Etcetera squealed.
"Uh-'uh." Rumpelteazer nodded matter-of-factly.
"Oh." Electra looked down at her paws. "And he likes her, too," she said quietly.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Electra," Victoria said sympathetically, hugging her young friend.
"Can't be helped," sniffed Electra.