Disclaimer: I don't own IPS or any of the characters.
Warning: Rated M for character death, adult themes, and angst. If those will upset you, don't read.
Author's Note: There are either two or three more chapters after this. Three, I think. I was saying three more as of last update, but now I think I need one more. Read on, and thank you for following this story.
8.
A picture of the three of them did not exist; they hadn't had that chance, just one of so many opportunities denied them. So Marshall mentioned to Brandi one day while she held her three-month-old niece, an offhand comment born of a melancholy he felt constantly but rarely expressed to others. She had looked up at him then, her huge round eyes causing her to bear a strong resemblance to an animal caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck.
At first Marshall thought he'd inadvertently reopened the never-to-be-healed wound of her sister's death with his careless remark. He was about to apologize when he realized there was something more to it; he saw in Brandi's face that she was deciding something. After a moment her mouth compressed to a thin line, and she gave a slight nod as though agreeing with herself.
"Here, Marshall, take her for a minute," she said quietly, and he allowed her to transfer his daughter back to his arms.
He regarded her curiously, for she rarely surrendered her beloved niece without prompting; he believed her devotion stemmed both from a love for her sister's child and from a need to pay back the favor Mary had done in raising her when they were young. Now she was rummaging through a shoulder bag she used for school, and he watched as she pulled out a manila envelope which had been tucked carefully in the back of her notebook. She set it on the table and held her arms out for Shannon.
"That thing you said about there not being a photo of all of you," she spoke again, cradling her niece once more as Marshall reached for the envelope, "well, that's not exactly true."
He lifted the flap and peered into the envelope, finding the edge of a photograph there. As he drew it out and realized what it was, his throat clenched; he thought his heart might even have stopped beating for a second. There she was, his Mary, her tank top drawn up, exposing her round, pregnant belly. Her hair glowed in sunlight, and she was smiling down at him as he looked up at her in awe, his hands pressed to her flesh as he felt their child kicking. It hadn't been the first time, but Shannon had really been going to town that day, and feeling her move within Mary's body had never lost its fascination.
"It was that day we were all hanging out for Peter's birthday, do you remember?" Brandi asked, and Marshall nodded. "I don't think either of you even noticed when I took that. I was going to frame it and give it to you when Shannon was born but… it just didn't seem right at the time…"
Marshall nodded again as she trailed off. Nothing about the event of Shannon's birth had gone as planned; he hadn't expected to find himself a single parent, that was for sure.
"Anyway, she was getting really big by then," Brandi pointed out, "so all three of you are pretty clearly in the picture. I know it's not what you meant, but… well, it's all I have."
"It's perfect, Brandi," he murmured reassuringly, letting his fingers hover over the smiling image of Mary on the glossy eight-by-ten photo paper. It was as perfect as he was ever going to have, anyway; he set the sheet back on the coffee table and wiped away a few stray tears that had escaped. Turning to Brandi, he smiled faintly. "Thank you."
Brandi nodded vigorously, any reply trapped in her throat by the renewed sense of loss welling within her. Marshall put a hand on her shoulder kindly, and watched as she mouthed I'm sorry.
"It's okay," he replied. "I don't think a day goes by where it doesn't hit me all over again at least once. There are days when I can't even imagine how I'm going to do this without her. I don't know how to be a mom and a dad put together."
"You know," Brandi choked out, "I don't really know how to be an aunt. I was expecting Mary to help me with that."
"You have a funny way of showing it," he laughed softly as he fought back tears again. "You're really good at it."
"I just think of how Mary was with me when I was growing up," she replied. "I'm not being an aunt… I'm being a big sister. You should just ask yourself what Mary would do."
"Would you tell me about her, back then?" he asked hesitantly. "She didn't talk about it much, and I hardly know anything."
"Okay," Brandi said, smiling through her tears. "I'll tell you and Shannon everything."