Oh, wow, I just know people are going to hate Sophie after this. Poor Sophie.
Revelations
I walked back into the garage with the full intention of telling Krone about how I thought Josh was complete and utter idiot. I mean the nerve of him! Not only does he try to talk to me in a cryptic language, he also expected me to understand him and completely forget about Krone!
The only thing that stopped me from venting out my frustration was the sight of Krone looking as angry as I felt. If there's one thing I'd readily admit, it's that I don't like my Yautja not being happy.
"Krone?" I walked up to him, "You okay?"
"What did he say?"
"Well…nothing really, he was just being a jerk…"
"Did he mistreat you?"
"No, no, no! Nothing like that…" I didn't want him throwing Josh into walls again… "He was just…asking me to stay away from you."
"He has no right to ask you that."
"I know, that's why I politely told him to F off."
"You shouldn't have been polite…"
I half smiled.
"I don't like the way he treats you."
"Neither do I, but that's just how things are," I laid my back against the ship.
"Why do you tolerate him?"
I shrugged, "He's my brother."
He didn't seemed impressed.
I took a deep breath for myself, "I'd like to think that one day we'll get along and laugh about how we used to be up each others faces…" I admitted before I lowed my eyes, "but if it's not like that then…I guess that's how it's gonna be…I can't change that," I almost sighed.
I've never told anyone this and I myself have never bothered to think about how me and Josh would be like in the future. Like I just said, it'd be really cool if one day when we see each other and not start to bark at each other.
"Josh can be the world's biggest a-hole, and I can be angry at him, but I don't think I can rightfully say that I hate him," I finished, "we're family after all."
We didn't say anything.
Josh is a lot of things…but he's my big brother in the end.
Krone sat down, the numbing in my legs made me do likewise.
"You won't do what he says, will you?"
"Of course not," I nudge his arm, "I promised, remember?"
Krone gave a tiny smile, "Yes…you did."
"So I'm never ever gonna stay away from you, got it?"
He nodded.
"Good."
I rested my head on his shoulder. He always felt so warm.
"I've always wondered what it must be like."
I looked up at him, it's just like what he when I was helping him with his ship. I wanted to ask what he meant but he didn't answer me the last time…
He seemed to notice my disposition, Krone looked down at me with his hazel eyes, "To have a family."
My eyes widened.
"A real family," He looked ahead with bitterness, "not twenty plus brothers I don't care about, a dead father, and a mother who still mates with whoever she sees fit."
I stayed silent. "Memories, closure, affection. I've always wanted that."
Krone narrowed his eyes at the floor, "I'm an honored blood, those things shouldn't matter to me. But they do. There are so many things that I hate about my kind. Sometimes I think of my title as see it as hollow and meaningless."
As I heard him in noticed how he clenched his fists, like he's been hiding all these feelings and thoughts inside for a long time, "I'm praise, but for what? I feel nothing, I take no pride in what other would literally kill for. To think these things is blasphemy, sinful even, to my people. I, being honored, am a sort of example, and I shouldn't be having these ideas."
Krone looked at me, "But with you Sophie, it's different. I do think all of that, I can tell you what I believe, confine in you everything that would have me maimed back home."
My heart skipped a beat.
"I like being able to be honest, I like showing you what I feel, what I think, telling you things, sharing everything with you."
"I feel as if you have given me everything I want," He stroked my cheek with his talon, the simple touch made my skin heat up. "All I ever wanted."
I let out a soft, shaky breath, not sure being sure why I did.
"When I'm with you I laugh, I feel, I am myself, not some fake, egotistical alpha-male that's always ready for a fight. You've set free my soul."
He turned to me, his eyes looking like fire causing the beat of my heart to soar, "You have shown me my sought after affection, my trust, the sense of meaning I needed. One that didn't involve playing warrior of the year. With you I feel like I can do anything."
Hearing Krone say all these things…saying that it was all because of me…saying that…
"Sophie…you are…the most important things in my life, my everything, you are my world, and I…" I gasped lightly as Krone took hold of both sides of my face and press his forehead on mine. I closed my eyes, never feeling as close to him as I did right now.
"Kch-tanu Kch-ge'kote Pa'ya-te"
I felt confused, and out of breath, but still, Krone sounded so sure so intense, that…I don't' know, I never felt it before. I just…"w-What…does that….mean?"
"I give you the honor of my soul's heart"
"Oh…"
I don't remember placing my hands on his chest, or almost closing my eyes again, or feeling like I was in a dream because Krone was so close to me that all I kept thinking about was how he made everything about me better. I'm not sure I realized how much I was burning, how warm I felt having him so close, how I wasn't really thinking about anything because I was to caught up in the moment. A moment I didn't fully understand. But that didn't matter because Krone was there and I felt safe and cared for, because with Krone I was happy. With him I felt that…
Purring.
I heard purring, which reminded me of all the other times, times with Krone. We were always close when I heard it, weren't we? It relaxed me…it was nice…it made me move closer to him with me noticing, or maybe he came closer to me, I'm not sure. It was strange, usually the purring just stops, but not this time, it just gets louder…and I feel a soft rumbling in Krone's chest, right where my hands are, the vibrations go through my body…I felt like I was being lulled to sleep. But was that because…?
"Krone…are you…purring?"
He didn't answer, but he got closer.
"Krone?"
I felt his talons suddenly rest on my thigh, but there's no way that's true, right? I look down and I saw his claws there.
Maybe he just misplaced it.
Then he started to rub, holy-Krone hovered above my cheek, and then he began to trail down to my neck. My heart started beating fast and I didn't understand what was going on.
"k-Krone…"
His hand started to move more up along my thigh, I almost couldn't breathe, I felt hot and confused. Why was Krone…?
Meanwhile I felt his tusks trail further down my neck. He just kept on going down, I didn't know what was happening. I wasn't sure what to do. It was like I couldn't to anything, like Krone had all sorts of power over me. I was scared.
"Krone…!"
I pushed him away at arms length, "What do you think your doing?"
He just stared at me, I saw that his eyes looked dilated. I was panting and expecting him to answer, instead he just looked confused.
"I don't understand…"
"Well, that makes two of us!"
I mean, what was he thinking? He was acting like…like…I don't know! It just wasn't Krone!
"Sophie…"
"Yeah?" he still wasn't answering me!
"I…"
I didn't care if I had to wait until the hours of the night, I was going to get my answer. I crossed my arms and stared at him like a mother would a disobedient son.
"I'm sorry…"
"That's a start…"
"I realize this isn't the most romantic scene you've ever dreamed of…"
"Okay-wait, what?" w-what was he saying?
"I just got…overexcited, I didn't mean to-"
"What's this about romance?"
"I said I was sorry, I don't mean for you to think that I'm about to take you in your garage…"
"Take me where?"
He didn't say anything.
"Krone!"
"I'm sorry, you deserve better than floor-"
"I don't understand what your saying!"
"Sophie…"
"What?"
"I'm pretty sure you ought to…"
"Krone, your making me sound and feel like an idiot! Just tell me what your talking about!"
"You…and…me…"
"Wh-" I gasped.
Holy fucking shit.
T-there's no way that…that…no…I mean…Krone…oh my…and he…why was…why…?
"Sophie?"
I forgot how to speak. And breathe.
"Sophie, are you okay? You look-" he lifted his hand to my face and I flinched.
Krone looked like he was frozen. "…S-Sophie…what's the matter?"
I don't know.
I don't know, I don't know!
"Sophie-"
"Why-why would you even think that?" I blurted out, "I-I mean…I just…Jesus, Krone, what kind of joke is that anyway!"
"It's not."
"What? Don't-don't even say that! What are you talking about! Of course it is!"
"Sophie-"
"I don't-just don't say things like that!"
"Why not?"
"Why not? Because! Because…it…it sounds…not right, okay!"
"Why shouldn't it be, we-"
"Krone, of course it doesn't sound right!" I buried my face into my hands, nothing made sense for Christ's sake! I pulled my hair back, "Jesus!"
"Sophie…" he extended his arm to me again.
"No, Krone!" I pulled away and stood up, "don't do that! Just…"
I started to walk the other way.
"Sophie."
I couldn't build the words fast enough in my head to say anything.
"Sophie!" he turned me around, "Look at me."
I tried to. It was just…looking into his hazel eyes right now…it just confused me more! I sighed and looked away.
"…What's wrong, Sophie?"
"…I…I don't…know," oh, god, what's wrong with me. This is Krone, my best friend, Jesus… I closed my eyes, wanting to shut off the world, "I think I'm going to bed…I'm just really tired…"
I started to move again but Krone held me in place.
"Krone…" I really need to get to bed.
He stroked my hair, and I know he was just trying to relax me, to make me feel better, but it just made me more tired. I didn't look up.
"Sophie…"
"I just wanna go to bed Krone…"
Now his hand was on the back of my neck, he lifted my head up a little.
"Krone…"
"Tell me what's wrong, Sophie." he sounded so desperate that it hurt, "Please, if I've done something then…"
"You didn't do anything, Krone, just let me go okay?"
"Why do you make it sound like I'm never going to see you again…"
That struck a chord.
It sent me thinking, I had just came back in Krone's spaceship, a now working spaceship. One he could take and go back home to his planet…
"I don't know…" I said barely having the strength to look him in the eye, "because…you're not?"
His grip on me lessened.
"You're going back home, Krone…"
Why was I saying these things? Why was I making him feel bad? Why was…
"You're not going to…stick around for me…aren't you?"
Stop saying that! You said you weren't going to break! Stop it!
"I…I'm sorry," I let me head drop, "see? I really am tired, I shouldn't be…"
"Sophie."
"We'll talk tomorrow, I'm-"
"Don't…"
I tried not to cry.
"I forgot."
Of course you did.
"I'm sorry."
I know.
"I was being insensitive, I didn't mean…I didn't mean to…I'm sorry, Sophie, forgive me."
"It's fine, Krone, really. I mean, we already talked about this right?"
"It's different now."
"How's that?"
"Sophie, don't be that way…"
"It's okay, I get it, you want to go back, I'm not mad at you for that," I'm just losing my best friend is all, "it doesn't even matter."
"Of course it does."
"No it doesn't."
"Don't say things like that…Sophie…I'll do anything to make this better, believe me."
"You don't have to."
"Yes I do."
I shook my head, my throat hurt, I don't want to be here anymore.
"Sophie-"
"I wasn't supposed to do this!" I cried, "I wasn't supposed to…supposed to make you feel bad…!" I'm not supposed to be crying, I have no reason to, I wiped away my tears, feel ashamed of myself, mad at myself, "I'm so stupid…"
"No you're not,"
I tried running.
"Sophie!"
He stopped me.
"Let go, Krone…"
"I will not," he made it sound like an order for me to stay, "I'm sorry," his voice was soft again, it's always soft when he's talking to me, "I feel horrible, I didn't mean for you to…to bear this inside of you."
"Doesn't really matter…you're still gonna leave Krone…"
He is going to leave, he's leaving and I can't pretend that I can stop that.
"So just…" I have to try to fix this, "forget I said anything and-"
"No."
"Krone, really-"
"Sophie-"
"Don't-"
"Come with me."
I stopped.
"…What?"
Of course he didn't say that. I'm gong crazy, I'm off my freakin rocker.
"Come with me," he is saying it, and he looks so earnest and sure of what he's saying that I don't know what I feel because of it. My heart feels light but my stomach feels sick and my mind just won't help out at all," you don't like it here, we can-"
"Krone are you crazy?" I shout it, I don't want to but I do. Is that bad? Is it good? It doesn't feel good, why is…
"But-"
"I can't go with you to space! Let alone your home planet! What are you thinking?" what is he thinking? I can't go with him! I just can't! Not even if…
Do I want to?
I feel dizzy, I don't like this, Krone…
"Why can't you? There's nothing for you here, you have no one, you've told me so, I'm the only person you're close with."
"But that doesn't mean that-"
"Yes it does. You said so yourself that you were miserable here, that you hated it. What's keeping you from leaving with me?"
"My parents, my family-!"
"Your brother could care less about you-"
"It's not like that!"
"It's not? Sophie, he almost struck you!"
"That was one time and he was pissed-"
"And whose to say he won't be in the future?"
"Krone, don't say stuff like that!"
"It's the truth"
"Krone! He's my brother, okay? He's family and he means well but-"
"He can't stand the sight of you with me."
"I know, but he's just trying to protect me-!"
"From what? Sophie, I would never harm you-"
"I know."
"-he's just trying to make you unhappy!"
"That's not it either!"
"Sophie, you are a kind person, but some people don't deserve mercy-"
"Josh isn't one of those people and I don't want to hear anything else about it!"
"What about your parents? They left you-"
"They're on a freaking business trip!" why is he making this so hard!
"And they left you with him."
"Krone, I said I didn't want to hear another word about it!" god, why was this happening? "Why are you even asking this of me?"
"Because I don't want to leave you, I can't stand the thought of being without you, knowing I won't be able to see your face causes me pain, it hurts you, I can't have that, I don't want that Sophie."
Krone…
"I love you."
Time stopped.
Did he just…
Krone…
My heart stopped beating, I stared into his eyes trying to understand that he didn't say that and that I was just way to tired and it just couldn't be possible that he…that Krone…that…
"What?"
He stroked my hair, I almost don't feel it because I'm frozen stiff, "I love you, Sophie, you know that."
I shook my head. No way, I had to be dreaming, no, there's no way. "No you don't."
"Sophie-"
"Don't! You don't love me Krone!"
"Yes I do!"
"No you don't!"
"Sophie-!"
"No! You don't even know what your talking about! D-don't joke that way!"
"I'm not joking, Sophie, I mean it!"
"Krone-"
"I would never joke about something like this! I love you, I've fallen in love with you!"
"You can't expect me to believe that-"
"Is that what's wrong? That you don't believe that I return your feelings for me?"
"…What?"
"Sophie, I swear to you, you have nothing to fear, I am just as in love with you as you are with me."
I'm having trouble breathing, "I…I don't understand…why…how do you…"
"It's okay, Sophie, everything is."
"No it's not! I-I don't understand what your trying to say! Krone, I don't…"
"Yes you do."
"Stop that! I don't. Your talking…crazy, it's not making sense, it's not making any sense!"
"How can you say that when it was you who said so!"
"Said what? Krone, I didn't say anything!"
"You told me that you loved me, just now you said so!"
"What are you-"
Oh my god.
Oh my god, oh my god.
I said…
I said that…
Oh my god, I told Krone that I loved him!
"No…Krone…I…"
"You said that you loved me right after we landed."
But I…
"Sophie…" He leaned in on me.
"No, Krone," I pushed him away, "I didn't mean it that way!"
He stopped.
The look on his face made something in me break.
"Sophie…why…" I didn't want Krone to look so hurt, so confused, "why are you acting this way, don't say those things," why am I so scared of him? He lifted his hand again, "look-"
"No Krone! Stop it!"
Why does it hurt? Why does it hurt? "I…I didn't mean it that way-"
"Yes you did!"
"No Krone, I didn't, we're friends. I love you as a friend, but I don't-"
"No, don't Sophie, you're tired, you don't know what-"
"Krone, I don't like you that way, I mean…I…just…"
"See? You can't even say it. You know you're in love with me and-"
"Krone, don't! God… just don't!"
"Sophie…you love me, I know that you do, I can feel it, I feel that you do."
"You can't feel that Krone, I just…I can't do this right now! Things aren't like that between you and me!"
"Then deny it. Tell me right now that you don't love me!'
Krone…
I couldn't. I just couldn't. I didn't have it in me. I was scared. I was tired. I didn't want to say it but I also didn't have a reason why. I just wanted to cry. I looked up at him, I can't, I can't say that. It's not fair. What did that mean? What did I feel? What does he even want me to say? Will I even mean it? I can't say anything! Why can't I answer him? I'm just so confused. Krone. Why are you doing this to me?
No…
I don't want…
I can't…
Krone…
You're supposed to make it better…
You always make it better…
I can't do this, I don't want to do this!
Krone!
I ran.
Krone didn't stop me.
I'm not sure if I wanted him to.
000
The bright side is that this chapter was super omega long! =D
What…? No? not feelin it? Yeah, I thought as much…