I'M SO SUPER OMEGA SORRY!
I swear times the infinity of whatever it is you highly respect that I did NOT intend for this to take so long to upload!
School isn't so much a problem as it is some lazy brothers of mine insist on using my computer for their gamming needs. I feel like I haven't had any time to myself, I feel absolutely awful and I pray for each and every one of yours merciful forgiveness!
I've been an neglecting mother to my poor story, I'm so sorry GTKAP! It's not true what Wolf says, I love all of you equally!
At least I hope it's worth all the wait…
Oh and, ilovekittens, DOES THIS ANSWER YOUR QUESTION?
Sophie's Miserable Day!
I wish I were dead.
And that's not a joke or figure of speech, I seriously would love it if I were dead right now, someone could have me at gunpoint and I wouldn't mind.
I stayed a good while after Krone had left, staring at the floor and the only real reason I got up was because I couldn't feel my knees anymore. More selfish needs, great. Selfish or no, with barely enough strength I managed to stand up, my knees buckling almost like I was a baby deer learning how to walk. My jeans were stained with grass and dead twig, not that it really mattered.
When I got home it was dark out and I was freezing.
I closed the front door behind me and took painful steps towards the kitchen, my entire body sore and I could only breathe lightly or else my lungs would start to hurt.
"Your back."
It was Josh, he was frowning but I knew he wasn't angry. I looked away, suddenly feeling heavier than before.
"…he's gone…" I said in a tone that reminded me of when I first talked to Krone. My throat hurt.
Josh didn't say anything and I continued my way to the kitchen, I sat down at the table and buried my face into my arms.
I was to tired to cry but the last thing I remember was wanting to.
000
"Hey, Sophie!"
Liz nearly knocked me down as she bumped into me in her usual playful way, "Oops, almost had a nasty fall there…"
I barely remembered getting up this morning. What did I do all day? Does it even matter?
"Hey, what's wrong? You look depressed…"
More like miserable.
"Yo, Sophie," she snapped her fingers in front of my face, "earth to Sophie…"
Who need's earth when I've gone to outer space? I saw the stars with Krone and now he…
"Sophie…?"
I shook my head, realizing that all I've been doing all day was wandering inside my head, "I…I'm fine…Liz…just tired is all…"
"Tired my left foot…Sophie, you can tell me, we're friends right?"
I gave her a skeptical look.
"Okay, so we're not BFF's x2 forever, ever, but…" she shrugged, "we can still talk."
"Is it about that guy you liked?"
Krone…
"Did something happen? Did something-"
"He's gone, Liz, he's gone!"
I cried on her shoulder, letting it all out.
000
"You look dead."
I saw a glass of milk march right up to my face.
"Drink something."
I sat up and stared blankly and the unoffending cup.
Maybe not.
Josh nudged it closer.
I poked it.
He sighed.
"Look-"
The front door opened wide, my breath caught in my throat.
Krone?
"Whew, it is freezing out there!"
"Mom?"
It was her alright, with my dad behind her.
"Hi, kids," Dad put down some of the luggage on the floor, "we're back."
"Damn straight we're back," my mom said strictly, "What? No Welcome Home hug? Kids today…" she shook her head.
Josh took a few steps towards the door and gave her an awkward hug, "Uh…hi mom…how was your trip?"
"We're suing American Airlines."
I nearly choked.
Dad rolled his eyes, "No we're not…"
"You're not, but I'm sure as hell am!"
"Mom…" this is the first time I spoke to them, "how are you going to sue American Airlines…? Why would you do that anyway?"
"Butter and a monkey wrench, long story short."
God, now what has she gotten herself into?
Dad on the other hand reassured me, "Relax, honey, it was just an accident…a very messed up and random accident."
Mom huffed and headed off into the kitchen.
"Anyway, how did you two hold up? You didn't fight non-stop for the past thirty days right? I hope not," she checked out the sink, "oh, looks like you finally fixed it, there's some teamwork…Anything interesting happen while we were away?"
Krone…
Josh answered again, "Um…nah…nothing much, just boring…"
"Oh, good. God, kids, there's so much meat wrappers everywhere! What is this, did you become carnivores for something? It looks like you've been housing a Yautja…"
I got up almost dropping the chair to the floor.
"Sophie-?"
I ran to my room.
000
Curled up in my bed, trying hard not to cry but really just wishing that I don't cry hard enough for mom and dad to hear me.
I want Krone to come back.
I just want him back, I miss him to much, I hate this.
"Sophie."
Go away, Josh…
I hear him walk closer to my bed and pull out my chair, he's most likely sitting on it now and I didn't even give him permission. He hasn't changed one bit, he's always doing whatever the hell he wants!
"Yo, Sophie…"
"Go away."
He was silent but he didn't leave, "…Hey…I know that this is sorta outa charater and all…but…ya wanna talk about it?"
"…What?" Was he retarded?
"Just a suggestion."
"A bad one."
"Look, I know I'm not your favorite person right now-"
"No shit."
"Can you hear me a second?"
Like hell I will, I sat up, "The last time I heard you, I lost my best friend."
"Who happened to be a six foot Yautja."
"So what?"
I clenched my fist into my mattress. I felt like I wanted to hit him, I didn't want to see him, it's all his fault !
Josh took a deep breath, as if he were the one that every right to, "Okay, okay, I gotta a little pissed for a second…" he makes it sound like that excuses everything when it doesn't, "but you gotta understand the position I was in, Sophie…"
I scoffed, "And what position was that?" I doubt he had the worst of everything.
"Good intentions vs. seemingly prince charming."
My shoulders slumped in complete disbelief, "Good intentions, huh?"
"I was just trying to protect you-!"
"From what?"
"Yautja like the ones Zales brought when we were little are no good sorry bastards! They're arrogant and pick on anyone inferior to them! They're bad news, Sophie!"
"Krone is nothing like the Yautja Zales brought with him!" I yelled, pure anger rising to my head, "He was kind and gentle and he understood me and he cared about me!" I started to shake, Krone wasn't here anymore, "He was the best thing that ever happened to me!"
How dare he say those things about him! How dare he! He-he doesn't-
"Looks like me being such a pain to you finally came back a bite me in the ass…"
I stared at him. He looked really sorry but…
"To tell the truth…I was a little jealous."
Was he being serious?
"I mean, sure, I'm a prick and everything…but, damnit, an alien that comes outa nowhere has to show me up and make me feel like the bastard I've always been? That and he had to be Yautja…"
That made me think about something else that I never really understood, "Why do you hate the Yautja so much, Josh?"
"Truth?"
I nodded.
"You know the Yautja Zales brought with him? His bodyguards?"
"Uh-huh," I said. How couldn't I remember? Now those guys where scary…
"Well…they sorta gave me a hard time,"
"They picked on you?"
He sighed, "Yeah, yeah, laugh why dontcha…"
"I'm not gonna laugh, Josh," not exactly funny if you've been picked on yourself, "What did they do?"
"They sorta liked to called me a S'yuit-de."
I gasped, "That's horrible! You were just a kid!"
"Yeah, well, now you see why I think they're all a bunch of pricks," "the pushing and shoving didn't help either."
"…I didn't know…"
"Now you do. And I know that this doesn't justify me going all berserk, but come one, that's some kinda dip shit irony, a Yaujta being all buddy buddy with you…and making me feel bad about treating you bad…And it's not like you helped either. You always like those Yautja! How do you think that made me feel?" he shrugged, "We're brothers after all…not exactly fair to me…"
I was silent, trying to find truth to his logic. On one hand…I could get it, but on the other…well, he was always so mean to me.
"…your own fault…" I grumbled.
He actually let out a laugh, "Yeah, guess it is. Karma sure is a bitch, huh?"
"yeah…"
Now I feel like I'm in limbo. I wish I were still mad at him, being steamed isn't working for me. Here he is telling me that after a lifetime of making my life miserable when finally someone comes along and makes me happy he gets upset because he feels guilty for all his done and because said person happened to be a Yautja. God, know I'm confused, who's the bad guy?
"You may not believe it, but once upon a time we used to get along."
I let out a laugh, "You're right, I don't believe it."
"True story, honest," he said with a kind of smile I've never seen on him, "Remember when you were six? Just before Zales was gonna leave? You ran all around the house sayin 'I'm gonna marry a Yautja, I'm gonna marry a Yautja!' it was the first time I bonked you in the head. I was real mad at you."
"You're my little sister, Soph…" he continued, "the thought of you being with anyone puts me in a bad mood, it's a big brother thing. My job, y'know?"
It's almost exactly what I told Krone…
The thought of Krone killed my anger altogether.
"…Did I really run around the house saying 'I'm going to marry a Yautja'?"
"Yeah."
I almost smiled. Marry a Yaujta, huh? Wow, Sophie…I wondered what Krone would think if I told him that. I guess Karma has it out for both of us.
"You're gonna miss that damn Yautja, aren'tcha?"
I nodded , my throat hurting again.
"Try thinking that he wouldn't want you sad, that way I won't have to worry about you, deal?"
Stupid jerk. I hugged him and choked back a sob, "yeah."
000
I looked out my window, I couldn't help but think about Krone…
I wonder what he's thinking about…how is he…where is he…I wondered if…he was happy…
I got up from my bed and walked toward my window, the same one Krone had to go through when we came back from the woods. I almost smiled at the memory.
That's all I have now…memories.
I sat down beside the windowpane and looked up towards the sky, it was the first time I dared look at the stars. How come they had to look just like they did when Krone was still here? Would I even feel better if they were dull?
I leaned my head on the glass, "Krone what do you want me to do?"
What would he want? He'd want me to happy right?
I sighed, it was gonna be hard trying to be happy without him…he said…that I dissevered to be happy…but I'm only happy with him.
Krone…
"Saying his name won't bring him back, Sophie…" I started blankly out the window.
Thoughts of having to live the rest of my life with out him filled my mind, instead of crying I just felt empty. What's the point really? Even if I cry a river of tears he won't be able to see it…
I decided that I couldn't really get a good look at the stars with my window closed, I got up nonchalantly and lifted the windowpane.
A shooting star passed by.
I wondered if Krone saw it, if maybe, he was looking up at the same sky right now. I was almost surprised that that thought alone seemed to make it better.
Krone has done so many things for me…he's been my everything…
I sat back down and looked up into the sky. All this time I've never let go of the idea of Yautja being out in the galaxy. I've held on to it because I felt like that made me special. Nothing else in the world was good enough or extraordinary. That's why I was always alone, because I didn't think anything else was worth it. And when I finally got that one amazing thing I let it go…
I spent almost all my life alone, stuck in a shell that I created, and when I finally got my wish I didn't know what to do. I just…
The more I got to know him the more lost I became. I forgot about logic, time flew by, nothing else mattered. I thought I had it al figured out. But I was wrong.
I waited for so long for someone to find me, to make me…the real me. Not some sad, depressive little girl, I wanted someone to make me see the real me.
He's everything I want, everything I want to be, he always said all the right things…
And he…
Why don't I feel the same way about him? Why don't I…
I just don't get it.
I remembered the look on his face, the way his voice sounded when he asked me…when he told me to try and deny what I felt about him.
And I ran. I never answered, did I? Not even at the last second…not even when he was leaving. I've said it time and time again, he's my everything…
"I really do love him don't I?"
I looked up at the stars.
"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you that, Krone…."
I'm sorry for a lot of things, aren't I?
I saw one of the stars give off a soft sparkle, as if it were a diamond ring.
He wouldn't want me to be sad…he wouldn't want…
But I need him.
I sighed in defeat.
I'll try, I'll try to be happy like you want me to be Krone, I'll remember what you taught me. I won't ever forget. I can't promise that I won't miss you Krone because I will. I'll miss you a lot, I'll miss you so much some days that I'll cry.
I clenched at my heart.
I'll do it for you.
Only for you, okay?
"I'm not ever, ever gonna forget you Krone and I'm always gonna love you…"
I stared into space and remembered that I didn't make a wish on the shooting star. If I had just one wish in the whole wide world…
I wish…
I closed my eyes and thought of Krone.
I wish…
Wish…
Krone…
000
GAW! I hate writing angst! It makes me all icky and upset…(and I'm already upset that this took so long…)
On a lighter note, I watched a KISS concert some weeks ago! (I'm to young to be listening to kiss…XD) it was through the net, but I still had to wait forever(when they promote a certain time for the concert to start, IT SHOULD START AT THAT TIME, I don't want to listen to bunch of reporters interviewing the cameramen and the photographers and the opening boy band that played before them!)Jeez Louis…
Yeah, I watch concerts promoted through the internet, it makes up for me not being able to go. I saw Weezer over the summer and…who cares, it's off topic…
Angst-didy-angst-angst…on an ON topic note, the next chapter will be sorta special, full details when it comes out, meaning: YOU'LL ACTUALLY HAVE TO READ THE AUTHORS NOTE TO GET IT! EDGAD! O.O D=
So, next chapter notes: read the authors notes(all business no pleasure *sigh* and I know how you all love reading my rants…)
And that's it!
Read and Review! *does KISS tongue thingy* gack! Tongue doesn't go that way…