International Relations:
A/N: Words in bold is from the episode: Season 5 episode 19 "Communication Breakdown". This moment occurs directly after "Communication Breakdown". Also I used both French and Gallic in this chapter and I don't speak either. I used translators. And a lot of the time things get mess up when you translated word for word. I have included the translations throughout the chapter.
"Passez a mon appartement plus tard et je vous montrerez le sens veritable des relations internationals." Jess's seductive words rang through Don's mind as he listened to Danny rattle on about possible names for the unborn Messer. He was happy for his friend, but he wanted to get over to Jess's place and find out exactly what she meant by 'international relations.'
"No, Man, you can't do that," Adam said shaking his hand at Danny's latest suggestion: Cosmo.
"What's wrong with Cosmo?" Danny asked sincerely thinking it would be a good name: Cosmo Messer had a nice ring to it.
"It's great, you know, if you're a superhero," Adam joked.
Don laughed and could not help joining in on the ragging on Danny. "No, what you need is a tough TV cop name." Don suggestion.
"That's right," Hawkes agreed smirking.
"How about Crockett?" Don teased.
"What's wrong with Tubbs?" Hawkes asked.
The three men laughed at their own jokes. Danny sighed and rubbed his brow as he stared harder at his book, Best Boy Names Ever; he was determined to find a name for his son.
"Hey, don't tell me we're still playing the name game?" Mac asked walking into the break room with Stella in tow.
"It's a process," Danny stated.
"Yeah, we've gone from Tom, Dick, and Harry to John, Paul, George, and Ringo," Don taunted. His joke earned him a few chuckles from everyone except Danny who was no longer paying attention; he was more interested in the message from Lindsay.
"Why don't you throw Mac into the mix," Stella laughed tenderly but subtly touching Mac's arm.
"Yeah, Mac into the mix," Adam chuckled making it sound like that was the most ridiculous suggestion so far.
Mac eyed him as he always did. "Yeah it's a great name," Adam said in his awkward tone of voice. "I like your name."
"Nah, Mac's no good," Danny stated. "That was Lindsay"
"She all right?" Stella asked.
"Yeah, she's fine," Danny replied and went to add with the proudest grin on his face. "And so is the baby girl in her tummy."
The gang went into an uproar of cheering and congratulations. "I guess I have to buy a new book," Danny joked after the commotion died down.
"How about you just let Lindsay name her?" Don suggested. "We were kidding, but you were serious about Cosmo."
"My favorite is still Clamenza," Hawkes laughed.
"Clamenza," Stella eyed him. "What did this kid ever do to you?"
"Ha-ha," Danny rolled his eyes.
"Well," Mac said. "I think a celebration is in order, beers at Sully's?"
"Yeah," Danny agreed.
Everyone nodded his or her heads thinking it was a great idea.
"Sorry, Messer," Don replied. "I'll owe you a beer, I've already got plans."
"With your imaginary girl," Hawkes laughed. It had become an inside joke after beers one night. The boys knew he was seeing someone, but because he would not tell them anything about her or let them meet her, Jess had become the imaginary girl.
"She is real," Don insisted.
"Yeah, of course she is," Danny laughed.
Don shook his head; he would just deal with the teasing, he had made a promise to Jess months ago that he wouldn't tell anyone, especially Danny, until she was ready. Plus, hiding it was kind of hot. Don opened his mouth to make a comment to Danny, but before he got a chance Hawkes grabbed his cell from the table. "Hey!" Don exclaimed, "What are you doing?"
"Looking for proof of this mystery girl." Hawkes explained, "She should be in your phone."
Don rolled his eyes and reached for his phone, but Hawkes was expecting him so he was already out of his seat and out of arms reach when Don went for the phone. "Sheldon," Don warned.
"Let's see," Hawkes said going into his contacts and ignoring Don.
"Relax, Flack," Danny said. "Once we have a name, we're be off your back…this is a good thing."
"Girls' names…okay well we have Stella, Lindsay, Brooke, Kylie, Rebecca, and Jess," Hawkes read the names of their co-workers then added, "And Samantha."
"Obviously it's none of them," Danny said. "It's just the girls and his sister."
"Would you two give me my phone back," Don said.
"Oh Leslie," Adam said reading over Sheldon's shoulder.
"Sister-in-law," Danny and Sheldon said together.
Stella and Mac stood back and watched, finding it quite amusing. Of course, they had figured out Don's imaginary girlfriend was indeed Angell. Both being incredibility good at observation: Flack and Angell had been obvious lately. They figured it out. However, it seemed everyone else was oblivious to the pair.
Don went for his phone again, but Danny grabbed it from Sheldon before Don got to it. "Devon," Danny read, "Cecelia, Amanda, Megan, Kristy, Paige, Tiffany, Leah, Erin …don't you ever delete your ex's?"
"Back-up's," Adam guessed.
"No," Hawkes, Flack, and Messer said together.
"You never call an ex," Danny said. "Just messy"
"Especially none of them," Don went on. "Now give me my phone back or I'm going to resort to physical violence."
"Well, I don't see any unrecognizable names; therefore no proof of this alleged girlfriend," Sheldon concluded using air quotes around girlfriend.
"So you can come out with us," Danny pointed out.
Don sighed. "Fine," he gave in. "But give me my phone back."
Danny tossed it back to him. "I'm starting to believe you man…she's not imaginary," Danny smirked, "I'm starting to think you got the blonde doll from lock up."
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Don walked into Jess's apartment later than planned. He had texted her earlier when he got his phone back, explaining that Danny had found out the sex of the baby and had roped him into having a beer so Don would be over after he had one beer. Well one beer turned into two, which turned into three, four, five, and six.
Don felt the sharp pain of guilt as he entered the living room and noticed the tea light candles placed around the room. They were now blown out. Wine glasses rested on the coffee table waiting to be filled. Jess really put a lot of effort into tonight, he thought moving onto the bedroom. The bed was unmade; she had replaced the cotton sheets with the navy silk ones he liked. He chuckled spotting the center piece she had made and placed in the middle of the bed: in a vase, she had what looked like print-out of seven flags glued to popsicle sticks: the Canadian, the Québécoise, New Jersey's, the Irish, the Queen's, New York State's and the American. Each flag representing a part of their heritage. Don walked closer taking in her arts and crafts project. Next to her centerpiece was his favorite black lingerie, wrinkled and discarded. Don assumed Jess got sick of waiting for him and changed into something more comfortable. Then it clicked for him - duh…where was Jess?
"Babe," Don called out leaving the bedroom.
"In here," Jess yelled back.
Bathroom of course, he thought as he headed down the hallway towards her voice.
He turned the knob opening the door. "Baby," he said taking a look around the room. A couple dozen tea light candles dimly lit it and soft soothing music played in the background.
"You're late," Jess said.
Don walked around to the front of the tub and sat on the rim. "I'm sorry. Danny found out he was having a girl, Mac insisted on celebrating…I said I had plans, but those clowns think you're imaginary and plastic so they didn't believe me."
"Tomorrow when the wine wears off, that's going to make sense," Jess replied puzzled. She leaned back, sinking further into the bubbles that were left.
"Long story," Don said leaning in and brushing his lips lightly against hers. He pulled back and began to loosen his tie and unbutton his shirt slipping it off.
"The water is cold and I'm about ready to get out," Jess smirked seeing that he was preparing to join her.
Don shook his head. "No way!" he ordered reaching into the water pulling out the plug letting some of the water out then he turned on the tab refilling it with hot water. "Now I can join you," Don informed her in cocky tone.
"J'ai obtenu l'a couvert," Jess said seductively. (Translation: I got it covered)
"Let's try that in English," Don replied.
"J'étais solitaire," Jess continued in French. He might not understand a word she was saying, but it was so hot just listening to her, he was starting to understand why people said it was the language of love. (*Translation: I was lonely)
"Still don't have a clue what you are saying," Don chuckled then added. "Amhlaidh te." (*Translation: so hot)
Jess put a huge grin on her face; she didn't speak Irish Gallic, but she could make an educated guess about what Don said to her. "Je vous montrerai." She continued the taunting as she reached up from the water to take his hand in hers. The hot water warmed his fingers as they encountered it. Jess placed his hand to her cleavage palm down and slowly guided it down her body; she moved it over to her hip letting his fingers graze over her tattoo, only for a moment, before she directed him lower. Don's fingers scraped against her other hand and a mischievous grin appear on his face as he realized what she was doing in there. (*Translation: I'll show you)
Don paused, torn: should he join her and take over or encourage her? He decided on the latter. "Well, I see you don't need me," Don grinned retrieving his hand from the water and slipping off the side of the tub.
"You're not joining me?" Jess asked confused.
Don positioned himself on his knees on the side of the tub. "Nope, I'm going to let you finish want you started."
"Well, I was sick of waiting for you to come home and do it," Jess bantered. "But you're here now," she added.
"You are on your own," Don declared. He leaned over the tub and planted his lips onto her neck placing kisses there. He continued kissing down to her collarbone and back up to the crook of her neck. Don moved his body in closer to the tub and wrapped his arms around Jess. "Keep going," he whispered into her ear; then, he brought his hands to her breasts. Don started to gently massage her breasts. He rubbed his fingers along her nipples. He lowered his head and brushed his lips lightly against her breasts, sweeping his tongue down from the top of her left breast to her nipple. Now erect he took it in his mouth, licking all around it, and then he began to nibble and suck on it.
"Mmmm," Jess groaned and she pushed her fingers further inside her core picking up the pace. As Jess sped up her actions, Don also intensified his actions on her breast sucking harder and harder eventually biting down on the nipple. With his other hand he grabbed Jess's entire tit, squeezing it hard then he rolled the nipple around in his fingers, twisting it, pinching it.
"Oh mon Dieu," Jess cried out gripping the side of the tub with her free hand. She was close, they both knew it. (*Translation: Oh my god)
Don lifted his head releasing her from his mouth. Don looked up into her eyes. "Ná stad," he instructed as he sat down on the rim of the tub again. He wanted a front row seat for the show. (*Translation: don't stop)
Jess reached out for his hand and pulled it under the water. "Aide," Jess requested. (*Translation: Help)
Picking up on body language and her actions, Don could figure out Jess wanted his help and as much as he wanted to give it to her, this was hotter. Still, he let her guide his fingers to her center and he lightly ran his fingers against her lips. "Donnie, please" she begged.
Don wiggled his hand out of hers and took a hold of the wrist of the hand she was using.
"You're almost there," Don encouraged. Now gripping her wrist, he used his strength to thrust her fingers faster and harder into her, but he never touched her.
"Ahh!" Jess screamed… she was so close.
Don lifted his bum off the tub; without removing his hand from the water, he leaned over her, keeping his other hand on the rim for support he hovered over her. Don gently nibbled on her earlobe. "Cum for me, Jessie; cum hard for me," he whispered into her ear propelling her fingers inside her forcing Jess to reach her climax.
"Fuck, baby," Jess shouted.
Don removed his hand from the water and gave her a smug smile. He then brushed her wet hair away from her face as Jess came down from her high. Jess freed her hand, reached for the plug to let the bathtub drain, and stood getting ready to get out. Don passed her a towel. "So that was not exactly what I meant when I asked you over," Jess replied wrapping the towel around herself.
"Well, I kind of stood you up," Don said. "Which I really am sorry for." His lips collided with hers.
Jess shrugged stepping out of the tub and into his arms. "All is forgiven…you didn't get…"
"Trust me watching you was enough, but…." Don smirked not finishing his sentence.
"But…You have something in mind," Jess stated finishing his thought.
"I was thinking we could go fill those wine glasses and you could slip back into that lingerie then you could show me the true meaning of international relations," Don laughed.