Cross-Species Thanksgiving
("What's the big deal about football?")

"What's the big deal about...football? Did the translator catch that right?"

"Yeah, caught it just fine," Dylan sighed. He could not believe he'd been roped into this.

Snuggling up to his other side on the couch, Joker balanced a huge bowl of popcorn in his other arm. "Football, Garrus," Joker began explaining, popping a single piece of popcorn into his mouth with far too much drama, "Is a competition between the manliest of men to decide who the manliest is." Pausing as the door into the observation lounge opened, Joker soon added, "That may sound redundant, but trust me, it makes sense."

"If you say so," Garrus answered. He straightened his back against the couch.

"And he will say so," Dylan groaned. "A lot."

Walking around the couch balancing more than one plate of food and a few things sealed in tupperware, Kasumi smirked, her look unseen through the side of her hood as she sat down on Joker's opposite side. "I don't need to say so, I know it."

Staring at the blank holographic display after thanking Kasumi for the plate of gravy-drenched Earth-food, Joker leaned back while Dylan passed Garrus the dextro-labeled plastic containers. "How's the delay, EDI?"

"I estimate a seven minute lag-time, Jeff," EDI answered, her avatar not popping up in favor of leaving the television feed on. "Unfortunately, it is the best manageable this far from the Sol system."

"Best manageable on a free hack, so I ain't complaining," Joker answered.

After a half-hour, Garrus admitted, "I can't figure out why the ball is going where it is." Squinting at the images as the krogan quarterback got tackled by an asari and a human wearing the opposite team's colors, he added, "I'm still not sure it's even a ball...I think I prefer MMA, it's easier to keep track of."

"I hear that," Dylan sighed.

Joker and Kasumi were too busy rocking the couch on account of the tackle to notice. Nor did they notice the unfortunate direction in which the popcorn bowl fell.

After three hours, Joker and Kasumi were ready to celebrate victory...until it was taken away in the last ten minutes.

"That's bullshit!"

"Worst call ever!"

"The ref got paid off!"

"I'll steal his financials and get a scandal going, not even joking!"

The racket eventually woke Dylan from his nap. One side of his face had been worn raw from where he'd dozed off against the side of Garrus' head. "Wha?"

Garrus, for better or for worse, woke up too. "Did we win? Did we," he glanced to the side, seeing how close Dylan was. "Shepard, what were you," and then he realized his neck felt damp; he started poking at it with one talon, abruptly realizing what had happened. "Shepard! You can't drool on me!"

"I'm sorry!"

"What if I go into shock!"

"I'm sorry!"

Abruptly, Joker shuffled further away from Dylan, thankful that Kasumi obliged by moving as well.

Tilting her head to one side, she said, "What's with them?"

"Don't know," Joker crossed his arms, looking back to the replay of the game's end. Of the death of his innocence. "I think they just need to get their priorities straight and pay attention to what's important, here."

"It's alright, Jeff," Kasumi put a comforting arm around his shoulders, patting one. When he didn't stop sulking, she said, "We'll figure something out. I'll even sneak into the crew quarters and steal back your money from Donnelly's footlocker after you pay out."

That, at least, got a smile out of Joker. "Thanks."