Twelve
The charter jet landed in New York at four-thirty on Sunday afternoon. The cab ride into the city from the airport seemed to take forever. Bella's first impression of New York was not good. The skyline was hazy and gray, and it was noisy and busy and hectic, even on a Sunday afternoon. The humid air that wafted through the air-conditionless cab's open window smelled of rust and hot asphalt. Edward was on his phone, reading his e-mails and responding. Since this morning when they got to the airport he had been working; either tweaking scripts, reviewing contracts or e-mailing someone.
Bella was hoping that things would go well. She really wanted to enjoy this trip with Edward, and she did not want to start griping about him ignoring her; she hoped that he would be able to complete his business but also give her a little time too. If not, why did she come? She opened a travel guide to a map of the city.
"Edward, where do you live?"
"Greenwich Village, near NYU. Why?"
"I'm trying to find it on the map, to get my bearings. I need to know where I am in relation to the world."
He peered over her shoulder and found his street. "There."
She looked and leafed through the pages of the guide book. After a few minutes she said,"You're near the Puck building, Cooper Union, Washington Square Park, St. Marks Place, Soho, Tribeca, Little Italy, and Chinatown. Wow! You're near everything! Are you renting a car?"
"No, a car in New York is a pain in the ass. We'll take a cab wherever we want to go."
"How long have you lived here?"
He put away his phone. "Well, I first came to New York about eight years ago, but I bought this place almost four years ago; when I realized that I'd be coming here often. I come here five or six times a year and I hate staying in hotels." He reached for her hand and gave her wrist a kiss. "Have I been ignoring you?" Bella gain wondered if he could read her mind. "I'm sorry. But the rest of the night is ours, okay?"
The cab stopped in front of a charming brownstone. The quiet cobblestone street was tree-lined with lovely brownstones on either side; if it weren't for the cars and streetlights, one could imagine that the year was 1950, or 1920, or even 1880. Coming from the west coast she was enchanted by the history she felt just being on this street.
Edward had the third floor flat in the four story building. A flight of stairs led up to the building's front door which was ebony inset with beveled glass. Inside the lobby's wainscoting was constructed of dark ebony wood, above the wainscoting the wall was papered in rich silk cream and ivory damask. An antique chandelier hung from the ten foot ceiling. To the left, under an antique beveled mirror, was a dark polished wood table with two lamps. Edward retrieved his mail from his mailbox. The door straight ahead, also ebony, led into the first floor flat. To the right against the back wall, was the elegant curved staircase and next to it was an old fashioned elevator.
Edward carried his bags and hers (they only had one suitcase each) into the elevator and closed the gates, in order to activate the door. He turned the brass lever to "3" and they ascended the three flights to his floor. "It's so charming!" Bella exclaimed. "I've only seen elevators like these in old movies."
"It's designated a historic building. They keep it intact." Inside Edward's apartment was even more beautiful. His front door opened into an L-shaped hallway that ran from left to right. Edward dropped the mail on a small table in the hall. Directly across from the front door, french doors opened into the living room. A fireplace was on the left wall, and four tall windows on the back wall looked onto the backyard. The living room was furnished with two chocolate damask wing chairs that sat either side of the fireplace, a leather nail head couch directly opposite the chairs, a square mahogany center table, one side table next to the couch, a mid-century table lamp, and a cream wool area rug. The ten foot ceilings were trimmed with ornately, beautiful carved moldings.
Bella followed Edward as he walked down the hall to the left. She passed the three guest bedrooms, the first was furnished as a library-cum-office, with a desk, cabinets, bookshelves and a soft suede sofa. The second was the corner bedroom, furnished with a high four poster bed with a step stool and a dresser. Two long windows faced the back yard. A third window faced the side yard. The hallway curved and the third bedroom contained an antique brass bed, with a matelasse spread and big soft floral chair; it was sweetly feminine. Its two windows were facing a tree in the side yard. The L of the hallway ended at the master bedroom, which had windows that looked onto the street as well as windows that looked onto the side of the house. It was furnished with a dark wooden sleigh bed and two night stands and a wide dresser. A door to the right of the dresser led to a small bathroom with a claw foot tub. From what Bella noticed the three-bedroom flat had polished dark hardwood floors throughout and most of the walls were painted in a light taupe color.
"Oh Edward, this is so lovely. I was expecting a modern, very functional flat. It is so not what I expected. It's so classic, so charming, and this building must be at least a hundred years old."
"More than one hundred and sixty, it was built in the 1840's."
She walked up to him and gave him a kiss. "Show me the kitchen; I want to cook for you."
They retraced their steps back to the living room, the kitchen was down the hall to the right of the front door. As she passed, Bella looked again at the corner bedroom, with the four poster. The windows here faced the backyard and the side yard. "Edward?" she grabbed his hand and stopped him.
"Could we sleep in here?"
"Why?"
"I like it better. I like the high bed, it's cozy and so romantic. And I like how the window faces the tiny back yard. It reminds me of my bedroom. I like the fireplace too. Please?"
"Sure." He gave her a quick kiss and tugged her down the hall towards the kitchen. There was a formal dining room between the living room and the kitchen. It was elegant with a large mahogany table and eight cream damask chairs, a sideboard and a beautiful crystal chandelier. The entire flat was simply, yet elegantly, furnished.
The kitchen was smaller than the one on the Sophia, but bigger than she expected. It had two huge windows, steel appliances, granite countertops and frosted glass-paned cabinets that went all the way up to the ceiling. The bottom cabinets were white and she opened them to find almost nothing. She opened the top cabinets too. Edward had one frying pan, one sauté pan, a sauce pan and a stock pot. He had a few cooking utensils, plates and cutlery and absolutely no food in the cabinet.
She opened the fridge, and there was nothing in their either. The freezer had ice cubes and a canister of coffee beans.
"Do you eat out all the time when you're here?"
"Yes, but we can buy food if you want to cook. I entertain rarely and I usually hire a caterer for that. But we're only going to be here for a week, so whatever we buy we have to use up or throw away. We're not coming back until September."
The way he said 'we' caught her off guard. Didn't he realize that this affair wouldn't go on too much longer?
"Edward, I'll be back in school in August. I'm not coming back here with you." Bella wanted to set boundaries, if she didn't she was afraid that he would take over her whole life. And when he tired of her where would she be?
"Well, I meant this place would be empty until then." Edward seemed puzzled. "I didn't know that you're still in culinary school. I thought that you'd finished."
"I did. I went to culinary school so I could learn to cook, and be a good wife to Chris; but when I was done I enrolled in the legal studies program at the university. If all goes well, I'll get my undergrad degree next May." She explained.
"Legal studies? How come you never told me this before?" He seemed shocked.
"I guess it never came up." How could it, when all we ever do is have sex? she thought to herself.
"Are you planning to go on to law school?" He probed.
"That's the plan." She realized that they'd never had this kind of serious conversation before. "My mother was an attorney. She was a partner at 'Sneed, Mapother and Swan' a law firm in Oakland. They're advocates for the rights of the disabled and their families. I want to do the same thing, carry on her legacy."
"Well, well." He ran his hands through his hair, and stared at her as though she just confessed to being a bank robber. "So I guess that means you won't be coming with me to Los Angeles next month?"
She was surprised that he was expecting her to go everywhere with him. "You never asked me to. If you had, I would have told you I can't."
"Well, I would have asked you to come with me there next month." He folded her in his arms, whispering in her hair. "So we can enjoy each other."
Bella pulled away from him and looked into his face. "Edward, I told you, I can't be your full time mistress. I have a life, you know. I work, I teach dance to wonderful little kids who look forward to it, and I go to school. This is a vacation for me, this isn't my life. We can have this summer and that's pretty much it."
"I don't think that'll be enough for me, Bella." He nuzzled her neck. "I told you I want so much more from you."
Her heart was hammering, a little part of her was tempted to give in and tell him that she would stay with him for as long as he wanted; but she knew that she had to hold firm. "Well, we might have a problem there." Fearing she would cave, she tried to change the subject. "Edward, can we talk about this another time? It's after five-thirty, and I'm getting hungry. What are we going to do? Eat in, or eat out?" Bella asked.
"We can order in tonight and you and I can relax." He suggested. "Then we can walk to the supermarket and pick up a few things for tomorrow."
"Okay. What shall we order what are you in the mood for?" she was curious about his taste in food, he had never mentioned a preference before.
"Indian?" he suggested
"Mmm, sounds good." She loved Indian food and approved of his choice.
"Well, get ready for the best Indian food you've ever had." He called and ordered from a place on Second Avenue.
While he ordered, Bella went around and opened some windows. Early July in New York City was sweltering. It had to be at least ninety degrees outside and it was almost six; no summer fog rolling in here. She went into the bedroom she had chosen, and unpacked and hung up the few dresses she had brought. She also unpacked her lingerie and toiletries. All the drawers in this bedroom were empty. She wondered if Edward ever had other guests.
She went into the master and unpacked his things for him. She checked his closet, he had a few suits hanging up in bags from the cleaners. He had a few pairs of shoes. Other than that, this place was just like a hotel; a nice hotel, but impersonal.
Bella wandered back into the living room and heard Edward on the phone. She could tell by the way he ran his hand through his hair that he was upset. He was talking to his mother and whatever she was saying to him was upsetting him greatly.
Bella left him to talk privately. She went into the bathroom that connected the two smaller bedrooms, it was nice, luxurious. She stripped and got into the walk-in shower, it was glass enclosed and tiled with tumbled limestone. There were four shower heads and the recessed lighting could be adjusted from dim to bright. It was like a four star spa.
It was sinking into her consciousness that Edward was wealthy. This apartment had to be worth at least a few million dollars and then she thought about the boat. And then he also had a place in LA. He was a writer for television and movies. Oh my goodness, he was probably a multi-millionaire. But still he lived pretty quietly and simply, what an enigma.
Bella dried off and put on moisturizer. She combed the tangles out of her hair and braided it, then she put on her sexy new underwear and lay down on the bed and promptly fell asleep.
#
When Bella woke up it was a little cooler, Edward had brought in a small table fan and the breeze was delicious. The sun was still up and she checked her watch, it was after five o'clock Pacific time, which meant it was almost eight thirty here. She had been asleep for almost three hours. She got up and washed her face and brushed her teeth, she wanted to take another shower but was too hungry. Instead she went into the living room, Edward was on his laptop.
"Why didn't you wake me up?" She sat next to him on the couch and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"I thought you needed the rest, we've been traveling all day." He closed his laptop and pulled her to sit on his lap. "Are you ready for dinner? It was delivered a couple of hours ago."
She kissed him, "I'm starving. Did you eat already?"
He shook his head, "No, I waited for you. Sit down and I'll bring it." He went to the kitchen.
Bella felt decadent sitting around in her jade bra and panties waiting for Edward to serve her, but she was too hot to put on clothes; so she went back to the bedroom and pulled out a rectangular silk scarf and wrapped it sarong style around her hips. She went back into the living room and put the throw pillows on the floor around the center table.
Edward had micro waved the food and he put the containers on the table. He went back to the kitchen and returned with plates and a bottle of beer for himself and a soft drink for Bella. As they ate they talked about food, likes and dislikes, which led to him talking about growing up in Hawaii. Bella noticed that Edward's face looked drawn and tired.
"Edward, is everything okay?" Bella was enjoying the rice pilaf and some murga tikka and spicy lamb vindaloo. The sauces were delicious as was the poori and the naan. He was picking at the food and not really savoring it, he seemed preoccupied.
"Why?" He asked quietly. It was obvious to Bella that he was behaving oddly.
"Well, you look tired and distracted." She replied, trying to find out if something was on his mind.
"Bella, we're going to have to leave New York sooner than I expected. Saturday morning I'm going to take you back to Berkeley and then I'll have to leave again for Honolulu." Clearly, he wasn't happy about going home.
"Oh." She was surprised. Apparently something was wrong.
He looked into her face, and started to say something. It seemed to Bella that he thought better of it and smiled at her. "It's not a big deal. My mom called and they need me home to sort out a few things. They're getting older and they're trying to make arrangements for the future."
Bella was quiet; she wondered about his family, had he heard bad news? Bella knew it must be hard for him to face his parent's mortality. She didn't say anything for awhile.
"You weren't kidding when you said this is the best Indian food ever. It's delicious, don't you want to try some dhal?" she asked as she dished some onto her plate.
"No, I've had enough." Edward picked up his plate and took it into the kitchen.
Bella finished eating as he started to put away the leftovers. Edward then came back into the living room with another beer, turned on some jazz and pulled her to sit on his lap in the armchair. He held her close and rested his scruffy cheek against her breasts.
Bella hugged him to her, her cheek on the top of his crazy head of hair as she ran her fingers through it. "You know, Edward, I am a very good listener."
He said nothing, just sipped at his bottle of beer, and occasionally kissed the swell of her breasts. Bella started to rub his temples, he moaned, "That feels good."
That was all the permission she needed to straddle him and start massaging the base of his skull. He moaned again in pleasure and she began running her hands down his neck and over his shoulders, applying pressure to relieve the tension in his muscles; moving back every so often to press her thumbs to his temples.
His eyes closed and his breathing became deep and even, and she thought she had lulled him into sleep, when she heard his husky voice say, "You're touch is very soothing you know."
She spoke in a soft hushed voice, "Do you like it?"
He moaned again as her thumbs pressed into the tight muscles of his shoulders, his eyebrows knitting and then relaxing,"Yes, very much."
She kept massaging entranced by his face in repose, showing the pleasure he was feeling, it was so beautiful to see. "Why do you need to be soothed?" she murmured.
He was in a semi trance, lulled by her touch, "Because." He exhaled.
"Because why?"
"Because." He sighed, "I'm a troubled soul, a fucked up individual with a fucked up life."
She tut tutted, her voice still softly pulling, "I can't believe that. You have a fabulous life. You live in L.A. and New York. You have women falling at your feet at every turn. You have a house boat, you hobnob with creative and famous people. Yup, you have a fabulous life."
He opened his eyes and Bella almost drowned in his unfathomable grey depths. "Bella, a lifestyle is not the same thing as a life."
She took another tack, curious about the state of his soul."What troubles your soul?"
He closed his eyes again, as if trying to shut her out. But he reluctantly answered anyway, "Life. My life." he almost hissed.
They were quiet. Bella thought she had come to the end of the road, his hiss was almost angry. She continued the massage though, mostly rubbing his scalp, under the unruly mop of hair. His head burrowed into her pressing fingers. The flat was silent, but for their breathing.
After long minutes Edward spoke again, his eyes open and looking searchingly into hers. "Did you ever want something so much that you thought if only I can do this, if only I can get this, I'll be truly happy?"
"I suppose we all have at one time or another." She answered softly, again enchanted by this man's beauty.
His voice was soft as he began his tale, speaking to Bella for the first time about himself, his feelings. "Well, for so long, years and years, I wanted to write and get published and be successful. Everyone would know me and respect me, I'd be the next Graham Greene or Robert Ludlum. Now, I've gotten that wish. I'm writing and my books are out there and I'm being recognized, I realize it's not everything. It's like that Peggy Lee song, 'Is that all there is?' Have you ever heard it?"
"Maybe. No, I don't think so." She may have heard it, but couldn't remember.
"Well, in the song she looks forward to something and when she gets it she asks, 'Is that all there is?' She keeps having experiences and she's always disappointed because nothing ever lives up to her expectations."
"She sounds like a complainer."
He laughed, "I guess you can say that. It's just that I realize that song is just like my life." He took a swig of his beer and looked at her as if expecting something from her.
Bella swallowed, was he trying to tell her he was unhappy? "So you're disappointed? With me?"
He smiled, bigger than anything, "No, sweet Bella, this isn't about you. It's about me. Being with you has probably been the one thing that's lived up to the hype; surpassed it even. I was just saying that I wish… I don't know…" and his voice trailed off. He took the last sip of beer and placed the bottle on the table.
He looked tired, she wanted so much to understand him."What do you wish, Edward?"
He closed his eyes again and leaned back."I wish for things that I can never have."
She stroked his scruffy cheek, following the hair line from temple to tempting lips and stopped there. She cupped his jaw. "Like what? Edward, what would you wish for if you could wish for anything in the world? I'm giving you carte blanche, anything at all, real or imagined."
He breathed a heavy sigh. "I guess that I'd wish that I could go back to a simpler time in my life, when things weren't so complicated."
"Really? That's all you'd wish for? Out of everything you can possibly have that's what you'd wish for? Really?"
"Really."
Bella was quiet for a few moments. There was a time, not too long ago, when she would have made that same wish. She would have gone back in time to be with her mother and Chris. But would she wish it now? If she did, she would not have Edward. She berated herself, reminding herself that she doesn't have Edward, and probably never will. "Why?"
He smiled at her and stroked her hair. "I can't tell you why."
She wanted him to share more of himself with her, but knew it was his choice. "You can tell me anything."
Anything but this. He said to himself.
They were silent for a long time. Both of them thinking about the other.
"But, Bella, I can't go back, I have to go forward. And you, being with you, has made all the difference." And he kissed her so tenderly and thoroughly her heart soared. "Bella, I want you to stay with me. Don't go back to school, after summer ends. 'Come live with me and be my love. And we will all the pleasures prove.' I want you to say yes."
She stroked his cheek again. "I can't do that, Edward. I'm sorry, but I can't."
"I'm going to miss this." Edward said softly. Immediately, her heart fell to her feet. She knew she was being smart to turn down his offer, but he was right.
"I'm going to miss this too." Bella thought to the months ahead. She would miss this, so she thought she should make memories that she could look back on in happiness.
They sat like that for a long time. The sunset and the twilight came and went. They continued to sit there quietly in the dark, holding each other.
Eventually, Edward started rubbing her hip under the silk sarong. He reached around and started massaging her bottom, looping one finger into the waistband of her panties and tugging it down lower on her hips. He moved his thumb forward and ran it over the bone of her pelvis. Then his hand brushed past the indent of her waist as he reached to cup her breast. "Bella," he murmured as he kissed the curve of her neck, and she knew immediately what he wanted. Sliding from his lap, she reached for his hand and led him quietly to the bedroom.
Bella never knew making love could express such exquisite sweetness and sadness. Edward held her and kissed her all over. He touched her slowly as though he were feeling her body for the first time. There was nothing feverish or frenzied about his movements, they were so slow and deliberate.
When Edward moved between her thighs she eagerly opened for him to soothe him the best way she knew how. His thrusts were barely perceptible; he ground and rubbed his pelvis into her mound. It was a tightly controlled dance, and she closed her eyes to connect with his movements. She ground herself into him in a circular motion and she opened wider and wider to get the friction she needed. It took a long time but she finally felt her muscles dip, Edward picked up the pace and pressed and ground harder.
She looked up at Edward and his head was bent, he was looking down the length of her body to where their bodies were joined. Bella had never looked before and it was so erotic to see him moving in and out that it fed her impending orgasm, and she started to fall fast. Edward felt it begin and his head came up as he looked into her eyes; he groaned and started to push harder, she moved her arms around his back and held on to his shoulders. When she reached up and kissed his lips, her heart tumbled and she was there. Edward whispered "Bella, Bella" again and again. Her head sunk back down into the pillows, and she was moaning and twisting. She watched him through the haze of her bliss, his jaw was tight and his nostrils flared, his eyes burned into hers and then they shut in ecstasy. She felt his hips jerk once and then twice and then he stopped moving and let out a deep groan. Bella reached up and hugged him tighter and brought him down to rest his weight on her.
Later, Edward and Bella lay on their sides facing each other with their legs intertwined. Bella picked up his hand and kissed the knuckles.
"Edward?"
"Hmm?"
"Feel better?"
"Being in you always makes me feel better."