Thirteen
The next morning Bella woke up alone, although it was still too early to call Alice, she walked around the flat looking for her cell phone. She felt like a horrible sister, she hadn't thought of Alice at all yesterday. It was too early to be this hot and sticky, so she took a shower and got dressed. She put on mint green capri pants and a sleeveless silk top, with a leafy motif. It consisted of four ruffled layers that came down to just under her breasts, leaving her midriff bare. She paired the outfit with espadrilles and wide plastic bracelets. Edward had left a post it on the bathroom mirror telling her to check the hall table for the keys and an envelope. In the envelope she found another note; he'd written that he'd be busy until about four that afternoon and that she should go out and buy herself something pretty. There was money in the envelope, lots of it; she counted a thousand dollars!
She walked towards Astor Place where she would get on the train, on the way she stopped at a coffee shop and had a huge breakfast. She sat for a few minutes perusing her little guide book and decided to go to the Empire State Building and do the tourist thing. After eating she took the subway to thirty-fourth street and walked the two blocks over to Fifth Avenue. Reflecting that Alice would really appreciate the art deco architecture of the landmark's lobby, she took the elevator to the observation deck and then went to the tippy top; she could feel the building swaying and it was unnerving. The city spread below her in a haze of barely discernible grey blocks. She left the building and strolled up Fifth Avenue toward the Main library; lunch was eating a hot dog with onions under the lions, leaning back and enjoying the theater of the city. After lunch she headed east to Grand Central Station and marveled at the beauty of the architecture, exploring the many shops on the concourse. She wanted to head up to the United Nations building; because that was the one place she most wanted to see, but by two o'clock she was exhausted.
Deciding to call it a day, she headed back downtown. She stopped at a video store in the neighborhood and struck gold when she found the DVD she had wanted. "Tonight," she said to herself, "is Italian Night". She was going to cook for Edward; her fantastic puttanesca, along with homemade pappardelle, antipasti, a bottle of valpolicella, crusty bread and for dessert, Tiramisu.
By the time Edward came home the food smells were wafting through the flat, everything was ready and just right and his eyes lit up when she met him at the door with a kiss. "Something smells good." He said, squeezing her behind.
"We're staying in tonight, I'm cooking for you." She removed his hand from her bottom and led him to the bedroom, and sat him on the bed. "I've got a gift for you." She pulled it from the dresser and gave it to him with a flourish.
He looked at the wrapped gift and turned it over in his hands. "What is it?"
His smile tickled her, and she giggled. "There's only one way to find out."
He ripped it open excitedly, "Hey, Houseboat. Just what I've always wanted."
"Right. Well, I thought this could be Italian Night; pasta and tiramisu for me and valpolicella and Sophia Loren, for you."
"Bella, thank you, you're very sweet." His grey eyes were warm, and his wide smile crinkled the corners of his eyes. He reached over and kissed her softly.
She tugged on his arm, pulling him off the bed. "Yes, I am. So put that baby on, I want to watch the movie." They went into the library where he had the flat screen.
He put the DVD in and came to sit down next to Bella on the sofa. "Well, I'm not too sure how good it is, remember last time I saw it I was eleven. All I cared about was Sophia."
She snuggled against him, running her finger down his nose. "Isn't eleven a little young for a boy to have fantasies?"
Shaking his head and smiling, he passed his thumb over her full lips. "Not this boy. I was always entranced by women; especially the dark haired, dark eyed ones, with full lips and curvy hips."
She giggled as his hands caressed her hips, "Hmm, I must have been a late bloomer. I didn't even think about boys until I was fifteen. Up until that point I thought they were annoying, smelly and gross. And the first time I ever kissed a boy, I was seventeen."
Edward leaned in and kissed her lips. "So, it's only been about five years since you started liking boys? You're so innocent, my Bella. No wonder you're always second guessing yourself." He seemed taken aback by the realization.
"Well, I've been loosening up lately, haven't I? I'm trying to relax and enjoy it, like you said. I thought I was pretty good last night." She pouted.
He laughed and hugged her. "You're good every night. Don't worry baby, I'll have you comfortable and confident in no time. You just need to accept that you are beautiful and perfect, and nothing you do in bed can ever be wrong."
The movie began, and Bella stared at the screen. She didn't think she looked a thing like this Sophia (the goddess) Loren. What the hell does Edward see in me? I don't look like this. Sure she was curvy, but she didn't have those voluptuous breasts and the hips, and there was no way her waist was that small. Sophia's face was sultry and sexy, with pouty lips and cat's eyes. Bella did not see any resemblance, as far as she was concerned it was like comparing chalk to cheese.
As they sat watching the movie her attention wavered, time after time her gaze strayed to Edward. He was sexy, sexier than Cary Grant that's for sure. The movie was a romantic romp, cute, but not enough to keep her mind off her lover, and the things they could be doing. She got up and went to the living room and brought back a glass of wine for Edward. Even watching him sip the wine turned her on, the way his lips caressed the glass, the way his adams apple bobbed as he swallowed, did things to her. She lay on the couch and put her feet on his lap, giving in to an overwhelming desire to seduce him.
"Edward?"
"Hmm?"
"Wouldn't you like to lie down next to me?"
Edward looked at her and smiled. He lay down, resting his head on a cushion that he propped against the sofa's arm, and pulled her on top of him. "Better?"
"Much." She curved her body into his, seeking his smell.
After a few minutes of getting lost in him, Bella asked, "Edward?"
"Hmm?"
"Wouldn't you like to kiss me?"
And he did and she liked it too, very much.
They kissed and cuddled as they finished watching the movie. Afterwards, Bella could not recall much of what she'd seen; all her thoughts had been focused on Edward.
#
Later as they sat on cushions around the little coffee table in the living room, they ate the meal and talked. "What did you do today?"
"I had a breakfast meeting with my agent, signed contracts for a movie based on my second book. Saw my accountant and signed papers. Then I had lunch with some producers to talk about a television pilot that I may consult on. Just meetings and more meetings with people."
"Oh." Bella grimaced. God how boring his day was.
"How about you? What did you do today?" He asked as he speared some pasta on his fork.
"Tourist stuff. I took a lot of pictures, want to see?" She got up and fetched her digital camera from her bag, returning to kneel down next to him. Flipping through the pictures she showed him where she'd been, excitement lit her voice as she described all she'd seen.
He smile was indulgent, listening to her explain each picture. "I hope you're not too bored going about on your own. The rest of the week, I should be home by one, two at the latest. And we'll do some fun things together."
Bella was aghast that he thought that she was bored without him. "It's New York, for heaven's sake how can I possibly be bored? I don't need to be constantly entertained, you know." She got up and returned to her cushion. She wanted to make it clear to him that she wasn't waiting around all day, like a mistress, for him to show up.
He reached across the table and stayed her arm as she reached for her fork. "I know. But I'm sure you didn't expect to come to New York and spend your days alone."
"Well, actually I did expect that. You said that you would be here on business. I came knowing that we wouldn't spend every minute together. I'm not needy, Edward." Bella wondered why, as she strove to appear independent and mature, her voice wavered and she sounded like a child.
His hand was stroking her wrist. "I never said you were needy, Bella. But I am. Very needy. Of you." He lowered his voice to a seductive hush. "You know, you've been on my mind all day. I can't get you out of my head. Haven't I been on yours?"
If he only knew how many times that very day Bella had found herself daydreaming about their lovemaking of the night before. "Well, I thought about you enough to buy you dinner and a movie." She teasingly pointed out.
He brought her fingers to his lips and kissed the tip before asking, "I meant hasn't your body been missing mine?"
Bella felt an electric shudder ripple down her spine, and the hair at the back of her neck stood on end, she felt her nipples harden.
"Are you cold?" Edward smirked knowingly.
"No, not at all." She choked out, she didn't know what was wrong with her body, why it betrayed her ever time; but she knew it had everything to do with the way he was touching her.
He tugged on the hand he was holding, "Come over here, Bella baby."
Bella sighed and got up to walk around the table. He pulled her to sit on his lap. "Why the heavy sigh, Bella? Don't you want to make love?" He moved her hair aside to kiss her neck.
She gasped and lifted her chin to allow him more access to her neck, and she sighed again. "I do, but I wanted to have dessert first."
Edward stilled and looked into her dreamy face as she waited for his kiss, and he started to laugh. He reared back and laughed a loud belly laugh. Bella had never seen him laugh that way before. His eyes twinkled and the dimple in his cheek deepened, the laugh was deep and sexy. He pushed her off his lap and got up from the cushion. She heard him laughing all the way as he walked to the kitchen. He came back with the tiramisu and set it down in front of her, he was still laughing. "Bella, I must be slipping. That's the first time anyone has ever turned me down for cake." He laughed again until tears came to his eyes.
Bella tried to explain, "I know when we get started we don't stop until we fall asleep and I wanted to taste..." But Edward wasn't listening. He kept laughing as he watched her savor every bite of the tiramisu. Her mouth half full she mumbled, "Don't you want some?" She offered the piece on her fork and he took the last bite.
After swallowing he licked his lips. "It's good Bella. But you taste much better." And with that statement he scooped her up and carried her to the bedroom.
Later on, when Edward had returned from tidying up, she rolled toward him to nuzzle into his side. She was almost asleep with her head on his chest, when she felt him laughing again.
#
Bella woke up the next morning and Edward was already gone. Again it was already hot and it was only eight o'clock. She put on denim shorts and a white halter top. She grabbed her little guide book and went back to the coffee shop. She ordered a bagel with cream cheese and some coffee and sat and read the book for a few minutes. Today, she decided, she would take the subway down to City Hall and walk towards the Brooklyn Bridge. She visited City Hall and Trinity Church and the courthouses on Center Street. Then she walked the few blocks to the Brooklyn Bridge. Fortunately, she remembered to call Alice and tell her that they had arrived safely, it had totally slipped her mind yesterday. They talked for a few minutes, Alice had lived in New York during college, so she suggested some places she may want to check out. She walked across the bridge and stopped to look at the Statue of Liberty and the Manhattan Skyline.
Once over the bridge she was in Brooklyn and stopped to eat her first slice of New York pizza, yet another "Original Ray's". It was a sloppy, cheesy slice of heaven. She walked back over the bridge and rather than head up to Central Park as she had originally planned, she decided to go back to the flat and take another shower. It was almost twelve-thirty and by the time she got back it would be one o'clock anyway.
She took the number six subway and got off at Astor Street and retraced her steps to the flat. She let herself in and walked right into Edward's arms. He picked her up and carried her to the couch. "Bella, where the hell have you been?" He frowned at her.
She was surprised. "Why? Were you worried? I thought you'd be busy until two. I can take care of myself, you know. I'm an adult."
"But I tried to call you, you weren't answering. I finished early and I hurried back to take you to lunch and spend the rest of the day with you." Edward said.
"Well, I've already had lunch; a giant slice of greasy, delicious, New York pizza." She smacked her lips.
"Well, I haven't eaten yet. Why don't we go and grab some more and eat together?"
"Sounds like a plan, but can I shower first? I feel grubby." She felt smelly too.
"Bella, if you shower I'll have to get in with you and then we'll make love and then I won't eat for another few hours. I have to pick up some more condoms anyway. Let's just pop out and when we come back, we'll shower, okay?" He promised.
"Okay." She gave in.
They walked outside holding hands. Bella felt so good to be holding hands with Edward in public; she reflected that they really haven't been in public very often, most of their alone time had been spent behind closed doors. As a matter of fact in the two weeks since they first became lovers they'd only been out together once before. Bella also reflected that although they'd only been together for two weeks it felt like they'd been together much, much longer than that.
#
While they walked to the neighborhood pizzeria, Bella brought up a subject that she had wanted to talk about. "Edward, I got tested in January and I'd like you to get tested." She hurried on. "If you get tested, eventually we wouldn't have to bother with the condoms, you know."
He stopped in his tracks and turned and faced her. "Bella, I've gotten tested too. Recently, last month in fact. But, we" and he waggled his index finger between them "are not going to have sex without condoms. I have no intention of fathering a baby, so I don't want to run the risk of getting you pregnant. We're going to continue using them."
Bella was stunned and she spluttered a response, "But I don't want me to get pregnant either." She felt that he was accusing her of trying to get pregnant and she wasn't. "I have an IUD, I can't get pregnant." She paused. "It's much more reliable than a condom." She informed him.
"Really? When did you get an IUD?" He seemed surprised, maybe even doubtful, she thought. And Bella couldn't shake the feeling felt that he was interrogating her, investigating whether she was telling the truth or not.
"I went to my doctor in August, when Chris moved in." She frowned, suddenly realizing that she hadn't thought about Chris at all since her involvement with Edward. Unbelievably, it felt strange to her that she was even saying his name.
Edward took her hand in his again and they resumed walking to the pizzeria. "We'll talk about this later, okay?"
Bella couldn't help feeling that Edward distrusted her. She cursed her errant mouth, what a fool she was to have broached the subject of going without condoms.
She had lost her appetite, so she drank some water and watched him eat. She replayed their conversation in her mind and every time she went over the words her eyes smarted. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but somehow his words had conveyed that he didn't feel that she was a safe person to trust. For some reason that she herself couldn't understand, it made her feel cheap.
As soon as they returned to the flat, she went to the living room and started the conversation up again. She wanted to know exactly what Edward meant.
"Edward, I have a feeling that you don't trust me, or something." She crossed her arms over her chest and looked him in the eye.
Edward looked puzzled. "What do you mean, of course I trust you."
"I'm talking," she said slowly as if addressing an idiot, "about what you said earlier about me getting pregnant."
She could see a flicker in his eyes, he knew exactly what she meant. His tone became placating, "I do trust you, but you must see that I have to be careful, we just met."
Her ears started to whirr, the blood rushing around her body as her temper flared. Her voice was loud, but she wasn't shouting just yet. "Just met? Just met? That didn't stop you from screwing me in every way possible, did it? It didn't stop you from bringing me to New York solely for sex. So now you have the nerve to tell me that you have to be careful about trusting me?"
"It's not about trust. You're very young…" he started.
"I know exactly how young I am, thank you very much. And I know exactly how old you are, old man." She sneered. "I don't want to get pregnant for you. I suggested we get tested for safety reasons and perhaps, way, way in the future perhaps, we can forget the condoms. And then you accuse me of trying to get pregnant."
"I didn't accuse you…"
"Yes you did." She mimicked him, 'we're going to continue using them.' I wouldn't have suggested we stop if I didn't have some form of birth control, you jerk." And she went to the bedroom and slammed the door.
After a few minutes Edward knocked softly on the bedroom door. "Bella, please open the door?"
"No." Bella was so angry at him, and at herself. He doesn't even know me. He only knows my body. She thought. And that's my fault.
After a few minutes she heard the front door close as he left the flat. She took a long shower and shampooed and conditioned her hair. She went back to the bedroom and combed it out and braided it. She slathered herself in moisturizer and lay on the bed to dry off naturally. Her mind was a whirl of thoughts. Here she was thinking that he was opening up to her and that this may evolve into a friendly relationship, when in reality all he wanted was a sex toy. She remembered back to that time when they cooked together on the Sophia ; he had told her he liked her. What a liar, he was. And, what a wake-up call, this is. Right then she made a fervent promise to herself, she would start shutting off her emotions, she was not going suffer through another broken heart.
#
At six o'clock she eventually got up and got dressed, Edward had planned to take her out to dinner and she was going to enjoy her time in New York even if it killed her. She undid her braid, which allowed her hair to fall in waves down her back. She wore a shantung silk, blush-pink summer dress, which looked almost suggestively nude. The bodice was tight, and came to just mid-way over her bust line. Two inch-wide straps criss-crossed above her cleavage, the straps continued over her shoulders and attached to the bodice in back. She couldn't wear a bra with it and her breasts looked more voluptuous than usual. The nipped in waist had a narrow belt and the pencil skirt was snug without being too tight. It fell to just above her knees, a slit in back allowed her to walk easily. She paired it with nude, kitten- heeled strappy summer sandals. As she affixed two butterfly clips in her hair to hold it off her forehead, she heard a faint sound outside her door and opened it; Edward had left a gardenia for her. She thought briefly of going up to him and smooshing it in his face.
She picked it up and walked to the living room. Edward got up and came to hug her, but she avoided him by quickly sitting down in an armchair. "Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"Don't worry about it." Her voice was abrupt and cold. She threw the gardenia on the table and said, "I'm getting hungry."
Edward's eyes flickered from her to the flower and back, but he didn't say anything. He stared at her stiff expression and waited for her to say something, she stared coldly back. She saw his eyes move downward to settle on her breasts and she fought the urge to cross her arms over her chest. He looked back into her eyes and she raised one eyebrow. "Ready?" she asked.
"Do you want paella? I made reservations at a Spanish restaurant within a short taxi ride, right here in the Village. Then I thought that we could walk home."
"Whatever." Bella really didn't care where or what they ate, she just wanted to get out of that apartment.
#
The restaurant was cozy and the smell stirred her appetite. They chose the paella Valenciana; with chicken, sausage and shellfish. It was delicious, the saffron rice was fluffy and the flavor was subtle. Edward drank sangria. After initially trying to engage her in conversation, Edward gave up; then neither of them talked much, Bella was unwilling to make small talk just to put him at ease.
There was a small dance area and some couples were dancing to the Gypsy Kings music that was playing. Bella sat back and watched the couples all of a sudden wishing that Edward were more like Chris; easy going and fun, and not so difficult to understand. He asked her if she wanted to dance and she shook her head , without even looking at him. They were about to leave when an older gentleman came over and asked Bella to dance. He looked at Edward for permission but Bella didn't wait, she took his hand and walked to the dance floor.
The song started slow and then sped up. Bella's partner knew how to dance. He whirled her and then placed his hand in the small of her back and they moved their hips and feet to the gypsy rhythm of the music. Bella was joyful, for the first time in days she could move and dance and forget everything else. She was radiant and everyone's eyes were on her, including Edward's. The dancers moved over and gave them a wider space. Bella's partner was fantastic, he was at least sixty, but he moved like a much younger man. He moved her body the way he wanted and she responded to his cues. The music came to an end all too soon for Bella. Her partner escorted her back to the table and kissed her hand, "Thank you, senor," he said to Edward. "she is wonderful." Edward nodded.
The man turned to Bella, "Hablas espanol?"
"Si. Solo un poco."
"Eres una mujer que muy bonita, y si el no te quiere hay muchos hombres que se desea."
Bella laughed and teased, "Como tu?"
He responded, "Claro que si!" and left.
Bella sat down and Edward smiled. "Had fun?"
She answered, "Yeah, best fun I've had all week." Then she leaned in and whispered, "Even better than sex."
He narrowed his eyes and looked at her.
"I'm ready to leave, are you?" Bella finally asked.
He shook his head and reached for her hand to escort her to the dance floor. The music was soft and Edward folded her in his arms. After a minute, she rested her head against his chest and let him lead her. He felt so good in her arms; the desire to resist was going out of her. In a moment of weakness, she started to question her reaction, wondering if she was being overly sensitive over the whole thing. She shook her head and decided that she was right.
When the song ended, Edward whispered in her ear, "That was good, but definitely not better than sex with you." When they were leaving the restaurant they were stopped at the door by the older gentleman who introduced himself as the owner of the restaurant. He thanked them for coming and hugged Bella again.
Outside, it was a very warm night. Edward asked if she felt like walking and she shrugged.
He immediately asked, "What did the old guy say to you that had you laughing?"
Bella was blunt, "He said that if 'my boyfriend' didn't want me, plenty of others do, including himself."
He reached out to hold her hand. "Oh, I want you. You are very sexy tonight. Everyone was staring at you. In that dress, I can easily imagine you naked."
"I think that you can usually imagine me naked, regardless of what I'm wearing." She snickered.
"True." He paused and continued, "Bella, you don't mind that do you? That I am very sexually attracted to you? That I love your body? I've never tried to hide it from you."
"No, I don't mind. But I don't want to be just a body, you know? I hoped that you would have tried to get to know me and like me and trust me."
"But I do trust you. I don't know how many times I have to try to apologize before you'll listen. I really don't know what you want to hear." The edge to his voice told her that he was becoming frustrated.
"Nothing that you have to say." She was getting angry again.
He saw a taxi and hailed it. They got in and he cornered her. He grabbed her chin and forced her to look him in the face. "Bella, I know that you're upset but it seems like such a stupid thing to get upset about. I've always used protection; I've slept with a lot of women. I never want to get an STD and I never wanted to be the guy who finds out years later that he has a kid out there. It's crazy, you seem angry at me for doing the responsible thing, and I just don't understand why you're making such a big deal out of this."
"Edward, I don't have an STD. I did say that I've been tested, didn't I? And I don't understand why you think that I would be the sort of woman who would have a kid and show up at your doorstep years later. It's like you think I'm stupid or worse, planning to trap you. I know more about birth control than you do, I bet. I know, for instance that an IUD is much more effective than condoms. I know that this is just an affair we are having. I know I don't want to get pregnant." She paused for breath in the middle of her tirade. "I think what makes me the angriest is that you haven't even bothered to get to know me and what I want. I told you that I don't want a serious commitment. I have my degree to finish. But I do want the trust and respect of the person I'm sleeping with. But now I realize that boat has sailed. I fell into bed with you, scratch that. I let you seduce me into falling into bed with you after knowing you for a measly two weeks. And I guess the price I pay for that is that to you I'm a convenient lay. You don't want to get to know me, you don't respect me and to you I'm just a fuck and nothing else." Her voice trailed off sadly and she turned from him and looked out the window of the cab.
The taxi stopped in front of the flat and Bella walked up the stairs and let herself in. She went straight to the room, kicked off her shoes and lay on the bed. She understood what Edward was saying, she respected him immensely for using protection but likewise she knew that to him she was just another in the long line of the "many women" he had slept with. She had harbored ideas that it might be a little different for him, but it wasn't.
She heard him come into the flat and then the bedroom door opened and he walked in and stood by the side of the bed. She looked up and said sarcastically, "So, Edward, have you come for your nightly screw?"
Edward picked her up in his arms and carried her to the living room couch, he sat down and settled her on his lap. "Bella, I trust you more than you know. You're not just a convenient fuck, I care a lot about you, and I really, really like you."
"Oh yeah? You really, really like me?" her voice was heavy with sarcasm. "How can you really, really like someone when you don't even know them?"
His voice was soft as he responded. "I know a lot about you. I know that you are kind and sweet and generous. I know that you're funny and feisty. You're very trusting and sometimes a little naive. I know with you I'm never bored and that I like sleeping with you, very, very much." He paused. "And I think that you feel the same about me, don't you?"
Why did he always take away her bluster? "I do like you." She admitted and he sighed and hugged her close.
"Edward?" Bella looked down at him as he started kissing her cleavage.
"Hmm?" He was intently trying to get her straps undone.
She covered his hands with her own and removed them. "Edward, I don't want to sleep with you tonight." She said in a sure voice.
He stopped what he was doing to look into her eyes to see if she was joking. "Why not?"
"Because I just don't feel like it. I need a break, some time to think things over."
Heat tinted his cheeks, and his grey eyes narrowed as his nostrils flared in anger. "You know, it's annoying when you say that. The last time you had to "think" it over it took you ten days to come back to me. Maybe you should stop "thinking", Bella. You're not very good at it." He said meanly, implying she was stupid.
She slid off his lap and stood in front of him with hands on her hips, her eyes were flashing, and her body tight with temper. "Yeah, you'd like that wouldn't you? You'd like me not to think for myself and to be an airheaded ninny who does exactly what you want me to do. Well I'm not. And I'm not having sex with you tonight and that's final." She stalked to the bedroom and turned the lock, shutting him out.