A/N: All I have to say is wow! I've gotten quite a lot of reviews for this story. So I guess that means I am going in the right direction with this. Also, just to let you know this chapter was really hard to write. I know how I want my story to go, but getting it to go that way is harder than I had originally thought. So I hope my hard work pays off and you all will enjoy it. Thanks again!
Chapter 3: No Desire
"Hello," the thick Scottish accent of Constantine spoke out to me as I wondered the grounds of Castle Wyvern. I turned to look at my newest guardian and companion. Constantine is a man like so many others before him, ruthless and cut throat to the very end.
"Good day," I replied in kind with a simple curtsey, not even giving him the pleasure of looking at him. He said nothing for awhile and I had no desire to break the silence that lay between us. Princess Kathryn had announced only a week prior that he would be my newest day time guardian. Someone I felt wouldn't be as adequate as my night time watcher. A point I openly noted.
"Have you grown so accustomed to your gargoyles that you refuse to even acknowledge me?" Constantine asked me with a devilish smile as he moved to stand closer to me. His stature automatically overshadowed mine.
"I am sorry if it seems rude, but I came out here for the silence of the day. Not for the simple chatter of needy men," I replied with a cool and even voice. I could see the redness of Constantine's face at my quick response.
"Why do you judge me so quickly my lady? Have I somehow offended you in some way? If so please let me be of knowledge of my misdeed so that I may in the future correct my error," He said with the sophistication of a man who has spent most of his life living in the life of the court. I rounded on him quickly, used to men who've tried and failed countless times before to show their dominance in my presence.
"I know of you," I said to him with a pointed finger, "I know of you."
"You know of me how?" He asked as if trying to assess the situation.
"A coward, a cheat and a man who would do anything to get his place on the court," I said sternly. He looked at me, light blue eyes piercing into me like a knives sharp blades.
"And how does one become so quick to judge these things of me?" He asked as he placed his hands behind his back. He took a rather large step to the left of me and began to walk in circle around me. As if he was measuring me and finding me too short.
"You are not the only one who has lived a life in court sir," I reply shortly, my head held high and face looking directly in front of me. I could see dusk approaching, the sun setting quickly behind my new home. "Word travels fast on pilgrim's lips."
"So you've heard that I am a cheat and a coward," he summed as he continued circling me in rather predatory like way. I began to feel uncomfortable with the situation, but dared not show it to this man in front of me. "That is something most men will hear within their lives. I however had thought that a lady of your stature would have at least deemed me worthy of a first impression. I had no idea that your father raised a woman who believed the petty gossip of wayward travelers."
I clenched my jaw at his words. His distasteful conclusion of my father ate at my family pride. I could say nothing as he stopped in front of me. His body was only a hair's breath away from me. Far too close for my comfort.
"What would you have me do sir?" I questioned him as he leaned down closer to me. His blue eyes dimming, his dark locks falling in front of them. A haze seemed to have over taken him, drowning me in a sensation I wasn't ready to have yet.
"Give me the chance every man deserves," he whispered to me, his left hand coming up to brush away a piece of my hair that had settled across my face. He tucked it carefully behind my ear. It was then that the screech of the gargoyles awakening shook the grounds of Castle Wyvern. I let out a breath in relief, glad that I would soon be out of my day time guardian's presence. Constantine however didn't realize my action as one of relief but as if I was hypnotize by his obvious advances onto my person.
"It's time for me to leave you," I stated as I took a step back, my eyes casting down ward. "It is time for me to fulfill my other obligations."
"Of course," he stated taking a step closer to me, filling in the gap I had only just created, "but I must tell you my lady. These are not the best of times to be wondering about. Our scouts have just returned Vikings have been raiding villages to the North of us. I would suggest staying close to the Castle; I would even suggest allowing me to accompany you as well during the evening. One can never be too careful with these things."
I looked at him with uncertainty. I had heard of these men, these Vikings. They are terrible men, dangerous men. The gargoyle tales hold no candle to the ones I've heard about Vikings.
"The Vikings never travel this way during the winter seasons. The seas are far too cold; the ice will leave them stranded. Breukelen will be more than enough for the time being I assure you," I stated as I tried to move around him so that I may go to my gargoyle. Constantine grabbed my upper arm, causing me to fall rather close against him, his face close to my ear.
"I must insist my lady. I would feel more at ease knowing you were in the presence of a human when things start to get out of hand," he said rather forcefully.
I looked up at him, fury evident on my features as I was about to respond to his rather rude assumption about my gargoyle guardian when I was interrupted. My night time guardian came out of nowhere, lifting Constantine into the air by the collar of his dress shirt. He lifted him up to him, their faces only a half an inch apart.
"Put me down," Constantine demanded of Breukelen who only growled low and deep back at him. Breukelen turned to look at me as if waiting for my acceptance to put him down. I hesitated for only a second or two before conceding to do so. Breukelen of course dropped him flat.
"And you believe you can protect her?" Breukelen asked his human counterpart, "You can't even protect her from a gargoyle, let alone yourself."
"You," Constantine pointed at Breukelen, "are nothing more than an animal. A dog set out to protect its master, nothing more."
"If that be," my red gargoyle stated with a nod of his head. "Then that will be."
Constantine gave one last look at me as if hoping I would back up his statement. I did nothing but hold my head a little higher than before. He let out a long drawn out laugh that echoed deep within him, a laugh that chilled me to the bone, promising me something that I will one day regret.
"You are just like the Captain. A means to their end," Constantine cryptically said to us before he turned on his heal and strode back into the warmth of Castle Wyvern. I watched him go until he was out of my sight. I then turned my attention back to Breukelen. I found him watching me intently.
"Thank you," I said to him in a very uneasy voice.
"It's my job," he said with a tilt of his head as if somehow my thanks embarrassed him.
"What Constantine said," I began taking a step towards him, "he was wrong."
Breukelen looked down at me, his eyes turning into dark amber. His eyes searched mine as if looking for an answer I was unable to give him, an answer to a question I was unaware of. I could do nothing but hide the heat that had radiated from within me by looking away. Breukelen let out a sort of half cough before escorting me back to the entrance of Castle Wyvern.
"I'll be up in a minute," Breukelen informed me. I nodded my head in acceptance. He once again looked at me with those deep brown eyes of his, a look over passing his face. A look I couldn't place but felt I had seen somewhere before. He hesitantly left me at the doors of Castle Wyvern and made his way over to gargoyle territory. I watched him walk away from me, he never turned back.
I've been here for over a month now. The winds have changed and the air is now frigid from the arctic waters that splash haphazardly against the rocks below Castle Wyvern. I wrap my furs more tightly around me as I look down from my balcony to the bleak land below me. The only things about were the gargoyles and even they were huddled close to one another. I sighed and walked back into the warmth and comfort of my room.
I didn't go immediately to my room like Breukelen asked me too. I wondered inside the castle caught up in the small quarrel that had gone on between Breukelen and Constantine. Something about it was rather off putting to me. It was during that brief walkabout that I overheard the whispers of others.
Rumors have already begun to spread. We had believed for so long that our only adversaries were the Irish and the English. But word has been scattered about the winds, a new, more horrendous threat now approaches our coasts. Men who leave no stone unturned, no home un-sacked and no woman untouched. It brings shivers not brought on from the cold to my body. And they believed that the gargoyles were barbaric.
"Is everything all right?" the deep sympathetic voice of my only companion now-a-days says to me from across the room. For a moment I feel a since of calm wash over me. A feeling I had believed would never be brought on by the presence of a gargoyle.
"I am fine," I reply as I turn to face him. He has on thicker furs like mine. They're not nearly as heavy or body covering, but a noticeable difference from his normal attire. He approaches me, cautiously like a frightened animal ready to bolt at any moment, to stand nearer me and the fire that's blazing in my private fireplace.
"You don't look fine," he states as he looks down at me. His deep brown eyes lighten up from the glow of the fire.
"Constantine has brought news from the North," I begin to tell him, looking away and into the fire, I hear my guardian snort with disdain. They've had a few misguided discussions Constantine and Breukelen, over my welfare in the last couple of nights. Even before their small quarrel. Constantine believes he would be more attuned to my needs than that of any gargoyle. Breukelen of course then implied that Constantine was more likely to attune to those needs in my bed chamber. Let's just say they haven't been on speaking terms since. "He brings news of a more deadly threat heading our way."
My comment seems to bring him to attention. He moves his head in order to catch my eye; worry is etched within his own. "What kind of threat?"
"Vikings."
The name stirs something within him. He seems to stop moving and breathing all at the same time. His dark eyes seem to almost turn to black before they shift into a blazing white. A growl erupts from within him.
"Has anyone informed Goliath?" He asks, the feral nature of his features never changing.
"Princess Kathryn has made arrangements to speak with him in the great hall this evening," I reply confused as to why my guardian would take on such a stance on the whole situation. It brings an almost rising fear within me. Breukelen turned to leave, but I grabbed him by the arm, tugging him to remain here with me. He whipped around to face me, the glowing of his eyes still burning strong from the news.
His eyes begin to slowly soften as he looks at me, my face obviously set in a worried expression. "Tell me what's going on?"
He hesitates before answering me almost as if he's going to consider what he's about to tell me. It hurts my feelings, leaving a sting behind knowing he doesn't trust me.
"I am not sure."
I look at him, and then sigh. It's not my place to tell him that his inability to trust me hurts me more than anything else. It's not my place to care. But as I look at him, his amber eyes searching my own, I know in that instant that I do care. I care a lot more that I ought to.
"It's winter Breukelen. The Vikings won't be coming this way for some time, at least not until late spring. We have plenty of time to figure everything out before they get here. I am going to be just fine," I pressed to him trying to reassure him. I know that I am his only real concern. The gargoyles can take care of themselves. Heck, they'll probably be the ones protecting the rest of us. But me? I am nothing but a fragile human girl. Even in the eyes of humans I am one of the weakest links.
"I just can't take that chance," he replied forlornly, looking at me like I am his only life line in this world.
"What do you want to do then?" I asked searching his eyes for any indication of what to do next.
"I think…," he paused with a gut retching sigh, "I think it would be best if we sent you home come this spring."
I blanched at that and tried my best to recover as quickly as possible. "What?...No!"
He looked at me his face a mix of emotions. "It'll be safer and you'll be closer to home. Isn't that what you've always wanted?"
Again I looked at him as if I had been caught in a cross road. Leaving Castle Wyvern is something I've been trying to do for nearly a month now. But it seems in the last week or so that my mind has had a change of heart. I know longer have the sudden sense of urgency to turn tail and return to my home. I have no desire to leave, no desire to leave Castle Wyvern, I have no desire to leave Breukelen.
The realization had me reeling. I took a step back trying to steady myself as I let the new awareness wash over me. Breukelen thought I was going to faint and made to steady me, his large hands wrapping tightly around my waist. I gripped his arm, our bodies pressed against one another. My breath began to come out in ragged pants. I dared a slow glance up at Breukelen. He was watching me with a hard, heated stare.
I quivered under the gaze.
"Are you scared of me?" He asked, his words coming out in short breaths.
"No," I said with a shake of my head.
"Then why are you shaking?"
I blushed furiously at that. The knowledge that I had become attracted to him, to a monster, was almost mind boggling. What would my Father say if he ever knew? I didn't answer him immediately. Instead I just continued to look at him. His face shifted to confusion to hurt as my silence echoed across the room.
"I am not afraid of you. I am…," I stopped unable to finish my sentence. Breukelen looked at me, the hurt fading at my statement but the confusion never left. I didn't have the courage to finish that sentence. I didn't have the courage to admit my attraction to him.
"You are my charge, the only person in this world I've sworn to protect. I can't allow anything to happen to you," he admitted to me and I felt my heart shutter at his words.
"How can you say that?" I asked him hurt now coming to the forefront of my mind. "How can you say you want to protect me when all you want to do is send me away? What if they come to my home first Breukelen? Or what if they come here and kill you all and then head straight for us? Nothing you will be able to do will be able to protect me if we are not together!"
He looked at me as if I had pulled his world from out from beneath him. He looked on the verge of tears himself. Apparently those same thoughts have passed through his mind as well. The thought of my death shattering his careful resolve, allowing the young adult I knew that he was to surface.
"I won't lose you!" He shouted at me, gripping my arms tight as he all but shook me.
"Then don't!" I hollered back at him and then the next thing I knew my lips were on his and my whole world was changed in an instant. And I had no idea on how to stop it.