A/N t&a: guys, really, at this point it's totally redundant but we seriously cannot even begin to express our gratitude and love for all of you. thank you, thank you, thank you so so so much for reading, for reviewing, for reccing and for just being around. you're all seriously fucking awesome.

you know what we own, you know what we don't. no need to hash it out.

How did you think you could run away so soon?
With your heart as heavy
Heavy as the moon
Yes, you told me you're sorry but it's hard to tell
Yes, you told me you paid penance but
To whom?
"This House of Cards" Jamie Mefford and Blue Light

I check my phone for the fifth time in thirteen minutes. It's been that long since I texted Bella. It shouldn't take her this long to answer a simple "What are you doing?" If there's one thing that pisses me off to no fucking end it's being ignored.

I send her another one telling her to come over and then start drumming my fingers on the counter. I send one more saying that I have a surprise for her and then wait.

Finally, four minutes later, she responds. "I'm busy but thanks."

Guilt is an interesting emotion. I don't think I was in the wrong necessarily but I hate knowing that I hurt her. And I especially hate feeling like I may have fucked our relationship up before it ever even went anywhere.

"Busy doing what at four on a Sunday?" I respond.

I also fucking hate it when Finn's at his mom's. I was okay with it—not much I can do—but then I got used to Bella being around when he wasn't and now I can't fucking stand being by myself like this. Bored and fucking nervous with nothing to do but sit here and dwell on my guilt.

My phone dings and I open it quickly. I snort in disbelief at her response. All it says is, "Washing my hair."

That's seriously what she said. As if she couldn't come up with a better excuse. "I have a shower here. I can wash it for you. Come over."

I refuse to take no as an answer especially when I know she's sitting at home on her computer, chewing on her thumb.

"That's okay. I think I can handle it. I'm sure you can find someone else to surprise," she responds.

For god's sake. She's not gonna let this shit go. On the bright side, her responses are coming more quickly.

"Are you still on that? Come on, B, come over. Or I can come get you."

"You can't just come over here and make me come. Washing my hair takes a long time."

"Wanna bet?" I respond. "I can make you come in soooooo many ways, baby love. You've got 20 minutes to get your ass over here."

"Give me 30," she responds.

"Done. I started the clock. Hurry up."

I laugh at myself, at the text, and at the image of her blushing and flustered as she reads it. Fucking Bella. There's just something so innocent and refreshing and entertaining about her. And the thing is, she's innocent but she's really not. I mean, the girl watches porn. She's very much in tune sexually she just needs to see what she's missing. If she weren't so nervous and embarrassed about being sexual it would be so much easier to get the ball rolling on this.

I get the ingredients for her surprise out and watch the clock. I have every intention of going out and finding her if she's late.

There's a knock on the door when she only has two minutes left. I stroll over to the door and swing it open. She looks irritated as all hell, her hair is wet, and her arms are crossed over her chest in a way that probably isn't supposed to turn me on but she's pushing her tits up and she's wearing one of those little tank tops that she seems to love so much.

"Hi," I say and pull her into the apartment. "Was there traffic?"

She crouches down, ignoring me for the moment, and let's Walt lap at her face. She murmurs to him, still ignoring me, and rubs his belly when he drops to the ground. "You know," she finally says slowly, "it's not nice to threaten people to get what you want."

"I do what I need to," I answer simply and lock the door.

She pushes up from her crouch and wipes her hands off on her little skirt. I put my hand on the back of her neck and smile down at her.

"I'm glad you came. I really do have a surprise for you," I say and lean in to cover her lips with mine—partly because she's biting the shit out of it but mostly because I just really fucking want to.

She turns her head at the last moment and my lips land on her cheek. I growl my disapproval. This shit is getting seriously fucking old.

"This better be some surprise. To cut into hair washing and all."

"Are you seriously still not kissing me?" I ask, ignoring her question, my frustration blatant.

She turns and walks away from me, trailing her fingers down the bar, and doesn't look at me. "Seriously. The surprise?"

Fine. We'll play it like that. Game on, baby.

"Come over here," I say from behind the bar. "Or are you not standing next to me either?"

She rolls her eyes and moves to stand next to me. Her eyes scan the stuff on the bar and she runs a finger over each of the bottles that I took out for her. "Where's Finn?" she asks.

"At his mom's," I tell her even though she knows the answer already. If the kid's not here he's at Savannah's. I get what she's trying to do. "So what's going on between you and that douche bag you brought into my bar?"

"You mean Mike?" she asks absently. "You saw him when you came to the office, didn't you? He works in the cubicle next to mine. Kind of handsy but nice."

"You let him put his hands on you?" I narrow my eyes at her but she's still not looking at me. The feeling in my chest at the thought of that dickhead's hands on hers rivals the previous one of guilt from before.

She chuckles but it's got more nerves than humor in it and then runs her hand down my back. "He didn't get Walt privileges. He's harmless. Why does it matter who puts their hands on me anyway?"

I clench my teeth together tightly and count to ten, annoyed that she's playing this game, disgusted at the image of anyone putting their grimy ass hands all over her, and especially pissed off at the picture of that dick touching her tits. "Do you want your surprise?" I ask, changing the subject entirely.

"Yes please. I mean, I did come all the way over here."

"I'm giving you the secret to La Bella," I tell her.

She smiles up at me—the first genuine smile she's given me in days—and bounces a little on the balls of her feet. "Yeah? I don't know how to make any drinks. Other than a Shirley Temple and I don't think that counts."

I move and stand directly behind her, sandwiching her body between mine and the bar. I move her hair off of her neck and lean in until my lips are right by her ear. I cover her hand with mine and then reach for the first bottle. We both uncap it and then pour it into the cup. "Half Stoli Razberi," I whisper directly into her ear. "For your sweetness."

Her breaths are getting shorter and shorter but she doesn't try to move. I press my lips to the space right below her ear and kiss her, darting my tongue out to taste her. I switch sides then, moving her hair back over to the other side, and grab the next bottle—her hand still in mine. "One quarter Peach Schnapps," I whisper into her ear and then lick her from her shoulder up to her ear. "Because you taste like peaches and I want to know if your pussy tastes like that too."

I rub myself against her and she whimpers slightly and pushes back against me. "And one last quarter of Triple Sec." I pour a drop if it on my finger first and then rub it against her lower lip. "Taste it," I whisper without moving my finger.

She darts her tongue out and I slip my finger into her mouth. And fuck me, she sucks on my finger. Only for a second but she actually does it. And my cock is so fucking hard pressed up against her like this.

"All it needs is a little bit of ice and maybe a splash of cranberry for color." I put my hands around her stomach and drop my lips to the space where her shoulder meets her neck.

I turn her around in my arms and press her back into the bar. She looks up at me through her liquid chocolate eyes, framed by her heavy dark lashes. "I want to kiss you, Bella." Her breathing, like mine, is coming faster and faster. "I need to. And I know you need it too."

She drops her chin to her chest and mumbles, "I don't know if I can."

I pull on her hair, tilting her face up to mine. "You can." I rub my lips against hers, not kissing just rubbing, holding back, asking to be let in. "You can," I repeat.

She shakes hers head until her hair falls in front of her face. "You won't mean it."

"Bella." I wrap one arm around her waist and use my free hand to push her hair back. "I've never wanted anyone so much."

She looks up at me then, eyes darting nervously between my eyes and my lips, and I figure I have to give it one more shot. I tighten my grip in her hair and press my lips to hers again, firm but soft, sucking, nipping, and then I flick my tongue out.

And then finally, fucking finally, her lips part and her tongue sneaks out and slides against mine, and heat just fucking explodes between us. I hold her head still and just kiss the shit out of her.

I love the way she tastes, sweet, spicy, and just fucking hot. Her fingers tangle around my hair and I groan against her mouth. I wrap my hands around her waist and lift her up onto the counter. I lift both hands to cup her face, stroking my thumbs across her cheeks, and devour her mouth the way I've been wanting to for the past week. I feel like I could kiss this girl for the next hundred years.

She wraps her arms around my back and pulls me closer. I settle my hips between her legs and my cock is so fucking hard as I press it against her. I rock my hips against her and then slide my hand up her stomach to cover her tit. I pull away from her mouth and press my lips to the spot on her neck that always makes her fucking squirm all over the place.

I pinch her nipple through her shirt and the little groans she makes in the back of her throat combined with the way she shudders against me makes me even harder. I love her sounds, the way she can't hold back her pleasure. They're almost enough to make me cum in my pants.

Her hands are all over me, rubbing up and down my back, over my ass, pulling me close until I can feel the heat of her pussy through her clothes and my own. Her nipple is so hard in my fingers and I want to suck it into my mouth so fucking badly. I want to hear her scream my name.

I've never fucking heard bells before just from kissing someone. I've heard like a dull roar and maybe fireworks once or twice but never bells. I wonder what fucking sound I'll hear when I finally get inside of her.

And then her hands stop stroking me and instead of pulling me closer, she starts pushing me away. I push more firmly against her. No fucking way can she stop this now, not when I'm so far gone.

I try to cover her mouth with mine again and growl in frustration when she pulls away and flattens her hands against my chest.

"Doorbell," she says, half gasp, half moan. "Someone's ringing the bell, Edward."

"They'll stop." I bury my fingers in her hair and tilt her head to the side so I can kiss her neck. She wiggles against me enough to make me pull back and look at her. "Do you really want me to answer the door right now?"

"What if it's Finn? Or someone with an emergency? Or a lost child?" she whispers, rambling through puffy lips without opening her eyes.

"Finn's not tall enough to reach the bell." I run my hands up and down her bare, smooth thighs. "And Savannah would call before bringing him here."

A tiny moan escapes her parted lips. "You should check… just to be sure."

"Fine." I hook my hands under her knees and tug until her ass is at the edge of the island. I press my lips to hers and then pull back. "Don't move."

I walk backwards towards the door just to make sure that she listens to me. When she finally opens her eyes, she blushes, takes her bottom lip between her teeth and dips her head. I chuckle because she's so fucking cute—one minute she's got her legs wrapped around my hips and grinding into me and the next she's all shy.

I rip the door open angrily because whoever this fucking idiot is that can't take a hint has now decided to alternate between ringing the bell and knocking. It's Emmett. Of course.

"I'm busy," I tell him shortly and move to slam the door shut in his face.

He slaps an open hand on it and tries to look into the apartment. "Who's here?"

"I have company. You're interrupting. Is this an emergency or can it wait?"

"I just wanted to tell Finn that I got tickets to the game next week."

"He's with Sav. I'll bring him by your place tomorrow."

He grins and puts his hands up in the air, backing away slowly. "Have a good night," he says with a suggestive wink and I slam the door shut before spinning around and walking back towards the kitchen.

"You didn't stay where I told you to stay." She's wandering around my kitchen going through cabinets and drawers.

She jumps and moves quickly to the center of the room. "I wasn't sure how long you were going to be. You have a lot of stuff for someone who doesn't cook."

"I never said I don't cook." I take a few steps towards her but she moves further away. "Savannah would cut my balls off if I only gave the kid junk food."

She chuckles and looks down as she shuffles her feet. "That's Finn's mom? Savannah?" she asks and bites down on her lip.

I nod slowly. "I've told you that, haven't I?"

She looks up at me through her big, sweet brown eyes and it's obvious that she's full of questions. "I think so. It's hard to remember. I think you had your tongue in my mouth at the time and then you distracted me. You two are friends, then?"

"I like having my tongue in your mouth," I say and laugh when she blushes. "But yes, Sav and I are friends." I lean against the counter behind me and cross my arms. "Do you want to continue this conversation on the couch or do you like standing?"

She swallows hard. "Are we actually going to have this conversation?" She wrings her hands together. "It's just that… you usually avoid it and I do have questions, but I don't want to pry. But if you're willing, the couch please."

I feel bad that she looks so unsure about asking me some simple fucking questions. I don't want her to be unsure or nervous around me. I take her hand and lead her into the living room. When I sit down, I pull her onto my lap. "You can ask me whatever you want."

She nods and takes a breath before shifting slightly and meeting my eyes. "Were you and Finn's mom ever more than friends? I mean, were you in love?"

I play with the ends of her hair and then run my fingers up and down her back trying to ease some of her tension. "Savannah and I were…" I hum and try to think of the right word to use. "It was a really volatile relationship. We're great as friends and I do love her, but I was never in love with her."

She lifts her hand and starts chewing on her thumb a little bit. "And Finn was a surprise? But you didn't stay together?"

I wrap my fingers around her wrist and tug her hand from her mouth. "If I thought Finn would've been better off if we stayed together, I would've married her. But we clash. A lot. Raising a kid in a house that's a warzone half the fucking time isn't fair."

"That makes sense," she says with a slow nod. "Sometimes people aren't meant to get together. But that doesn't mean the kids should suffer. So now you guys just make it work? No hard feelings?"

"No hard feelings." I rub her thigh again because I just can't stop touching this girl. "We're really good friends."

"Finn's really lucky then. Not many people can say their parents are friends."

I slide my hand into her hair and rub small circles on her scalp. "Are yours not?"

She shrugs. "My parents live separate lives and that works for them. They never do anything together. I would hardly say they're friends. But they love me, so I can't really complain, right?" She sighs and I use my free arm to tug her closer to me. "What about your parents?"

I drop my forehead to her shoulder and take a deep breath. I wasn't prepared to share this today but I'm expecting honesty from her so I can't hold back either. "My parents died in a car accident when I was eleven." It's still like ripping a band-aid off—saying it out loud that is. The faster the better.

Bella lets out a shuddering sigh and then spins so that she's facing me, straddling my lap. Her hands go to my face and she presses her forehead to mine. "I know the polite thing is to say I'm sorry," she whispers, "but I feel like that's cliché and I don't want to be cliché. But that sucks. It sucks ass."

I smile softly at her and rub my nose against hers. "It sucked a lot of ass."

"And then? What happened then?" She brushes her lips over mine and then wraps her arms around me.

I put mine around her waist and press my face into her neck. "I was angry. I mean, really fucking angry. I was a total fucking terror to be around. Nobody wanted me. And then two years later, I was adopted by a woman with the biggest bleeding heart in the world and her husband who couldn't deny her anything." I smile into her neck at the thought of Carlisle and Esme.

She slides her hands up the back of my shirt and starts to scratch my back. I sigh as goose bumps race up and down my skin. "I bet she's amazing. And I bet she adores you and lets you eat processed food."

I laugh and pull back so I can press a kiss to her lips. "Actually, Carlisle is obsessed with fast food. He'd sneak me out of the house in the middle of the night for burgers and shit because Esme wasn't about it at all."

She rests her head on my shoulder and sighs wistfully. "That sounds amazing."

I just hug her to me. Having her here, wrapped in my arms, pressed so intimately against my body while I tell her all of my secrets, feels right. It feels okay. I'd never told anyone about that but telling Bella just felt good.

"I like your story though. It has a solid plot line and little happy endings."

She always talks about these random, mysterious stories with so much sadness in her voice. "I got lucky," I say with a nod. "I got really lucky."